I look at you, I look at you but you’re getting farther away
I beg, I cling but you’re getting farther away. 

Crying Again - Moon Myung Jin

Kai had a heart cancer. Primary cardiac tumor, to be exact. He's already at stadium three, which is the last stadium. And even if there was a probability to survive, it's only a small one. That's why he needed those pills to bear the pain. That's why he was weak.
That's why he said he was dying.
Sehun tried hard to hide his emotion when he was telling me about Kai's condition. Well, he almost didn't show anything on his face, but his eyes couldn't lie. Sehun almost cried.  He wasn't the type that usually show his feeling, and now that he did, it means Kai really dying. 
Kai is dying.
I've always tried to distract my mind from the thought of Kai was dying, but at the end, i knew that deep down in my heart, I'm scared.I'm actually more scared than anyone could ever imagine. I've lost my mom, and i don't wanna lose Kai too. Even the thought of Kai will leave really scared me.

"He'll survive, right?" I managed to let out my voice, but my tears started to build up. "Kai.. He'll be okay, right?"
Sehun looked down, didn't seem to be able to speak.
"Sehun, answer me!" I started to yell frustratedly.
"I don't know!" He yelled back. That was the first time that Sehun actually talk to me harshly. He realized that I was surprised, then he lowered his voice. "He.. Perhaps.. He didn't have much time left."
My eyes started to get blur because of the tears. 
I was hoping that Sehun will say "he'll be okay." "don't worry." but the answer turned out to be the last thing i wanted to hear. 
"How long..?" I didn't even know if I'm ready to hear the answer.
Sehun sighed then whispered in a low voice, but I could hear it clearly.
"Two months."

The next day, Kai came to school. 
He didn't change muchㅡexcept for the fact he looked so tired and paleㅡ but I swear, seeing him was the most relieved thing I've ever felt. He's okay and that's all i wanted. I couldn't ask for more.
He walked passed by me at the corridor when I was about to call him. He didn't even look at me. Wait, did he actually know i was here?

"Kai." I called him once, but he keep walking.
"Kai." I called him again, this time louder. Still no response.
"Kim Jong In!" I yelled at him and he stopped walking.
I've never called his real name because he said he didn't like it, but this time, i don't care. I just wanted him to look at me.
I walked towards him and grinned him with the best smile. At least that was the best smile i could show when all i really wanted to do was crying.
"Where have you been? I was worriedㅡ"
"Don't talk to me." He cut me off coldly.
My smile faded off as soon as my brain processed the words he said. "W..what?"
"Are you idiot or w