I used to love writing fantasy stories with dystopian or steampunk themes as a kid. I kind of rediscovered my love for steampunk with Red Light. So, I'm trying it with JungLi.

I know, I know. I should be updating Tom and Jerry. Don't worry, I'm not through with that. I'm just reorganizing the sequence of things before I place the next chapter. I wasn't happy with what I completed before I went to vacation. I want every chapter to matter.

Anyway, so let's try this? Steampunk Jungli?

NOTICE:

Before I go to the gist of this notice, I would like to say a couple of things. This won't be easy as I will be revealing a lot about my feelings and I am not a very open person - a lot, but not all of them. I feel that my subscribers and my readers deserve this explanation.

Given that I am already a very depressed person, I invested in kpop. It made me smile. Through those 2 short early years that I started, I ended up with f(x) and I never regretted anything. I always had the heart for underdogs. f(x) was the perfect underdog. They are great and they continue to be despite the lack of attention given to them by the people surrounding their artistic growth.

2014 hasn't been the greatest for me, especially the later half of the year. I tried to pull myself together, but I just couldn't. Important people in my life have come and go - people pivotal to my growth as an individual, as an aspiring agent of my chosen career, as an artist and as a writer. It hasn't been easy at all. I was more depressed than I could ever be. I tried. I tried really hard to be better. The last attempt I had to be better was when I started writing this particular fic. When I found that I could not write one word without feeling that it didn't have the same heart I wanted it to have, I stopped. I write by crying my heart out, but given how depressed I felt I couldn't feel a thing anymore. The story was in my head but my heart refused to be mine. I tried to engage in the other forms of art I love, but I got the same results. I could not finish a single thing. I could not even get to the parts that made me smile. Life was becoming tiring.

In my attempt to salvage this fic, I tried to come back, but it did not make me happy at all. I had written eight chapters and I still have them to this day. I keep reading them, four, five, six times until I could no longer count how many times I tried to appreciate my own work. I could not see my heart in it. I didn't want to give up so I vowed that I will one day be okay and that I will one day feel fulfilled, that I am worthy, that I am capable of finishing something again. So I kept the bulk of this story in a single word file and locked it away, along with my other fics.

I tried to distract myself with other things, but I still ended up failing. It was only months but if felt like years to me, years of feeling like a failure. Something happened though. One night I just sat in front of my computer and read my elementary attempts at my own fairy tales. They , but they were full of heart. The burden of being incapable became heavier than ever, and I am talking about what I feel now. I felt strange while I read my old stories, but I was crying. I was finally crying. I knew then that I have not lost yet. I still want I want to fight back.

I tried searching for the files that held the bulk of my fics and I found them. I read them, even the ones already uploaded and finished. I didn't know my style anymore, that's how long I have been detached. I swear the fics felt foreign to me. So I reviewed the skeleton of this fic and I couldn't remember what I planned on the list under the title "tiny but important details", but the bulk came back to me altogether, which takes us to the reason why I deleted the Prologue and the few chapters I have already uploaded. I am rebooting this story. I will keep the bulk of the old one, but I am tweaking important parts so I could align them with the heart I am giving this. Right now I have it back, but it's more chaotic than ever, so bear with me if this story turns out heavier than what I previously write.

I know that f(x) too is Sulli less now and things haven't been emotionally dandy as f(x) stans or Sulli stans. I love Sulli the most. And for that reason I will not give up on this story. The climate I am writing in will not be the same. I might have already lost a lot of my readers already, because of the state of f(x), the state I left this story in, and all the time that went by. But more than anything, this story is for my support for f(x), for Sulli, and, most importantly, myself. I just want to feel okay, my f(x) heart and my own. I want to feel that I am capable of accomplishing something.

At this point I may only have one, two, three readers. But I think and feel that I can work with a very small audience. This story is also for those who waited for it and who are still interested. I will delete this notice as soon as I upload the chapter I am working on.

So, shall we?