Chapter Nine: Violence and Lullabies

            “Omoni!” Luhan yelled from the living room. You picked up the basket and carried it with you to the other room. “Omoni~!”

            “Ne, ne?” you asked when you opened the door. The boys were sprawled out on the floor, looking at the ceiling as Luhan yelled for you. They looked at you, their eyes widening when they saw the basket.

            “Brother! Brother!” They yelled happily, waddling towards you. You set down the basket in front of them and took the blanket off. It was silent as they looked at their brothers laying in the basket until one got annoyed.

            “Yah!” Kris yelled, poking one of them. “Wake up!” You smiled, happy for the new words they picked up, but also a little annoyed that he was trying to wake them up.

            “Kris!” You said quietly with a scolding look. “Don’t wake up your brothers! I don’t want them to be grumpy.” Kris looked at you, then at Luhan and Xiumin, and then back at you. Suddenly, they all smiled and began to yell.

            “Brother! Brother! Up! Up!” They yelled, putting their faces right at the opening near the babies’ faces so their voices would became really loud to the babies sleeping. You sighed, listening to the babies wake up. You expected them to cry, but they laughed! You leaned over to look inside the basket from behind, your hair dangling in front of them. They looked at you and grabbed your hair, giggling as they played with it.

            “Omoni!” Xiumin said as he jumped on your back, trying to get your attention on him and not the others, the jealous little baby. You took your hair back, and took Xiumin off your back, gently wrestling with him on the floor. He then pushed you and you pretended he turned you over, pulling him with you on your torso. He sat on your stomach, giggling at you pretending to be dead. You felt Kris and Luhannie get on you, too, hearing them giggle. Soon, you heard cries from the basket. You swooped the three in your arms, setting them in front of the basket, allowing you to sit up. You looked in and saw the babies with tears in their eyes, holding their arms open for you.

            “Umma!” The one on the left cried, tears escaping his eyes. You picked the children up, setting them on your legs, their faces in your chest, sobbing. You rubbed their backs slowly, trying to calm them down, along with the help of the other three.

            “Shh, shh, babies, don’t cry,” you tried shushing them gently. “Please don’t cry…Umma’s here.” The other three, not knowing what to do, either, began to cry as well, seeking your comfort by burying their heads into your back or your sides. You didn’t know what to do either, feeling so incompetent. You hoped this never happened.

            When you got the first two, you remembered being so scared you couldn’t care for them as well as you wished you could. You were so scared of that thought and getting more kids. You couldn’t really take care of yourself, yet alone twelve infants.

You had a really good job, getting like thirty thousand a month, total if you didn’t spend anything, but you used most of the money to pay off your tuition and school books. When you paid it off during the month, you only had around three thousand left for the bills on your parents’ house (that you put up for rent a while back when you started living with your grandmother) and food for you. After all of that, you only had at least ten dollars left to “save”. And you did. You saved ten to twenty dollars every month, putting it in your bank account, adding up to seven hundred and eighty dollars in your bank account every year. When your parents’ house sold for around three sixty thousand, plus one year of working, you had a lot of money in your bank account. At least over four thousand, but even then, you couldn’t really do anything since working took most of your friends away from you.

So, you had a good job and everything, but you never bought anything “nice” for yourself, only going to thrift shops and garage sales, getting your furniture from Good Will! But, your life was going well, and now, you could probably work for a little bit to help out…if only you could get them to quiet down……

An idea popped into your head.

“Do not wait anymore for me, please.

 It's harder than you would think.

 Every fairy tale has happy endings,

 But why did the moon closed its eyes to see?

“Maybe if I was a different girl,

You would take my heart and end this cruel world.

I would try to burn

All the painful memories that she made.

“So Baby don't cry tonight

I promise I will ease the ache.

Baby don't cry tonight

The darkness will be washed away

“‘Cause I promise you that you will never disappear

In my heart, yes, you are here.

So Baby don't cry, cry...

‘Cause my love will always protect you.” You sang gently to them (A/N: This isn’t my song, it belongs to Bulay Gulay on YouTube. She wrote the words, I am borrowing them. Just had to put that out there. She has a very pretty voice, even if she only has two videos! Anyway…). They looked up at you, their eyes slowly closing as you sang to them. They fell asleep, all of them on the floor around you or in your arms. You put them all in a line before lying next to Luhan, putting your arm over all of them, almost not reaching around Xiumin’s waist.

And just like that, you slept with five of your babies in your arms.