MARCH 26, 1998, Thursday

            “HyoYeon, can I ask you something?” TaeYeon nudged HyoYeon as soon as he closed the door.

            “What is it?” HyoYeon said, glancing at him before turning her attention back on trying to learn how to play TaeYeon’s guitar.

            “Is there something wrong with Grandpa? He never speaks or anything. He doesn’t even take notice of my existence.”

            “You find it weird being ignored, don’t you?” HyoYeon casually said.

            “I guess,” TaeYeon shrugged. “I mean you know how everyone flocks around me. My brain is really attractive,” he joked.

            “Tch, whatever,” HyoYeon chuckled.  She continued, “Don’t mind Grandpa. He’s been like that since we were kids.”

            “Really?” TaeYeon wondered. “Why?”

            “I don’t know,” HyoYeon said. “I mean I heard it had something to do with Yoon-hee’s parents… or was it some kind of sickness? I really don’t know.”

            “His life seems so boring… he just sits there all day,” TaeYeon sighed.

            “Why not try talking to him, then?” HyoYeon said.

            “I tried… it was as if he didn’t hear me,” TaeYeon pouted. “I wonder what goes up in that head of his…” he stared out the window and there his grandfather was, still sitting there on the porch swing. He wanted to get to know the man, but approaching him didn’t seem as easy as it should be.

            “Anyway, what are you doing?” TaeYeon noted hearing HyoYeon play the precious guitar he has neglected since the accident.

            “Trying to learn guitar,” HyoYeon said.

            “Why?” TaeYeon asked.

            “It’s boring here, that’s why. And besides, this was yours and you don’t play it anymore. It’s such a waste of an instrument,” she said.

            Having nothing to do, TaeYeon just sat on the couch beside HyoYeon for about an hour or two. He would snicker when HyoYeon would make a mistake or when the chord would sound quite out of tune. HyoYeon would bluntly insult him about how he used to back in the past, too. TaeYeon just laughed at her every remark.

            At some point when HyoYeon was finally getting the hang of it, TaeYeon suddenly remembered the grave he visited with Yoon-hee a few days ago.

            “Do you perhaps know who Jung SooJung is?” he asked.

            “Of course,” HyoYeon quickly responded. “She’s Jessica’s sister.”

            “Jessica?”

            “Yeah, you know, the girl Tiffany Unnie lives with…”

            “Oh… Jessica Jung,” TaeYeon nodded his head, recalling the blonde girl who gave him his notebook.

            “Why?” HyoYeon looked at him.

            “It’s nothing…” he brushed it off.

APRIL, 11, 1998, Saturday

980322

To SooJungie~

You can see us right now from above, right?

It’s TaeYeon-Oppa, don’t you remember? He was Jessica-Unnie’s boyfriend back in the day. I’m not exactly sure if they’re still together, but you do remember him right? He used to visit your grave every 22nd of every month, too.

Used to… :(

Right now, I feel sad, Krystal… He doesn’t remember me. It’s such a tragic thing that he lost his memories. All the times I spent together with him—all gone. All the inside jokes we used to share together—all gone. How can I help make remember? Every time I try to speak to him, I feel like I’m burdening him with the past and whenever I do try being friends with him, I feel like I’m being selfish to force him to get to know me. I don’t know what to do…

I also don’t know how he’s feeling right now. One day he’s all gloomy, the next day he’s smiling. One minute he’s laughing, but the next second, he’s holding in something. I can see that he’s struggling so much and I can’t even do anything about it. What could be bothering him? Would HyoYeon-Unnie know? No one is exactly telling me anything. Every time I ask about how he is right now, they all avoid the topic as quick as possible. I can’t even get a direct answer from HyoYeon-Unnie.

Yoon-hee closed her notebook after reading the letter she wrote back when TaeYeon joined her in the cemetery. Then she turned off the little lamp by her bedside. When she laid her head down on her pillow to sleep, she saw TaeYeon’s eyebrows crumple as he slept, his eyes twitching every now and then.

            She wished he knew what was troubling him or what nightmares or dreams he had tonight. She wished she could comfort him or cheer him up, conquer his fears, just like how he did to her back in the good ol’ days.

YEAR 1987

            “There are monsters under my bed, I’m telling you Oppa!” 6 year old Yoon-hee trembled.

            “Is there?” 8 year old TaeYeon snickered. “But I’m right here. I’m a ghost and monster repellant, you know!

            “Tch, I don’t believe you!” Yoon-hee pouted. “They’re scary, I’m telling you! And if you put your foot down on the floor, they might snatch from under the bed!”

            “Really? Let me try.” He let his little legs dangle from the bed waiting for the “monsters under the bed” to touch him. A minute passed and nothing happened. “See, I told you! Monsters fear me!”

            “Ei, Oppa! Put your legs up! They might catch you!” Yoon-hee slapped his arms softly. Amused, TaeYeon just did as he was told while giggling at his adorably ridiculous cousin.

            “Why don’t we go to sleep now? I’m right here. They won’t catch you as long as I’m here.”

            “No,” Yoon-hee pouted stubbornly. “I don’t want to sleep. Every time I go to sleep, they come to my dreams and haunt me anyway.”

            “You have nightmares? What are they about?” TaeYeon asked curiously.

            “Red monsters… they take over me and always trap me in rooms with these chess-like floors. They’re really scary… and I call out for mom, but she never comes,” Yoon-hee snuggled to the bed sheets in fear.

            TaeYeon nodded in understanding and let his eyes wander around the room. This room didn’t exactly give the feel of a girls’ room, but rather just a normal old home with small cracks that could take shapes of swaying stick figures in the dark when the moonlight shines on it. It didn’t exactly give a sense of security to a 6 year-old girl.

            Yoon-hee lived only with her grandparents and father. As for her mother… well, in simple terms, you could say that she just… left them. She’s not dead, she’s just… gone.

            TaeYeon slightly understood the situation, but not completely—he didn’t know the details why Yoon-hee’s mother left. Yoon-hee however didn’t understand anything at all. She just thinks that her mother was away for a while. Yoon-hee thinks she’s coming back but TaeYeon knows she never will.

            “Are you really that scared?” TaeYeon asked. “Oppa is right here.”

            “You don’t look strong enough,” Yoon-hee said, making TaeYeon pout, but he quickly laughed it off.

            “Say, you know what? Let’s sleep somewhere more comfortable.”

            “Where?” Yoon-hee’s doe eyes sparkled.

            “It’s a little stuffy here in the house so why don’t we go out for some fresh air?” TaeYeon said.

            “B-but… it is really dark outside. There are monsters on the outside world. Monsters are all the same.”

            “You don’t know that,” TaeYeon said. “Everyone has their own monsters. I have mine in my own home too—in my own bedroom. And yeah, I know there are monsters outside too, but if they’re not our monsters and we’re not their main prey or target, they won’t attack us—unlike the ones in our own bedrooms who can easily snatch us, who are already assigned to scare us. Sometimes we’ve gotta step out of our own rooms to sleep peacefully… or we can come running to our parents at night for protection from them.”

            “Is that how monsters work?” Yoon-hee wondered.

            “I don’t know. Maybe not all of them, but that’s what you’re dealing with right now,” TaeYeon shrugged. “I know because I have a monster at home too and it’s really annoying. I always come running to a place where only I know so that I can sleep. Come, let’s go and sneak out. It’s not far from here.”

            And so, they snuck out late that night. Yoon-hee tightly gripped TaeYeon’s hand as her legs wobbled every step they took. It was no lie that it was very dark outside. Few lamps lit their path trying to get there. Then they took a path out of the main road which led to steep and dusty grounds surrounded by tall trees, and it got darker, scarier, and more dangerous for little kids like them. Still, Yoon-hee trusted her Oppa that she will be protected from the monsters lurking around.

            When they came to a clearing from the small forest, a spring breeze blew towards direction and Yoon-hee was refreshed.

            They were at a high peek which overlooked the town and city. There weren’t much light lit up in the town, but the city was still buzzing alive. This wasn’t what TaeYeon wanted to show though.

            “See that?” TaeYeon pointed upwards. “Wow, there’s a full moon today!”

            “What does that have to do with monsters?”

            “It’s everything, Yoona-yah!” TaeYeon smiled brightly. “Even all the stars that you see! They’re all so pretty, aren’t they?”

            “Yes, they are,” Yoon-hee smiled.

            “See how the bright moon shines down on the big city and how the stars twinkle and wink at us?”

            “Yeah?” Yoon-hee nodded.

            “They keep the monsters away every night. I don’t know for you, but they do for me,” he said. “Knowing how they will never fade away and will always be there every night makes me feel safe. They are all watching me and will protect me from the monsters. And sometimes, I like to think of the moon as the commander of the army at night—just like how the sun watches over the day—and he has all these stars as his soldiers. With their light, they protect the lands from the monsters lurking in the dark.”

            “Wow… that’s really cool,” Yoon-hee smiled.

            “Cha~~ Let’s lie down on the grass and close our eyes,” TaeYeon said as he sat on the grass.

            “But I haven’t slept well these days… do really think sleeping here will work? What if the monster inside chased me out here and will haunt my dreams again?” Yoon-hee pouted.

            “If the monster still haunts you, just know I’m still here. You’re not alone. You’re with your cool monster-repellant Oppa!”

            “Alright then… I’ll try Oppa,” she giggled.

            Soon enough, she fell asleep beside TaeYeon and didn’t dream of monsters anymore. She had a goodnight’s sleep and she was finally able to rest her head after so many restless nights.

Yoon-hee’s eyes fluttered open as she heard a door creaking open. She opened her eyes and saw TaeYeon go out of the room.

            “Where’s he going?” she wondered. She brushed it off, thinking he might like some alone time. So she closed her eyes and continued to sleep again.

            However, a glass shattering and loud thuds shot her eyes open. It even woke HyoYeon up. HyoYeon looked around and found that TaeYeon was not around. She didn’t want to connect the wires.

            “Where’s TaeYeon Oppa?” HyoYeon said, slightly panicking.

            “He went out of the room just a while ago…” Yoon-hee said. HyoYeon immediately sprang to her feet and ran outside. If the shattering glass was caused by TaeYeon, she dared not think about what could’ve happened to him.

            Confused, Yoon-hee groggily trailed behind her to see what the ruckus was about.

            HyoYeon stopped in her steps as she found that it was not TaeYeon who caused all the noise but it was Yoon-hee’s father. The adults even rushed to the scene to see what was going on. It was so late at night, but the noise got everyone up.

            Yoon-hee’s father had a beer in hand, too tipsy to even control his own actions. For some reason, he was enraged, kicking and throwing the tables upside down while his father, Grandpa Kim, just sat there watching with a big frown on his face.

            TaeYeon and HyoYeon’s father, Tae-Jin rushed to the scene and grabbed his brother’s wrist to stop him from doing things any further.

            “Stop it, Young-jin-ah!”

            “Why did she come back? Why!?” Young-jin shouted at his father.

            By this time, Yoon-hee came to the scene. She rushed immediately to her father, helping Tae-Jin to prevent him from getting more reckless.

            “Dad! Dad stop! You’re drunk!”

            “Young-jin! Calm down!”

            The man quickly calmed down but fell on the floor and erupted into tears. Yoon-hee leveled with her father and tapped his back to comfort him.

            Grandpa Kim stood up from his chair, having enough of this, but Yoon-hee’s father stopped him.

            “Why did she come back!?” he shouted. “Why is she here!?”

            Grandpa Kim didn’t answer.

            “Answer me, you fool!” he angrily threw the empty bottle near his father’s feet, causing the ladies to gasp. The old man could’ve been injured. He was already old and fragile. No one needed to make his condition any worse.

            “That’s enough, Young-jin!” his brother angrily shouted at him.

            “Stay out of this, Hyung,” he glared at him. Then he continued shouting at his father, “Tell me you fool of a father! Why did you bring her back!?”

            “Who are you talking about?” his brother asked.

            “My damned wife,” he scoffed.

            Yoon-hee’s eyes dilated in surprise. “W-what?” Yoon-hee’s voice broke. “Mom is back? Dad…”

            Her father realized the she was still there and he sobered up quickly. “Yoon-hee-ah…” he gulped. “I’ll tell you later.”

            “No, no, where is she?” Yoon-hee asked. “I want to see her. It’s been so long.”

            “That won’t do you any good,” he replied.

            “Dad, please! Where is she? I miss her so much…” Yoon-hee’s eyes immediately brimmed with tears.

            “Yoon-hee-ah!” he shouted, sending chills down everyone’s spine. He had never shouted at her daughter like that before. “You can’t see her, okay? She’s not what you think she is!”

            Yoon-hee’s tears started falling, but she stood there, staring directly at her father’s eyes as she burned in anger. “It’s your fault that she left all those years ago, isn’t it? That’s why you don’t want me to see her, because you think I’d hate you if I knew whatever it is that you may have done,” she spat back.

            “Yoon-hee-ah…” Tae-jin, TaeYeon and HyoYeon's father, tried to calm her down but he couldn’t.

            “You probably did something wrong to her, didn’t you?”

            “It was never because of me,” her father said. “I was never the reason she left. I was n