“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have…”

Dear Diary,

I have to admit that I’m not a good son. I know everything that my parents did for me was for the sake of my brighter future, a better life, a better career. But there is one thing that they missed out in the list. Love. Without love, no matter how great and how good that person is, it will never be the best choice for me. I couldn’t deny that deep down inside my heart, I felt thankful for my mother for helping her when she needed someone the most at that time. Without her help, she wouldn’t survive and I won’t have So Won in my life now. But at the same time, I hate her. I hate her for taking the precious moment that I supposed to spend with them in the past 9 years. If she could support us now, why can’t she do it 9 years earlier?  I don’t understand and I won’t be able to understand.

No matter what, everything was already in the past. We couldn’t change anything but can only do better now and in the future. There are too many obstacles that both of us still need to overcome in the future. I’m not afraid of my father or Chae Won. I know in order to protect her and So Won, I have no choice but to hurt them this time. But what make me scared at this moment is my lovely So Won. I promised that I won’t let anything happen to her. But can I really keep my word? The clock is ticking and I still couldn’t find the compatible bone marrow for her. I know the “another way” that she mentioned is an option but I really don’t want to take that step if I still have time, if I still have other choice.

I don’t know. I just need a little more time. Please give me a little more time to look for the best way to help my daughter. She has suffered so much since she was just a baby. I need to save her, we need to save her… in a right way.

Love,

Min Ho

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I’m sorry Mrs Lee… or can I call you eomeonim? I always wanted to call you that. Eomeomin, I’m sorry. By the time you saw this letter, I think So Won and I has already left for some time. Please don’t get me wrong. I left not because I’m not happy or you didn’t take good care of us. I couldn’t ask for a better home, better guardian for these 20 months. From the day you saw me at the bus stop and knew that I was pregnant, you have been doing your best to take care of me, take care of So Won. I really appreciated it. I really do.

Thank you for all the books you brought for me all these while. I heard ahjuhma said you even find your time to go to the bookstore every day to look for books and make sure I won’t be boring at home. You don’t know how much it meant for me. Even though you always said everything you did was because So Won is Min Ho’s daughter and you have the responsibility to take care of us but deep inside, I know you really do care for me. I will never forget that night when So Won was born, you were holding my hand, keep encouraging me that I’m doing great. You know I was very scared and at the same time, you were very scared too. Thank you.

Among all the books you bought for me, I only took away the one that I love the most, ‘Mother’s Love’. This book reminds me of you. Your love for Min Ho, your love for me and your love for So Won, it taught me to be as strong as you. You are a great example for me to learn how to become a good mother. I’ll try my very best to teach So Won to be a kind, useful and good person. I’ll make her to become a person who you will be proud to have her as your granddaughter. You told me the bangle will keep So Won safe and healthy. I leave it for you because we hope this bangle can keep you safe and healthy too and at the same time, it could also remind you that from a place that far away from you, there will always be someone who love you and miss you.

Lastly, please don’t look for us. This is my final request I wanted to beg you. I just want to forget everything in the past and start a new life with So Won. I promise that no matter what happen, how hard it is, I’ll take good care of So Won and myself. Thank you for bringing Min Ho to this world. Although being with him was just a very short moment but he brought me the precious thing that will stay with me forever. Please take care and please forgive me.

Love,

Shin Hye.

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Kim Mi Kyung let out a deep sigh after re-reading the letter again that Shin Hye left for her years ago. She gently folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. She took the bangle and shakes it softly as the bell sound filled the study room. Her lips were curled into a soft smile. She averted her gaze to the photo of her holding baby So Won in her arms.

“How long has it been?” She asked herself softly as she looked back at the bangle. “You said you want to keep me safe and healthy with this bangle but if I could exchange my health for So Won’s, I rather this bangle to keep her safe and healthy.” She said as she let out a long sigh. She quickly put everything back into the wooden box when she heard someone knocked on the door. She put the box inside the drawer before she straightened herself on the seat. “Come in.”

She looked surprised when she saw Min Ho stepped into the study room. He closed the door behind him and slowly walked towards the table where his mother was sitting.

“Am I disturbing you?” Min Ho asked, his face was expressionless.

“No. I thought you sleep already. You have an early surgery to do tomorrow morning, right?” Kim Mi Kyung asked him back.

Min Ho nodded before looking at his mother. “I was actually waiting for you.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Look for me?”

“I heard from Joong Ki that you tested your blood to check whether your bone marrow is compatible with So Won or not.” He paused as he averted his gaze and cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

“I just do what I suppose to do to help my granddaughter.” Kim Mi Kyung said.

Min Ho nodded his head. “Okay then. Good night.” He turned around but before he could walk away, Kim Mi Kyung voice stopped his step.

“What are you planning to do with Shin Hye and So Won?” Kim Mi Kyung asked.

Min Ho turned his head slightly to the side without turning around. “What do you mean of that?” He asked her back.

“I talked to Shin Hye in the hospital a while ago. She told me both of you are back together.” She said.

Min Ho exhaled sharply with his hands fisted before he turned around to look at his mother. “What did you talk to her again this time? Ask her to leave me for my good sake? Threatened her with my future? Why can’t you just leave her alone, leave us alone?” He asked as he started to raise his voice.

“That’s how you think of me?” Kim Mi Kyung asked sadly.

Min Ho chuckled sarcastically. “How should I think of you? A woman that I respect so much was actually the cause of separating me from the one I love. Do you know how much it broke my heart when I know you were actually hiding so many things behind my back?” He took a deep breath before he continued again. “Because you want me to be with Chae Won, you went to school to look for Shin Hye. Talk to her, convince her to leave me. You knew she was pregnant with my baby. Because you want me to go to UK, you hide it from me.”

Kim Mi Kyung sighed deeply as she looked down. “You were only 18 years old at that time. Do you think you are matured enough to handle all those things? I have no choice. As your mother, I have to think of the best way for my own son. I just want to give you the best.”

Min Ho walked towards the study table and stopped in front of his mother. His eyes were red with tears blurring his vision. “The best for me? Yes. You gave me a rich and beautiful fiancée. You gave me a successful career as a doctor but did you ever think what you have taken away from me?”

 Kim Mi Kyung looked up at her son and her heart immediately clenched in pain when she saw his tears rolling down his face.

“Hearing my daughter’s heartbeat in her mother’s womb. The feeling of my daughter kicking her mother’s stomach. The first look and the first cry when she was born to this world.  The first time she was carried by her father. The first time I feel her smooth skin, her soft little hand holding me. The first time she learned to call appa. The first time she started to crawl, to sit, to walk, to talk. All those things were all taken away from me.” He swallowed hard as he tried to steady his uneven breathing. “Is that what you mean of want to give me the best? I was not there when my daughter was suffering because of the disease we inherited to her. I was not there when that woman who love me so much, who willing to sacrifice everything for me, suffering alone to take care of my daughter. Is that what you want for me? Being a useless, irresponsible man? This is what a mother should teach her son?”

He sniffed and wiped away his tears. He looked straight into his mother’s eyes. “I love my daughter as much as you claimed to love me too but I won’t do the same thing like what you did to me. I won’t control her life and force her to be someone I want her to be because I just want my kid to be happy. To be a successful doctor or just a normal office clerk, as long as she is happy, nothing matters. I just want her to find someone who really loves her to be her husband in the future. Not someone that suits her background or her status. That’s the way I love and care for my kid.” Min Ho turned around but was stopped by his mother once again.

“I’m sorry.” Kim Mi Kyung said as she opened the drawer and took the wooden box out. She stood up of the chair and walked towards Min Ho. She stood in front of him and looked at him with a painful gaze. She caressed his arm gently as she sighed. “I’m sorry son. I didn’t know my love for you have brought you so much pains and regrets. I think you are right. It was my fault.” She looked down at the wooden box in her hand as she passed it to him. “These were things that Shin Hye left for me before she ran away last time.”

Min Ho took the box from his mother before looking at her.

“It didn’t mean any harm when I met her just now. I just want to talk to her and check on her. I’m glad she is doing well and I’m glad…” She paused before she smiled at Min Ho. “… she is with you now.”

Min Ho narrowed his eyes at her and looked disbelief. “I don’t understand.”

Kim Mi Kyung sighed deeply. “Before she ran away, I told her to give me some time, to give you some time. Let you finish your studies first, and she should continue her studies also. I’ll try to talk to your father and see how it goes. But she just ran away like that. The first few months I was looking everywhere for her but then the letter she wrote to me, she asked me not to look for her. She wants to forget everything and start a new life with So Won. So I stopped searching. I know everything that happened was so painful to her and so I don’t want to disturb her anymore.” She looked up at her son. “If I know So Won was diagnosed with thalassemia, I will bring them back to me no matter what.”

Min Ho looked down. “Everything was already a past now. It’s pointless to say anything now. I just want to make sure the same mistake would not repeat again. I don’t care who and how, I will not give up on Shin Hye and So Won.” He said firmly.

Kim Mi Kyung nodded. “What are you going to do with Chae Won? It won’t take long for your father to know about it since Chae Won already knew everything.”

“I’m going to cancel the engagement between us. I know it’s not as easy as it looks but I won’t back down. That’s the only thing I could do for them, for my family.” Min Ho said.

“I know.” Kim Mi Kyung looked up at her son with a light smile. “It’s late already. You should go to rest now.”

Min Ho nodded before he made his way to the door and walked out.

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Shin Hye turned around and let out a wide smile when she saw Min Ho came into the room. She put her index finger on her lips, signalling him to keep quiet because So Won was asleep. She stood up of the chair quietly as she walked towards him. She straightened the tag on his chest before looking up at him. “You looked so handsome in your white doctor gown.” She .

“Hmmm… you earn a big kiss for saying that.” He smiled as he leaned down and kissed on her lips softly. “How’s my daughter today?”

Shin Hye sighed as she turned to looked at So Won who sleeping peacefully on the bed. “She seems okay but a bit tired. I’m waiting for Joong Ki to come to see her. Her blood report was okay yesterday. I hope she was just frightened and that caused her to pass out.” She turned back to Min Ho. “How was your surgery?”

“Smooth and successful.” He replied. He then walked towards the bed and stopped beside So Won. He gently brushed her hair to the side with a soft smile on his face. “She looked like an angel.” He said as he took something out from his pocket.

Shin Hye’s eyes were widened slightly when she saw the bangle in his hand. That was the bangle that Kim Mi Kyung bought for So Won on her first birthday.

Min Ho put the bangle on So Won’s wrist very gently, trying not to wakes her up. He caressed her hand softly before looking at his daughter a