The guy pushed Kyungsoo harshly making his back touched the wall.

“Ah!”

Impatiently he smoothed his hands along Kyungsoo’s shoulder, grabbed his collar and kissed him forcefully on the mouth. Kyungsoo could not move. He had been on the receiving end showered by dozen lips, dozens of deep kisses intoxicating him. How could he move? The grip was too tight for him to elude, he can’t even think well; the feeling was bliss. But he can’t stay like this, they can’t.

“Jo-Jongin” Kyungsoo breathed in Jongin’s mouth trying to get out of the raging kisses. “No-not here.”

Jongin didn’t pay any attention to him; instead he continued his tongue. Kyungsoo moaned and shrugged harder, making enough force that would make him get out of Jongin’s hands; obviously his force wasn’t enough and it won’t even have any effect on him.

“S-stop!”

He kicked Jongin’s balls that would be enough to make him cry in pain. Jongin held his balls and knelt on the ground. He rolled on the floor in agony, feeling like he’s ball sack was being shocked by a thousand voltages. Enough to scream bitter words, he wanted too, but he can’t; classes were going on. They just skipped their afternoon class because they were bored listening to their fat teacher discussing literature and stuff that they don’t even care.

“Jongin I’m sor-ry but you’ve gone too far.” Kyungsoo breathes heavily. “I’m not against this but─“

Kyungsoo paused, looking at the petite girl standing at the door. Jongin's heart skipped a beat. It was freakingly too awkward for anyone to be caught in that scene.

“Tae─” Jongin spoke.

“Ahh don’t worry I didn’t see that... much. The Kissing and the umm... I mean.. Ah bye!”

She closed the door hastily. She didn’t know that it wasn’t a good timing to rest on the rooftop. If she had known that his classmate, Kim Jongin, was there with some guy ─ 'perhaps his lover?'

Then, maybe, she would have not gone there. She doesn’t like company that much, somewhat kind of a loner but not that loner without friends. She just wanted to be alone this time; she wants to rest all her stress and perhaps her heartache? The only place she can temporarily forget the heartache is to go to ‘the heaven’ which is the rooftop. Everyone likes that place, especially for the students who love cutting classes. Faculty and staff already locked it many times, hence the students are skillful enough to open it without keys.

Damn it. All I want is to rest. They could have done their business in their house or in a love hotel.

Taeyeon groaned as she rubs the back of her neck, walking down the stairs. Since the rooftop is occupied she had to find another spot for her to sleep peacefully.

• • •

As Taeyeon closed the door, Kyungoo's eyes went back to Jogin, who started to stand up on his knees.

“Kyungsoo I-I’m sorry. I─“

“Lost control? I get it. You usually say that. You’re always wild, aggressive and harsh, Jongin.” Kyungsoo paused and looked on the ground; he sighed.

“Maybe it’s just all for you, isn’t it?”

Jongin was surprised, he held Kyungsoo’s hands and smoothed it.

“Of course no─“

Before Jongin could continue, Kyungsoo brushed away his hands off him.

“It’s always like this Jongin! Is it only my body you want and not take me seriously? Do you know what it feel?" He gulped before he could continue. "It feels like you’re there but you’re really not there...”

“Wha─”

“I mean you─ are there for me, physically. But you are never there for me, emotionally and wholeheartedly... Tell me, am I just a ing toy for you?”

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo's eyes deeply. His orbs were dark and melancholic. If only Jongin could kiss those sad eyes away, if only kissing would heal all the sadness, but clearly it won’t. Now, he, himself doesn’t know what he wanted. Obviously he got hit by the questions thrown to him. Is he really sincere to Kyungsoo emotionally or physically attachment? Is it really love or just love for ? He doesn’t know; he’s confused. But either way he doesn’t want to hurt Kyungsoo’s feelings. He looked at him apologetically.

“Kyungsoo I lov─“

“─To have with you?” Kyungsoo laughs, bitterly.

“Jongin let’s end this.”

“What!?─”

“Yeah. I’m breaking up with you.” Kyungsoo made his way to the door and started opening the door knob.

“Do Kyungsoo. I love you!” Kyungsoo halted.

“Jongin, words are not a guarantee. Words can’t love the person, action does.”

Jongin just stayed in his position, watching him vanished from his sight. He felt lost, letting something dear and precious to him, escaped from his hands. He remembered his childhood memories, when his mom bought him a blue balloon and he absentmindedly let go of it; he cried. The feeling was déjàvu, but this time it's a person and not just a toy. He lets his tears flow because right now he’s feeling stupidly in pain for letting go the person who’s most dear to him.

I'm such a fool! A ing fool! He slaps himself in regret.

• • •

The sun was settling uncomfortably on her eyelashes, pulling back the lids with insistent, spiteful tugs. This was going to be another morning, another boring class to attend. The realization settled when she slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry but she’s adjusting it like a camera lens trying to focus on the view. She looked at the time and she knew she was late, again. She immediately rose from her bed and went downstairs but it was empty. She was left alone with a note magnet on the fridge.

“Taengoo, dear, I’m off to market. Don’t be late for school or else mom will ground you for life! I love you.”

Taeyeon immediately ate the food that was prepared for her. She ate eat like she was joining in a food contest; she devoured the food and she even choked. She drank water and hurriedly took a shower.

• • •

“Oh good morning miss Kim. Wow you’re so early for the next class.” Her teacher sarcastically announced it in the class. Taeyeon smirked and stepped inside the classroom, apologetically bowed her teacher.

“Ok. That’s enough for now. Goodbye class.” The students stood up and bowed.

“Miss Kim, we need to talk.” Taeyeon bit her tongue, she knew she was in trouble. She put her bag on the top of her desk and went outside of their classroom, where her teacher was waiting.

“Miss Kim, is there anything wrong with school, friends or family?”

“Sir?” Her brows frowned.

“I mean, I know you’re really not like that, I see you do well in class; you’re a bright student after all. Usually you’re not absent from classes or be late most of the time. But now... I don't know what's wrong with you─“ Her teacher looked at her directly in the eyes. “Is there something troubling you, Miss Kim?”

Taeyeon knew there was something wrong with her. She’s really not motivated to go to school, especially seeing the person who she hates most but also loves the most. She's going crazy for that person to the point she already got -hurt most of the time.

“Nothing’s wrong.” She shrugged.

“I’ll take that as a ‘YES there is', but please don’t be late all the time, Miss Kim?” Taeyeon nodded.

“You can go back to your class now.”

“Thank you, sir.”

• • •

Taeyeon pulled her chair getting her bag off the desk and hanged it on the hook at right side of it. She sat down on her seat and leaned on the desk; making a heavy sigh.

“Ya! Taetae!” The girl shouted making her way to Taeyeon’s. The familiar voice echoed inside her ears. She didn’t even have to lift her head to know who it was.

“I already told you not to be late in class! I’ll tell your mom that you’re late again!”

Her voice is quite fierce. Taeyeon finds it pretty in the sense that she hears her voice like a music's melody. She sat down properly and eyed her bestfriend.

“Please don’t.” She frowned her eye brows.

“Nah-uh! I’ll definitely tell her about it.” She stuck her tongue out.

“Whatever.” Taeyeon said nonchalantly as she went back to her napping position. The girl leaned on her back and hugged her. It made the hair on her neck rise.

“Taetae, I warned you. Don’t─be─late─again.” She whispered in her ears, word by word, in a soft and sweet tone. Breathing is naturally installed in our system, essential for us to naturally inhale oxygen; as for Taeyeon, she forgot that it was supposed to be an involuntary movement for human beings.

“Okay. Okay, Tiffany. I get it. Please stop that.” Taeyeon gave up easily. She shove her, she can’t handle this. She can’t handle her bestfriend’s closure.

Tiffany chuckled. “Aish~ this kid!”

“Watch it! I’m older than you.”

“Yeah right, by four months.” Tiffany gave her a derp face.

“Hahaha! What the─ Is that even a face?! You looked like a clown fish!”

“I’m pretty! Boys want me!” Tiffany boasted.

“Yeah right~ Your ex-boyfriends who didn’t even reached three months─” Taeyeon groaned.

“Excuse me I’m just choosy─”

“If you’re choosy, you shouldn’t have dated them or have slept with them at the first place.”

Taeyeon’s words has slapped Tiffany. She didn’t even spoke another word. She shook her head and walked out.

Wow Kim ing Taeyeon you just too awesome! You just hurt your bestfriend’s feelings. Nice one Taeyeon! Nice one!

She thought while looking at her bestfriend went back to her seat.Taeyeon regrets the words slipped on her tongue without thinking first. She didn’t want to hurt her bestfriend. She loves her so much to the point of loving what she hates about her. She loves her flaws more than she loves the good things about her. That is the unique kind of love, Kim Taeyeon has for her bestfriend. But then again, her story is the same with others; unrequited love. Most people think it is romantic and it makes your heart flutter, well them, it’s not. It will only tear the hole in your chest fresh open, getting your heart ripped apart, feeling double tapped. Taeyeon rose from her seat and went out of the classroom before the bell had rung.

• • •

“Hey.“

“Oh hey.” Taeyeon looked at him in question. “You know smoking isn’t allowed here, right?” She covered her nose with her hankie as the smoke spreads into the air, she coughed.

“Oh sorry.” Jongin sensed that Taeyeon hates smoke so he stopped it and stepped on his cigar, smudging it on his left foot.

“Good.” Taeyeon went to the edge and lied on the floor; covering her face with her hankie. The silence grew, only the rustle of the wind can be heard. Jongin sat next to Taeyeon and rested his back on the wall.

“Last week, umm..” He cleared his throat.

“No need to worry.” Taeyeon asnwered.

“Yeah, like you convinced me that you will not gossip it.” Jongin looked at Taeyeon who was lying on the ground.

“I won’t.”

“Why not, it’s a hot gossip. Two guys kissing─”

“So?”

“It’s a big deal!”

“Not really.”

“How can you say so?”

“We’re in the same boat”

“Huh?”

“Are you still on Pentium 1, Windows 98?”

“What?”

Taeyeon was annoyed of Jongin's snail-brain; she removed the hankie on her face and glared at him. “I'm making a simple explanation that your brain can catch up. You like boys, I like girls. The end.” It surprised Jongin, he gave Taeyeon a confused look.

“But you don’t dress or cut your hair like a tomboy.“

“Then why didn’t you dress up like a girl and grow your hair?” Taeyeon answered back.

“Because I don’t like cross dressing and I like what I am.”

“Then we’re the same.” Taeyeon snorted.

“Tell me Taeyeon, why do you often go here?”

Taeyeon is in pain. She felt the weigh on her heart remembering what she had told Tiffany. Taeyeon, and her tactless mouth. She thought if she was on Tiffany’s foot she would feel the same, she would be hurt by those words. She really regretted what she said ─ a lot! She wanted to turn back time and take back what she said. But no, this isn’t science fiction. If there was actually a time machine, the Nazis would not probably share that technology. Is there even a time machine invented? She thought.

“In pain.”

“Likewise”

“At least he knows”

“Yea─ Eh? Your girl doesn’t know?”

“Bestfriend.”

“That’s─“

“Yeah, common story, one-sided love. Blah blah blah~”

“No. I mean you could have, confess?”

“Yeah right, as if I didn’t.”

Jongin raised his head; sighing. He closed his eyes and inhales for air. He’s also in pain like Taeyeon. They totally understand each other. Taeyeon was right, they are in the same boat but different story though. People can’t have the same story and experience. We are bound to be unique and to be different from one another; we are humans to be exact. Jongin drew his cigar and lighter on his pocket.

“Try lighting that and I’ll kick you off here without using the stairs.” Jongin didn’t continue to light it and obediently obeyed Taeyeon.

“Seriously I hate guys smoking.”

“You don’t even like guys to begin with.” Jongin laughs.

“Shut up~” Taeyeon covered her face with her hankie again and folded her arms. ”Jongin wake me up when it’s dismissal time.”

“Ok, will do.” He raised his head and looked at the clear blue sky.