IMPORTANT: I've updated a lot in the past day, so make sure you go back and read my previous updates! :)

Jongin’s thoughts are wholly consumed by Mirae for the next week.

    He’s tried everything: he’s dropped his dad off at his therapist’s in the hopes of seeing Mirae (he saw her, alright, but she just looked even more pissed at him), he stayed in Mirae’s favorite cafe for 6 hours in the hopes of meeting her (yes, they met, but she walked out the moment she saw him), and he even tried meeting her outside her school (that ended very badly).

    Now he is lying facedown on his sofa, unwilling to move. His phone buzzes with a text, and he lazily checks the screen.

    Haera: Hot tub party at my house. You in? ;)

    “Ugh,” Jongin groans, flinging his phone away. This is ridiculous! How did a girl who he considered a bother only a few days ago suddenly turn into the sole subject of his thoughts? He's dismissing everyone else! But tt isn’t just about the fact that Jongin has to apologize to her, and then thank her.... no, he feels uneasy for a deeper reason...

    He quickly sits up. Does he miss her?

    “No way,” he breathes, rapidly shaking his head. “Why would I miss her? She’s- she’s Hwang Mirae! I don’t even like her!”

    But the unsettling feeling creeping up over him confirms his thoughts. Jongin facepalms.

    “What is wrong with me?” he yells.

    “There’s a long list,” Jaesun laughs jokingly, ambling into the room. “What’s going on, Jongin?”

    “Nothing,” he croaks.

    “Tell me.” Jaesun sits down next to his son. “Let’s have a FTST.”

    “A what?”

    “FTST. It stands for Father to Son Talk. I made it up right now. Pretty rad, huh?”

    “Dad, just stop,” Jongin groans, launching a pillow at his father. “That was painful to hear.”

    “Fine, fine. But seriously, tell me. You’ve been gloomy for days. Is there something bothering you?”

    Jongin is silent for a while. He studies the palms of his hands, trying to figure out how to start. Finally, he tells his dad, “I made someone important really mad, and I want to say sorry to her. But she’s completely avoiding me. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all. And it’s like our roles are reversed, because I’ve spent all this time ignoring her while she was trying to help me, and now I’m the one chasing after her.”

    “Wow.” Jaesun blinks. “Just out of curiosity, is this a girl from school?”

    Jongin shakes his head. “Actually... it’s... Mirae.”

    “Mirae?” Jaesun blinks. “But you two have met only once, at the garden party. How have you gotten into a fight?”

    Jongin sighs, collapsing back onto the sofa. “Actually, that wasn’t the first time we met. You see, Mirae and I knew each other before...,”

    And he launches into the story of how he met Mirae: the basketball game, the tutoring feud, her breakdown at the cafe, her attempts at discussing his relationship with Jaesun.

    The way he cruelly shunned her during every incident.

    Finally, the way he accidentally almost revealed her secret to Suyeon, causing her to finally stop trying to assist him. To finally give up.

    To finally hate him.

    “Well, then,” Jaesun exhales slowly. “That’s... wow. To be honest, I did sense some tension between you two at the garden party. But I thought I was just being paranoid.”

    “No, you were right. We were pretty tense during that party. It was when she found out that you were my father.”

    “I see.”

    “So how should I do this?” Jongin questions desperately. “How am I supposed to make it all up to her?”

Jaesun ponders the question. “You need to make it clear that you’re being genuine. Perhaps you could do something for her birthday? It’s next week, I believe. I’m invited to her party.”

She invites my dad but doesn’t invite me, Jongin scowls. How weird is that?

“Okay, I’ll get her an awesome birthday present,” Jongin muses, but then shakes his head. “No, that’s too easy. I need to do something special...,”

He sinks back, rubbing his chin. What does Mirae like? What would she appreciate?

Suddenly, it hits him like a lightning bolt. “I got it!” he exclaims. Jongin immediately jumps up and tears out of the living room. On his way out, he hollers, “Thanks, Dad!”

Jongin has finally stopped stalking Mirae. She is relieved. He was getting incredibly annoying.

    Currently, Mirae is focused on her birthday, which is the next Saturday. Suyeon is holding a huge birthday party for her at the pretty arboretum downtown. “It’s your 17th birthday!” Suyeon had squealed. “We’re gonna make it huge, okay?”

    Mirae had beamed widely and squeezed the life out of her best friend. But inside, she just feels dull. Lately, everything has ceased to excite her. She goes through her day listlessly.

It is getting harder and harder for Mirae to stay upbeat all the time.

    Suyeon is noticing a change in Mirae.

    Her best friend is a lot more serious now. She isn't going on cake binges. She isn't enthusiastic about tutoring or school anymore.

    Suyeon is worried. Worried enough to call Sehun and cancel their plans for Friday night.

    “I’m really sorry,” she apologizes. “I was looking forward to that movie, but I’m just really worried about Mirae. She seems totally out of it. I’m going to take her out.”

“That’s fine,” Sehun tells her. “Next week, then?”

“Sounds good.”

“Don’t miss me too much.”

Suyeon rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “That won’t be too hard.”

“Ouch. That hurts. Can you kiss it and make it feel all better?”

Her face reddens. “You’re hopeless,” she laughs, and hangs up.

“Mirae!” Suyeon bear hugs her friend. “Ready to go have some fun?”

She smiles blandly. “Definitely.”

They take the bus to Songi Park, which has been decorated with bright Christmas lights already. Red and purple and pink trees glow against the inky black night. Passerby stroll through the park, admiring the colorful blowup snowmen and Santa Clauses, and the rows of stalls selling handmade bracelets, embellished trinkets, and scented candles. A chilly wind blows through the girls’ hair.

“It’s so pretty,” Suyeon breathes, but all Mirae can see are the orange and green ornaments everywhere, and the uneven clusters of fir trees, and the way nothing seems to line up and all the disgusting elements of this place seem to coalesce and fill the park up with their repulsive presence, choking her and making her feel trapped, completely trapped-

    “I have to go,” Mirae whimpers, and tears off, blindly running away from Suyeon as quickly as she can. She finds a clump of bushes, far, far away from everyone, from all the people, and throws herself behind them, chest heaving, flailing around in her purse for her medication, and then finally swallowing the small pill that holds so much power over her life.

A minute passes. Mirae’s heartbeat finally goes down.

She takes a deep breath in. A deep breath out.

She rolls on her back and looks up and the stars.

    Mirae feels tears slide down her cheeks. She wipes them away.

They come faster. She rubs at her eyes. She does not have the energy to tell herself to stop crying.

    Every inch of Mirae’s body is consumed with self-loathing.

    She hates herself. She hates this disorder. She hates her life. She hates everything.

    The sound of laughing children echoes in the distance.

“I want it all to stop,” she whispers aloud into the darkness.

Later that night, after Suyeon has found Mirae after hours of panicked searching, Mirae does not say a word to her. She sits through Suyeon’s yelling, merely staring ahead when her best friend screams at her about how worried she was. And when the question finally comes up, Mirae realizes that it is inevitable.

“What is going on, Mirae?!” Suyeon demands. “Something’s wrong, and you aren’t telling me what it is! Stop hiding it from me!”

“I have OCD,” Mirae responds flatly, and the final barrier between the two crumbles down.