As if they’re in a fairytale and everything chaotic has passed, the moment Jongin’s lips touches the unconscious CEO’s lips, Kyungsoo’s eyelids slowly flutter open and he feels oddly at peace. Although his throat is parched and in desperate need of water, and his heart heavy with remorse, the very moment his vision clears up and he sees the idol’s face, Kyungsoo temporarily forgets all of his troubles and savors this moment in quietly. He feels it, those soft pair of lips against his slightly chapped ones; he feels it so much that it almost brings him to tears knowing that this very man is patiently waiting for an answer without hesitation.

Kim Jongin, why are you so good to me?

Do Kyungsoo wants an answer, but most importantly, he desperately wants to yell his feelings out to this man in front of him. He despises himself for putting Jongin in the dark for so long, and no matter what situation he puts the man through, Jongin will always take up the challenge without complaint. But his past, his painful and dark past is the barrier that separates him from these blossoming feelings. Kyungsoo’s hurt so many people in his past, gave them pain and eternal damage, and he’s afraid, afraid that if he lets Jongin into his heart for real, he’ll end up hurting him too.

Without notice, tears are already escaping his doe eyes.

Bringing up a trembling hand, Kyungsoo carefully runs it through Jongin’s newly dyed raven hair and chuckles softly when the idol widens his eyes in surprise and almost pulls back. Before Jongin can even say anything, the CEO beats him to it with his raspy voice. “You dyed your hair again…”

“I did,” Jongin relaxes and leans into the CEO’s touch. “Do you like it?”

“Very,” Kyungsoo nods weakly.

The idol gasps softly and carefully removes Kyungsoo’s hand from his raven locks. “You’re probably very thirsty right now; let me get you water.” He reaches out for the pitcher on the nightstand and pours the man a glass of water. When he returns his gaze onto the CEO, he furrows his eyebrows at how the man isn’t staring at him but rather at the small jar of folded stars. Jongin places the glass down and helps the man sit up slowly, only then does he notice he trail of dried tears on his face. His heart breaks at the sight of this, and he promises himself to never make Kyungsoo cry. “Junmyeon came by and left that.”

Kyungsoo slowly nods his head, and winces soon after as another piece of memory attacks him.

Junmyeon appears by the doorframe, hands behind his back as he smiles brightly at the ill teenager lying on the bed. “Thought I would drop by to see how you’re doing.” He receives a sneeze as a reply and chuckles in amusement at the glare Kyungsoo gives him. “Alright, alright, don’t glare at me.” Junmyeon approaches the bedside and shows the sick teenager a glass jar full of folded paper stars. “I made these for you, so you need to get better soon.”

“Are you okay?” Jongin quickly rushes to his side.

The CEO laughs quietly at how his slightest reactions can cause the idol to become the fastest man in the world. “I’m okay; thank you Jongin.” He then takes in his surrounding and frowns, “Why am I at the hospital? Did I…?” Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows and tries to recall what happened before he lost conscious. Upon recalling the memories, his faint smile turns into a frown.

“Baekhyun called me and said that you fainted.” The idol explains. “I was supposed to have a commercial shoot after recording for a show, but I didn’t go because I heard you were in the hospital.” He lowers his head, cheeks beginning to display a tint of pink out of embarrassment. Kai, Asia’s number one celebrity, would never abandon his work no matter what, but a certain CEO has broken this habit of his now. “You tell me not to care for you, but I’m in too deep now…”

Do Kyungsoo thinks back to the day of Jongin’s comeback showcase, before everything went downhill, and realizes that if Junmyeon never showed up, if he hadn’t arrived late and missed everything, things would’ve taken a different turn. Of course, he knows the problem with Junmyeon’s mother is inevitable, but the problem between Jongin and him would’ve turned out differently by now. He vividly remembers his decision back then, and holds back an incoming sob because he doesn’t deserve Jongin’s love. Kyungsoo doesn’t think he deserves someone as loyal and patient as Jongin.

Kim Jongin deserves better than this.

He deserves so much more than just Kyungsoo’s silent love.

That day, he had planned to give the idol a definite answer.

“It’s okay if I move on for a while, right?”

Kyungsoo vividly remembers looking at their photos that were taken at Jeju and telling himself yes, he’ll move on from his past for the moment and that yes, he wants to be with the stupid idol. Trusting Baekhyun’s advice, he was going to give himself another chance, another love, but then Junmyeon showed up and he realized that his past was unavoidable. While he was stuck in the past, he left his present walking on thin ice.

Kim Jongin isn’t the stupid one in this relationship, Do Kyungsoo is.

He’s stupid for becoming so blind, so caught up with his past that he left Jongin, his present, in the dark with so many unanswered questions. Does he really deserve this man’s love? Kyungsoo doesn’t know any longer, but if Jongin can still love him through everything he’s put him in, maybe, just maybe there’s still a slim chance.

Yet, Kyungsoo is afraid to ask for love.

He’s frightened that he’ll ruin everything and harm Jongin in the end.

He doesn’t want this, doesn’t want Jongin to get hurt because of him and his foolish decisions. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to pull the idol into this chaotic mess; he doesn’t want the idol to suffer like he does.

Because Do Kyungsoo loves Kim Jongin very much, he doesn’t want the man to suffer.

How ironic, he thinks to himself. He loves Jongin and doesn’t want to hurt him, but his actions so far are hurting the man way worse than he intended. By stalling and avoiding Jongin’s love, he has put the two of them into a difficult situation. Kyungsoo wants to apologize so badly for hurting Jongin’s love, for hurting something so pure and sweet.

And without realizing his own actions, Kyungsoo is already reaching out for Jongin this very instant. He grabs a hold of the man’s wrist and lowers his head in shame as more guilt begins to consume his already heavy soul. The CEO figures that he can’t go on anymore like this, pretending that Jongin’s love will only last for a mere moment, because the look Jongin gives him right now is full of warmth…care…love. Despite it being very difficult for him to go back to his previous mindset before Junmyeon showed up, the CEO is willing to give it a try once more.

If he, one day, perhaps, loses Enchantment, Jongin will stay with him.

Kyungsoo now realizes that Enchantment is no longer his home, but Jongin is.

He realizes that the days when he comes home to a tired idol sprawled out on the couch is the funniest and sweetest thing ever. He realizes that the days when he wakes up with Jongin by his side is the most reassuring, most comforting days he can have. He realizes that the days when Jongin is away for work are the days he feels the loneliest. Without Jongin around, without his stupid antics happening every minute, Kyungsoo will feel empty.

He’s already put himself through so much, is it really worth it to throw away this chance?

This chance at another shot for happiness, for Kyungsoo’s true happiness.

“When you fall in love, don’t hold back.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll find true happiness in the end.”

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t deserve…”

“You’ve suffered enough already. I want you to be happy, Kyungsoo.”

These were Junmyeon’s exact words before he left for the States with his mother. He wished for Kyungsoo to find true happiness; he wanted his best friend to find true love. But Kyungsoo is a coward, a ing coward who thinks he doesn’t deserve anyone’s love after everything that he did in the past.

His whole being was an accident.

His parents only stayed together because of him.

Kyungsoo caused them to be miserable.

After giving birth to him, his poor mother fell into depression and his father would stay at the company every way possible. The two of them only stayed together because of him, Do Kyungsoo, their accidental child. When he wasn’t in sight, they would always argue. Despite him being a small child then, he still remembers the sadness in his mother’s voice, her cries, and her pained smile whenever she saw him even to this day. He still remembers his father’s forced laughter, hesitant gaze, and roaring voice. If it wasn’t for him, maybe his parents would still be alive now and living their separate lives happily. Kyungsoo blames himself for causing their misery and eventually, their death.

Their cause of death was from a fire, but Kyungsoo knows better.

He knew - he ing knew how depressed his mother was and how distant his father was.

Yet, there he was, being an ungrateful brat from the very beginning and wishing for everything to stop, for their anger to stop, for them to stop yelling at each other, for them to just…disappear. He was scared, abandoned, hurt… Why weren’t his parents normal? Why did they have to be angry at one another? Kyungsoo didn’t understand - understand that their marriage was only arranged for business purposes and that they wed not because of love, but because of their responsibility – him. But when he finally grasped the situation, everything was too late. His mother’s depression worsened, and she committed suicide that day. She was the one who lit their vacation house on fire, and Kyungsoo was only saved because his father brought him out in time before he went back inside to search for his mother.

In a way, Kyungsoo believes he is the sole cause of their misery.

And he despises himself so much.

They loved him with all their hearts, but he led them to their end.

And with Junmyeon’s case, the CEO isn’t sure if he’s able to handle more pain fro