A young boy sits in the far corner of the room, hands pressed tightly against his ears and legs brought close to his chest. Like the morning dew that hangs ever so delicately to the soft petals of a blooming flower, his long lashes holds onto the droplets of tears threatening to fall as he squeezes his eyes together. The terrified young boy, despite wanting to shut the world out, continues to hear the screams from downstairs. With trembling lips, he unleashes a loud sob.

“I hate them; I hate them; I hate them!”

He continues to sob as a housemaid quickly rushes in. “Oh dear, come here.” She whispers quietly, feeling pity for the young child as she brings him into her arms. “Everything will be okay, dear.”

From downstairs, a frustrated man points an accusing finger at the woman in front of him. Seconds later, she argues back right before grabbing a nearby vase and throwing it toward his direction.

The young child continues to tremble in fright – why did they leave him alone?

– Sadness – why can’t they stop shouting?

– Hatred – why can’t they…disappear..?

The housemaid gently pats his back, “Dear, everything will pass. My dear—”

“—Kyungsoo?”

The CEO slightly jerks in his seat, eyelids rapidly opening and closing as he tries to regain his breath. When did he forget how to breathe? He clenches his right hand into a fist under the table, gaze going everywhere rather than focusing on the man – the familiar man – in front of him. His heart is beating at a tremendous rate; any faster now and he believes it’ll stop working. Kyungsoo quickly shifts his eyes around the coffee shop, trying his best to burry the nervous feeling within him. “I – I’m okay.”

Junmyeon frowns at the statement, “Are you sure? You look awfully—”

“I’m sure.” Kyungsoo forces out his words. He then takes a sip of the freshly brewed coffee and finds reassurance in the bitter taste. “When did you get back?”

“About four days ago. I had a fan signing event at your mall today, didn’t you know?”

“I – I…” the CEO becomes speechless for a while, completely perplexed by this sudden wave of information. He furrows his brows and presses his lips together in a thin line – how?  Kyungsoo doesn’t remember any piece of documents relating to Author Kim Junmyeon's case. Yet, how come the man is speaking of it so lightly and freely? He never once approved of anything, and Baekhyun—.

Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo releases a weary sigh and remembers his assistant’s exact words.

“Are you willing to let go of your past and take the chance before it’s too late?”

This isn’t what he wanted; he didn’t need all of this care; he didn’t deserve it.

“No wonder Yixing avoided my question when I asked about you.” Junmyeon’s gaze softens in realization once he observes the man’s reaction. He momentarily gazes down, one of his hands clutching the armrest of his wheelchair. The author closes his eyes and forces the surfacing guilt in his heart to subside in this moment with his childhood friend. Junmyeon then quietly clears his throat and decides to start a new conversation.

“How have you been…Kyungsoo?”

The way his name rolls off of Junmyeon’s tongue so soothingly sends a small shiver down his spine. Kyungsoo notices that his breath hitches softly before he manages to put on his guard again. “Quite well, I assume.” He lowers his head a little, letting his long eyelashes cast a shadow under his eyes. “What about you, Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon.

The name feels so distant yet awfully close to home.

Kyungsoo has long forgotten how heavy the name feels on his tongue, and almost immediately, a surprisingly bittersweet taste follows. His heart is doing just as bad as his conflicted mind. Heartbeat uneven, mind a mess – how is he even supposed to function now? – Especially in front of Kim Junmyeon.

“I’ve managed well these past ten years.” The author chuckles lightly at the confession, finding it quite amusing how time passes by so quickly yet there are still things that can’t seem to fade with it.

The CEO nods his head, “That’s good news.”

“I missed you.”

Kyungsoo’s grasp on the handle of the cup almost loosens, and the now warm coffee gently splashes around inside. He forces himself to swallow dryly, yet his throat feels as if it’s being strangled – constricted of air and words. It’s as if he’s being strangled with no evidence left behind. A crime well done; a crime that will always make him terrified whenever he reminisces. Grasping onto the material of his dress pants, Kyungsoo bites his inner cheek and regains control over his shocked state. “Your books are bestsellers now, aren’t you proud? You always wanted to become a writer, Junmyeon.”

“What do you want to be when you get older?” a young boy in his teen questions his friend one day during their study session. Although it’s a pointless question to ask because of their roles in their families’ businesses, he still wants to know.

“Hm...I was thinking about becoming a writer.” His friend answers with a charming smile, but he notices that somewhere in that smile, there is a hint of sadness. He wants to question why, but the young boy decides to go against his curiosity and moves along with the conversation.

“Why?”

“…Because I can voice out my loneliest and deepest thoughts without hesitation.”

Author Kim nods his head in agreement, his calming smile never once fading, yet it seems as if the sparkle in his eyes has died down a bit. “Dreams do come true, I suppose.” Seeing how quiet and hesitating the CEO in front of him is, Junmyeon frowns. “You’ve changed so much. What happened to the boy who used to fold paper stars with me?”

“We…grow up from our childhood.” Kyungsoo bitterly replies.

“Those were good times, weren’t they?”

“Of course – good times…”

Junmyeon goes on to talk about their childhood silliness, but all Kyungsoo can focus on is the outline of the author’s wheelchair. Everything about this man (it was only ten years ago when they weren’t adults) is still the same as Kyungsoo recalls – from his warm chocolate eyes, to his charming smile and gentle voice. Junmyeon has, indeed, become insanely handsome over the past decade, no doubt. Yet, every time the CEO takes in the view of the wheelchair the author’s in, he can’t help but to double the blame on himself.

If that day never happened, if only he had stopped Junmyeon, if only he never caused—

“You’re spacing out again, Kyungsoo.” The warmth of Junmyeon’s voice brings him back to reality. CEO Do widens his eyes and softly apologizes. Author Kim laughs at his act and takes another sip of his coffee. “Don’t apologize. You hate it when others apologize, so you shouldn’t so carelessly either.”

“You mean you’re the one—” the CEO stops himself immediately and shakes his head.

“Mom,” Junmyeon suddenly brings up a different topic. “You know she didn’t mean to say any of those words.” His heart aches at the sight of Kyungsoo tensing up.

“Auntie, she’s doing fine, I suppose?”

“Time healed her quite well.” Junmyeon responds with a sigh.

But did it heal you?

“That’s good to hear.” Kyungsoo whispers as a clear image of a woman crying her heart out, screaming at him out of anger and pain, mourns over her son’s injury. He immediately shuts his eyes together as tightly as possible, head lowering, as he does his best to block the unwanted memories out.

“You ruined my son! How could you?!” The woman screams at him, her cries getting louder and louder as tears roll down her pale cheeks. “Was ruining your own family not good enough for you?!”

“Mother, stop!” the young teenager who has been observing the whole scene shouts out, finally revealing himself from the shadows.

Kyungsoo looks up to find Junmyeon staring at the two of them with a heartbroken gaze.

The woman takes one look at her son and breaks down, her knees meeting the wooden floor.

Author Kim grimaces at his careless words and reaches out for Kyungsoo’s hand at once, only he never gets to reach out for it in time. Kyungsoo quickly composes himself and shakes his head again. He clears his throat with a fake cough, “I’m sorry. Work is getting to me these days.” The CEO flashes a strained, tight-lipped smile.

“You should rest more often then.” Junmyeon decides to go along with the little play, despite knowing all too well that this is a lie Kyungsoo is creating.

“I’ll try.” The CEO says. “If it’s possible, I’d love to meet auntie.”

“Sure.” Author Kim notices the bouquet of flowers sitting on the side of the table and grins. “Those are beautiful flowers, Kyungsoo. Did you – did you ever received mine? It was a congratulatory gift for getting yourself into a romantic situation. I felt sorry for not being there to witness your happiness, but those flowers did cheer you up, right?” There’s a hint of hope in his gentle voice, a small smile resting on his handsome face.

Acacia stands for secret love, azalea means to take care of yourself for me, and chamomile symbolizes patience and attracts wealth.

Congratulations.

Do you still remember me?

K.J.

“Junmyeon, you didn’t have to—”

“Those flowers were your favorite.” The author chuckles fondly. “I hope you’re happy with him; his name – it’s…Kai, right?”

Right at the mention of Kim Jongin, Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in realization and shock. Junmyeon’s voice falls deaf to his ears as he scrambles to retrieve his phone from the pocket inside his suit jacket to check the time. His already broken heart drops at the sight of the time and all he can think of is Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin –

“My