Pretty soon, the only thing Dongwoo ever did was go to work, eat lunch with Howon, go home- or if Sunggyu was home, go out with either Howon or Sungyeol and Myungsoo-, and sleep. And Dongwoo didn’t mind a single part of it. Oddly enough, Dongwoo was starting to feel as if he was single again. Except, it wasn’t all that odd. He was distancing himself from Sunggyu and if it weren’t for the little texts he sent to Sunggyu now and then, he would probably fall back into his bachelor ways.

Which led to Dongwoo not declining when Woohyun invited him out to a new club that he’d just opened down the road. Woohyun owned a bunch of clubs and retail stores, being head of a major management company and all. Dongwoo agreed but Howon only let him go if the younger could tag along. Of course, Dongwoo agreed. 

It was after Howon’s Sunday’s class when the two of them were in Dongwoo’s apartment, dressing up a little. Dongwoo took a quick shower and changed into his normal clothes, a thin off- white tank top and a colourful sweatshirt over it but the skin- tight black pants he accompanied with it were anything but his normal. Howon didn’t make a single comment about it. 

When they’d arrived at the club, Howon took one look at the desolated look of the building, the lights that ghosted around the tinted windows and guided the two of them out of there. 

Again, they found themselves at the dessert house. Dongwoo laughed as he ordered, knowing that Woohyun would complain about their absence tomorrow. Even though he was dressed for it, Dongwoo didn’t really like the idea of going clubbing anyways. The music would be over- mixed and most of the people there were amateur dancers who were too proud to get better. Howon agreed.

“But you’re still young, Howon. And single! You should have gone ahead and have some fun for once. Come to think of it, you’re always hanging out with me, no wonder you haven’t been in a relationship for god knows how long. Because you’re always hanging out with old fogies like me.”

Dongwoo had laughed loudly, and Howon had simply smiled. That’s right, Dongwoo was still married to Sunggyu. It didn’t seem like it anymore. And Sunggyu hadn’t done a single thing about it either, except once in a while, his missed calls would jump up in quantity. 

“I’m not that much younger than you, geez. Stop passing yourself off as if you’re half a century old already! I’m only one or two years younger than you. Besides, that’s not why I’m not in a relationship.”

Picking up the fork on the table, Dongwoo twirled it around with his fingers before he let it clatter back onto the wooden tabletop. He leaned forward and Howon followed suit.

“I think I should stop avoiding Sunggyu, already.”

Howon took in a deep breath and let it out quickly.

“Well, it’s your decision.”

There were a hundred more words Howon kept locked up in his mouth, his lips were pursed shut and his mind was almost hurting with the amount of unfinished sentences bouncing around. But he just stayed quiet, watching Dongwoo continue fiddling with the fork, knowing that Dongwoo was still unsure about everything. 

Howon let Dongwoo eat his food without any interruptions. He didn’t want to say a single thing, he knew Dongwoo was thinking hard. 

And of course, Howon was right. Dongwoo just wasn’t sure what to do. He had thought about calling his mother and asking for her opinion but he hadn’t even told her about what’s been happening with Sunggyu in the first place. She would probably just get really upset and not even listen to Dongwoo. The other day, when Dongwoo was dressing for work, he realised that Sunggyu hadn’t slept in their apartment for well over a month. And everything didn’t even smell like his cologne anymore. Now, everything just smelled like Dongwoo’s soap or the scented candles he lit. 

The apartment didn’t feel like theirs. It felt like Dongwoo’s alone. And then his phone had jolted him out of his little reverie and he realised, with a sinking feeling, that he had pretty much turned single. But the wedding band on his ring finger made him clench his hand into a fist. He still loved Sunggyu. Or, well, the person he married. It was probably about time he tried again.

Which was what led to Dongwoo asking for Howon’s opinion. He thought it would help solidify his decision, but Howon had simply given him a neutral answer. 

After Howon had left, Dongwoo had changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed, taking his phone with him. For the past few weeks, he had been leaving it on the coffee table, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear the rings and therefore not be woken up when Sunggyu called. But tonight he left the phone on Sunggyu’s side of the bed. He stayed awake until just before 12, then his phone rang. 

For the first time in a long time, Dongwoo answered the call.

“Hey, Gyu.”

“Dongwoo… Hi. I’ve missed you.”

Hearing Sunggyu’s voice on the other side, not angry but soft and exactly like how he remembered, made Dongwoo smile.

“Gyu, I’ve missed you too.”

And just like that, it was like a switch was flipped. Dongwoo began to talk about all that happened since he stopped talking to Sunggyu. But he avoided any topics about Howon or anything about Woohyun’s flirting. Of course he didn’t like how he had to inch around the things that affected his life so much, but he didn’t mind, as long as he could finally have a nice conversation with Sunggyu. Who in return told him a little about the latest crisis and how much his neck hurt from sleeping on his office couch night after night.

Their conversation was longer than their- before the fight- usual 15 minutes. The call finally ended when it was almost 2, and Dongwoo stretched a little before he went to sleep with a smile on his face. Just before he slept, he thought about how only Sunggyu could leave him with a smile on his face.

Dongwoo had genuinely missed Sunggyu, he missed how his arms would circle around Dongwoo’s waist and pull him flush against the older’s body. He missed listening to his voice and kissing his soft lips. He just hadn’t realised it until Sunggyu came home last weekend and without a single thought of their fight, their first destination was to the bedroom.

But Dongwoo still spent more time with Howon than with Sunggyu. After , Dongwoo had decided to clear it all up. They were lying next to each other and Dongwoo was acting as the small spoon. 

“Gyu, we should talk about this whole thing.”

“Okay. Let’s talk.”

Dongwoo shifted to face Sunggyu, his face perfectly serious.

“First things first, you don’t need to worry about Howon at all. He isn’t interested in me and I’m not interested in him. Besides, I have you and you know I love you and Howon is the type to respect that. Next, I know you have a busy schedule but when you get paranoid after listening to your office’s gossip, all you have to do is call me and be reassured, you don’t have to shout at me, okay?”

Sunggyu took both of Dongwoo’s hands and held them tightly as he pressed his lips against them.

“Okay. I’m so sorry about how I acted, baby. You know I love you too. And it’s no excuse but I was just so stressed out by work and every time I took a break to eat or rest there’d be some staff members talking about how happy they are in their married lives or with some new person. And of course, I’d think of you, baby. But then I would hear whispers once I’d closed the door, about them seeing you in Hongdae with Howon and stuff. And I just got so worried and angry at myself for never having time for you and I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

Dongwoo pulled his hands away and instead pulled Sunggyu’s face closer, giving him a heavy kiss on the lips. The kiss got deeper… and there goes round two. 

And in this somewhat unstable fashion, their relationship started up again. Dongwoo didn’t really mind. After all, he still had Howon and all his other friends to hang out with. He just liked hanging out with Howon more, not that he would ever tell Sunggyu that. But whenever Dongwoo was just teaching a class, or washing up the dishes, and he noticed his wedding band, he just felt so glad to have Sunggyu in his life. So glad that he had met and fallen in love with the man.

But they did have their little ups and downs. Of course, there were days when their schedules would clash. Back then, Dongwoo used to have his schedule open for whatever free time Sunggyu could snag from his work. But these days, Dongwoo didn’t mind booking up his time with coffee dates- where he learned to make coffee- with Sungyeol, or mediating an amateur dance competition with Howon, or property shopping with Woohyun, or even posing as a model for Myungsoo’s photos. 

So it wasn’t surprising when it finally happened. When their schedules finally clashed consequentially. Sunggyu had finally finished up a major deal in Busan and was heading back down when he decided that he was going to take the next day off and spend it with his husband. But Dongwoo had already promised Myungsoo that he would be at the N tower from 9 AM to 3 PM to help out with some modelling along with Sungyeol. So, reluctantly, Dongwoo had to cancel. 

He had asked Sunggyu if he wanted to come along, then he could finally meet his friends and they would stop teasing Dongwoo about his imaginary husband. But Sunggyu had declined, not wanting to intrude and also knowing that if he went, he would be bored stiff within minutes. But that was okay, it was just once, after all.

But these things happen again and again even though nobody plans for them to happen. Dongwoo definitely isn’t planning for them to happen. But it does. And neither of them are happy about it, and sometimes Dongwoo cancels on cooking class with Woohyun- who knew such a grease could cook?- or on trips to museums with Sungyeol so he could spend a day in with Sunggyu. But Sunggyu can never cancel on work, so Dongwoo tries to work around his husband’s busy schedule.

Then, like the weather, Sunggyu’s work is unpredictable and he often has to cancel on Dongwoo. Which, should have been something they’d gotten used to ages ago. But Dongwoo thought all that had changed when he, himself, started to cancel on his friends to spend time with Sunggyu. He just forgot that Sunggyu can’t cancel like he can. 

Sunggyu gets frustrated sometimes, angry when Dongwoo can’t reschedule something he had planned with his friends. In the end, Sunggyu just ends up going back to work and giving Dongwoo the cold shoulder when he returns home. Of course, Dongwoo is sorry. He almost regrets planning to go with his friends, with Sunggyu’s schedule as unstable as it was, what was he thinking? But then he goes out, with Sungyeol to this new toy museum that just opened and he can’t remember the last time he got excited by toys. Or when he goes out with Howon to see an underground dance competition “because Howon knows people” and he’s glad he came along because, damn, these youngsters are talented these days. 

Dongwoo has argued with Sunggyu countless times about it, and each time Dongwoo would back away first and Sunggyu never apologises anymore. 

It was Labour Day and Dongwoo expected that Sunggyu would be busy, as he had been for the past 5 years they’d been together, so when Howon invited him out to a new dance club a little ways out of the city, Dongwoo jumped at the opportunity. 

As Dongwoo picked up his small duffel bag and checked his phone for the time, it started to ring. Dropping the duffle bag at his feet, Dongwoo answered the call. It was Sunggyu, and his voice was perky and it made Dongwoo grin widely. 

“Hey, babe, why do you sound so happy?”

“Baby, I just found out that the meeting was cancelled cause the hem of his trouser got caught on the escalator or something, so I’m free today! We can finally go out and have a nice day out, maybe go to the beach? Or Lotte World! And then we can go home and have a nice night in…”

Dongwoo’s smile disappears. And when the intercom buzzes, Dongwoo starts to frown.

“Gyu, I’m sorry but I already had plans. I was going to go out with Howon to check out this new dance club-“

“What? With Howon? You’re ditching me for Howon?”

“Gyu, stop. You know it means nothing, stop jumping to conclusions. Look, babe, I’ll try to come back early and we can still have a nice night in. Try not to get angry, okay?”

Dongwoo only hears a scoff on the other end.

“Whatever, him for all I care.”

Annoyed at the offensive language Sunggyu, he ends the call without saying anything else. When his phone starts ringing a nanosecond later, Dongwoo declines the call and blocks Sunggyu’s number. 

Dongwoo picks up his duffle bag and unlocks the door, all the while angrily typing out a message to Sunggyu as he rides the elevator down. When he reaches the lobby, he hits send, pockets his phone and takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

And when Howon sees Dongwoo, he’s greeted with a beatific smile. 

It’s almost 9 at night when Dongwoo unlocks the door to his apartment. He’s beaming and his eyes have pretty much disappeared. Howon is still standing by his side, his hand full of the snacks and random stuff they bought along the way. They both step into the apartment, Dongwoo opening the door for Howon. As the older flips the light switch, he notices Howon’s less than pleased expression. 

Turning around, he notices Sunggyu for the first time. And he’s dressed in his office clothes, a well- tailored black suit that follows his every curve and a tie that matches his pocket square. Neither of them say a single thing. Until Sunggyu takes a few steps forward and Dongwoo and Howon both back up. 

Sunggyu stands close to Dongwoo, so close the tips of their toes touch. Then Sunggyu drops his head to rest it on Dongwoo’s. And Dongwoo takes a step back. 

“What? Think you’re forgiven?”

Dongwoo resumes the same mask he wore before he left the apartment earlier today. During the drive with Howon, Dongwoo realised that even though Sunggyu was running a successful company, it didn’t give him the right to control everything he did. And of course, Howon was the one who pointed it out. Now, Dongwoo is pretty sure he won’t let Sunggyu control him anymore. 

Sunggyu only scoffs. 

“I was seeing if you were ready to apologise, actually.”

There’s the sound of an intake of breath from Howon but the couple ignores it. 

“What do you want me to apologise for?”

“For always ditching me for that brute standing behind you.”

Dongwoo rolls his eyes and heads to the couch to drop off his duffle bag. Then he turns around and rests both of his hands on his hips, his expression still stormy.

“Don’t say stupid stuff like that. The only person ditching me is you.”

There’s more scoffing from Sunggyu before he walks right up to Dongwoo again.

“You’re being such a ing right now.”

Dongwoo doesn’t respond, mainly because he doesn’t know how to. It’s almost like he’s forgotten how to form words, all he has at the moment is the disbelief flitting around inside his mind. But Howon doesn’t seem to be affected with the same symptoms. 

“Apologise, right now.”

Sunggyu whirls around to face Howon, his eyes finally leaving Dongwoo’s. He remains in his stance, bringing himself up to his full height even when Howon is just almost as casual as when he first walked in.

“As if I would apologise. What should I even apologise for?”

Howon examines the cuticles on his nails as he tries to appear nonchalant. Then he looks back up, straight at Sunggyu and struggling to ignore Dongwoo, still frozen, at the back.

“I think you know what for, and I think you owe us both an apology.”

Sunggyu only rolls his eyes before he almost stalks over to his briefcase, picking it up. He turns to face Dongwoo, the bottom edge of his suitcase bashing into the leg of the table. Dongwoo doesn’t flinch when the bottle falls and rolls off the edge. It falls with a crash of glass and broken paint but nobody does anything. 

“Whatever. I’m leaving.”

The front door open and closes and Howon can only switch between the broken bottle- that he now realised wasn’t empty like he’d originally thought- and Dongwoo’s tight expression. 

The first thing Howon does is rush forward and pull Dongwoo into a hug. It’s one of the tightest hugs they’ve ever shared and even though Dongwoo doesn’t lift a arm to hug back, Howon can tell he doesn’t mind. It’s when Howon starts to feel the warmth spilling onto his shoulder, does he worry. 

Dongwoo’s tears turn into loud broken sobs and he can tell that Dongwoo is holding back. So when Howon pats his back gently and tells him to let it all out as quietly as he can, he tries not to cringe when the loud wails pour out into his shirt and bleed into it, seeping into his skin and making his heart clench. 

Howon had stayed the night, too worried to head home after putting Dongwoo to sleep. He knew that Dongwoo probably wouldn’t do anything stupid, he was too smart for that. But Howon just needed the other to know that he wasn’t far away, just a plaster wall away. In the morning, Howon had made breakfast before waking Dongwoo up. 

The room was all dark, and even though he didn’t remember drawing the curtains, the curtains were tightly shut. There was no light filtering in at all, and Howon sighed. Dongwoo must have gotten up sometime last night and drew the curtains. But what he didn’t understand was why Dongwoo would need to do that when it was dark at night anyways.

Disregarding that, Howon proceeded to wake Dongwoo up, leaving the curtains as they were. 

Dongwoo woke up easily, his eyes sliding open as soon as Howon touched his shoulder. Dongwoo flinched away from Howon’s hand before he realised it was Howon. Running a hand down his face, Dongwoo gave Howon a smile. But it wasn’t sleepy or nice. It was just tired and it made Howon frown. 

“I made breakfast.”

They stared at each other while Dongwoo chewed, Howon only sipping some juice occasionally. Dongwoo had kept a thoughtful face on the whole time he started eating and even though it was peculiar, Howon preferred it over an expression that made him worry. 

“The break didn’t work, Howon.” 

Dongwoo’s voice was pleasantly calm, and if Howon didn’t understand Korean, he would have thought he was talking about what nice weather they were having lately. Howon put the glass back down onto the table.

“What are you trying to say?”

The silence loomed over Howon as Dongwoo took his time answering. 

“What could possibly help now?”

For some reason, the question felt more like an ultimatum and Howon felt queasy. It felt solid, and that weird empty feeling inside him felt a little like loss.

Dongwoo twirled the fork with his fingers before stabbing it into a piece of egg. He had stayed up all night thinking about Sunggyu. And about the two of them. Then when dawn broke, he had drawn the curtains, and crept back into bed, pulling the duvet up to his chin. There wouldn’t be any weird sense of nostalgia or melancholy as he flipped through their wedding album- did they even have one?- or as he packed up all his belongings. The decision was final as soon as the idea materialised and Dongwoo didn’t think he needed anything to cement it.