Denying Memories

I'm Now His Slave??!! (Editing in Process)

 

I ran out the door, even if it was raining. I felt like I was suffocating. These memories all kept coming back, but I kept denying them. I don’t know why I was denying them. It was like these memories were … something that I didn’t want to remember. So, I just kept running, trying to get away from the source that kept bringing up these forgotten memories. I then stopped at this neighborhood, lost. But I didn’t care. I was happy that the memories stopped coming.

                I knew that I was denying the fact that Kibum was my childhood friend but for some reason my heart kept hurting every time I do remember that. It’s like; my heart is trying to deny him. Why? Is it because he really did abandon me? Why I should care, I don’t know. I’ve taught myself better than that. I shouldn’t care about a guy if he had abandoned me.

                I sighed and sat down on a bench at a nearby bus stop. I closed my eyes, letting the rain just pour down on me. At this point, I didn’t really care what happens to me. I just wanted to gather all my emotions and feelings. But then a fuzzy memory popped up. It was of me and Kibum. We were lying down in a meadow of grass pointing out all these different type of clouds. We said something … but I couldn’t remember. I do remember that it was something we both shared and something we treasured deeply.

                My thoughts were interrupted by a loud noise and the rain suddenly stopped. I looked up to see a guy holding out on an umbrella for me. I squinted and my eyes widened.

                “Minho? What are you doing here?” I asked the tall figure.

                Minho smiled. “I live here. I was at home, until I suddenly felt that someone needed me, so I decided to go out for a walk. It turned out that I was right. Now, what are you doing here?”

                I took a deep breathe and gave him a shaky smile. “Nothing, I just thought I’d go out for a walk.”

                “I doubt it’s nothing. A sane person wouldn’t go out for a walk without an umbrella, especially alone. Now tell me, what’s wrong. If you don’t tell me … well, I have my ways.”

                I let my smile fall and I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “I don’t want to burden you. This is my problem.”

                Minho didn’t say anything, and then he pulled me up. I look at him, but he just stared down at me with observing eyes. We had a stare down until he sighed and grabbed my hands, pulling me. “Come, I’ll take you to my house. It’s cold out here and you’ll get sick.”

                I didn’t protest, because I really was cold now. I could feel myself shivering. So I just let Minho pull me to where ever his house was. This turned out to be a condo and not a huge mansion.

                “You live in a condo? Why?” I asked as we rode up in the elevator.

                Minho shrugged. “Unlike the others, I don’t like to flaunt my money like nothing. I prefer a simple and quiet life most of the time. I can live without a huge bunch of money.”

                I smiled at that. I knew Minho was mature, but I didn’t know how mature he was until now. It was nice to see that not every rich guy spends his money on unnecessary stuff.

                We walked into his house and I gaped. Although he lived in a condo, this place was humongous and … different. When you walk in, there’s a hallway on the left and right and then if you go straight, you go right into the living room. This living room had a huge TV, a circular couch in the middle, with steps leading down to it, and a huge bookshelf stacked with books to one side, a large balcony behind the couch and other stuff. This is what he considered simple?

                Minho had me sit on the couch and went into the kitchen to get a towel. He sat next to me and started wiping my hair but I protested.

                “Aniyo, Minho I can dry myself off.” I tried to grab the towel but he pulled away and chuckled.

                “Aniyo, I want to.” Minho continued to dry my hair.

                “But why?”

                Minho gave me a soft smile. “Because I’ve always wanted to take care of someone. Especially you. You remind me of a lost puppy most of the time.”

                I stared at him. “I remind you of a lost puppy? Exactly how?”

                “Because you’re so innocent and adorable, and you’re always trailing us around like you have no idea what to do. Although, it can’t be helped because we do take you to places where you’ve never been to before. You’re so fun to be around with and to tease as well.”

                I smiled. “That’s true. I thank you guys for all the experience that you’ve given me. I don’t deserve it.”

                Minho poked my nose. “You don’t deserve it? It’s more like we don’t deserve you. Before we met you, we were like little kids without a purpose. We hanged out with each other because our families were friends, so we thought it was natural for us to be together. But we were together as strangers. We didn’t talk that much, and we kinda kept to ourselves. Then you showed up and Kibum started smiling and talking to us. Taemin wasn’t afraid to hang out with us anymore. JongHyun started telling jokes and isn’t afraid to tell us stuff. I actually talk a lot more now, and I know how to fun with them. It’s all because of you that we got closer. You brought out the best in us, by just being yourself.”

                I blinked at him. “Really? Kibum told me something about that, but not what you said. I don’t really understand how I can just change you guys.”

                Minho chuckled and helped me stand up. “You don’t need to understand. Just be yourself and be happy. Now come. You need to take a nice hot shower or else you’ll get sick.”

                Minho led me through the hallways and into a white, elegant bathroom. He showed me how the shower works and then left me alone. I undressed and got in, shivering at the sudden change in temperature. As I took a shower I thought about what Minho said and smiled at his kindness. Minho always had felt like a guardian to me. He’s been nothing but kind to me, and I haven’t really done anything for him.

                After I finished I found a set of clothes on the sink counter and put it on. After drying my hair and brushing it, I walked out and back to where the living room was to find Minho sitting on the couch with two mugs on the coffee table. He saw me and pats the seat next to him. I sat down and he pushed the mug towards me.

                “Here you go.”

                I drank it, tasting chocolate. I smiled at him. “Kamsahamnida.”

                “No problem, but are you going to tell me why you were out in the rain alone, sad?” Minho asked.

                I sighed and placed the mug down. I fiddled with my fingers debating whether or not I should tell him, but decided that there was no harm with telling him.

                “Well, I was hanging out with Kibum today and-“

                “Did he do something bad to you?” Minho was angry.

                I shook my head. “No … well not recently.”

                “What do you mean ‘not recently’?”

                “Well, he came over my house tonight. Then my mom came home from her long business trip and I was about to introduce them. Until I heard them talking to each other as if they knew each other. Then they started talking about me and about Kibum leaving me. I confronted them and …”

                I went quiet, trying to hold back the emotions that were rising. The last thing I needed was to go crazy on Minho. Then I felt him pulling my hands apart.

                “You’re going to leave scratches on your hands. Now, continue.” Minho said, holding on to my hands.

                I took a deep breathe. “I confronted them and they … started talking about how I and Kibum used to be childhood friend. They kept asking if I had these déjà vu moments with Kibum and if he felt familiar to me. I admit that I always did get these feelings that I’ve known Kibum before, but I just thought that it was crazy and dismissed it. Then Kibum started saying things like how he abandoned me for a girl – Taylor. When I kept denying he kept pushing, and then I got these … memories that I never knew I had before. One after the other, they all kept coming. Some were happy, and then there were really sad ones that made my heart squeeze in pain. They were memories of Kibum and me: when we were little, our first day at middle school together, our time hanging out at the park, us smiling, and one after the other. And then there were others: Kibum hanging out with this girl, this girl bullying me, Kibum smiling with someone else besides me and … of Kibum shoving me away. It hurts so much.”

                Minho pulled me into a hug and I felt myself crying again. Why am I crying again? But I couldn’t stop; it was like my heart knew something that my brain didn’t. My heart felt like there was more to these memories and it didn’t want me to remember it. Why not?

                “Don’t cry.” Minho said. “Don’t, because you don’t deserve to cry. A person like you should never cry. You should be smiling.”

                “I don’t know why I’m crying. In my mind, these memories are nothing but memories. But in my heart, it’s like these memories are holding something precious that Kibum broke. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like … Kibum and I shared something that wasn’t meant to be broken, until he did. I feel like I’m going crazy, Minho.” I sobbed.

                Minho pulled back to look at me. “You’re not crazy. You’re just denying it. Maybe you’re afraid to find out the truth.”

                “Afraid?”

                “Amnesia happens for a reason. Maybe something did happen between Kibum and this girl. And then he did something to you to make you feel like this. You’re with him now, and you love him don’t you?” I nodded. “Maybe you’re afraid that whatever had happened in the past will ruin the happiness that you guys have now.”

                “Ruin the happiness that we have now? I don’t know …”I said unsure.

                “Okay, well from what you told me, Kibum abandoned you back then right? And yet you’re trying to deny it, why?”

                I thought about it. “I don’t know it’s like my heart is telling me something, but I just don’t understand what it’s trying to tell me. Every time I try to remember, I get these overwhelming feelings and I just stop.”

                “Overwhelming? Like what?”

                “Like … This unbearable pain of … love and betrayal..” I look up. “Betrayal and love. That’s what I feel every time I try to remember.”

                “And is both a big thing to you?”

                “Well … I’ve never felt betrayal before, until now … or at least until before. But I and Kibum had shared something, I know that for sure. But I can’t seem to remember the most important thing that we shared beside a connection. You see, I remember that we use to share this quote together, but I can’t remember.  This quote kept us together and was only meant to be heard between us two. Then he turned his back on me and … h-he abandoned me. But what is it that we shared?”

                I let out a frustrated noise and looked up at the ceiling. “This probably doesn’t make sense to you, but my mind and my heart are two different things. My mind says I’m making a big deal out of it, but my heart says that there’s a reason why I’m feeling like this.”

                Minho didn’t say anything and then he left briefly, coming back with pillows and a blanket. “I think you’re just worn out today.  Why don’t you go to sleep? I’ll take you back home tomorrow morning.”

                Minho laid me down and placed the blanket over me. I didn’t protest I was actually very tired. All this thinking has worn me out so much. As soon as Minho left, I felt right to sleep, dreaming of that one important memory that I had but couldn’t understand.

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Hey I'm sorry it took so long >.<, my internet was being down and crashed. Don't worry, while it was crashed I was working on the next chapter :3. I hope you like it!!

@candyaggie: Dw, dw I won't XD. I'm not heartless lmao.

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Comments

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SingingMassacre
#1
Chapter 13: Whenever I read "You're so pretty Noona" I instantly have Noona you're so pretty/Replay playing in my head.. xDD...
winter-child #2
Chapter 39: I haven't read this in a while!! O.O
gemstonemay
#3
lol Taemin's stepsis was EunHae XDDD
ShawolMBLFT #4
Omg!
I read this Fic like waay back before I even had an account^^
iChibi13 #5
bbbbbbbbbut....... aw...
young_KPOP
#6
so Korean-Drama-triangle-love-story styled!
i love this story <3 although Jjongie is my fav of SHINee, this story totally made me love Key for like, FOREVER
JadeKKeyLoveYOU
#7
OMG this story was really great!! i loved it!! the happy ending *-* and so glad that onew went on :3
really, i enjoyed reading it ^^
Good job :D
zyierra #8
I love this story!!!! Especially KEY!!!!!! Nice fic...Fighting><
Wisdom
#9
Awww.... so cute this storu was/is^^ I really liked and enjoyed reading it^^ so thanks for this lovely story, I'm glad you shared it with us^^
Missdreamgirl501
#10
I really don't like Key when I first read it but at the end I like him^^<br />
Nice story!