CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Yunho and I have agreed on Kibum’s living arrangement so that the boy won’t be too stressed when I do not show up in his father’s house for the next two weeks. I’ve made lots of plan. The top of all is introducing this boy to my family. Mom and Dad, aside from their bewilderment, are excited about the prospect of seeing their so called grandson. They do not pressing questions, they do not giving judgments, they just – they are wonderful parents.

There was this deep wounded look on Yunho’s face when he dropped me off in my house early in the morning. I tried my best to ignore it but eventually it got under my skin that I cried my heart out as I took shower. And the result is I’m brooding all morning in class that even the kids attempt to cheer me is failed.

I’m pathetic.

This is all my idea and now even before the day changes, I already regret my decision. How am I going to survive for the next thirteen days, fourteen hours, and twenty four minutes?

“Mom, where are we going?”

Kibum nudges my sleeve impatiently. I suspect that he’s bored because I ignored him since we got home after I picked him up earlier.

“I’m sorry darling. I kind of distracted.” I smile down at him.

We are in the mid way to my parents’ house. I chose to walk because I want to clear my head. Fortunately, Kibum doesn't protest or anything. He is such a nice and adorable kid that I feel guilty for abandoning him.

“We are going to your grandparents’ house for dinner.” I see for the information to sink. And then, as if by magic, the bright, beautiful smile appears in his face.

“I have grandparents?!”

“Yes you are. And you’re a lucky boy because they are wonderful. They will love you the first moment they lay their eyes on you baby.”

“I love them too mommy.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

We swing our intertwined hands in the air back and forth, enjoying the late autumn sun. Soon, it would be a far away wish to enjoy this since everything will be covered by snow. The joy of Christmas and New Year will come too. And I have this boy by my side to spend the day with, probably Yunho too if I’m lucky.  

Thinking stuffs like that is really depressing but at the same time it can’t be avoided. A future with Yunho and build a family with him are always my biggest dream. Too bad when it’s about coming true, I freak out. What if the love he feels is real? What if all of this tug-of-war game is because of my own insecurities? He really did coming back to me after all.  

“Mommy?”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Why daddy is not with us?”

I contemplate my answer. “Uhm – because he is busy. He has something else to do.”

“Daddy will come with us if we ask him to.” Kibum doesn’t really know what he’s talking because his attention is on the pathway where he kicks the pebbles along the way.  

“He will?”

“Yeah. He said that he will do anything I ask.”

I need to slowdown my steps to match his short ones.  “What else did he tell you?”

“When I was sick, he told me that I need to stay strong because he won’t be able to live without me.”

“He said that?”

“There was also time when he can’t stop saying he loves me.” The boy looks up to stare at me with his wide eyes. “And that my mom loves me too. She waits for us to come to her. Did you mommy?”

The back of my eyes is burning. “Did I wait for you? Of course I was. I was waiting alone, wondering when the two of you will come so that I didn’t have to be alone.”

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