ANTICIPATION HIGH FOR SNSD'S PRESS CONFERENCE

1. [+59,521 / -4,214] We only want these questions answered:

- Is Taeyeon pregnant?

- If she is, will she leave SNSD?

- If she is, who is the father?

I don't care who Fany's dating, or who Hyoyeon assaulted. I think Taeyeon's situation is what's making the fandom and the public men boong.

2. [+69,322 / -5,421] Taeyeon will come out with the pregnancy soon! About time, so that the majority but one part of the Korean teen fandom can rest easy.

"THE FATHER WILL BE THERE WITH TAEYEON." - SM INSIDER

1. [+79,123 / -2,176] Holy sh*t. So inviting all SNSD's fan clubs in this press conference was for the sole reason of introducing the man who ruined our SNSD? you! SM you piece of sh*t! We don't want to see the face of that !

2. [+56,325 / -3,537] Aigoo if I was a fan of this celebrity father, I would make Sones realize is a two-way street. I don't think Taeyeon was , no? Otherwise, why invite the boyfriend to the press con?

~*~

"...will you marry me?"

That was not how I dreamt those words would be laid out to me. I wasn't one of those who fantasized of romance, of a happy ending, of a fairy tale. But I surely did not dream of being proposed to while pregnant, on the verge of leaving my group, and of being publicly crucified.

"...will you marry me?"

And yet, Kwon Jiyong's kind voice echoed in my thoughts, and his somber tone and persuasive eyes did a wonderful job convincing me. Even if we weren't in love, even if we didn't know each other, even if we were fooling the whole world including ourselves, it seemed the next wisest decision was to say "I will."

"...will you marry me?"

I should, shouldn't I?

"Dear, are you ready?"

I looked back to see Jiyong's mom enter the guest room, just as I was zipping up the back of my dress. She was all made up, smiling so brightly so early in the morning. Even if we had only spent one day and a half together, it felt as if we've known each other for a long time. Looking at the Kwon family's very warm reception of my parents, an outsider would think the two families have always had such a close relationship.

"Y-yes Mrs. Kwon."

"I have told you a thousand times, it's Kwon umma," she kindly answered, and then hurried to zip up my dress for me. "Here, let me get that for you."

"Thank you Kwon u-umma," I awkwardly said. Up until now, I still couldn't believe I spent the night at the house of G-dragon's parents.

"Your mother said they should be back soon. Your parents picked up your siblings in the train station," she answered, combing my hair right after she zipped me up. She then bowed low on my shoulder so that she was looking at the mirror with me. "Aigoo. You are so beautiful, my child. I think you're the most beautiful woman Jiyong has ever brought home."

Has he brought a lot of women home? I silently asked. Jiyong's mother was a very sweet woman.

"You're very kind, Kwon umma."

"I'm sorry I won't be there to support you and my son. But in spirit, I will be there," she stood straight again, then helped me wear my platinum gold necklace.

"I’ve been praying for you and your baby every single night since I found out. Th-thank you for giving me my first grandchild," Kwon umma began to choke, and looking at her from the mirror confirmed that she was crying. I wasn't emotional when I woke up, but seeing the tears of Jiyong's mom expertly my hormones so that I was worked up again. Kwon umma continued, "I've prayed and prayed that I'd see my kids marry, my son especially, and have a family of their own before--"

"Don't cry Kwon umma. My emotions are on the verge too, so I will cry from the slightest trigger," I childishly begged, shaking my head, now helplessly crying too. I have long realized that this pregnancy was causing all sorts of emotions inside me.

"...I try not too. I'm just so happy, and so excited. I hope to have a long time loving and caring for this baby," was all Kwon umma replied, wiping her tears and chuckling while doing so.

"Why wouldn't you be there? Jiyong would want you to watch the press conference."

"I know. But I couldn't change my health appointment today. Everything came as a surprise, as you know."

"Ladies?" a voice that I recognized was from Mr. Kwon called out. When Kwon umma and I checked the door, there was Jiyong's dad, all dressed up too. "It's time to go. Taeyeon's family is already downstairs."

"Good morning Mr. Kwon," I greeted.

"It's Kwon appa now, young lady. Good morning to you, too. You are very beautiful."

"Thank you Kwon appa."

"Honey, are you ready for your chemotherapy?" he then asked his wife. This caused an uncomfortable sensation in my stomach. Chemo? Health appointment? Suddenly, Kwon umma's tears made sense.

"As always," she cheerfully answered.

"Kwon umma, y-you're sick?"

"Don't you worry about that!" was all she said, grabbing my hand to walk with me. "Your life changes today, Kim Taeyeon. That, you have to worry about."

"She doesn't like other people knowing, but since you're a part of our family now, you ought to know. My wife's been battling cancer of the stomach for two years now."

I was on the verge of another emotional breakdown, but Kwon umma gave me an ultimatum while going down the stairs. No tears, or she would tell my fiancé that I had been misbehaving. So I stopped myself. I felt so bad for someone so old and so sweet as Mrs. Kwon to be physically suffering as such. I also felt guilty, because now it also made sense why Jiyong talked about having a family as soon as possible. Did his girlfriend of four years think about her boyfriend's desire to give his mom the gift of a grandson when she rejected his marriage proposal? Who are you to judge Jiyong's girlfriend? You're rejecting his proposal too, right? Right? I didn't answer myself, proving my uncertainty.

"Unnie! Unnie, I miss you. Are you okay?" my ever enthusiastic sister, Kim Hayeon, rushed to me again. She always behaved like this whenever we met. She idolized me, adored me, missed me all her life. But I still felt guilty for being such a bad example to her.

I embraced her back, but I noticed the bruising on her face. I held her head up and asked, "What happened to your face? Did you get in a fight?"

She shook her head and answered in a small voice, "No. I just.."

"Did someone bully you?" I confronted her, because it was clear as day that she was lying. Just then, I heard the door open to see more people come in, including my brother, whose hand was wrapped in thick bandage.

"Oppa, what happened to your hand?" I was worrying now seeing my family wounded like this. Yet when I looked at them both, they just stared back at me with darkened expressions. Thanks to my hormones, my sensitivity was on the verge, and I almost became angry. "What happened to you both? Answer me!"

"Hayeon's principal called for her parents yesterday," my 27-year old brother Kim Jiwoong answered. "Mom and Dad's here with you in Seoul, so I went. She hasn't been attending school for a week now."

"What?! Why?! Is someone bullying you?" I asked her, completely worked up. And just then, Hayeon embraced me again, crying in my arms.

"Everyone's bullying me! Everyone says you're a who sleeps with all their idol oppas, and that your child is a product of sin," she cried out in a muffled voice that was buried on my shoulder. I felt a heavy weight drooping my back when Hayeon confessed that. "Of course I know it's not true, but there's a lot of them. I couldn't fight them, unnie!"

I held on my sister's back and embraced her closely, the guilt eating me up alive. Hayeon added, "These kids, they think their Exo and SuJu oppas would ever look at them. They're so silly, and pathetic, and just plain delusional bullies!"

"I'm sorry sis. I'm so sorry," I told her, pulling her head up and wiping her tears with my hands.

"I'm so happy that GD oppa is your boyfriend. Because then, the bullies in my school will leave me alone. GD oppa's fans are mostly adult females, college students, people who would never hurt someone like me, even if they are jealous of you. I can't wait for you to reveal it and prove those haters wrong!"

I felt a tremendous amount of pressure from Hayeon's words. Why did the morning come and suddenly give me more reasons that proved accepting Jiyong's proposal was wise? I looked at my brother, who was nursing his aching knuckles. I asked, "What happened to you, then, oppa?"

"Don't mind me. I just... hit something..."

"What happened? Don't lie to me Kim Jiwoong. You know I would never lie to you!"

"You were about to, and you would have continued to lie if Jiyong didn't tell us the truth," he answered bluntly, shocking me.

"That's... fair," I admitted. Hayeon has now calmed down by my side. Together, we sat in the couch of the Kwon family living room, followed by my brother and parents.

"I couldn't stand it when my coworkers gossiped about you. When they said you were carrying a bastard... I... lost control..."

"This is all my fault," I muttered, feeling all the more guilty for making their lives difficult. "Just let them call me a or my child a bastard. I'm a public figure, and when I debuted, I already gave them the right to judge me harshly."

"But it doesn't mean we can't defend you, because we will Taeyeon. I will punch as many people as I could whenever they call you a ," Jiwoong angrily answered, and I felt touched. We'd always been close, but never expressive.

"You can't tell your siblings to stop carrying your cross. We're your family, and we love you. When you suffer, we do too. No matter how much you want to carry it all to yourself," my mother reminded me, and I heard that Hayeon was still sniffing by my side.

"I'm sorry to have to interrupt," Kwon umma politely said, joining us in her living room. "Seoul's midday rush hour is approaching. You better get going now so you can make it in time to the press conference."

With that, we all stood up, ending our sad family reunion. This was our first time to be completed in Seoul, and it saddened me that it was because of such a scandal. The Kwon couple sent me off to the SUV that Mr. Kwon lent my father.

"Be strong, Kwon umma. I'm praying for your session too," I told Jiyong's mom.

"Oh dear, you're very thoughtful, aigoo," she happily replied, holding my face from the car window. "This is my seventh session this year. I will be fine! Now face the world with a head high. My son will never leave your side, I promise you that."

~*~

CRITICS BELIEVE TAEYEON WOULD MOST LIKELY LEAVE SNSD

1. [+81,340 / -8,761] THIS MAN, DO YOU REALIZE YOU RUINED EVERYTHING?! IF TAEYEON LEAVES SNSD, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE MAN WHO IMPREGNATED HER!

2. [+71,730 / -9,463] Why are you just blaming the man? Taeyeon's responsible for who she sleeps with, of why her kid will be a bastard, and why she's now tagged a . I'm a man, and I don't appreciate the society thinking it's always our fault when someone gets pregnant.

OVER 500 PRESS AND 3000 FANS CROWD APKUJEONG FOR SNSD'S PRESSCON

1. [+73,792 / -12,369] This has got to be the biggest press conference in the history of Korean pop culture. This is a testament of how SNSD has become the most powerful celebrity in our society.

2. [+59,521 / -6,414] We are all eagerly awaiting how our representative singer would continue. Good or bad, better or worse, I think we can all agree that SNSD's career from 2007 - 2014 was a legendary, record-breaking, unbeatable one. It was a good run, SNSD.

~*~

The moment I entered the major backstage dressing room, somehow immediately welcomed me and blocked my view.

"Unnie! Are you feeling better?" Im Yoona asked, holding my face and watching it closely.

"I'm sorry we couldn't call you. I tried and tried to call you but SM cut your--"

"Now's not the time for that Joohyun," Jessica cut our maknae, and I wondered just what Seohyun was about to say. Did she mean SM cut my phone number from the member's records? I didn't have time to dwell on that thought, because the other SNSD members crowded me and brought me to the couch.

"How's our niece? Is she hurt?"

"How about you? How are you?"

"She's still with you, right?"

"Oh God, she's gotta be!"

"We're both fine. I was just fatigued," I answered even before someone else panicked. The members were now surrounding me, some sitting on the other couches, the others on the stools that they dragged near where I sat.

"That's good."

"Oh my, thank God!"

"We were so worried."

And just as they collectively panicked, they also fell down in an uncomfortable silence together. For the first time, I felt awkward around my closest friends. After all, less than 24-hours ago, they just learned that a stranger I have never mentioned to them was the father of my child. Everything happened so fast, that only now did I realize that my best friends, my sister, must have millions of questions about what happened.

"Since no one wants to mention it, I will," Tiffany broke the really uncomfortable silence, looking around to see if someone would bite. When no one did, she blurted out, "G-dragon?! How? When? Why?"

Looking around, I saw the very curious and intrigued expressions of my members. I sighed, and replied, "It's a long and complicated story. We might not have time to talk about it."

"Up until now, I'm still having a mental breakdown! The whole world will really go men boong later," Lee Soonkyu commented, literally holding her head and shaking it.

"Was it during Jay's party last January?" Hyoyeon inquired, to which I answered, "Yes."

"Do you two even know each other?" Yuri then wondered.

"You never talk about your dating life, and we didn't think you were being elusive. We just thought you had no one, because you were waiting for Jungsu oppa," Sooyoung also shared her mind, and I saw the members nodded their heads in agreement.

"Did you meet each other even after the party? Did he contact you? Did you date after?" Hyoyeon asked more and more. Though this was a serious matter, I couldn’t help but find lightness in the moment, because this was just like our usual nightly round table gossips over milk and cookies back when we still lived together.

But before I could even shed some light on the G-dragon gossip, the manager oppa entered the room and said, "Gather round, girls!"

He approached us and looked relieved in seeing all nine of us already gathered. He distributed the copy of the agenda that I saw for the first time today. My lawyers gave me a different agenda this morning, and it only related to Jiyong and me. Skimming through the questions told me these were SM-approved questions and answers for SNSD.

The manager said, "Now you all have read the agenda for today. We will carefully screen the questions, and only those that are close to the sample questions you rehearsed will be asked. You all already know the answers. Well, except for one. Taeyeon, please provide the answer to question 27."

Everyone looked at me expectantly, and I read the 27th question thoroughly. As expected, it was the most difficult question I had ever been asked. If I was asked if I would marry Kwon Jiyong, I'd most probably say yes, and it wouldn't have been a difficult question to answer. But the 27th question wasn't about Jiyong. It was about me. It was about SNSD. And I didn't have the answer yet.

"We've rehearsed the answers to everything in this document. We know you won't be with us for at least a year, as you carry this child," Jessica began to discuss the agenda, touching on the first five questions.

"And we know that in the one year that you will be gone, we will go on tours and festivals, accept and record CFs, record songs, release albums, even without you," Tiffany continued, covering the sixth to tenth questions.

"We also know that we're still SNSD as 8, just without our leader... for at least a year," Sunny added, summarizing the most important questions.

"We know almost all the answers, except for one question. How should we answer this, Taeng?" Sooyoung asked the 27th question again, and I reread it until I have memorized it thoroughly. In all version, in all possible forms. I knew the question to heart, but what was the answer?

Will Taeyeon's departure be a temporary one? Will she ever come back? Will SNSD be nine ever again?

"We hope the answer's what we want it to be. Though it's painful, we can go on as eight even just for a year," Yuri started, her voice breaking in between. She couldn't continue, and it was Hyoyeon who finished it for her.

"...to think of being just eight for longer than a year, it's crushing my heart. I don't even want to think about it," Hyoyeon muttered, then she cried too.

The silence stayed for a few seconds while the members silently sniffed. With much difficulty, with the heaviest of my heart, I began, "Legally, I'm already free of my contract. Jiyong already paid the termination fee, and as of today, I'm no longer SNSD..."

"He paid $5 million to SM? Why would he do that for you?" Yoona asked, bewildered.

"Are you... lovers?" Seohyun now inquired, and suddenly, the sniffs disappeared, and the members became the curious bunch again.

"That's besides the point! I'm sorry, but frankly I really can't care less about G-dragon," Jessica bluntly expressed. "What's your plan Taeyeon?"

"So you're free from the contract that we all have, does that mean... you're not coming back to us?" Sooyoung asked in a slow expression.

"I'm not sure they'd want me to," I answered, referring to SM.

"Of course they will! If they don't, then we're gone too!" Yuri exclaimed.

"No! That's the last thing I want you do--"

"Taeyeon, this is not about what you want! This is about us! All nine of us!" Jessica exclaimed dramatically.

"How can you just decide to bail on us forever without even asking us? We can jump over the cliff for you and with you. You have to come back to us!" Tiffany cried out. One by one, I saw the members shake their heads and cry on their own.

"It's time, ladies," manager oppa , forcing the members to stand up.

"What's the answer to the question, Taeyeon?" Sunny firmly asked, rooted on her stool and ignoring the manager.

"We're not leaving this room until all nine of us are clear on what question number 27 means," Hyoyeon also stayed firm on her spot, looking at me.

"Get ready, come on! What the heck are you all doing?" manager oppa told us off when he saw that no one was budging.

"Will Taeyeon's departure be a temporary one? Will she ever come back? Will SNSD be nine again?" Sooyoung read the question out loud, emotional while she did so.

The manager began to physically force the members one by one, crying out, "It's starting in two minutes! The last thing we need is bad press for SNSD's prima donna attitude in their own press con!"

"Kim Taeyeon, answer it!" Jessica forced me, and that's when I have reached the limit of my silence.

"Don't wait for me. That's the answer!" I blurted out, a little too loudly than I had intended. But the words came out powerfully once the mental pressure that had ballooned up in my mind exploded.

Was that the correct answer? The moment I saw the pain on their faces, I knew that it wasn't. All eight of them became too taken aback for words.

"NOW LADIES!" the manager now screamed, causing all of us to silently scramble towards the exit.

None of us said a word to each other, and we all just silently walked to the hallway. One by one, the sniffs echoed around the backstage walkway. Yoona was the one who let out her noisy tears, and everyone just followed. Still, we did not talk. This was supposed to be our time to talk to the public, yet the rehearsal of the answers caused us to be on the peak of our emotions.

"I don't need those tears before you even face the public," SM's Vice President for Media & Public Relations addressed us. We were just one door away from the press conference, and the VP watched us silently cry while we walked.  

"Stop crying or your weekends off this April will be cancelled. Smile. Project. Pretend. Act!" CEO Kim Youngmin threatened. This was the first time since 2010 that SNSD was ever threatened by leadership.

"Remember what you rehearsed girls. This is your future at stake," our main handler reminded us.

In front of the executives, we cried silently. We all worked hard to manage our tears. When we have, we all looked at each other once more. I felt sorry, more than ever, to my members.

"Do you all remember what we said on our debut stage?" Tiffany asked all of us. I did. Clearly. We were in the same exact scenario, just before the expectant crowd, crying and nervous. Only this time, we weren't performing for the first time.

"We said, right now, tomorrow, and forever... we'd be nine," Seohyun answered Tiffany's question.

"It didn't mean just the stage, r-right?" Sunny asked too, looking at us one by one. "We can be friends, sisters, even if one is no longer on the stage."

I couldn't hold the tears any longer, so I grabbed on Yoona, who was beside me. I also took Sooyoung on my o