~*~

SM TOWN OPENLY POST DISGUST FOR G-DRAGON?

1. [+5673 / -1039] Uhm, excuse me SM Town, Taeyeon the Fox is just as disgusting. They're both disgusting for sleeping with other people in their marriage. I can't believe I ever considered myself a Sone. You betrayed me Taeyeon! I defended you when you got married. I defended you when you got pregnant. I defended you when you left SNSD. But I can't shield you from this mess. It's time we part ways. Bye, Taeyeon the Fox.

@i_am_kiko posted:

One day, you have the world offered to you. The next day, someone just takes it away. How would you continue living?

1. [+5673 / -1039] What's with her suicidal tendencies? Is she and G-bastard pretending to break up? What thick-faces. They're both rotting in hell already while they live. I can't even pray for their souls because they deserve to be in hell.

@i_am_kiko posted:

Dreams. Purpose. Goals. I have none... not anymore.

1. [+5673 / -1039] Attention-seeker. In this saga, only Leeteuk came out to be an honorable person. Good job keeping away from the disgusting mess Lt. Park, and instead just protecting the country. Meanwhile, the calm fox took the baby cub Baekhyun. The -crazed G-dragon's hiding behind his friends and mistress. And this Japanese Camilla-wannabe is speaking nonsense. These three disgusting humans let SNS ruin their lives.

~*~

"We also said we didn't care about the world outside you and me, right? Ride or die, judged or hated, ridiculed or taunted, persecuted or ostracized, it's Kiko and Jiyong until the end of time. Never forget that Jiyong, because I'm holding on to those words, those pacts. Do you remember those?"

"Yeah, I remember them. I remember them very well."

I remembered how crazy we became for each other, how my life revolved around her, how my music and dreams became only for her. The strong feelings of love and obsession consumed all of me, until nothing was left. Until I hated myself for almost dying when she left me. Until I hated her for hurting me. And since she turned down my marriage proposal, the last four years became questionable reality. I couldn't believe I was capable of ever hating her. Yet I loved her all the same.

So out of spite, out of vengeance, out of resentment, I slept with just about very woman I could, even if Kiko and I were not officially broken up. We hurt each other, we hated each other, we kept each other hanging. We were like two obsessed people who pushed and pulled one another. And in that process, we hurt other people. In the process of hurting the woman I was obsessed with, I also slept with Kim Taeyeon.

And the rest, as they said, was history.

"Once your divorce is finalized, do you want to marry me?"

Kiko was still holding on to my neck, her face resting on my chest as we sat down on her couch. I let her rest there, because I didn't have the heart to push her away. Not when I would hurt her the most tonight. I just held on to her, because I knew she was fragile. She was the most delicate when she was intoxicated like this. I feared at what she would do, how she would react, when this night ended. When I watched her lift her head up and grab more of the toxic pill she forced on me earlier, I felt my heart being punched to its core.

"We can get married and put all this behind us. Let's just turn back the time, and you can propose to me again, only this time I will accept it," she popped another molly, and sat beside me. "Then we can run away like you wanted, buy a house, and have a baby. I'm ready to give you everything you want."

"No, you're not. Stop taking this," I muttered, taking the bottle of the abused pills off her table, and closing it shut.

"It's alright. We can reach that good high again, what do you think?" she asked with a sly smile, taking it from me, yet I didn't allow her to get ahold of it.

"Kiko, I can't take care of you forever."

"What's wrong baby? It's just a pill--"

"A pill that you know is wrong for you, yet you consciously take it!" I couldn't help but shout at her insistence. She was frustrating me with her conscious self-destruction, a ploy to cry for my help. "You're 23, and I won't always be here to save you. How are you supposed to take care of a husband and a child if you can't even take care of yourself? It's time that you grow up and learn to take care of yourself."

My outburst silenced her for a moment, and she just stared at me blankly. Finally, she muttered, "Kwon Jiyong, what are you s-saying?"

"I'm saying I won't be here anymore. I can't take care of you anymore. I'm..."

"Are you b-breaking up with me?" she asked in a flabbergasted voice. This time, her poker face showed emotions, and she became upset. "You're leaving me... again..."

Now it was my turn to be silenced. I couldn't stare at her any longer, so I looked down, dropping the bottle of ecstasy that I was holding. I crossed my palms while my elbows rested on my knees, an my eyes got glued to her carpeted floor.

"It's amazing how one person can break me over and over and over again. You're ing amazing and unbelievable Kwon Jiyong."

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"Is that it? So when you repeatedly told me you loved me, when you said I was your life, you lied? Five months ago, when you promised me you would go back to me, you were fooling yourself and me. Is that it, huh? You don't love me anymore?!"

"Of course I do!" I cried out, looking back at her.

I surprised myself too. Of course I still loved her. I've loved her for four long and excruciating years, and the emotions I invested just couldn't be erased. But now, the obsession was gone. The need to save her was gone. The dream for her was gone. All that was left was love, compassion, care. The emotions that attached me to her even if we were countries away, the fatal obsession that made me hold on to her even if she kept me hanging, they began to whittle down months ago, and now they disappeared. There was not an inch of me that still wanted to hold on to that kind of love that only hurt me, poisoned me, brought me hell.

"Shouldn't that be enough? I love you too. And you love me too. That should be enough!" she shouted, now crying. Her words were my exact words to her every time we fought about our relationship before. While crying, she suddenly chuckled and added, "It's ironic how I hated it when you said that before, yet I'm the one saying it now."

"I can't have you if I want to have my wife and child," I admitted to her, and those words marked the beginning of me taking that one huge leap, and finally landing.

Leaps that I planned, leaps that I made, yet I still hung on midair trying to reach my destination. There were tens of leaps I needed to make to get to Taeyeon and Jiwon. Difficult jumps, painful moves, a journey full of sacrifices. Yet I needed to go through all those sufferings just to be where my family was. In the last few days when I attempted to make my leaps, I couldn't land. But now that my wife and child were on their way to Jeonju, I couldn't stay on midair, or land back to where I came from. I needed to jump and land to a place closest to where they were.

And with Kiko, I just made my first land.

"I want to be with Taeyeon and Jiwon," I told her, reiterating my very leap that would slice her heart out.

" you," she whispered angrily, almost in a hiss.

Kiko stood up and walked around the room, holding her head. She was shaking, and I knew that the pills were now giving her a bad ride.

"Wife? You want your wife?! What, I'm not enough for you? You love me, and you want your wife too?! you! you Jiyong! you!"

She came back to where she originally was, sitting on the table so that she was facing me. She then began to hit me, push me, hurt me, constantly shouting her s away to me.

"How can you do this to me?! You gave me the world! You fixed my life for me! You gave me a purpose! And now you're just going to leave me like trash?! HOW IS THIS FAIR TO ME?"

"HOW IS THIS FAIR TO MY CHILD? UNLIKE YOU, SHE'S TRULY HELPLESS, AND SHE NEEDS ME MORE THAN YOU DO!"

Kiko's reason for wanting me, they sounded so selfish to me. Did she ever love me for who I was? Or was it because of the convenience, the comfort, the direction, I provided her? In our four-year long relationship, I did nothing but everything for her. I supported her, provided for her, accepted her, fixed her, loved her, became such a fool and a slave for her. I realized that though she hurt because of the distance, though she hurt because of my fans, I was the one who gave more, invested more, loved more.

"You gave me air to breathe, a direction to follow, a reason to live, a dream to look forward to. You're everything that I am Jiyong!" with that, she stopped hitting me, her hands resting on my shoulder. She held on to my face and forcefully kissed me, and I didn't have any heart to stop her. "You can't leave me. Please don't leave me. I love you. I love you so much."

She wouldn't stop kissing, and she pathetically kissed every part of my face, my lips mostly. I allowed her to do that, and I just looked at her with much sorry and pity.

"I'll give you a child. I'll turn my back on everything too. What do I have to do so you'll pick me? You have to pick me! We had four years together! How can five months just erase all that?"

"I'm sorry Kiko. I'm so sorry."

But she shook her head and said, "I'm sorry if I hurt you before, okay? I'm sorry that I broke your heart. I'm sorry that I made you chase me. I'm sorry that I left you hanging and turned you round and round."

She kissed me once more, this time more passionate and forceful, and this time longer. She was moving her tongue on mine, and even wrapped her arm on my neck. Though I didn't stop her, I did not respond either. Now that I've landed from that leap, everything just came easy. My mind and my heart became clearer than they ever were.

When she noticed that I was not responding at all, she eventually stopped. Yet she let our faces stay close like that. While still holding me, she begged, "I'm so sorry Jiyong... Please forgive me... and don't leave me..."

"I've forgiven you a long time ago. I love you too much to stay angry at you. But I can't stay with you anymore."

That made her break down in tears in front of me. Slowly, she let my body go, and eventually sat on the space next to me. Kiko looked far and cried on her own, loudly, hardly, her sounds breaking my heart. It was the hardest breakup I ever had to do. The most painful. The most difficult. To let go of a four-year investment, a four-year dream, a woman who I once wanted to grow old with, it was hurting me too. It felt like I was letting go of a huge part of myself. There was still a part of me that wanted to stay, that wanted to hold on to the past, because I feared that letting go of that Kwon Jiyong would make the new Kwon Jiyong weaker. How should I live the next days with only half of me? Mizuhara Kiko became my other half for so long, that letting her go also meant letting half of me go.

"Do you love Taeyeon?" Kiko spoke again.

And her question came just right in time. As I feared how to rebuild myself now that I let Kiko go, she said the name of the very person that could make me whole. Just the sound of Taeyeon's name eased the pain, relieved the fears, comforted my anxiety. As I feared how to go by the next years of my life when half my heart was lost, I knew that if Taeyeon and Jiwon would be by my side, I'd be as good as whole. And soon, I would become whole again.

"Kwon Jiyong, do you love your wife? I can understand why you'd want to stay with your child. But Kim Taeyeon... do you love her too?" Kiko angrily asked when I answered her first question with silence.

"Yes. I love her. I love her very much," I admitted to her, and more so, to myself.

It took me seven weeks of being apart with Taeyeon to realize that I loved her. In the five months that we were together, Taeyeon was able to remove all the hate, the bitterness, and vengefulness in my heart. She made me forget that I needed to hurt Kiko back just as much so Kiko could love me again. She made me forget that I regretted loving Kiko, that it hurt that Kiko turned down the future I planned. Taeyeon gave me everything Kiko was too selfish to give. For a long time, I looked at her as the replacement, the second best, the substitute, the temporary wife. But what I didn't realize was that her goodness made me forget that our marriage was staged, that it would end, that I loved another woman. Taeyeon made me feel that our marriage was real, that my future was within reach, that my dreams were being realized.

"You love her, you love me, but there should always be one who you love more. You love me more, right? R-right?" Kiko begged, holding my face and forcing me to look at her. I refused to look at her, and this was more than enough as an answer for her. "No! You only think you love her more because she's giving you the future you want! But you love me more! Remember? Ride or die. Jiyong and Kiko for eternity. Jiyong, you said you remember all that! So you love me more! Tell me you love me more!"

I shook my head repeatedly, also tearing up. It was also killing me to do this to the woman I once offered my life to. Kiko became my mirror in all those years, so hurting her was like hurting the old me. Yet I needed to hurt the old Jiyong to free the new Jiyong. The Jiyong who deserved Kim Taeyeon and Kwon Jiwon.

"TELL ME YOU LOVE ME MORE AND I CAN TAKE ANY PAIN, AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING! JUST TELL ME YOU LOVE ME MORE!'!"

"I love Taeyeon and Jiwon the most. I'm so sorry Kiko."

That night, I have successfully let go of the past. But not without hurting everyone in that past -- Kiko, and most especially, my old self. And in doing so, I have successfully landed from that first giant leap.

~*~

PUBLIC CRIES FOR G-DRAGON'S RESIGNATION FROM BIG BANG

1. [+5673 / -1039] GO TO THE ARMY AND REPENT! ACTUALLY, NO, JUST GO TO HELL! I CAN'T BELIEVE VIPs ARE STILL BLINDLY SHIELDING THIS DISGUSTING MAN! WHILE SONES ALREADY TURNED THEIR BACKS ON TAEYEON, THIS COWARD IS STILL HIDING BEHIND HIS FAN ARMY AND FRIENDS!

YG-LIFE TO POST AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT BIG BANG SOON

1. [+5673 / -1039] Listen YG, this better be the announcement of G-dragon's departure. I won't ever listen to a Big Bang song with GD's voice and production. I can respect Taeyang, TOP, and even Daesung and Seungri. But if they're with G-dragon, never mind!

~*~

"Just wait a little bit more! I'll get to where you and Jiwon are, I promise!"

Just little bit more. All I needed was a little time, and soon I would have taken those giant leaps to be where you are.

I watched her walk away from me again, and with a heavy heart, I walked back to where my friends were. Suddenly, our once noisy crowd became still, the loud music coating their silence. I looked at them one by one, and found that all of them all wore that same face. The face that asked me why I chased my wife. The face that asked me why I walked out on them. The face that asked me why my own face was showing them anger and disgust.

Because I was so angry and disgusted at how they behaved tonight.

"Jiyong, what the was that? Honey? Mom? Where the hell is your girlfriend?" Yoon asked me angrily, very much confrontational.

"You're supposed to be divorcing your wife and treating Kiko right! So why are you chasing after that woman while Kiko's not here?" Seungho also angrily asked.

"We're done. Kiko and I are over for good. We broke up two days ago," I calmly answered, controlling my anger. I didn't want to lash out on them in such a public place. Yet the look they gave me, the sounds and side comments they made, they only angered me more!

"And all of you, you can't treat my wife in that ty manner ever again! If you can't respect Taeyeon, then what we have... it's also over!"

"Bro, the is this?!" Daniel exclaimed.

"You're old enough to know what's right and what's wrong. I am too, so I know that this is not right. I've been trying to tell you all this since Busan, but I was too cowardly to do it. It took another moment like this when you disrespected my wife for me to be able to tell you this to your faces! I can't be friends with anyone who treats my wife like !"

I tried to tone down my voice, to stop myself, because now people were giving us the looks. Yet there was just no way of saying this in a calm manner. That night, I landed from my second giant leap that I started making in Busan. Now that I have landed, it just seemed all the more easier to walk as far away as possible from this very place I was running away from.

"I'd really like to keep all of you as my best friends. But if you can't respect Kim Taeyeon, there's nothing for us here, and going forward. I can forgive you for treating her like crap on our wedding day. But for bullying her in public, for causing another round of media fiasco during her delicate pregnancy, for not feeling one bit sorry for doing so... I don't think I can get past that."

"Don't be overly dramatic Kwon Jiyong. We're all friends here, so we can sit down and talk about this," Soojoo noona explained, coming closer to me and shielding me from the Lee Soohyuk and Peter Chun.

"Dude, you broke up with Kiko again when you know she'd be lost without you?!" Xin confronted, also forming a fist.

"She's going to kill herself Jiyong, don't do this," Yoon muttered, this time in a calmer fashion. "You've broken her enough, and to break her again... she's not going to make it."

"Kiko's also old enough to know her life does not revolve around me."

"Wow, that's ing ty, you know that right?! You're being a selfish bastard, breaking a woman's heart over and over again!" Daniel shouted so loud, and this was the first time he ever raised his voice on me.

"If you do this, we're over too," Soohyuk warned me. Their loyalty to Kiko was very much admirable, yet I couldn't help but feel hurt at how willing they were to stop being friends with me.

"Then I'm sorry to hear that," I replied.

"That's it? All these years are coming to this? That's ing it for us?" Xin asked in a disbelieving tone, shaking his head on me.

"It doesn't have to be! We all need to take all these away and talk once we're not drunk and angry," Soojoo noona shouted, looking at all the parties. "Xin, Daniel, you were really out of line with Taeyeon and her friends tonight. You owe all of them, especially Jay's ex, an apology. Goddamnit, if you treated Taeyeon tily during their wedding party, then apologize for that too! As for the rest of you, it was really uncool of you to have posted those things in your public SNS profiles. You owe Jiyong's wife an apology. You owe Jiyong an apology."

None of us spoke a word, but my heart raised with so much appreciation for Park Soojoo in this moment of time.

"Jiyong, you can't just turn your back on your friends because you broke up with our friend. We're not friends with either of you because of each other. For Pete's sake, we've known each of you way before you two got together!"

But even if Soojoo noona was making all the sense in the world, to see my friends not looking any bit apologetic only confirmed that the leap I made was correct. I was glad I finally landed once more.

"Forgiving me and accepting me for hurting Kiko is one thing. But to accept and respect my wife is another thing. I'm going to sound like a real jackass here, but Taeyeon, Jiwon and I come as a package. If you can't respect all of us, then I'm afraid we've reached a wall. The wall."

"Walk out on us and there's no turning back," this time, it was Seungho who warned me.

"Kiko's not going to wait for you forever. You've hurt her and made her wait enough. I hope you realize that," Verbal said.

"I know that," I replied. I breathed in and out and rested my mind for a while. "Kiko and I are over. Take care of her. She'd need her friends at this time."

With that, I turned my back and began to walk away from the stunned crowd of my old friends.

" you bro!"

"That's an move Kwon!"

"You'll regret this dude!"

But I didn't dare turn back. I was two leaps closer to getting my family back. I needed to make a run for it while I was on the way.

"Jiyong wait!" I heard Soojoo noona shouting. She followed me in the parking lot. I looked back and saw her catching up to me. "They're going to get over it. They just need time. You know your friends, they're brats, but in the end, they'd always be there for you."

"Thank you noona, for being the only matured person in this group."

She smiled at me and gave me a hug. In her ear, I whispered, "Please don't tell my managers I left early."

She nodded and let me go. "Go get your wife and child. Say hello to them for me."

And that night, I did get on the road to get to Taeyeon and Jiwon, two leaps, two lands, closer to becoming that man who deserved them.

~*~

SM AND YG AT WAR ABOUT KIM-KWON STAGED MARRIAGE

1. [+5673 / -1039] Lol SM's cleaning their asses now. But I could see how YG came up with this. They are much more dependent on GD than SM ever was to Taeyeon. Glad SNSD OT8 is away from this funky mess Taeyeon put herself in.

TAEYEON'S RELATIONS WITH FELLOW MALE IDOLS IN HOT WATERS

1. [+5673 / -1039] She is a sly fox, pretending to be a saint, pretending to be depressed, only to be bedded by idols after idols after idols -- Junsu -- Kangin -- Siwon -- Leeteuk -- Wooyoung -- Junhyung -- G-dragon -- now Baekhyun. I can't believe I ever idolized you! You traitor! Betrayer! ! Using your fans to fool the public! I am glad you're no longer SNSD!

~*~

Finally, I found them.

It only took me breaking my one vow to her to find out where she was. She would hate me for doing this again, especially since she'd been pushing me away for every time I found out where she was. That night, though she made me promise her I would never turn the GPS locator on for her, I broke my vow once more. And like an expert  sasaeng, I was able to corner her in that Apkujeong alleyway.

Angrily, she pulled her car in the curbside and angrily got out of her two-seater convertible Mercedes Benz.

"Are you crazy?!" she shouted, walking towards my direction.

I had just exited my own Lamborghini. I watched her huge 27-week old stomach looming closer, and I felt longing for Jiwon more than ever. I hated myself for letting her grow that big outside my supervision.

"You almost killed me, Jiwon, and Baekhyun! What's wrong with you?!"

Baekhyun? Oh yeah, that kid she left the party with, that kid that covered the headlines with her. He caused my wife and child another mess of its own, so I looked at him sternly. She watched us from inside Taeyeon's car. To see him on the passenger seat only reminded me how disgusted I was at the way they were captured by the paparazzi. Taeyeon was being awfully endearing, caring, and all noona-like to him in all those photos. I hated that my wife was showing such affection for someone other than myself. Even if the kid was three years younger than her, I couldn't discount that he was already a man. I also watched him exit Taeyeon's car, and I felt insulted that he acted as of he needed to guard my wife from me.

"Can we talk for a second? Please?" I begged of her. I addressed the kid inside and shouted, "Yah, how can you let your senior, who's 7-months pregnant, drive for you at night?!"

I saw how the young man feared my confrontation, and Taeyeon angrily exclaimed, "He's a hoobae I care about so don't treat him like that!"

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter