~*~

TAEYEON-GD-KIKO SAGA FLAMES WORLDWIDE WEB

1. [+4520 / -440] Holy . Who would have thought this country will have its own Diana-Charles-Camilla story?

IS THE NATION'S IDOL COUPLE MARRIAGE A FAKE?

1. [+4390 / -299] Nation's idol couple my as*! Obviously they got married to fool the public. And here we were fooled to forgive them about partying drunk and getting knocked up outside marriage. Turns out Taeyeon is really a cheap girl. This is their karma for thinking they can one-up us and lie to the whole world! WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!

SM AND YG REFUSE TO ADDRESS JIYONG-TAEYEON STAGED MARRIAGE!

1. [+3742 / -182] I can sense the board members wanting to commit suicide from here. Who's the genius in SM or YG who thought a staged marriage can fool us all? Even if fans proved the legality of this marriage, I think the right thing to do is to divorce!

~*~

The world rotated like normal. The industry worked as expected. The news circulated. The scandal grew bigger. The fire caught on. And while reality just existed as it should, here I was, an empty barren, watching everything passively. I should rotate like normal, work as expected, exist with reality, read the news, dissipate the scandal. But I had no strength. No will. No health. My mind, my body, my emotions, every little bit of me was beaten.

I was tired of it all.

"Taeyeon? This is Kwon appa. We want to see you and talk to you. Are you okay? Are you healthy? We do not believe anything we read and hear. We have to discuss this as a family, so please talk to your elders, kid. Call me and I will pick you up."

It was touching to hear the concerns of Jiyong's father. But at the same time, it was tiring. It only drained me. To know that the news and scandal have reached even Kwon Younghwan, the most technologically-challenged person I knew, my heart ached. The whole family knew. My worst fear, it was realized. This scandal was hurting our family again.

And true to what I told Jiyong on my goodbye letter, my family's pain really could kill me and baby girl.

"My child, I can't even begin to think what you're feeling right now. I want to be there for you and my grandchild. Just go home and let's face this as a family. Your mother and I, we have a thousand of questions! But most of all, we just want to see you and make sure you're alright! Call appa, okay? I love you my Taeyeon. I'll be waiting for you."

It wasn't Jiyong's fault. He was careful, like I asked him too. It was his careless friends' fault, as they opted to bash on me publicly. It was Kiko's fault, because she chose to post allusions to her reunion with my husband. It was my fault, best of all, for triggering their actions. I should not have alluded to the loneliness I was feeling in any of my SNS posts.

At this point, I blamed Jiyong's friends and Kiko. I hated them. I didn't want to hate anyone, but all I felt was anger and hatred towards them. These negative feelings were straining me, weighing me down. All I felt in my heart was absolute loathing for all of them.

But the worst part was that I also blamed and hated myself. I was so angry. I couldn't forgive myself. This was all my fault. This pain, this scandal, it's all my goddamn fault.

"Why are you holding back on me? We said we'd never hold back, so why are you building these walls between us? I'm your husband, you're my wife, there should never be a line! Don't hold back on me!"

"Let's end this all? What do you mean? Don't say that hon. There's no end! I don't want us to end! This is not ending! We just need to talk about this and sort things out! I don't want you to think about the end, it's bad for you, it's bad for baby girl. Just... let's go home... honey please..."

I laughed, I cried, I felt pathetic, I felt even more angry. It's because I blamed and hated everyone else, including myself. Yet there was not an ounce of anger in my heart for my husband. It could be because I carried his flesh and blood. It could be because he was nothing but kind to me. It could be anything else. But as I sat there in a hotel room alone, hugging baby girl, wetting my lap with my free tears, I knew that there was only one reason why I could never hate the father of my child.

I've fallen into that darkest pit of them all. That hole where there was no turning back or climbing out. That hell were pain was constant, inevitable. That place... where I admitted to mysel... that I loved him with every bit of me.

And there was no saving myself from that hell.

~*~

@jiwoongkim posted:

Stop. Just stop. My sister is pregnant and very fragile. This media mess... it will hurt her and our baby. If you do not stop, we will prosecute the infiltrators of such groundless rumors.

@kwondami_ posted:

Divorce... do not use such a word. Our Kwon and Kim families are hurting... our soft and fragile Taeyeon... our poor baby girl... they are the true victims here! Please stop your malicious content or we'll sue! Whoever you are, friend or netizen, co-worker or fan, you are endangering two lives! THERE IS NO DIVORCE OR STAGED MARRIAGE!

@kimhayeon posted:

I don't want my unnie to bleed again, or be depressed again. What was wrong about being happy with friends that she had to be judged as inconsiderate or a drama queen? You do not know all the sufferings she's been through in this pregnancy. I'm just a kid, but I politely beg you to stop misjudging a pregnant woman!

KIM AND KWON SIBLINGS THREATEN MALICIOUS POSTERS

1. [+4520 / -440] Not as a Sone or as a VIP, but just as a human being. Please think about how this media circus can strain a pregnant woman and a 6-month old fetus. If baby girl does not survive this, it would be partly our fault! Please rethink your words and actions. Kim Taeyeon, stay strong and healthy! God is good.

~*~

"We have to go home best. Aunt Kim called me and begged me to bring you home. You know I can't lie or disobey your parents. They're like my parents too."

Stephanie Hwang begged of me for the umpeenth time. Today, we just moved to a hotel, afraid that our friends and my family would find me in her house. After the confrontation with Jiyong, I was left a mess, a bubble. She didn't know what to do with me. But like any good friend would, Hwang Miyoung did as I asked of her.

I wasn't ready to go home. Not when I was in pieces like this.

"Everyone's asking, and they are all ready to defend you. All our friends can fight for you and baby girl in this war. Jiyong and Kiko don't have to be the only ones hiding behind their friends. If they want cyber-bullying, we'll give them that! I'll even open up a Twitter, Instagram and Weibo account just to defend you!"

But amidst her positivity, her reinforcements, and her motivations, I was still speechless. Unmoving. Staring at nowhere. Sat at that small couch, facing the city. Quiet. Crying. Thinking. Still. Sunlight. Sunset. A day has passed, and I was exactly where she left me.

"Just tell me what you want us to do. Best..." she begged, this time, crying.

She went back to SM for a while, and when she came back, she told me she dropped everything in her schedule for the next two days. As if that was possible. But at this point in time when SNSD's future was on the line, the SM's headquarter was probably in bat turmoil. The scandal would surely to affect them. That just added to the reason why I was unable to move from the spot she left me in.

"Taeyeon... I know that you already fell into this hole. So now. take my hand and climb back. I'll bring you out of this," but I was out of any response. I did not even look at her. The gravity of the scandal, the fear of what's coming, thinking of how hurt my friends and family were, they disabled every bit of nerve in my body, and I was left lifeless. "Hey... best... you're scaring me. You're not trapped or stuck! I will take you out!"

Tiffany just dragged another chair beside me, and she sat in front of me, blocking the view of Seoul. When our eyes met, all I could feel was thankfulness that there was such a person who was there to be with me in this moment of grief. Yes, I was grieving. And Tiffany Hwang was there in the process. It was an understatement to say she was just my best friend. This person who dropped everything in her schedule just to take me away from the chaos was as close as a sister to me. My soulmate. My family.

"The whole world already knows, even if you don't confirm it. Our friends, they already have an inkling. Everyone's polishing their ammunitions for you. SM Town, all our friends in the industry, they're here for you. And on top of that, your family wants answers! They will go to hell just to defend you! So go home Taeyeon. Go home and be with your family."

At the mention of my home, of my family, I snapped back of it. Perhaps, the biggest thing that was disabling me was the fear of my family. I feared my parents' anger. I feared my siblings' tears. I feared the Kwons' pains. I was traumatized beyond words about how this scandal was torturing my whole family.

"I don't want to go home Steph. I I'm... s-scared..." I spoke for the first time since she came back, and it was only to beg her and cry even harder. She panicked at the sight of my tears, and I sensed that she'd bawl her eyes out too. "I d-don't want to talk to him... I c-can't see him again...

"Ssssssshhh. A-arasseo. We won't go home if you don't want to."

"I'm so sc-scared... d-don't leave me Fany. Please don't leave me... And don't bring me home yet."

"I won't leave you, I promise," she told me, tearing up quietly. Then, she stood up and leaned forward to take me into her arms, until my face was just rested on her chest. "If you're not ready to see him again, I understand. I d-don't want to put you in an impossible spot."

Yes, it would be an impossible spot. Going home to my family meant seeing Jiyong again. I was positive that the next time I saw him, I would just crumble into billion littler pieces. How should we face our family when our secret as husband and wife was headlining the nightly news of all the major networks?

"I know you love him best. It was foolish of me to think you didn't. I saw it in your eyes earlier," Fany muttered, staring back at me in the dark. We were now flat on our backs on the hotel bed, getting ready to sleep. "I see it in you now. All I ask is that you don't stay into that pit and think you can't climb back."

"I d-don't want to think... it hurts a lot... H-how can I face my family? My friends?" I began to tear up again. All day, I was not able to calm down. It felt as if I needed a downer, an anti-depressant, just to be able to seize from crying. I found myself standing up and getting overwhelmed by the sadness again. "What do I tell them? H-how can I face the public? This is too much... It's too much best..."

"Baby girl is only 25 weeks old, she's much too young to come out of you! You need to find the strength and the will to come out of this grief. Take my hand and climb back, please Tae?"

She embraced me again, and she added, "I love you best. Just climb up with me, huh?"

"Take it away Steph. Please take it away. I just want it all to end! I d-don't want to wake up and feel this! I c-can't face this anymore. This s-scandal... it'll break me... I'm afraid for baby girl. We won't survive this!"

"My god best, what's h-happening t-to you? B-best please don't do this... d-don't break down like this..."

There was no calming me down, and that night, both Hwang Miyoung and I cried in each other's arms, literally all night.

~*~

@Sunnyday515 tweeted:

A culture of bullying... what does that reflect about our generation? And worse, cyber-bullying... This is a sad state of this age. If you feel like like you earned the littlest right to bully someone, may you rot in hell!

Photo of all 11 Exo members lined up

There's a reason why everyone in Exo adore Taeyeon noona. When we were trainees, she always brought us good, encouraged us, and cheered for us. She was the one who taught us bullying is never an option. We won't stand for noona being bullied.

@watasiwahyo posted:

Photo of Taeyeon and Hyoyeon

I am immensely saddened that people who don't know Taeyeon can easily call her names. Our kind Taeyeon -- called a drama queen, unclassy, inconsiderate. Did you spend a decade with her? Has she done anything bad to you? If not, what right do you have to use such terms to describe her?

@kimheenim posted:

Photo of all eleven Super Junior members with Lt. Jungsu in the middle

Drama queen? I'll show you who's the real drama queen. It's me! Anyone who attacks Taeyeon can come to me. And half these men had military training.

@sjhsjh0628 tweeted:

Let me tell you this about my Taeyeon unnie -- she's never spoken ill of anyone in her life. She's never misjudged anyone. She's selfless. She's generous. She puts others before herself. That is Kim Taeyeon, and you don't know half about her.

@realjonghyun90 tweeted:

I wish the people who bullied Taeyeon would realize the scandal they created. It's a scandal that can potentially harm a mother and child with grief. I can compare them to murderers who plot to kill someone. It's not right. You fueled a scandal so big that it's hurting a lot of people. Have the decency to apologize.

SM TOWN DECLARES WAR AGAINST G-DRAGON'S FRIENDS

1. [+4520 / -440] JYP Nation and YG family are joining the crusade. Now everyone in Kpop's posting about cyber-bullying. If you come to think of it, it's really G-dragon's friends that started this war. I salute Taeyeon's friends for standing up for her without being upfront, unlike cowardly-G-dragon's friends who were all ambiguous.

SONES VS VIPS -- THE WAR OF THE FANDOMS HEIGHTEN

1.  [+4390 / -299] VIPs still think oppa didn't mean it? Wake up fools, your idol is an adulterer who's cheating on his pregnant wife! The society will persecute you if you still shield this cowardly . He can't even defend his wife. The VIP fandom has now been ostracized. It's VIPs versus the world. Good luch.

MIZUHARA KIKO, BEN BALLER,  LEE SOOHYUK, M-FLO'S VERBAL, AND MORE PRIVATIZE SNS ACCOUNTS

1. [+3742 / -182] The Sone fandom would like to thank the other domestic and global fandoms for helping us punish these perpetrators. They should be bullied the way they bullied Taeyeon. As Sunny said, MAY YOU ROT IN HELL!

~*~

Another day has gone, and I felt calmer. I felt better. As I felt baby girl constantly kicking me, that became like a sign to me. Even she got tired of my tears. I stopped the tears. Today, I vowed to think clearer. To decide. To take leaps. To prepare just what to tell my family.

Today, there shan't be any tears.

"Taeyeon..."

But that voice... a voice I have not heard in three months... that voice alone already triggered all sorts of sad memories. Then I felt myself tearing up again. My morning mantra just became pointless.

"O-oppa?"

"Hi. How are you?"

He smiled at me, wearing that very manly marine uniform. The very same clothing he wore on that day of our painful goodbye.

"No one else can better understand,"