~*~

TAEYEON RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR EXCESSIVE BLEEDING

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] Oh my god. She's 14 weeks far along. This is still a very dangerous stage. Let's all pray for her health.

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] Can the haters please die in their sleep? This is a child's life and a mother's life at stake! If you can't say a silent prayer for them, get out!

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] Heard 5000 VIPs and Sones are gathered in the national park for a prayer vigil right now. Prayers and thoughts with you!

G-DRAGON'S 119 CALL MAKES HEADLINES

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] Are people really putting him on a chopping block for this? I'd react the same way if my wife and child were in danger! I can forgive his dirty tongue and lack of manners this time.

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] He was never your average Lee Seunggi-clean type anyway. But to hear him cuss out angrily like that, he became more attractive in my eyes. Especially since he was being such a badass to save his wife and baby.

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] Yeah he's under fire. Good fire. It's time for the government to review 119 procedures. We don't have time to answer routine question when people are dying in our arms.

SCANDALS HAUNT NEWLY WEDS KIM-KWON

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] Clearly Taeyeon got depressed and stressed from the adultery. Jiyong, you're killing your family. Forget about that Japanese model.

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] Cheater! If your child dies, it's your karma for cheating on Taeyeon.

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] I reported all the accounts with malicious comments to SM and YG. You've been warned.

~*~

"The baby is still with us."

When Aunt Choi said those six words, I felt an incredible relief sweep through my whole body. My mother and Kwon umma also cried out so emotionally on each of my side. I caught my chest and recovered my labored breathings, and I felt Hayeon caress my back and shoulder, consoling me. She, too, was crying.

It had been so difficult to cope up with living and breathing since I woke up two hours ago. I had been asleep for so long, ad I vividly remembered desperately wanting to come out of that dreamless sleep. I expected baby girl to visit my dreams, but she didn't. That only scared me during the whole two days that I was medically-induced to sleep. I wanted to wake up earlier, because every hour of sleep without her with me made those moments of rest unbearable. And during the sleep, I also didn't know whether baby girl and I we're still one in real life.

We are one. We are still one. Thank you baby girl, for staying.

I cried silently to myself. I was very much short of breath, because I just came from a short bout of a panic attack the moment I woke up. It took both Kwon and Kim umma's touches to calm me down. And I suddenly wondered where Jiyong was.

But the moment I looked to the side of the door, there he was, just coming from a rushed run. He also caught his breath, and seeing his mother and my mother's tears and laughter of joy and thanks, he also sighed so strongly. He held on his two head and cried, he teared up. Kwon Jiyong broke out in calmed cries, covering his face and shaking his head as he turned his back on us, hiding his emotions. I saw Kwon appa taking his son in his arms, patting his back like a father did a son.

I was already done crying, but to see Jiyong's happiness upon learning of this news just weakened my defense. I sobbed again, feeling more emotional as I realized that not only Jiyong was crying. Not only our mothers. Even our two fathers, our two sisters, and my very strong Jiwoong oppa, were in tears.

"Taeyeon and our 14-week old baby are both dangerously unhealthy. Mommy's uterus is not a comfortable home for the child. To put it in layman's terms, her womb is constantly rejecting the baby. We have to do everything in our power to keep the child holding on to it.

This wiped off the smiles on everyone's faces, and almost immediately, Dami noona and Jiyong shot questions after questions to my aunt. I, too, wondered just what it meant exactly. I felt my heartbeat slowed down, and I was feeling the shortness of my breath again.

"Taeyeon absolutely cannot afford another emotional breakdown that would strain her vigor and health. Extreme depression is causing Taeyeon appetite loss, lack of stamina, and insomnia. All the crying, over-thinking, stressing out, they are aggravating her frail body. Her mind has to be free of any sort of burden, worry, or stress."

I witnessed how altogether, our family members crooked their foreheads in confusion. As far as they knew, I wasn't sad anymore about my departure from SNSD. I lied to them, saying my Love & Peace attendance freed my heart of the pain. I lied to them, saying that my marriage to Jiyong soothed my heart from the scandal. All this time, our elders believed that I was happy and healthy, all thanks to Kwon Jiyong.  So I understood how they could be left wondering just what would trigger this near-miscarriage.

"This is a task, a responsibility, for everyone in the family. Invite her friends often, take her out of the city for a getaway, buy her all the food or material things she desires, give her everything that's going to make her happy. Best of all, do not make her upset in any way. If need be, force-feed her and force-medicate her, and always bring her to the therapy sessions."

Jiyong nodded for every word Dr. Choi said, as if he was mentally taking notes.

"I really hate to be the bearer of the bad news. But I am marking Taeyeon's pregnancy as code red. It is very delicate, and it would need all of our efforts to save her and our baby Kwon.

With that, Aunt Choi embraced me and took off, leaving me with our whole family. I must have been staring at nowhere, because I heard Kwon umma calling my name, and saw Kim umma waving her hand in front of me. For some reasons, I just dozed off on everyone. My mind suddenly wandered, worrying once more about what my obstetrician just said. Any other wrong move and I would lose the best and most beautiful thing in my life.

I became so scared that I didn't realize I was quietly tearing up once more, still staring blankly at nowhere, completely shut off from the world.

I even slid on the hospital bed, laying flat on it once more, clutching the sheets. I became so scared, and I feared that any wrong thing I said, I any wrong thing I did, would trigger another loss. I couldn't afford committing one mistake. Could I shut up until my due date? Could I stay on my bed and do nothing until her delivery day? I needed her to stay here, stay put, stay alive, and stay healthy. I was deep in my thoughts and fears when I finally realized that our whole family, and Jiyong, already left me alone in the room, dimming the lights. They shut the door, and I closed my eyes, wanting to sleep just so I didn't have to be awake to do or say anything wrong.

The sleep came, but didn't last. Still, baby girl evaded my dreams. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that the door was ajar, revealing the living room outside this hospital suite. I didn't even realize I was not just in a room, but a suite. And there outside, my parents and Jiyong's parents were seated together on the couch.

Just then, Jiyong also appeared within my vision as he approached the couch and stood before our elders. To my surprise...

...he kneeled down and bowed to our four parents, almost kissing the ground in each of his attempt. When he was down, he stayed kneeled on the ground, his head bowed so humbly.

"I'm taking responsibility for what happened. It's true that Taeyeon was alone in Prague during the first three days of our honeymoon. I went to Japan to be with..."

No. Don't say that Jiyong. Don't ruin your perfect image in my family's eyes.

"...Kiko."

But he already did. I saw his parents and Dami unnie's shocked expressions, the two women holding their chests. On the other hand, my parents reacted in the opposite manner.

"Who is Kiko?" asked my mother.

"Son, how dare you do this? I am very disappointed with you!" Kwon umma screamed so loud, close to crying. She faced my parents and said, "In-laws, I am apologizing in behalf of my son."

"That was very disrespectful to your wife! When did I teach you to break the laws of God just days following your wedding?" Kwon appa also shouted, and this was the very first time I saw him livid.

"Who is Kiko and why were you with her?" now it was my father who asked, even more confused at the way his in-laws reacted.

"She's my girlfriend... before Taeyeon and I got married..." Jiyong admitted, again bowing in apology, still unable to meet my family's gazes. "I'm sorry Kim umma, Kim appa, Jiwoong, and Hayeon. I'm bowing deeply with my deepest regret and shame. I was on the wrong. I didn't take care of your daughter and grandchild. Please forgive me."

Jiyong's forehead remained touching the ground, letting his last bow linger. I heard Jiwoong oppa's gritted tone when he said, "If I didn't respect your parents very much, I would have hurt you right now--"

"Kim Jiwoong!" umma called him off, yet this time, Hayeon was the one who delicately cried out, "How can you hurt my unnie, oppa? I idolized you very much! I trusted you with my sister!"

"Are you still seeing your girlfriend? Do you intend to continue seeing her outside this marriage?" Kim appa asked consecutively, anger and disbelief coating his words.

"No, Kim appa," Jiyong answered, shaking his head while he lifted his head off the ground. This time, he looked up to meet my parents's eyes. "We met in Tokyo to end things permanently. I can promise you I wouldn't cheat on your daughter from this day forward."

I couldn't explain why I found sheer joy in hearing Jiyong's promise to my parents. Did he really mean it? Or was he just trying to get away with being caught?

My parents, his parents, and our elder siblings all took turns in telling him the things he failed on, reminding him the things he did wrong, and advising him of things he could do better. They reprimanded him a long time, and I heard each and every word of that one-hour confession and lecture. I felt so bad for Jiyong, because he surely did not deserve to take all the blame for this last incident.

Because although he caused my depression the first three times, this fourth bleeding of mine wasn't entirely on him. I met up with an ex-boyfriend secretly. This ex-lover broke up with me once more. Park Jungsu said goodbye to me once more. If anything, my sadness that night, my heartache that night, from the one last goodbye that night, possibly triggered this failed miscarriage a fourth time.

I'm sorry, Jiyong. This time, it's my fault. But I didn't have the heart, or the courage, to ever tell him. How could I, when he already took responsibility for everything?

~*~

TAEYEON'S PREGNANCY REVEALED TO BE IN GRAVE DANGER

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] SNSD gone. SM gone. Fame gone. Boyfriend gone. Fans gone. Husband gone (cheater!). Who wouldn't be depressed?

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] The nasty rumors took a toll on Taeyeon. In the last six weeks since the pregnancy scandal broke out, nothing but malicious stories and accounts filled the Internet about her and GD. I would be strained too!

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] Taeyeon's the victim here. Those who call her a / for marrying your cheater "oppa" shotgun, what would you have done?

YG AND SM ESTABLISH TASK FORCE AGAINST ADULTERY RUMORS SURROUNDING G-DRAGON AND TAEYEON

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] That cheating bastard! If you couldn't love her or be faithful to her, why marry her?

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] I'll kill that skinny Japanese ! Don't ever step foot on Korea where everyone has the license to hurt you.

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] Jiyong did not cheat, thus the lawsuits and task force! Can't people understand?!

G-DRAGON APOLOGIZES TO WIFE, CHILD, AND MORE

@xxxibgdrgn posted:

Photo of pregnant Taeyeon in watching the Prague sunset

For letting you feel this pain, I'm so sorry. I've been a bad husband. I've been an even worse father. I'll be a better man for you and baby girl. #sorry #family

@IBGDRGN tweeted:

To Taeyeon's family, friends, and fans, I bow in deepest shame ad apology that this happened to her. I will do everything in my power to make sure this won't happen again. Let's all pray for the health of my wife and our baby.

1. [+69,322 / -5,421] So he's confirming his adultery? YOU!! SON OF A , YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE SUFFERING AND NOT YOUR WIFE AND CHILD!

2. [+59,123 / -2,176] He's not confirming it. Read idiots! He's apologizing for the stress the controversies caused, and it's all because of haters like you!

3. [+56,325 / -3,537] Yea but he's not denying it either.

~*~

Two more days in the hospital, and still I refused to talk. I would say a few words of acknowledgement, or answer some questions with short words, but I did not talk talk. I was so scared to set off anything -- not words, not emotions, not stories, not anything. I became so careful, so traumatized, so afraid that any sort of emotion would harm baby girl again.

And our families became so distant too, afraid to force me, or pressure me, or hurt me. So even if I didn't talk, they didn't insist. They already knew I had been depressed. So they would always tell me they loved me, that they were there for me. Sometimes, our sisters and mothers would tell me stories or jokes without expecting a response from me. But overall, they were taking their sweet time in cracking me open. I was, too. I felt like I didn't have the right to move or talk until I have delivered a healthy baby girl to the world.

Jiyong was gone too, and based on what I heard them say, he was busily cleaning up the mess we created. They were suing people, cleaning the media, and working to strategize and manage the news and reports about our marriage. He would drop by thrice a day, but I pretended to be asleep every time he was there. I was much too ashamed to show my face at him, especially knowing what truly happened that caused my health hazard. Whenever my family was around when he was there, he'd always kiss my forehead.

Yet I heard from my family's tone that they were still upset at him. The Kwon family overcompensated in apologizing for him by taking care of me and taking care of my family. I didn't know if my parents wanted us to divorce, or to separate. I knew they were just waiting for me to recover, physically and emotionally, before we could even talk about Jiyong's shortcomings.

But for now, neither of our families even directly confronted me about anything. I guessed they didn't send the memo to the first visitors ever allowed to see me, because they were the first ones to ever touch on the issue.

"Hello unnie, if you can hear us, we want you to know we love you so much," Seo Juhyun said, embracing my back while I laid down, facing the opposite side.

"And your baby girl too. The doctor said you wouldn't talk or wouldn't stop crying, so they had to induce your calm. Just listen to us, okay?" now it was Yoona's turn to embrace me.

Their voices and touches woke me up, so I turned around to face them. I saw that all eight of my best friends were there, holding flowers, cakes, balloons, and teddy bears for me. When I met their eyes, they all shouted "WE MISS YOU MOMMY TAENG!"

I nearly cried, but kept my emotions in check. I said a soft "hi" to them, smiled a little while I sat half-upright. I had been in the hospital for four days now, and I suddenly felt so ugly and disgusting next to the beautiful girls of SNSD. It was clear that they just came from an event. Each of them asked me different versions of how-are-you, and each time I'd lie and answer fine.

"Hayeon said you've been depressed all this time. Why?" Tiffany asked, sitting beside me.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"You miss us, don't you?" she teased, and