After months of scouring every little town, village and city, I was finally able to track down Jaejoong and our son. Since I blacklisted him from leaving the country, he had no choice but to retreat into one of Korea’s many small fishing villages, away from the watchful eyes of the people like me. 

I couldn't believe it when Yoochun told me he was only living in a small Korean fishing village 50 minutes south of Seoul. As Jaejoong was a trained paediatrician he was the village’s local doctor, even though he specialized in children he was also well equipped as a general practitioner.  

As I dug deeper into his life, especially surrounding the 2 years we were apart, I found out all of the hardships he had to endure alone, especially when he was pregnant with our child. I was elated at the fact that he named him Changmin, the name I always dreamed of naming our first-born boy. 

After I cut him off financially and barred him from seeking support from his very own family, I found out that in order to survive he did many small jobs in the first few months before finding his way to the village where no one heard of me, and my influence and power was not recognized.  

When he was first pregnant with Changmin he had to work 3 jobs to pay for rent, food and clinical check ups to make sure that the baby was doing okay. Early in the mornings before dawn, he had to leave the small dingy apartment he rented in the red light districts of Seoul to deliver newspapers, whilst he went about delivering the papers he was often harassed and mistaken as a e due to his alluring looks. 

After finishing his paper runs midmorning, he had to rush to the local bakery to help, working 8 hours and standing nonstop on his feet, his shift ends at 5 in the evening everyday, before he rushes off to help clean and take care of elderly residents in the nearby retirement complex. 

During the first 7 months of carrying Changmin, Jaejoong almost had 2 near miscarriages due to over exhaustion and malnutrition. He worked relentlessly saving every penny he had to spare, for Changmin’s monthly medical check-ups and prenatal vitamins. 

The elderly couple with whom Jaejoong worked for at the bakery took pity on him and took him in, helping him relieve the burden of renting an apartment, most especially at the location he was staying in. They also gave him more flexible hours, allowing him to quit his other 2 jobs and focus on delivering a healthy baby. 

Considering that the elderly couple themselves didn't have children, they doted on the pregnant Jaejoong a lot, most especially after they found out the reason as to why he was stuck in that situation in the first place. They helped Jaejoong give birth, rushing him to the nearest hospital and were there when Changmin let out his first cry, something I missed out on, something that I wished as the father of my child to be there to witness.

Afraid that I would catch wind of the birth of my child, the couple suggested that they retire early and with the help of the sale of their bakery and life savings, move away from Seoul, to a fairly remote fishing village just on the outskirts of Seoul. A place I would never look to find, as I would have never expected him to be so close to home yet far away enough to remain unseen. 

Jaejoong, Changmin and the elderly couple resided in a little cottage perching on a seaside cliff. In the foggy mornings Kim Jongwook and his wife Song Chaehee will go out on their little boat into the vast sea hoping to catch fishes to sell at the morning market, hoping to sell enough for Changmin’s formula. Although Jaejoong was the residential doctor, the income he earns from taking care of the villagers is not enough to supplement for all their needs as all the villagers live a very modest lifestyle, hence why the old couple decided to help.   

After finding all the necessary information and preparing all that needs to be prepared, I left Yoochun in charge and readied for the short journey to where my family was. My heart was pounding furiously, palms sweaty and breath short the closer I got to them. I have dreamt for so long to be together with them once again, but I was the one that pushed them away, the thoughts of them not wanting to return home with me crossed my mind daily. 

Shaking my head, I focussed on driving, pushing all the negative thoughts away. I concentrated on the possibilities of our future, the future we could have together. I smiled lightly at the fact that there was a possibility that Jaejoong stilled love me, since our time apart he hasn’t been together with anyone else; he even named our child Changmin, something I wanted long ago. With my spirits lifted I drove faster towards the Cliffside cottage, wanting to hold them in my arms. 

Before I knew it I arrived at my destination. The place was eerily quiet, not a single soul to be seen, the whole village was wrapped in a shroud of fog, that clung onto the edges of your clothing. Squinting into the distance I found the house I was looking for, pulling up and parking on the side of the road I quickly got out and made my way briskly up the steep path. 

As I got closer and closer, I heard a celebration of some sort, a song was being sung; loud claps and cheers were heard. Curiously I peered into the window, seeing the inside of the house covered in colourful banners and balloons, there were also throngs and throngs of people, it seems as if the whole village was inside. From the song and cherry voices wafting out of the window it was a birthday celebration. Holding my breath I knocked quietly at first, but realizing that it wouldn’t be heard with the noises coming from inside, I knocked louder and harder, anxious of what is to come. 

A loud shout was heard from inside, “Coming” they yelled. Bracing myself I smiled and waited. The door swung open, revealing a plump old woman that was the mistress of the house, Song Chaehee, smiling she greeted me and asked me what I wanted. 

In a deep voice I told her I was after Jaejoong, smiling in surprise she told me that he would come along soon as he was currently preparing the cake, curious I asked her who’s birthday it was. Imagine my shock when she cheerily told me that it was Changmin’s 2nd birthday party, and everyone from their small village was here to celebrate it with him. 

Holding back my surprise, I waited patiently for her to get Jaejoong. Today was Changmin’s second birthday … and as his father I wasn’t even aware. I wasn’t even aware that my own baby boy was turning 2 today, I felt like a failure, the resentment and hate I felt for mys