This is what I Learned

Description

He and I were two pieces that didn't fit. I can't believe how much time I've wasted trying to realise that. It's been years since then, I am now twenty nine, and I have an adorable newborn son. Nothing in particular made me remember my adolescent years, it was just something that was never off my mind. I do, however, wish that I had learned my lesson earlier. That way I wouldn't have dissected and rearranged myself, and more importantly, others, just to fit my fingers between the spaces of his. And I still didn't manage to hold his hand even then.

Foreword

Tracklist:

1. When I Was, When U Were (SM the Ballad - Chen and Krystal)
2. Painkiller (SPICA)
3. Bad (Tablo Ft. Jinsil)
4. Baby Baby (4MEN)
5. Safe and Sound (Cover by Jayesslee)
6. Suddenly (Kim Bo Kyung)
7. I Hate You (Urban Zakapa)
8. Hello (Huh Gak)
9. Closer (Taeyeon)
10. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)
11. Home (Tablo Ft. Lee Sora)
12. Fixed Star (Infinite)
13. I Can Only Say I want to Die (Huh Gak)
14. Set Me Free (SM the Ballad - Taeyeon)
15. Maybe Tomorrow (Super Junior - Ryeowook)

This was supposed to be chaptered but I just decided to slap it all together. There are two chapters, the first is the chapter divided into sections, with a song for each of the section, the second is not divided and has no songs. So you can choose which one to read, they're both the same, it's up to individual preference whether you like listening to songs while reading or you don't. So with that, I hope you enjoy.

P.S. i never intended for it to be so ing depressing lol sorry

june 22, 2015 update: i decided to make some edits after browsing through my stories and realising how messy this story was. all i've fixed are some (a lot, actually) grammatical errors and standardized the fonts. i tried kept the writing style as it was because i want this fic to be a representative of my skills, thoughts and emotions at that period of time when i wrote it. it's been a year since i wrote this, i realised. :'-)

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Comments

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Keycolight 30 streak 0 points #1
Chapter 3: Chapter 3: This story is sooo beautiful. I'm glad i accidentally found this as i originally subscribed to your other fanfic like yeaaaars ago but it's not completed so i haven't read it yeat. So i decided to check your other stories and found this. I spent the last 3 hours trying to finish this while bawling my eyes out in the middle of the night next to my sleeping daughter. Last time i cried this hard because of a fanfiction was 10 years ago. It's not a good feeling but somehow it feelt so good to let everything out.
I'm pretty sure most of us can relate with ari. The story is too realistic that at least we can relate to either her childhood, teen, and audlthood. I relate with her so much that even sharing the same birthday as her son 😅
Since the beginning, i had a soft spot for sehun. He looked so rebellious in the beginning but after they started dating he was so gentle to ari. The way he talked to her, touched her, kissed her, it was so painful to read because ari didn't have the same feelings for him. I started crying for him since they left the club and same as ari, im also curious to what she'd said to him. Was that the trigger for him to finally give up? My heart was so heavy thay i cried till i couldn't breathe. I'm still sad while im typing this. He was so young and he had endured enough. I can feel the regret ari's faced after his death.
I'm so glad this story is still here and i found it too late. I hope it gets more attention because this is a masterpiece. Ugh my heart 💔
Shawolgurl #2
Chapter 3: This is so beautiful <333
ColdOne #3
Chapter 3: Hands down, this is one of the most amazing stories I had ever read. Very beautifully written, and I rarely cry, but this wonderful yet heart-wrenching masterpiece just did it to me. I wish people could discover this more.
Multifanstan #4
Chapter 2: I knew something was up when Sehun called and asked her if she could stay.
My heart feels so heavy, I could literally feel the guilt all the way even if it's through reading.
It's very beautifully written. You made me cry. ?
ceciwis2 #5
Chapter 3: I wonder why I never found this before. This should get more attention, more comments, votes and subscribers. Thank you for writing this, I have no words to describe my feelings now
SakunoEchizen #6
Chapter 2: I've lost count of times I paused from reading to wipe my tears. T_T This story really touched my heart and it also made me realize again that life is too precious to waste. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story! <3 :')
asiannn_ #7
there aren’t any word to describe how much of a wonderful read this was :’)
NatashaAurel #8
I really want to spam so many comments on this fic, this fic deserve more
isaisy #9
Chapter 2: i am dizzy. you write this painfully realistic and beautiful, i finished reading with a hollow heart. i didn't think sehun's going to go that way, my heart hurts. i cried. kinda unstable in the middle, Ari's life transition after sehun's departure is, so painfull, you wrote it in a way that even i can feel her pain. ari is a strong woman, i don't think i can handle that much of feelings. regret is such an feeling, that's one of the worst feeling ever. what did he think? i have so many questions too. you suprise me started from sehun's news. i literally feel down out of the blue.

this story make me thinking deep. "it'll be okay." thank you for sharing us this story. thank you so much.
dokyungsoolabb #10
Chapter 2: This is so beautiful. Its been so long since I read a story as touching as this. Plus the music...i was so immersed with the story I can feel what the mcs feeling like I was the one experiencing it all. Its was so beautiful really ..??
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