By my entire self, I most sincerely swear that my intentions were never to hurt. And given the reality that he was slowly dying an imaginary death, I myself wished to end my life, and because a body can’t be mutilated without anyone to notice, I drank the bitter liquid of despair, holding deep within me everything that could remind me of the divine perfection his entire self was.

And as I swallow that sour liquid, I will solemnly look forward to the day my entire vengeance will awaken, the day my despair could be spilled on the flesh of those who meant harm. And when that time comes, I will most graciously rejoice in the never-ending dance I will perform in the pool of the scarlet liquid his veins will spill. And in that moment, the flesh that held my bones together will fall from it, and the bones will become dust, and in that moment, I’ll pray the wind take my ashes far away, to the land I left my beating heart, and I’ll pray he feels it, for every moment the wind touches his skin, my hand will be caressing it.

And as if the wind could speak, the stars will sparkle, and those would be the eyes that will forever watch over you. And when you love again, the rain that falls on you will be the tears that fall from my blind eyes. And when you kiss, the sound of the wind through the trees will be the muted cries of my rotting soul, condemned to a lifetime of solitude, condemned to a life without you.

And when your first child is born, the reminiscence of my own womb will appear in front of my eyes, and in that moment, I will rejoice on the imaginary world where you and I could have loved without regrets, where you and I could have laughed and smile with the purity a heart hides within. And in that moment, everything would be worth it, because the smile of your first child, born in the peaceful world I tried to create for you, will be the light of my way, and my soul could finally rest in peace, knowing I made the world a better place for you, my love.