Jongdae is pleasantly warm, curled up with a twitchy nose that won’t seem to calm down.  He bats at it, forcing his weight over in an attempt to squish his face in his pillow so it stops when he realizes something is wrong.

Something is very wrong.

Jongdae wakes up covered in fur.  Four paws take the place of hands and feet and when he spies the tail tucked between his hind legs, he jolts, bounding up and getting way more air than he should.  That’s when he takes notice that his bed is a lot larger than it should be, familiar cream comforter and wrinkled polka-dotted sheets leading him to one inescapable conclusion.

He’s having a nightmare.

The first thing he does, after realizing that he’s no good on four legs and nearly falling forward onto his face, is scream for help.  Jongdae is very disgruntled to hear it come out as a very distinct meow instead.  He tries to grumble and it escapes as this feral growl and Jongdae panics because this feels way too real.

The door to his room slams open and Jongdae finds himself lifting onto the tips of his paws, back bowed up and he can feel his fur standing on end when he hisses.

“Whoa.”  Joonmyun stumbles back, hand over his heart.  He takes one look at Jongdae the kitty and stands up straight, an exasperated look on his features.  “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT DORM PETS?!” Joonmyun shouts.

Jongdae meows, desperate to get Joonmyun’s attention so he can explain that he’s not a pet.  He’s Jongdae.  And because he’s Jongdae, he rolls right off the bed and lands on the floor - on his paws - and teeters forward until his head bumps right against Joonmyun’s bare ankle.  Joonmyun jumps back a little, hopping on one foot so Jongdae goes for that one next.

“Oh for -”  Joonmyun plucks Jongdae kitty from the ground and Jongdae panics, claws coming out and he meows softly in surprise, holding on.  His claws dig into the soft skin of Joonmyun’s hand.  The moment he realizes what he’s doing, Joonmyun wincing and cursing under his breath, Jongdae retracts his claws and begins at the welts blossoming.

Joonmyun blinks at the very non cat-like behavior.

“What did you say about a pet, hyung?” Jongin asks, coming up behind Joonmyun.

“Did you know Jongdae smuggled in a kitten?” Joonmyun questions, holding up Jongdae high enough for Jongin to see.

Jongin takes a step back, shaking his head and holding up his hands.  “I don’t know a thing about that.”

“Jongin,” Joonmyun says in warning as Jongdae squirms in Joonmyun’s hold.  If only he can get down and try to communicate.  “If this is some way to mess with Chanyeol -”

“It’s not!” Jongin says in defense, slinking back with his shoulders hunched.  “I swear, hyung, I didn’t know about this.”

Joonmyun sighs and lowers Jongdae until he’s cradling him in both hands.  “JONGDAE!” he yells and Jongdae jerks, nearly rolls out of Joonmyun’s hold in surprise.

He answers with a meow, pawing at Joonmyun to get his attention.  Joonmyun calls again and Jongdae meows louder, making a valiant attempt at climbing the front of Joonmyun’s shirt to get to his face.  A third call without a response - according to Joonmyun - and he’s walking down the hall, Jongdae refusing to let go of his shirt.

This is a very harrowing experience.  The ground has never been so far away and he mewls quietly in fear until Joonmyun runs a finger around his ear.  It sets off this chain reaction that makes Jongdae lean in for more, something building in his throat until he hears a full on purr rumbling in his chest.

Jongdae is purring.  Jongdae is purring because Joonmyun is petting him and he closes his eyes, drifting off as Joonmyun drones on in the background.  Let him call for Jongdae all he wants because a human isn’t going to answer.  If this is some sort of dream, then he’s just going to enjoy it while it lasts.

A decidedly unmanly shriek jolts Jongdae out of his almost sleep and he leaps right out of Joonmyun’s arms and lands on something hard and slick.  He tries to run, paws moving over the surface of what seems to be the kitchen table before someone else is scooping him up.

“It’s so precious,” Tao coos, hands gently holding Jongdae up to his face.  Jongdae balks, trying to scramble away because Tao’s face is way too close.  Another face peeks over Tao’s shoulder and Jongdae struggles harder because Yifan looking at him so intently is disconcerting.

“He,” Yifan says after a moment.  “It is a he.”

Well no .  Jongdae would make some remark about Yifan’s clear lack of manhood except all he manages is a hiss, a little paw trying to reach out and strike the leader on his face while his body still fights to get away.  It’s very exhausting.

“Look at him trying to be so fierce,” Tao says in this baby voice that has Jongdae wanting to throw up.  Just because he’s a fun-sized little pet doesn’t mean he’s brain dead.  He gives up the fight and settles for a disdainful look that he’s unsure if he accomplishes because he’s being squished to Tao’s chest as fingers scratch down his back.

“Yes, he’s cute,” Joonmyun comments in his all too familiar patience-wearing-thin voice.  Jongdae’s been on the receiving end of that tone enough to know it’s headed nowhere good.  It’s time to do something to save his from getting booted out the front door or worse - taken to a shelter.  Jongdae isn’t one to take kindly to people he doesn’t know getting close to him, let alone trying to cuddle and pet him.

It’s about now that he’s regretting never learning morse code.

“But we need to find Jongdae and get him to take the kitten back where he got it,” Joonmyun finishes, reaching for Jongdae even as Tao pouts.

Jongdae sees his chance sitting on the counter and he takes it.  Cat reflexes don’t fail me now.  As soon as Tao loosens his grip to hand him over, Jongdae leaps out of his hands and onto the counter.  He doesn’t take into account that he’s covered in fur and not born with feline expertise and he slips face first onto the surface.  His nose smarts and he’s stunned for a moment, shaking his head and blinking everything back into focus.

The glass of milk only a few steps from him is the target and he moves just before whoever was reaching for him can stop him.  Jongdae successfully knocks it over, wasting no time in wetting his paws.  With more coordination than he’s managed thus far, Jongdae shocks everyone into watching as he writes out his name.  And when he’s done, he the milk from his paws with a satisfied meow.

“I knew that pizza was past its expiration date,” is the first explanation Yifan comes out with,eyeing the box by the trash can that they’d emptied the night before.  And if it was the pizza, why were the others just fine?  It’s a completely ridiculous conclusion.

Joonmyun looks ready to explode, his lips in a thin line and left eye twitching as he stares at the white writing of Jongdae’s name and the kitten sitting next to it now watching them in a very human like way.  “How am I supposed to tell the company we managed to turn one of our main vocalists into a cat?”

Jongdae meows unhelpfully  and Yifan backs away with his hands raised.  Joonmyun fixes a glare on Yifan so piercing that even Jongdae shudders.  “You will not get out of helping me with this.”

Yifan deflates.  “It was worth a shot.”

“What was worth a shot, hyung?” Chanyeol asks as he walks into the kitchen, completely unaware of the situation.  However, one look at the cat still sitting next to a puddle of milk and he balks, bouncing back on his feet.  “What is that doing here?”

“Jongdae,” Tao answers.

“Is he trying to kill me?” Chanyeol demands in a shrill voice, cowering behind an unamused Joonmyun.  Jongdae wishes he had a camera to properly capture the moment.

“No, that is Jongdae,” Yifan corrects.

Chanyeol peers around Joonmyun and watches Jongdae as if he expects him to suddenly begin tap dancing.  Jongdae flicks his tail.

“Well he’s certainly judgey like Jongdae, but all cats are like that.  I’m not stupid enough to believe that’s Jongdae.”

“You’re right Chanyeol,” Joonmyun says with a sigh.  “We got a kitten and trained it to write Jongdae’s name just to mess with you.”

Chanyeol shuffles forward and out of his hiding spot, hunched over to see the writing on the counter before his eyes shift to Jongdae.  “Jongdae?” he asks in this little fearful voice.

Jongdae meows.

Chanyeol screams and Jongdae’s little kitty eardrums vibrate.  It’s startling and he skitters backward and off the counter.  Jongdae lands on the floor in a poor representation of a cat; only two of his feet hit before his and he meows despondently.

The managers put out the word that there’s someone very ill in Jongdae’s family and he has left for an undetermined amount of time.  As far as excuses go, it’s pretty flimsy but more believable than the reality of the situation.

“What if he stays this way?” Kyungsoo asks, scratching under Jongdae’s chin hard enough for him to topple back.  He meows and knocks his head against Kyungsoo’s hand so he does it again, only half paying attention to the conversation.

“We can always tell everyone that he eloped and skipped the country,” Baekhyun suggests, reaching over to pluck Jongdae out of Kyungsoo’s lap.  Jongdae is displeased and he bites the tip of Baekhyun’s finger hard enough to be dropped.  “Eloped with a man,” Baekhyun adds, scowling and checking his finger for puncture marks.

Jongdae is swept into someone else’s hands before he gets the chance to pounce on Baekhyun and inflict further pain.

“All we can do is take it one day at a time,” Joonmyun explains.  Jongdae stops struggling in his arms, choosing to settle down.  Joonmyun is his favorite.

It’s easier adapting to being a cat than Jongdae anticipated even if he’s still in mourning over the loss of his opposable thumbs.  There’s only so far a cute face and batting at something with paws will get him.

It certainly doesn’t mean it’s all fun and games.  The first time Jongdae has to use the bathroom, he nearly splashes head first into the toilet before horrifically realizing that he needs somewhere else to go.  So he sits in the bathroom and wails as loud as he can, waiting for someone useful to show up and help him.

Chanyeol, Sehun and Yixing all show up and stare at him until Jongin wedges through with some newspaper and lays it on the floor for him.  He’s eternally grateful when Jongin then shoos the others away so he can pee in peace.  (It doesn’t make it any less mortifying and Jongdae kind of wants to bury himself in his bed and never come out when his back feet start kicking at the paper after.)

Some of the group take to Jongdae’s new status with a little too much enthusiasm.  Luhan ran out to the nearest pet store and came back with a little red collar with a bell on the front.  Jongdae scrambles for a place to hide, even making it halfway between the couch cushions before he’s dragged out.  Luhan looks maniacal as he wrestles the collar onto a squirming Jongdae trapped in Yixing’s hands.

Hissing, Jongdae takes a swipe at them both before he’s put on the floor.  The first thing he does is try to claw it off, the bell jingling with every hit.  It’s very degrading, he thinks, even as he spins in circles in an attempt to get the contraption off.  Jongdae meows desperately, hoping for someone to come to his rescue, but every single one of his group mates is standing around him with their phones out to capture him on video.

Luhan is obviously Satan and must be punished accordingly.

But only after Jongdae has a nap because this being a cat thing is really exhausting.  He saunters over to the nearest streak of sunlight on the floor and plops down in it, curling up for a nice siesta.

Jongdae wakes up hungry, so he lets everyone know in the only way he knows how.

He yowls.

It’s past sundown and his sunbeam is gone and his tummy is empty and everyone should be on their feet to serve him.  There’s stumbling down the hall and he sees the flicker of annoyance on Joonmyun’s face before Jongdae darts into the kitchen.  He’s not quite prepared for it and he slides a bit before slamming against the refrigerator door.

“Jongdae,” Joonmyun whispers in a tight, controlled voice.  He pads over, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he goes.  When he bends down to collect Jongdae in his hand, he gives him a stern look.  “Just because you are a cat doesn’t mean the rest of us are off the hook.  We have to be up early so next time, just come to my room.”

Jongdae ducks his head, a little ashamed.  Joonmyun pats him on the head anyway and sets Jongdae down on the counter beside the refrigerator so he can get out a bowl.  Jongdae can practically taste the milk already, his tongue poking out through his teeth.

The bowl is placed on the floor and Jongdae beside it.  He wastes no time, sticking his head right in.  The first thing he does is inhale milk.  The second thing he does is sneeze as it burns a trail down his throat.  Joonmyun is laughing even as he calms Jongdae with a few scratches around his ears.  “Stop trying to drown yourself.  I’d hate to have to explain to your mother how you died.”

The dorm is quiet when Jongdae wakes.  He’s in Joonmyun’s bed, curled halfway on his pillow and mostly in the same position as he was when Joonmyun brought him in the night before.  It takes a solid minute of blank staring at his surroundings before he remembers the events of yesterday.  One glance down and yep, still a cat.

Well, he might as well make the best of it.

Jongdae does a little exploring - plodding over all the laundry on bedroom floors and skirting the articles that smell the most foul.  He doesn’t know if his sense of smell has become superhuman or if his close proximity of the floor makes it impossible to ignore the reeking stench of socks piled by the washing machine.  And he quickly learns that no good will ever come of investigating under Sehun’s bed.  He’s pretty sure something blinked at him.

There’s a bowl of water in the place of the milk and another bowl of what looks - and smells - like catfood.  Jongdae avoids the food like the plague while lapping up the water.  He treks back into Joonmyun’s room and finds one of Joonmyun’s hideous sweaters to knead his claws in before he decides he’s earned himself another nap.  Cat logic is flawless.

When everyone shows up later, Chanyeol gives Jongdae a wide berth, his eyes red and puffy and nose running.  “Allergies,” he mumbles in explanation and Jongdae slinks backward and away, managing to trip Minseok.  A foot lands on his tail and he makes this noise he didn’t even know cats could make as the pain radiates up his tail.

“I’m so sorry,” Minseok coos as he picks Jongdae off the floor and pets him softly.  Luhan comes up and rolls his eyes.

“He’s still Jongdae.  He probably did something to deserve that even if we don’t know about it.”

Jongdae makes a mental note to pee on Luhan’s pillow later.

A week passes and Jongdae is still a cat.  No one seems to be surprised when he hops on their laps during meals or burrows his way under their blankets as they sleep.  It was nice sleeping on Joonmyun’s pillow that once, but Luhan’s bed smells the nicest and he doesn’t shove Jongdae off.  Jongdae purrs when Luhan snuggles him in his sleep and decides it would be a shame to ruin this streak of affection by peeing on his bed so he shreds Luhan’s secret stash of photobooks he keeps hidden in his closet instead.  He considers it a favor; no grown man needs to stare at himself that much.  (Unless he’s Tao.)

Kyungsoo has taken to cooking fish for Jongdae when it became obvious he wasn’t going to eat the cat food.  The smell always draws Jongdae into the kitchen, meowing and weaving between Kyungsoo’s feet as he waits for it to be cool enough to eat.  His belly is getting bigger, but he’s a cat so it doesn’t matter.

After dinner, Jongdae always goes for the couch to see who is available for petting.  Jongin is really more of a dog person, but that doesn’t stop Jongdae from nuzzling up to him, paws on his shoulder so he can bump his head under Jongin’s chin because Jongin gives these full body scratches like he was made to do it.  Jongdae rubs against Jongin’s jaw, purring and trying not to knead his claws too deep because he doesn’t want to hurt Jongin, but he can’t seem to help it.  Jongin isn’t even paying attention, eyes riveted on the television as he gives Jongdae the best petting of his life.

Jongdae is sitting in the middle of Yifan’s’ bed, comforter bunched up at the foot and sheets all mussed because he’s never been particularly adept at getting his bed made in the mornings.  From here, he can see into the bathroom, watching as Yifan meticulously scrubs the entirety of his face with a handful of different cleansers before switching to the creams.  It’s a wonder there’s any skin left to moisturize after all that and Jongdae’s tail flicks with judgement.

Yifan sees the action and narrows his eyes over at the feline, scowling and making his face look more ridiculous than it already does with the green gunk all over it.  “Don’t you look at me like that, Kim Jongdae,” he says.  “At least I’m not covered in fur.”

Jongdae would roll his eyes if he still had the ability.  Instead, he settles further into Yifan’s sheets, rolling around and nuzzling under his comforter just to make sure that in the morning, Yifan will wake up with fur all over him.

“I know what you’re doing,” Yifan calls out and Jongdae stills, upper half buried in his blanket and tail swaying in the air.  “And if you don’t stop, I’ll give you to Tao so he can turn you into a fashion accessory.”

Jongdae kicks his back feet on Yifan’s blanket and hops down from the bed with his nose in the air.  He doesn’t have to take this abuse.  He’s going to find someone else to entertain him.

Jongdae develops this habit of sneaking into Chanyeol’s room if only because it’s off limits.  He knows it’s because Chanyeol’s allergies are getting worse and honestly, Jongdae would care more if Chanyeol weren’t so loud, waking him up during his much needed nap time.  But as it stands, Chanyeol is a nuisance and must be handled accordingly.

Jongdae is on his way to the drawer left open in Chanyeol’s dresser when he sees it.  It’s a box left on the floor, small but inviting and Jongdae slowly pads his way over, nudging the side with his head before poking his nose in it.  He wonders if he can fit.

His whiskers said no, but Jongdae’s kitty heart said yes and now he’s perfectly cozy inside his box, ears pushed down to the top of his head and eyes closed as he dozes.

“Told you it would work,” comes a whispering voice and Jongdae’s ear tries to twitch, but - oh yeah, box.  Wonderful, wonderful box.

Jongdae refuses to play this debasing game of chase, watching Baekhyun with narrow eyes as he tries to get Jongdae to run after the dot from the laser pointer.  He has to admit that it’s very distracting, every instinct on high alert as he actively forces himself not to follow that little light no matter how much it circles right in front of his paws.

It starts off as a meaningless stretch, legs forward and claws kneading into the air.  And then that red dot sways between his paws and Jongdae can’t help it.  His raises into the air, back legs preparing to push off as his tail swishes.  And then he’s off with Baekhyun’s hysterical cackling in the background.

Jongdae runs over furniture, nearly into the wall and barrels across an unfortunately barefoot Minseok during his chase.  And since Baekhyun is Baekhyun, Jongdae ends his journey clinging to the curtains, deciding it’s easier to scramble all the way to the top instead of retracting his claws and dropping.

He’s stuck, but content, watching everyone beneath him until one gets close enough.  Sehun doesn’t even know he’s up there until he launches into the air, barely landing on Sehun’s shoulder.  He tries not to claw him too badly and Sehun is much more calm about than anyone would have been.  He bops Jongdae on the nose and then immediately cuddles him to his chest, giving him a nice belly scratch until Jongdae is purring and falling asleep.

Jongdae likes being a cat.

Jongdae transforms back into his human self at some point between falling asleep on a Wednesday night and being woken up Thursday morning.  It’s the unmanly scream and the sudden fleeting feeling of free falling that wakes him before he impacts on the floor because he’d been sleeping nestled comfortably between Luhan’s legs, face in his crotch.  (In his defence, it was the warmest spot and Luhan had showered before bed, so it didn’t stink either.)

Joonmyun comes bursting through the door and sees Jongdae pouting as he rubs the sore spot on his .  “Oh thank god,” he breathes.

Yixing’s head pops in next and instead of being relieved, his face falls.  “But Kyungsoo was almost finished knitting booties for you,” he complains before sulking off.

“Dodged a bullet with that one,” Sehun mumbles into his pillow.  “They’re pink booties.”

The next day, Luhan barges into Jongdae’s room with a cat ear headband and a collar, pinning him down to put them on.  “You were better as a cat.”

Jongdae puts up a weak fight, sitting on the middle of his head with a collar once again around his neck.  On the outside he’s scowling, but his inner kitty is preening, secretly happy about it.  It’s not so bad being a cat.