Chapter 18

Ji Min, Jae Kyung, and I were all sitting at lunch together talking about an upcoming fair that was going to be in Children’s Park this weekend. The fair was one of the biggest fair that they held year round since they always provided a lot of entertainment from street performers, arts and crafts, games, food that you don’t see anywhere, and other things like gifts that many anticipate. According to my friends, they said that there’s going to be a surprise event going on and that it was a must-go-to this year. Knowing them, I was going to be dragged along whether I refuse to go or not.

“I really want to try the food there.” Ji Min said excitedly as he clasped his hands together before pounding it against the table below him. “Jae Kyung, will you eat everything there with me?”

“I thought you said you had to watch your weight?” Jae Kyung said confused.

“Eh, that can wait one day.” He shrugged as if he could care less about his weight.

“Why would you need to care about your weight?” I asked confused.

“He won’t tell me the real reason why, but according to Ji Min, he says he’s getting fat.” Jae Kyung shook her head as she rolled her eyes. “I must be obese in his eyes if he thinks he’s fat.”

“Fat, huh?” I scoffed.

“Fine. Would you like me to tell you guys?”

Both Jae Kyung and I looked at him with our elbows propped onto the table so our hands could hold our heads while we watched his every move. He looked a little uncomfortable at what we were doing, but it’s not our fault that he was the one to pull all of the attention on him.

“Well?” Jae Kyung raised her eyebrow as she eyed him up and down. “Are you going to tell us or are we going to have to get it out of you?”

“Let me take a second to relax first, ladies.” He shook his head before taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Okay.”

We waited again and again, he sat there in silence.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Ji Min.” Jae Kyung hit the table with a smack and shook her head as she leaned forward to nudge Ji Min’s head backwards. “If you don’t tell us, or if you’re lying to us about something stupid, we’re going to strangle you until you freaking cry for help.”

“I’m already crying for help.” He shook his head.

“Then tell us.” I finally spoke after getting sick of these two bicker over nothing. “You act like we have all day to listen to you in silence.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you guys, but you two have to keep this a secret.” Ji Min put a finger to his lips. “And that also means that you two cannot laugh at me.”

“How serious is this?” I asked.

“More like, how stupid is this?” Jae Kyung furrowed her eyebrows.

I knew she was feeling uneasy about this and to say that I was going to find out about his “secret” with her made me feel awful. She was his girlfriend and yet, here she was hearing about his secret for the first time with me.

“Maybe I should leave.” I said about to get up, but Jae Kyung grabbed my wrist and yanked me back down to my seat.

“You are going nowhere.” She said looking at me. “I need someone here to help me strangle him if this is stupid.”

I shook my head with laughter. “Okay. Okay. Ji Min, tell us before your girlfriend murders you.”

“I’m training to be an idol.” Ji Min pressed his lips together and looked at us curiously.

“You’re what?” Ji Min asked confused.

“I’m training to be an idol…” He said once more.

“No way.” I shook my head. “That’s great!” I grabbed his hands and wave it in the air. “I’m so proud of you, Ji Min!”

“Is this why you haven’t been texting me lately?” She eyed him.

“Sorry…” He shrugged apologetically. “I’ve been busy with dancing…”

“It’s no wonder why you have to go on a diet.” I shook my head. “You are a little chunky.” I teased.

“Shut up, Ga Eul. But thanks anyway.” Ji Min chuckled. “Anyway, let’s stop talking about my weight, why don’t we? So, tell us about your date with Seung Ho.”

The date flashed back into my mind and that only made me wonder why it was not such an eventful night other than what had happened after that. I looked at both of my friends who were eagerly waiting for me to say something, but I just gave them a shrug and I knew that was more than enough to let them know how I truly felt about it. Their faces fell immediately.

“Why? What happened?” Jae Kyung whispered as she looked around the cafeteria as if someone was listening. “Did something go wrong?”

“It’s just… His parents… They…” I scratched the back of my head trying to pick the pieces up together nicely without breaking them apart.

“What?” Ji Min’s eyes widened from curiosity. “Tell us, Ga Eul!”

“It just didn’t go well.” I shrugged once more. “I don’t think his parents like me…”

“That’s not true.”

I saw both Ji Min and Jae Kyung look at a figure behind me and I knew it was Seung Ho by the way he answered us. I mentally hit myself for talking so carelessly in public, but I was with my best friends and they wanted to know – the least they could have done for me was warn me before I had opened my mouth. They were going to get a piece of my mind after my conversation with Seung Ho was over.

I turned around in my seat and looked up at Seung Ho who looked hurt from what I had just said, but honestly, he shouldn’t have been feeling that way. I was only saying things that I’ve felt from his parents and if he that’s what he wasn’t feeling, then okay, that is my fault for not getting the same vibe, but I was the girl he brought to his parents – it was different. I stood up in my seat and as if on cue, we walked side by side until we were out of the cafeteria.

The silence between us was poking the side of my stomach and I felt a little uneasy about it. I didn’t know how our conversation was going to start nor did I know how it was going to end. I haven’ talked to him since our date and it was kind bad of me not to contact him, but it was only because of how out of place I’ve felt from that day. I didn’t know how I should talk to him or even act around him. Did he feel an awkward atmosphere that day as well?

We stopped in the middle of the hallway, not even bothering to check if anyone was nearby to overhear our conversations.

“I’m so –.” We both said and stopped at the same time.

“You go ahead.” Seung Ho gestured towards me.

“No, you go ahead.” I said gesturing back to him.

“Look, Ga Eul, I’m sorry about what my parents said or did to you during our date with them.” He started to rock back and forth on his heels with an uneasy look on his face. “I didn’t think they’d be so straightforward or harsh on you. If I knew they were going to be like that, I would have never brought you to meet them…”

“You can’t avoid everything, can you, Seung Ho?” I pressed my lips together as I avoided his eyes in case I would feel pity towards him. “What they said to me was something that I should have expected and I’m nowhere near mad or upset.”

“Then why did you just run off like that? You didn’t even contact me nor did you answer my calls whenever I’d call.” It was true. Seung Ho had called me, but I never answered because my phone was in my locker back at the bathhouse when I was with Chen. “D-don’t tell me you want to stop all of us this already…”

“And what if I said I did?” I felt my heart ache a little hearing myself say those words – I only wanted to be honest with him from now on.

“Is it because of my parents?” I knew he was hurt from my words and I felt bad, but I couldn’t take them back anymore.

“Seung Ho, I really like you – seriously.” I took a deep breath before letting it out. I looked up at him and saw that he had been staring at me for awhile now – he was making it really hard on me. “Do you remember the movie that we watched together on our first date?”

He nodded his head. “What about it?”

“Remember what you said about the characters?”

“That the man was selfish?”

I nodded my head.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Seung Ho looked at me with a confused face before it fell. “A-are y-you… No way. This is a joke.” He started laughing as if this was the funniest thing he’s ever heard – even if I didn’t speak a word. “Y-you’re kidding me, right, Choi Ga Eul?”

I stood in silence.

“You’re not dying, Ga Eul.” His laugh became sad and it hurt hearing it. “No way…”

“I have yet to find a heart transplant.” I felt my heart become heavy inside of my chest – I couldn’t tell if it was from how Seung Ho was acting or because of the words that had just come out from my mouth.

“God Ga Eul, if you really wanted to stop talking to me, you can just say it!” Seung Ho’s voice was raising and I could tell that he didn’t believe anything I was saying. “You don’t have to freaking lie about it just because of what had happened between my parents and you!” His voice was becoming more harsh. “You think I’ll believe your lie?”

I stood in silence again. No words could explain the feeling I was feeling as of right now. My heart was heavy and seeing how Seung Ho didn’t believe any of my words hurt me because he was hurt and yet, he wasn’t because he was filled with anger and shock. It wasn’t supposed to be this way – he wasn’t supposed to find out at all, but I didn’t want him to find out any other way. This was the best way I could inform him even if it had to be at school or even after what had happened between his parents and I.

“A-are you saying that as an excuse?” He looked at me seriously. “Or is it because you’ve fallen for someone else and this is the only way for you to stop what was going on between us?”

“Seung Ho, I –.”

“Do you like Chen?”

I froze for a split second before a scoff escaped my lips.

“I know you didn’t make it to our date because something happened to Chen that day – I wanted to ignore it, but now I can’t.” He shook his head in frustration as he started to pace back and forth. “Some people have said that they saw you two go to the movies together… Or that you two have been seen together at the beach having cups of coffee…” He was now laughing angrily. “D-did you think that I wouldn’t find out that you were two-timing me?”

“What? You thought I was two-timing you?!” I was the one in disbelief now. I couldn’t believe he would throw this all at me as if I’ve done something wrong when I haven’t. “I was not two-timing anyone!”

“Then what about all of those times, Ga Eul?” If I was correct, it looked like Seung Ho was near tears and that was breaking my heart a little even though he was getting me a little heated up by bringing up unnecessary things. “Are you just making up these stupid lies? Do you think life is a movie?”

“How could you take my words so carelessly, Yoo Seung Ho? I liked you! I really did like you, okay? I’m sorry that my heart has a problem and I’ve been trying to fix it for the past few years now.” I could feel a cry scratching at my throat, but I was using every muscle to keep it from coming out. “Who thinks life is a damn movie? If it was a movie, I wouldn’t be here, Seung Ho. I wouldn’t be here talking about how I have this problem and that I’m having trouble fixing it and yet, I’m two-timing these two guy?” I laughed sarcastically. “You’re right, Seung Ho. My feelings for you for over years and years were just a lie because I wanted to have a life where I had you at the tip of my fingers and Chen? You’re right I do like him. I really do.” I clenched my fists together, ignoring the fact that we were still in the hallways of our school. “But what you never knew about my life is that I’ve been trying so hard to stay happy and that when I was having a heart attack in front of you, I had to pretend that I was okay and lie that I had to leave. My heart has been stopping me from doing the things I want and loved to do. You might think I like Chen… But… It’s not that I liked him – I liked his company; he made me forget that there I had a problem with my heart… And that feelings for people don’t stay long and that you can fall for more than one person without realizing it.”

Seung Ho looked at me and then lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Choi Ga Eul.”

I found myself a crying mess after realizing that I’ve finished speaking. My tears had soaked my cheeks and my lips were quivering, as if I’ve been cold.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be that one person…” Seung Ho sniffled before he walked past me, gently brushing my shoulder and left me alone in the hallway.

I stood there confused. This was the first time that I’ve felt so empty in a long time. The person that I once really liked was now gone. It was as if our grasp slipped from each other and I felt horrible because I was the one who didn’t hold on – I was the one who only watched until he was far gone and disappeared to somewhere where I wish I could be and yet, I was happy to see that things weren’t so complicated between the two of us anymore.

*A/N:  Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah