Chapter 1

It was raining today and it was the start of our second semester. I should be excited for it, right? It was my last year in high school and it was also one of the most important years of my life. Important... Do you ever just sit and think about the things you could have done before this year had came? I think about it all of the time even when I was too late. Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and do all of the things I could have done before this year came. But, only everyone can wish these things, huh?

I remember the day clearly. It was raining that day as well, but it was the end of the first semester of senior year. I had gone out to meet up with my best friends, Han Jae Kyung and Park Ji Min. We were going to meet up at the cafe since it was gloomy and we wanted to hang out and be free of worries. I rode my skateboard there. I know. You're probably wondering why a girl like me would ride a skateboard,but it was one my hobbies and I couldn't help it. It's actually really relaxing and fun. 

As I made my way through the streets of Seoul, a few people stared and smiled at me. I did the same, but my hair was flipping all over the place because of the rain. Everytime I brushed my hair back, it would fly right back into my face because I was going against the wind. I was in a hurry because I didn't want to make Jae Kyung or Ji Min wait for me. They knew I would always lag, but that day, I wanted to show them that I could get there before they would. I was using all my energy, pushing the ground, and making my way to the cafe as fast as I could.

But there was one thing I always had forgotten, I was diagnosed with a heart disease a few years ago. It wasn't something serious, or at least the doctor said that I could still be myself; I just had to be careful about my actions and what I intake everyday and besides, my doctor gave me medication to take everyday. I was going to be fine... Well, let's not jinx anything here on out. I just wanted to live life and that's what I've been doing. That meant I had to slow down my pace.

I was running out of breath when I had gotten to the cafe. I flipped my skateboard up and held it in my arms as I made it into the cafe. My eyes darted around the room happily, thinking that I had gotten there before my best friends, but I was wrong. They were waving at me with smiles on their faces, knowing that they had beat me here. Ugh. I walked over and wiped my hair out of my face, but as soon as I got closer to them, my chest started throbbing, as if someone was sitting on top of me. I stumbled over onto my knees and immediately, my friends ran over to me and the people inside the cafe watched.

I dug around my pockets for my medication, but it was nowhere to be found. My breath became short and the throbbing became stronger and it was hurting. I looked at my friends. They both already knew what was happening. I could see Ji Min on his phone, stuttering and panicking as he said a few words. Jae Kyung sat by my side and held me in her arms, trying to calm me down and ask me a few questions, but it was inaudible. I even saw a few people come by and ask if they needed help and what was going on.

Before I knew it, I out.

When my eyes opened again, I could hear a machine beeping beside me. I knew I was in the hospital. This wasn't the first time it's happened to me and I wish I was worried, but I felt more relieved. I looked over to the side and saw Jae Kyung and Ji Min sleeping on the couch together. I smiled, seeing that my friends were still here by my side. I pushed myself up so I could sit and coughed, hoping that my friends would hear me, but they barely budged. I shook my head with a small chuckle. They must have been awake the whole night.

It was 6:oo in that morning I woke up.

There was a knock on the door and my friends both sat up quickly, as if they had just been caught doing something they shouldn't have. I rolled my eyes at them. They could hear a small knock, but they couldn't even hear me cough? 

"Ga Eul, you're awake?!" Jae Kyung ran to my side and grabbed my hands. "Do you have any idea how worried we were?!"

I smiled as she squeezed my hands. "Thank you."

"You're lucky I can't beat you up." Ji Min scoffed at me, which only made me laugh.

Just then, the door to my room opened and my doctor came in. He immediately smiled at me and I smiled back. I was used to seeing his face. He was kind and very loving towards me as if I was his own daughter. I was glad to have him as my doctor.

"Did you forget to take your medication yesterday?" My doctor asked as he sat down on the stool beside me.

"I thought I had it with me..." I shrugged slowly. "I guess I was in a hurry and had forgotten it."

"You should be very careful, Choi Ga Eul." My doctor was marking something down on his board. "If Ji Min didn't call in time, who knows what would have happened."

"I know. I'm thankful for Park Ji Min." I smiled over at him and he nodded at me.

My doctor looked at me and heaved a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. This was the face I was familiar with. I knew something was on his mind and I knew it wasn't something good. The atmosphere became quiet and dull. I didn't like this at all.

"Should we wait for your father?" My doctor asked pressing his lips together.

"No..." My voice went quiet and I could tell that Jae Kyung was already tearing up. I looked over and squeezed her hand. "Yah, why are you crying? Stop it, stupid."

Ji Min went over to Jae Kyung's side and rubbed the side of her arms. "Don't worry, Jae Kyung. You know that Ga Eul is stronger than anyone in the world. Don't cry."

It didn't make Jae Kyung stop crying. It made her cry even harder. It hurt to see that my best friend since childhood was crying over something I couldn't even get myself to cry over about. I did cry when I first heard about it, but I had to accept it. It wasn't something that I was going to moan over about if nothing will change and I wish Jae Kyung would understand that she should be strong for me. Even Ji Min, who came into our lives years after, was being strong for me and I was thankful for him.

"Samchon, can you please tell me now?" I asked looking over at him.

I knew I made his heart squeeze whenever I called him "Samchon". I didn't like calling him doctor because it was uncomfortable for me and he wanted me to call him that anyways. The way he looked at me when I asked him to tell me what was on his mind made me bite my lips so hard, that I started bleeding. I didn't even realize it until he was wiping away the blood with a frustrated look in his eyes.

"Even when your friends here?" He asked as he folded the napkin.

I looked up at my friends and before I could even answer him, they both nodded their heads. When I first found out about my disease, I didn't tell them because I was afraid they'd leave me, but I was wrong. It made them stick my by side even more and to this day, they make sure that they know everything about me just so they could watch out for me, which was kind of bothersome, but then again, I was really thankful for them. They learned everything about my heart disease, as if they were going to be tested on it.

"Ga Eul, your heart disease..." I saw tears b in his eyes. "Your heart... Your heart is getting weaker."

I know it was weird, but I was calm about it. Maybe because I was used to getting bad news. I nodded my head for him to go on. After a moment or so, he went on about everything about my heart disease, claiming that my heart was going to get weaker and weaker and that it won't be able to function as well anymore. He said that he'll give me medication to make it work and try to make it stronger, but he said that if anything, I could die within three to four months if we don't find a heart in time. I didn't cry hearing these things. I only smiled and it made Jae Kyung cry even harder. Ji Min was trying to contain his tears. I can see it in him, which made me smile. I leaned over and grabbed his hand and that set him off crying.

My doctor was crying as well. The three of them around me were crying, but I was only watching them. I couldn't cry. There was no reason for me to cry. I had already gone through the crying stage where I thought everything was going to end and that I wasn't going to live any longer. Things became even more complicated when my father walked in. My doctor couldn't even stop himself from crying. You would say it was unprofessional of him, but I was really close to him. As I said before, he thought of me as his own daughter and knowing that probably hurt his heart. As for my father? He never cried in front of me. I always heard him crying in his bedroom or whenever he thought I wasn't around.

To this day, I still remember everything.

"Choi Ga Eul!"

My mind suddenly hit back to reality when I heard someone yelling my name. I turned back around and saw Jae Kyung and Ji Min walking towards me, hand in hand. I shook my head. I can't believe these two have been dating for over three years now and they were still on the whole lovey dovey stage. It didn't make me sick though. I was used to them and if they weren't like this, I don't know how I would feel about the atmosphere being intense and full of hatred. These two were monsters whenever they were upset with each other. I guess there was always ups and downs of relationships.

"How long have you been standing here in front of the school?" Ji Min asked ruffling my hair.

"Oh, I just got here." I lied as I grabbed the straps of my backpack. "I... I was just thinking about how great this last year was going to be."

Jae Kyung's eyes became tense and I could tell that she knew what I was talking about. "Let's... Let's go in before we get into trouble." She managed to say.

I smiled as I followed in after them. This was my last year of school... Ever. Even though I didn't want to think about it that way, I had no choice since it was always in the back of my mind. It hurt seeing that I was hurting poeple even without trying. I never knew why out of all the people who could have grown up with a bad heart, it had to be me, but God has a plan for everyone, right? I was part of his plan, whatever it was. But even if this was lingering around me, I was going to make this year the year where I will make memories for my best friends and only them. I will refuse to make any more friends... I guess it'll be hard to do, but I'll make it happen. From now on, it's only me and my friends... And my heart against the world.