26. SOMETHING NEW

SOORIN

“The process will be completed in less than two weeks but if you change your mind, we still can work on it. Are you sure you’re not giving a second thought?”

“I thought you are a lawyer, not a marriage consultant.” I reply cockily then take a sip from my cup of tea. I see Kyungsoo shaking his head before handing me a packet of documents.

“Those are the documents of division of wealth upon the divorce. Kris has agreed to give you the half of his properties. He has signed the documents.” Kyungsoo explains.

“I won’t sign anything. I will talk with him later.” I give the documents back to Kyungsoo. Why does Kris not say anything to me about this? Well, I haven’t met him for the last three days. He moved his belongings to Luhan’s apartment and stays there but he can always call me to discuss about this first, right?

“Have you told your parents about the divorce?” Kyungsoo asks, tilting his side slightly to one side. “This is a question from a friend, not from your lawyer.” He adds quickly.

“Not yet. I haven’t found a good explanation to tell them.” I answer frankly.

“You have to give a sensible explanation to the media too. They will find out about the divorce sooner or later, Soorin. Everyone in this nation thinks that you and Kris are a happy couple. It will surprise them when the news of your divorce surfaces.” He retaliates.

I heave a sigh. A good point Kyungsoo made up here. What should I say to the media regarding the divorce? I haven’t told Sehun yet about this. It was more like a quick decision I made after Sehun gave me a hard slap through his words nearly a week ago. I have thought a lot and somehow I found myself concur that there was indeed a part of me thinking that if I could make Kris loves me back then I could win over my sister for once. Gosh, I don’t even know how I could have those shameless thought. Thankfully, Sehun gave me an epiphany.

“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t know you’re here, Kyungsoo-ssi. I will be back later.” Sehun’s voice infuses the room, interrupting my thought. I turn my head almost immediately to see Sehun standing at the entrance, his hand is on the doorknob.

“You don’t need to go, Sehun. I’m done with Kyungsoo.” I say and get up from the couch. Kyungsoo instantly follows my action and bids his goodbye. I see them bowing slightly to each other when Kyungsoo walk through the door. Sehun stares at him for awhile before he closes the door and makes his way toward me. I beckon him to take a sit.

“What is he doing here?” Sehun asks while plopping down himself onto the couch.

“Have you had your dinner already?” I try to change the subject.

“What are you hiding from me now, Soorin?” He asks demandingly.

“I’m not hiding anything. It’s just your thought, Sehun.” I try to sound convincing.

“No, you’re lying to me. You have known yourself better, Soorin. When you’re lying, you have this habit to play with the hem of your shirt when you’re talking and you’re doing it by now in case you don’t notice it.” He replies, lowering his gaze.

I instinctively follow his gaze and find my hands clutching the hem of my shirt like Sehun said. There is no way I can lie to him, uh? Sehun stands up and moves to my right side. He takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, trying to encourage me to tell him the truth.

“I’m filing for divorce from Kris.” I mutter quietly, trying not to look at him in the eyes.

“And you’re not telling me? How long you have been hiding it from me?” He replies.

“I’ve been thinking about this since, you know, the day you said that I probably couldn’t let him go because I wanted to win over my sister. I have to admit that maybe… it’s true. Four days ago, on my way to Park Chanyeol’s apartment, I texted Kyungsoo to prepare the documents for the divorce. I have talked about the divorce with Kris during the drive to Jongin’s place and he agreed. If I didn’t do it first, I would be the one who received the documents from him.

“He thought about the divorce too. Kris wants to set me free. He said that I should look for someone who deserves my love better and he doesn’t want my status as his wife prevents me from finding the right one for me.” I let out a soft chuckle when the image of him talked to me about finding the right one flashes in my mind. It felt like having a brother scolding you for not realizing that you have someone who is waiting patiently for you to see him. Although Kris didn’t mention a certain name, I knew that he was talking about Sehun all the time.

I have to admit that I’m still in love with Kris. I don’t know how long it will take and I don’t think I will stop loving him anytime soon. But somehow, I can see everything in different way now. It felt weird to have your husband encouraging you to stop loving him and give another man, who he claims as someone who deserves you better than himself, a chance. I don’t understand it but it doesn’t feel like him trying to get rid himself of me as soon as possible. It feels like he cares about me because he knows that I’m going to get hurt if we keep this bond.

Maybe we will share a destiny in our next life.

He even tried to cheer me up. That jerk. I knew that he didn’t even say it sincerely. I believe he wants to share a destiny with eonni in every life. Never had I expected that there will be a day where Kris treats me nicely, watching every word he says carefully as if he’s afraid to hurt me. Now I fully understand why he has to treat me like a piece of for the whole two years of our marriage. If he pretended to be a good caring husband yet he divorced me in the end, I don’t think I will let myself to fall in love again because of the heartbreak will be too much for me to handle and I probably won’t notice Sehun forever.

“I’m still here in case you forget.” He says sarcastically while waving his hand in front of my face. I turn my head to see him. He is staring at me and his eyes tell me that he is waiting for a further explanation.

“To put it short, we both agreed to take the divorce.” I say, not knowing what exactly he wants to hear from me.

“Why? You love him, don’t you? Soojin noona is getting married to Park Chanyeol. You got a chance to have a happy ending with him.” He replies, staring directly into my eyes as if he tries to find the answer in it.

“You are not listening to me. If I didn’t do it first, I would be the one who received the documents from Kris. There will be no different, Sehun, and I think separation is the best way for us. There is no way he will return my feeling. That’s the fact I must accept.” I try to explain.

“You said that you are not ready to lose him.” He snaps.

“He is not even mine. I’m losing no one here.” I reply, trying to be realistic.

“Don’t play I’m-stronger-than-you-think with me, Soorin. I know you don’t want to end your marriage with hyung.”

“You’re wrong. I want this. And if you expect to see me cry, then keep waiting because I won’t cry. You said to me that I shouldn’t cry for someone who doesn’t love me and because he doesn’t love me, I should let him go. Do you forget it?” I my head to one side.

There is a moment of prolonged silence before Sehun replies me.

“Will you be happy without him?”

“You also told me that my world won’t stop without him. I realize that in the whole two years of our marriage he never did anything to make me happy. He was never there for me when I needed him. He was never there to wipe my tears when I was crying. He was never there to hug me when I was afraid. He is not the source of my happiness. It is you, Sehun. You are the one who makes me smile. You are the one who always tries to make me happy. I surely will be happy without him as long as I have you by my side.” I smile coyly. I can feel the heat creep up my face.

Sehun blinks his eyes. Once. Twice. Thrice. He clears his throat nervously, his eyes wandering, obviously trying to avoid my gaze. Is he always this adorable or is it just me who has been so blind all this time?

“Thank you.” He mutters quietly, still avoiding.

“Why are you thanking me? It’s me who should say thanks to you, Sehun.”

He shakes his head then brings his gaze to meet mine. “Thank you for noticing me. I thought you will never see me.” He says, smiling.

I’m taken aback by his sincerity. What have I done in the past to deserve someone like Sehun? Gosh, if I can’t make myself love him back then I deserve the deepest part in hell. The guilty feeling washes over me and my eyes become watery all of the sudden. Sehun lifts up his hand to hold the side of my face and wipes my tears using his thumb.

“Hey, you said you won’t cry. Did I say something wrong?” He asks softly. I shake my head. “Then why are you crying?”

“What do you see in me?” I reply his question with another question and I have to admit that I’m startled a bit to hear my own question.

Sehun raises his brows. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

He stares at me for a moment before he speaks. “There are three things I see in you. I see you. I see love. I see my future. Sounds cheesy? But that’s the truth. Because when I see you, I see love. When I see love, I know that you are my future. It is as simple as that.”

The way Sehun looks into my eyes tells me that he means every single word he said and I must be lying if I say that it doesn’t make me flattered. My heart races when I see Sehun lean forward to kiss my forehead. His lips linger against my skin for some moments before he pulls back, leaving the burning sensation on the spot where he kissed me. This is not the first time Sehun kisses my forehead but this is the first time I have butterflies my stomach when he does it.

“Say something, will you? You stare at me too long. I’m really nervous now and you are not helping.” He taps my nose and chuckles.