19. Alteration

Unintended
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19. ALTERATION

 

I don’t want to be any other ordinary person I want to be the only one with the right to protect you

 

“Sleep, Soorin.” Sehun’s voice penetrated the room. He knew that the girl was still awake. He raised his head and though the room was dim, Sehun could see that her eyes were fully open as she stared blankly at the empty ceiling. “Everything is gonna be okay. There is nothing to worry about.” He continued as he pulled himself up to a sitting position.

 

“Kris will do anything to protect them, won’t he?” She muttered quietly and somehow Sehun felt that Soorin didn’t say it to gain a reassurance. There was something more she was trying to say and though he didn’t want to admit it but Sehun could sense the hostility in her voice.

 

“And you don’t want him to.” Sehun hissed coldly. He got up from the couch and walked toward the bed. He gazed down at her, willing to prove that he was right.

 

“I think I will go crazy, Sehun.” Soorin whimpered as she covered her face with both hands.

 

“You are in dilemma.” Sehun rejoined her with much accusation in his tone. Soorin quickly dropped her hands, settling them on her lap before she glanced up at him. “As you said before, you are not ready to lose him.” He looked away to avoid her gaze.

 

“I guess Kris is with my sister now and he simply forgets me that’s why he doesn’t even call me to ask if I’m okay or not.” She heaved a sigh.

 

It is because Kris hyung knows that you are safe with me, Soorin. But Sehun decided not to say it out loud. He kept the words to himself, waiting for her to continue talking.

 

“I want her to be safe. I really do. But to think that Kris will divorce me soon to be with her, I don’t think I can accept it easily. Honestly, I never imagined that Soojin eonni is still alive. I really thought that she was dead and someday Kris would see me after he could finally forget her. But this doesn’t mean that I’m not happy that she is alive. I’m beyond happy to meet her again but this is not something I have prepared myself for. Even when she was not here, Kris refused to give me a chance and now that she has come back, there is no way he will consider about my feeling.”

 

Sehun must be lying if he said that he was not hurt to hear her words. Soorin had just stated how much she loved Kris and she really hoped that Kris would love her back. She really didn’t care about what he had done to her, about the damages he caused her in the whole two years of their marriage. Maybe this was the reason why people said that love was blind. Because when you loved someone, you would simply ignore their flaws, their mistakes, and all the imperfections in themselves. You would continue to love them, enduring every pain you had to feel because of them, with the hope that someday your love would no longer unrequited.

 

“I had a long talk with eonni before and she said that I don’t need to divorce Kris because she is not planning to get back together with him. She also said that she will back off for me. For a single second, I really thought to tell her to stay away, leaving to a place where Kris couldn’t find her and their son. But then I realized, even though Kris thought that she was dead, he didn’t stop loving her. There is nothing I can do to make him stop loving her. My selfishness will just torture them and I need to quiet being selfish but I don’t think that it will be this hard to let him go.

 

“Soojin eonni told me that if I really love Kris then I have to fight harder. How could she be so selfless when she knows that she loves him and he loves her too? How could she not see it as the chance for them to get together? How could she give up on him so easily? I know that it brings so much pain when she encouraged me to fight for him. I can see it in her eyes. She wants Kris but she doesn’t want to hurt me as well so she decided to back off. But why is it so hard for me to do the same thing for her? I always accuse her as a bad sister but the reality is it’s me who has never been a good sister for her, Sehun. She has given me many things but I simply have done nothing good for her.” Soorin reclined herself on the bed, continue gazing at the empty ceiling.

 

“I’m sorry I have to tell you this but love is selfless and you are just too selfish here, Soorin. That’s why you can’t do the same thing for your sister.” Sehun couldn’t hide the coldness in his voice. “You always complain because Kris hyung never sees you or gives you a chance. But look at yourself first. Have you ever tried to give me a chance? I guess no.

 

“When you heard that Soojin noona died, I believe that you were sad but somehow I also believe there was actually a part of you felt happy because you didn’t have to live in her shadow anymore. You told me that you were tired being the wallflower and else, and you keep repeating it again and again every time you feel insulted when people start comparing you to her. You know what? It indirectly leads me to one conclusion that you might think the death of your sister would make the world stop seeing you less worthy than her. But the things just didn’t happen according to your wish. The world continued to compare you to her and you simply never win and I know how you hate it to lose to her time after time.

 

“About Kris hyung, I’m not saying that you lie about your feeling for him. I believe that you love him but it isn’t just about you love him that you wish for him to love you back. It is because you want to prove the world that you can win over your sister for once that’s why you can’t do the same thing for her even though you know it better that anyone else that you are torturing the two of them.”

 

Soorin looked away and Sehun knew that she was hurt but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when the words were in the tip of his tongue. Soorin needed a slap so she could realize that it was not just because she loved Kris she couldn’t let him go. She said it for countless times that she was tired to lose to her sister. It was very obvious that she couldn’t give up on him because she didn’t want to lose once again. Soorin wanted to win his heart because she wanted to win over Soojin.

 

Although Sehun hated to admit it but Soorin was being too selfish this time. She didn’t just hurt herself but she hurt every one of them. He knew that she might not care about his feeling but at least Sehun wished for her to stop hurting herself and her sister who had given her many things like she told him.

 

“Sleep now. I won’t bother you anymore. I will stay at Luhan hyung’s apartment for a few days. You don’t need to look for me. I guess you need time be alone.” And with that Sehun left the room without giving her the last glance though somehow he could feel her staring at him when he was walking through the door.

 

 

Without ringing the bell, Sehun inputted the combination Luhan used as the passcode to open his apartment door. He took off his shoes, heading directly to the living room but before he could reach the room, he suddenly heard a loud thud followed by the sound of glass scattering. Sehun quickened his pace and when he reached the living room, he could see five people gathering in the room but the room was completely messed. There were a lot of broken things on the floor and the mirror that usually hung beside the bookshelves was cracked, and if he was not mistaken, there was a stain of blood on it.

 

Sehun embedded to his spot, trying to digest what was happening right there, right now. Kris kept shouting and throwing things. Luhan was trying to approach Kris but Minseok stopped him, o

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Galaxyboo_
#1
Chapter 31: This is realistic, if I'm in Soorin's shoes, I'll choose sehun too. But in Soojin case, she has someone who lover her but she didn't love him back but she also has someone who she love and love her back so why should she choose Chanyeol when Yifan himself not even bad guy. I mean he didn't hit her, cheat or have any toxic personality that makes her better off without him. So yeah this situation is kinda complicated tbh. It can change depends on the person. In some situation i would choose Chanyeol over someone I love if the one I love don't even love me back or if he actually love me, but he is toxic so yeah.
dreamshun
1803 streak #2
Chapter 7: soorin is like a child
dreamshun
1803 streak #3
Chapter 6: kris, you need to come back to your senses
dreamshun
1803 streak #4
Chapter 5: i feel bad for soorin T_T
dreamshun
1803 streak #5
Chapter 4: right what if it was just a scheme like Kris said 😳
dreamshun
1803 streak #6
Chapter 3: omggg so much angst I'm loving it 😭💖
dreamshun
1803 streak #7
Chapter 2: aww
Justanordinaryfan2 #8
Chapter 30: This was the most beautifully written fic I've read in a long time. I can't describe in words how Kris character made me feel a roller coaster of emotions and how much I wanted the world for him , his love for Soojin was so pure so selfless so mesmerizing it makes me want to have my faith in love too. Thou at some points I hate Soojin for being so stubborn towards her own happiness but I really have to admit her love for Kris also made me speechless .
This was so good author I am so happy I found this *-*
growlol
#9
Chapter 30: wow i cried reading this, the way you portrays about love from the pov of diff character in this story really amazes me i love it so much i feel like you’ve delivered the meaning of love very deeply in this story! i highly respect kris’ love towards soojin, how he respects her decision eventhough it hurts him & knowing that he probably will never learn to love again, that shows how great of his love towards her damn im so touched! i also can’t believe soojin is way more stubborn than i thought hahaha, but she’s actually just too kind & selfless to think about others more than herself. However, i’m so disappointed with chanyeol, he was still selfish until the end, it’s not love but more of an obsession. I’m glad it ended very well, kris & soojin finally get the happy life together like how they deserve! i’m happy that soorin has finally found love in sehun too, it was a well written story!
Bluberry_eri
#10
Chapter 31: Amazing story ❤️