140114

Last January
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14 January 2014

A tall dark haired guy stood at the hospital's roof. He was dressed in a suit in shades of black. The first two buttons were ed to let him breathe comfortably and the black tie he used was loosened up a little around his neck. His face was nothing but exhausted. There were dark circles under his empty eyes. He looked down to watch the people on the road.

"What does it feel like to be someone else?"

"What does it feel like to be anywhere and not here?"

The cigarette burned against his lips. The filter seemed to fade away between his fingertips.

Everyone live's seemed to moved on while his life was stuck at that moment. Now he envied a strangers life. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to face this situation. He would trade anything to be somewhere else. He wondered if he'd jump from the roof the the ground.

How will it feel when his body falls to the ground and hits the cold cement.

How will it feel to lay down lifelessly.

How it feel to be free from all this .

"Jongin oppa. What are you doing here? I was looking for you everywhere. The funeral...." The girl left her words hanging when she saw Jongin smoke the cigarette.

Jongin turned his face lazily which distracted his mind from jump to the ground.

"Oppa... you smoke?" she asked with doubt even though she saw him with her own eyes.

"No" His voice cracked as he dropped the cigarette to the ground and used the heal of his right shoe to stomp on it.

The girl was dressed in black hanbok. Her face was had the same tired expression as Jongin. But the make up helped her cover her sunken eyes.

"Oppa are you okay?" The girl asked and moved closer to Jongin shortening the gap between them. There was a long pause before he answered.

"I'm okay" Jongin gave her crooked smile. He ran his hand through hair.

She leaned closer as she rested her head on Jongin's shoulder and started sobbing.

"Oppa... why did he do that? Why did he leave us? Why so suddenly?" Tears ran down like a razorblade from her eyes.

"Yura" He said while biting his lower lip that gave him a metallic taste.

Jongin pulled her into his arms. Hugged her tightly. He couldn't answer her question. He didn't know the answer or maybe he knew but he didn't want to. Words just got stuck in his throat. He took a deep breath. Unsure with what to say next.

"Everything will be okay. He's safe now"

-

Jongin always hated funerals. It always had a dark surrounding and was full of hysterical sobs.

"Oppa I should go and greet the visitors first" Yura released her arm that linked to Jongin's.

Jongin nodded as he entered the memorial area with nervous footsteps. He removed his shoes. In the centre of the almost empty room there was a framed picture of person he loved surrounded by white

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Comments

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glukaise
#1
Chapter 10: i come back to this masterpiece regularly everytime i get sad. it’s like a little old friend, an emotional support that we be fighting the same darkness & misery.
nicorobin
#2

hey, so I don't know if you still read the comments or not
but a reader left a comment on the video trailer on my channel
maybe if you have a youtube account you can reply it

"My life is tearing apart and I remember this fic all of sudden. I remember vividly this is the first exo fic I have read and it helps me coping with hardness in life 6 years ago. I am so thankful for this fic. it may not matter much to anyone or even the writer, but had not been for this fic I might have ended my life back then. thank you."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQEsy5K_ds8&;lc=UgyaAJc6hf6fqtp8l9R4AaABAg
12hlui #3
Chapter 13: although its sad its very beautiful
DeeDeeGK
#4
Chapter 14: Ok, so- I had this on my subscriptions, I guess I already read it five years ago but I don't remember. I saw the update and thought "well, I will read it again, why not?"
I loved the story but I loved more your notes at the end of every chapter. I somehow undersant the way Jongin feels, I lost my loved one (no by death but breakup) and I still feel so ing alone and sad even when I'm smiling and joking around. I understand too the feelings Jongin had on his parents funeral, I lost my dad 10 years ago and that's exactly how I felt.
You sound like a beautiful person or that's how it looks on your notes. I wish I have someone like you near me.
MissAngel
#5
Chapter 14: This story is like a fresh of air. One that I never know I needed. I've been tending others' heart, I lost myself in the way. I thought I was okay, but does crying myself to bed, having people around me loving me dearly but still feels so lonely is okay? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I can go through this. But sometimes I feel like, who am I again. What am I doing. Why am I such a disappointment. So this story, it gives me the answer I need. I can't run, it's inevitable. But I can face it, stronger, and with facing my fears then I can calm it. So thank you, for making me realised. They say the way you interpret a story is the way you see life. I see this story as the answer I've been mindlessly searching. Thank you so much, thank you.
cyd4294
#6
Chapter 13: Accidental death and he didnt get to say 'I love you' to Jongin ㅠㅠ