Chapter 39

My Gangster

Chapter 39

 

I was crying the whole way back home. Seeing that Se Hun was bleeding and he wasn't even aware of it had hurt my heart. We were so close to home, but I stopped walking and tried to yank him back. He stopped walking when he realized that and turned around to look at me. He looked worried about me more than he was worried about himself. It made me cry even more. How could this stupid gangster kid worry about me so much more than his own health? Yoo Ra was right. He was going to get hurt and it was because of me. I was really a stupid burden.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Se Hun quickly hugged me and patted the back of my head. "It's okay..."

I felt his blood seeping through my clothes as soon as his body came into contact with mine. This is not good. This stupid gangster kid was not going to be able to stand any longer if we kept him here.

"Soo-"

"No!" I pushed Se Hun away from me. "We have to go to the hospital."

"Why? Are you hurt? Is it because of your knee?" Se Hun bent down and looked at my knee, but I turned away from him. "Soo Jin, what's going on?"

"Se Hun... You're... You're bleeding!" I yelled as I pointed to his stomach. "We need to take you to the hospital." I tried to yank him, but my strength wasn't even enough to pull him away. "Se Hun..."

"Ahn Soo Jin, I'm fine. We don't need to go to a hospital." Se Hun grabbed my face and cupped them with his hands. "What is wrong with you? I've never seen you this way."

"You're hurt because of me... Se Hun... Don't say it's okay!" I yelled. "We have to go to the hospital. It's going to get infected if you wait too long!"

"I'm fine, aren't I?" Se Hun tried to smile, but it looked so weak. "Come on."

"No!" When he tried to pull me, I yanked back. "Go to the hospital... Please..."

"Soo Jin..." The blood from his stomach was dripping down to his pants and it was worrying me.

"I can't do this anymore..." I stepped away from his grip.

"What?" Se Hun looked at me confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You... Me... We need to stop all of this." I said as I shook my head.

"Why? We're only beginning..." Se Hun took a step towards me, but I took a step back. "What's gotten into you?"

"Do you know how burdensome it is to have you save me all of the time?" I asked looking up at him. "I feel like I have to owe you my life from how many times you've saved me."

"But I'm choosing to save you..." Se Hun looked hurt when I said what I said, but I kind of had no choice right now.

"Well stop!" I groaned. "I never asked for your help and I didn't ask you to save me. I could have done it myself."

"Don't lie to yourself, Soo Jin..." He growled.

"Maybe you're just bad luck... Right when I met you that Monday, I knew it was just too good to be true that someone out there had saved me from a ." I scoffed angrily. "Ever since our encounter, I've been having bad days and what's even worse is that I've never been hurt so much in my life before! Why did I get involved with a gangster like you?" 

Se Hun was looking at me in disbelief.

"We should stop everything right now before it's too late. You were based on a bet anyways. It ends tomorrow so you don't have to worry about nothing. It was a good thing you didn't fall in love with me, right?" I was swallowing my cries.

There was a moment of silence between us. I didn't know if he was thinking about what he was going to say next, but I knew that I was thinking about my next actions. I could feel my cries scratching at my throat, yelling at me because they couldn't escape. I never knew that there were feelings such as the ones I was feeling right now. How could people do this? Even I couldn't take it. Can't all these stupid feelings go away? Why was I feeling this? I, Ahn Soo Jin, should not be feeling this. This isn't me... No... It's not.

"What if I did fall in love with you?" Se Hun asked under his breath, breaking the silence between us.

I looked at Se Hun, unsure of how to feel. Was he telling me that he was in love with me or what I would do if he was in love with me? Was there a difference?

"Are you still going to want to stop everything?" He asked.

"Why not? I have no feelings for you and this was just all something based on a bet. I guess I could win, huh? You fell in love with me, but I didn't fall in love with you." I huffed a sigh, trying my hardest to keep myself from actually crying like a huge baby in front of him. "I guess after tomorrow, we can go back to our lives, not worrying about having to encounter each other."

"You're lying. You did fall in love with me... You're in denial..." Se Hun groaned at me. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why? Because I want you to know that I don't feel the same way as you and that we should stop this before it's too late." I smirked at him even though it hurt my heart. "This was fun. I'm glad I got to experience how pathetic people looked when they fell in love. Maybe you should go back to Yoo Ra. At least she's in love with you. You both can feel pathetic with each other."

ing ay. How could I say something like this? How could I? These words... Were they really coming from me? I couldn't believe that these kinds of words actually had come from me. I wanted to hug Se Hun and tell him that it was just a lie and that I was the pathetic one... Not him... I really am an idiot.

"Stop it, Soo Jin." Se Hun hissed as he looked at me. "You're lying."

"Go to the hospital and check up on your stomach." I rolled my eyes. "You should worry more about that than something like us."

If I was correct, I could see that that Se Hun's eyes were glistening. That only meant one thing... Se Hun was crying? I tried not to show my reaction by looking away, but seeing that he was actually crying really hurt my heart. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe it was just the moon light glaring against his eyes...

"You don't mean any of this..." He said more quietly to himself than me. "You don't mean it at all."

"No, I mean every word I said. You being around me is a burden." I ran a hand through my hair. "You even scare me somtimes... You always show up out of nowhere and it really gets me. It really is best if we stop this."

"Ahn Soo Jin..." I started walking away from him. "Stop..."

I didn't stop walking. I looked ahead of myself and forced myself not to turn around and give in. Everything that Yoo Ra had said to me was true. I was only being a burden and I was going to end up hurting him because of my stupidity. God, I was stupid. I was crying like a freaking fool now. I don't think he was following me anymore. Good. It was going to be easier than I thought. Now that I finally got everything off my chest, I felt... Worse. None of those words I had said to him were true... He wasn't a burden, I was. Even if he was a gangster, it didn't change the way I felt about him. The bad luck that I've been having? I had good luck because he always came to save me...

"Please..." I suddenly felt Se Hun's arms around my body. He pulled me against him, holding me tightly, not wanting to let me go. "Please don't do this..."

"Get off of me." Why did he have to make me so weak?

"Why are you doing this?!" He forcefully turned me around and pinned me against a brick wall to look at me. "Why are you suddenly acting like this? Did I do something? Did something happen?" He ran a hand through his hair as he looked to the side for a few seconds. "Did Yoo Ra ing say something to you?"

"What? All you're thinking about is Yoo Ra?" I scoffed, even though it hurt saying it.

"Stop it!" He yelled at me angrily.

"Yeah. We should stop this whole thing." I tried to shrug with no emotion. "Besides, I'm getting tired of seeing you and trying to pretend these feelings for you. It's really tiresome."

Se Hun stared at me in disbelief. If there was one thing Se Hun was good at, it was making me feel like and an idiot at the same time. 

"Are you serious, Soo Jin?" Se Hun clenched his fists together.

"Yup." I pressed my lip together.

"This... None of this... Means anything to you?" He asked.

"Nope."

"And what about me?"

"What about you?" I crossed my arms.

"You... You have no feelings towards me..." He sighed, taking a deep breath. "...at all?"

"Nope." I lied, feeling the tears creep up on me. "None at all."

"Fine." Se Hun looked up at me and I swear, I could see tears strolling down his pale cheek.

Without saying anything more, I watched as Se Hun turned around and walk away from me. I was kind of disappointed that he kind of seemed to have given up so easily and because I should have been the one who was walking away, not him. It really hurt seeing people walk out like that and it made me think about how many people have gone through it and how they had felt. We were all feeling the same way? Wanting to scream, telling them that you were wrong and that you need them in your life? That's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to yell, tell him that I was sorry and that I was lying and that I didn't mean any of those words I've just said, but I couldn't utter a word. My throat went dry and I felt as if everything around me was frozen in time until I saw Se Hun's body slowly hit the cement under him.

"SE HUN!"

 

 

I had placed two spoons in the freezer last night before I headed to bed. My eyes looked terrible and my face was all chubby from crying. I quickly showered and did my hair. After I dressed up, I ran down to get the frozen spoons and placed them over my eyes. I hope they would swell down before it was time to go to school. I didn't want anyone to see that I was crying my eyes out on the day that I had to face my reality with Jae Hyun. Goodness, what was I going to do? This was going to be one of the worst days ever.

When I got to school, I ran into my classroom and ducked my head to avoid eye contact with anyone. My eyes surprisingly went down, but that didn't change the fact that I cried. Jung Ah was giving me weird looks. She was probably wondering why I was acting so weird, but I couldn't tell her here. Class went by a blur and I wish it didn't. That meant that it was time for lunch. I didn't want to go, but a lot of people surrounded my classroom and waited for me. Great. Just great. It was as if I was walking to my death. I probably was.

Jung Ah hooked her arm with mine while we made our way to the lunchroom. A lot of the students around us were already whispering and making bets. Most of them were siding with me, saying that I had gotten Se Hun to fall in love with me while a few others said that it didn't happen and that Se Hun was only feeling bad for me. I didn't know if I should feel upset about how those people were thinking. They didn't really know anything, so I couldn't be mad, right? Then again, their opinions didn't matter.

There was already a crowd formed in the center of the cafeteria. I saw Jae Hyun standing in the middle, talking with a few of his friends. He was laughing, as if he thought he had won. I wish I could have dropped kicked him right there for thinking that. I made my way over, letting Jung Ah go, and walked into the middle of the circle. A lot of the people who were surrounding us were all gasping, whispering, anything you can name about talking. It was pretty tense between Jae Hyun and I. He had his arms crossed and he was smiling at me, as if he was really happy to see me. Can I kick him across the face?

"How should we start this off?" Jae Hyun asked as he walked towards me.

"I don't know, Jae Hyun, you're the one who started this bet." I rolled my eyes. "Maybe you should start this off."

"Ah, where's your Oh Se Hun? Why didn't you bring him along?" Jae Hyun raised his eyebrow at me. "He should be here to confirm his feelings so it can make things go by faster."

I bit my lip. "Why does he need to be here to confirm it?"

"Because how will I know if you're lying or not?" He was right. I could have lied about it.

"I don't need him here to confirm anything." I crossed my eyes and looked around the room. My eyes landed on Lu Han, Chan Yeol, Baek Hyun, and Kai, who were standing by the entrance watching us.

"Then tell me, Ahn Soo Jin, did our friend, Oh Se Hun fall in love with you?" Jae Hyun pursed his lips. "Or did he not fall in love with you?"

I bit my lip and swallowed. These thoughts of Se Hun and I from last night were running through my mind suddenly, making my heart squeeze in my chest, causing my eyes to water. I was trying really hard to contain myself in front of this crowd.

"After these three long months, did you learn anything? Did anything happen?" Jae Hyun kept pestering me with questions. "Did you fall in love? Did you feel anything"

I stared at him, frustrated.

"Tell us, Soo Jin, did Oh Se Hun fall in love with you?" Jae Hyun kept urging me.

I closed my eyes and felt tears brimming my eyes. "Se Hun..." I opened my eyes and my eyes went back to the boys who were all still staring at me, as if they were very immersed in this. "He... He didn't fall in love with me..." My eyes never left the guys.

This made the whole student body go crazy. A few high fived, others groaned in defeat, and I saw Jung Ah's face twist, as if she knew how I truly felt, but she couldn't do anything about it.

Jae Hyun froze for a minute but quickly composed himself again. "Wait, I couldn't hear you right, Soo Jin." He held his hand behind his ears, making it so it he could hear better. "Can you please repeat what you had just said?"

"Se Hun didn't fall in love with me." Saying these words hurt my heart even though he's never said it himself.

"That means you have to kiss me." Jae Hyun made his way towards me, making the whole student body quiet and stare. "Should I make this quick or should I enjoy it?"

My lips started trembling before I could say anything. Jae Hyun leaned in and I suddenly felt his breath on my lips. I could feel his presence nearby and just as he was getting closer, I decided to close my eyes to avoid any eye contact, but a tear dropped, rolling down my cheeks. I was about to break down at any moment and I knew that it was going to be a mess. I felt Jae Hyun cup both my cheeks with his hands as he leaned forward. His lips weren't touching mine and I was afraid that if I took a breath or made a move, our lips would touch.

I swear, we were standing there for at least thirty seconds and before I knew, Jae Hyun pulled back. I immeidately opened my eyes and stared at Jae Hyun. For the first time in my life, the way Jae Hyun looked at me made my heart feel at ease. 

But the crowd, why were they going crazy?

 

 


 

**A/N: Did you hear about our boys dyeing their hair and recording for their MV? Who's excited? I AM :DDD I'm so excited to see them come back even though it's a little too quick for me :( I hope they're getting enough sleep and are eating well! But anyways, here's an update for you subbies so enjoy reading! Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent readerThank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!

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Comments (3132)

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Q-bangtan
#1
nice (‘∀’●)♡
ulfahrahma #2
OMG. HONESTLY IM BAD AT ENGLISH BUT IM WILLING TO OPEN AN TRANSLATOR TO READ THIS AMAZING STORY. I LOVE DIS STORY SO MUCH AND LOVE SEHUN TOO KEKEKE~
fiveshiningstars
#3
omg I love this fanfic so much it's unreal <3 <3 <3
baekyeon_kaistal
#4
Chapter 32: My heart breaks... Soo Jin experience hearrbroken for the first time.
baekyeon_kaistal
#5
Chapter 2: The second hand embarassment I feel after reading... my gosh Soo Jin... haha
lazy_lazuli
#6
Sehun would make a hot gangster in rl XD
Chippy_EL
#7
Chapter 46: I like this! Hope to see more great stories from you! :)
Miikorin #8
I quite like the plot and how gentle sehun is but the thing is that you made sojin character seems like self centered egoistic girl and bratty plus how she always end up get into trouble seems unnatural to me. You describe it as if sojin herself want to get into trouble, like i can see it beforehand everytime she will get into trouble. Maybe if you reduce the mind talking sojin 'hell yeah i'm ahn sojin' a little bit it will be better i guess. But since this is you first fanfic, it's great that you can write good first plot like this. Fighting!!
Tbh i always like fanfic, i've read it from this site since 2011 and found a lot of amazing stories but i'm sorry this isn't it.
ruthy7
#9
This story is pure gold..i really love itt
RavenUchiha
#10
Chapter 48: Wow. This was a great story. Though I wonder whatever happened to YooRa.