Chapter 34

My Gangster

Chapter 34

 

It was late the day I decided to go to the cafe and I'm sure it was going to close soon, but I had been there all day, supposedly studying. I was sitting in the cafe with my books in front of me. I was staring blankly at it, forgetting why I was here and what I was doing. For the first time, I didn't even buy myself a drink because my thoughts were bashing at my head and it would have been a waste anyways. Even though I was able to avoid Se Hun at all times the past few days, I was still lost in my thoughts. I didn't even know if I was awake or not anymore. Why did I have to run into Yoo Ra and why did her words have to bother me so much?

All of the things she's said had been lingering in my mind. I didn't even forget any single word, nor did I forget how she looked when she told me about it all. For some reason, I wanted to find a way for her and Se Hun to talk. I wanted Se Hun to know the truth and that it was not Soo Hyuk's fault that Yoo Ra ended up in the hospital and that Yoo Ra really still loved him and she had only broke up with him because she couldn't stand to see that she cheated on him and it was only because she wanted to better herself. 

Ever since Yoo Ra told me her side of the story, I've been avoiding everyone possible, or at least I tried. I didn't feel like talking to anyone since I didn't think my mind was in it's right mind anyways and everything around me was going a little crazy. I've been trying to avoid Se Hun the most and surprisingly, it was successful. He never showed up in front of me, but I saw him often at school for some reason. It was weird because I never see him around at school unless there was something big happening. I hope he didn't realize that I was purposely trying to avoid him; I tried to make it seem as casual as possible.

They always say that first loves are always the hardest to forget. It's okay for me to say that I understood them, right? I knew both sides of their stories and I could probably say I understood the both of them. Se Hun's heartbroken because of Yoo Ra and Yoo Ra's hurt because she broke Se Hun's heart. Or maybe I still didn't understand why they were both acting the way they were. Ah, why am I even thinking about this? Why was I feeling this way? This is not something I should get involved in. No...

"Can I get a Choco Bubbletea?"

My eyes darted down to the first floor where I saw Se Hun and Lu Han. Great. Just when I thought I was good at avoiding this guy for the past few days, here they were, at the counter ordering drinks for themselves. This reminded me of the time where I forced myself to go ask Se Hun to date me. Goodness. To this day, I am still traumatized about being rejected. That also reminded me that I wanted to get stab with a straw. Crap. What a bad and embarrassing encouter. I shook my head and laughed to myself. This was something I wasn't going to ever forget. Even if it's something I didn't want to remember, it was something to look back on.

I must have been really occupied when my thoughts because I didn't even notice that Se Hun was making his way up to me. Lu Han made his way out of the building, as if this was his cue to leave the two of us alone here. This was one of the oddest feelings I've ever had because I didn't want to see Se Hun and I didn't want to talk to him. I started packing up my things before he sat down. I had to find a way to leave as soon as possible so I can successfully avoid him.

"Were you studying here this whole day?" Se Hun asked as he sipped onto his drink.

I nodded my head, trying to avoid his eyes.

"Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" I saw Se Hun raise his eyebrow from the corner of my eyes. "Did something happen?"

"No... Nothing happened." I stood up and put my backpack on.

"Oh? You're leaving already?" He asked. "Are you going home?"

"Yeah. I've been here all day. I'm tired." I yawned. "Don't you know you're never supposed to drink anything sweet at night?" I said as I made my way down the stairs. "It'll give you bad dreams when you sleep."

"Ah, I never knew that." He scoffed as he followed me out the door. "Let me walk you home."

I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him. I held a hand up in front of him. "No, I don't need-"

"What? You want me to hold your hand?" Se Hun cut me off and grabbed my hand that I was holding up and pulled me off. "You don't have to ask."

"No... That's not what I meant." I pulled my hand out from his hands. 

Se Hun looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "Why are you acting so weird?"

"It's just... I... I want to go home alone..." I shook my head and blew out a sigh.

"I never even walk you home..." He scoffed and this made me realize that yeah, he's never once walked me home. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

I bit my lip and the first person who popped up in my mind was Yoo Ra. Looking at Se Hun made me think of her and her words. I wanted him to know, but was it even in my place to say anything?

"You've been avoiding me a lot these past few days, Soo Jin. I thought I was just seeing things at first, but I think you're really trying to hide from me" Se Hun said as he sipped onto his drink. "I feel like there's something bothering you and it has to do something with me."

I closed my eyes and blew out a sigh.

"What?"

"Se Hun..." I stopped and looked at him. He was staring at me, his bubbletea down by his side. "I... You..." Crap. I was stuttering. I just didn't know how to bring it up. It just wasn't in my place to do so.

"What, Soo Jin?" Se Hun stepped towards me.

"I feel like... I feel like you should... You should talk to..." I pinched the bridge of my nose angrily. Why couldn't I just let it out? Why was I stuttering and why did I feel so nervous? "You should talk to Lee Yoo Ra." I said rather too quickly.

"What?" Se Hun was taken aback. He was now staring at me like I really had become crazy. "What did you just say?"

"You should talk to Yoo Ra." I said again as I sighed. "You need to hear what she has to say."

"You're kidding me, right, Soo Jin?" He raised his eyebrow at me in a frustrated manner.

"No... I'm not kidding." I said quietly. "I talked to her..."

"You talked to her?!" His voice sounded upset, as if I had betrayed him.

"No, it's not like that... We ran into each other and we just-"

"Just what? You listened to what she had to say?!" He cut me off angrily, throwing his bubbletea to the side, making it splattere against the ground.

"I... I don't understnad why you're so upset..." I furrowed my brows as I took a small step back, afraid that he was going to lash out at me.

"You don't understand? Well , Soo Jin, it looks like you never understand anything to begin off with!" Wow, was he really trying to offend me when I've done nothing wrong?! "Why do you always get involved?!"

"Oh? It's my fault because she came up to me and poured her heart out to me?!" I groaned angrily, trying to keep myself from yelling at him since we were in the streets and there were a few passerbies.

"You already know how I feel!" I saw Se Hun clench his fists together as he took a deep breath. "I don't have to listen to her explanation. It's not going to mean anything."

"You don't know that!" I hissed.

"How would you know?! You know nothing about relationships!" He retorted at me.

I bit my lip when he said this. It kind of hurt that he would say this to me. Yeah, he was right; I knew nothing about relationships, but did he have to say it like that? I at least knew what feelings were and what it meant to give other people a chance to talk.

"You don't even know what she has to say..." I scoffed quietly.

"Stay out of this." His voice was so cold, it made me cringe. "I should have never told you."

"You're right. You shouldn't have." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry I forced you."

How could Se Hun be so ruthless? He offended me and I didn't even do anything wrong. It wasn't my fault that he told me, right? Did I really force that stupid gangster kid to tell me? And why was it my fault that Yoo Ra found me and told me when I didn't even ask her to? God, I was pissed off! How could I get blamed for I didn't even do? Stupid. Stupid. I turned my body and started to walk off, not caring if he was going to do something, but I could already hear him following after me. I was irritated enough and him grabbing my hand made me blacklash at him. I hit his arm away so hard, that he flinched.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled, glaring at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He yelled in my face. "Why are you mad? You have no right to be mad!"

"Oh? I have no right to be mad? Well god, Se Hun, I'm sorry I didn't know that!" I have never felt so frustrated in my entire life. Even studying didn't make me feel this way. What the hell was wrong with this stupid gangster kid? How did I have no right to be mad? He can't just say whatever he likes and thinks it's okay!

"You know how to react when it comes to me, but when it comes to all those other bastards, you act like you can't do ?!" He hissed under his breath. "Maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you wanted all that to happen to you!"

I looked at him and I started crying. "Yep. You're right Se Hun. I didn't want to stop that from touching me or that other who tried to have with me or even better, I wanted Soo Hyuk to ing kiss me until I couldn't breathe! But no, you always ing showed up! You're always ing ruining things for me, you know that?" I've never cried over frustration, but here I was, showing it.

Se Hun was staring at me and I could tell he must have felt terrible for what he had said to me, but I was too pissed off to even care what he had to say anymore. I turned back around and started to walk off. Instead of grabbing my hand or arm like he did before, I felt his arms wrap around my body tightly. He was hugging me from behind and his head was leaning against the side of my head. I could feel his breath on my neck and his scent lingered around me.

"Get off of me, Se Hun." I tried to shove him away, but he held me tighter.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean any of it." Se Hun sighed, letting his breath tickle my skin. "I was just angry and frustrated, but you're right... It's not even your fault. I wanted to tell you and I'm sure you didn't make Yoo Ra tell you... She must have forced you to listen to her..."

Even though my temper had cooled down from his touch and these last few words of his, I was still upset that he said I knew nothing about relationships. It really offended me. I already knew that fact, but the fact that he had to remind me really triggered my emotions.

"Ahn Soo Jin." Se Hun turned me around so I was now facing him. He held my shoulders with his hands and squeezed it. "I'm sorry about what I said... That... That you didn't know anything about relationships." He blew out a sigh and pressed his lips together. "You probably can see the picture better than I can... I shouldn't have said that you didn't understand."

That rung a bell in my head. Is that what my parents meant? I saw the whole thing and understood it because I wasn't part of the picture but Se Hun and Yoo Ra were? Wow. All my questions were getting answered! Now, that left me with Choi Jae Hyun's riddle...

"Yah!" Se Hun shook me.

"Oh, sorry..." I said biting my lip.

"Please, please don't take any of my words too seriously..." Se Hun said avoiding my eyes. "I didn't mean it..."

"I'm still mad at you." I snarled as I wiped up my tears. "Just because you apologize doesn't mean I forgive you."

"Then what?" He tilted his head and raised his eyebrow at me.

"I'll think about what you can do to make it up to me." I pressed my lips into a thin line and turned around.

"No, I have a better idea." Se Hun grabbed my hand and spun me around and quickly pressed his lips against mine.

I stood there in shock. Se Hun was... Kissing me... His lips were moving against mine slowly. Damn, did his lips feel so nice pressed against mine. They were so soft and tender... I was just about to give in and kiss him back, but I stopped myself from doing so. I pushed him off quickly and held a hand out to put a distance between us. He bit his bottom lip and smiled at me, as if he liked that I was reacting like this.

"Better?" He raised his eyebrow.

"No..." My breathing stopped for a split second. "What is wrong with you?!"

"You act like this is the first time, Ahn Soo Jin." He scoffed.

I slapped my hand on my mouth and covered it. "Stupid gangster kid!"

"What did you just say?!" He furrowed his eyebrows angrily.

"Nothing..." I turned around and ran off before he could get me.

"Yah!" I heard him scream, but I did not turn back around.

 

 


 

**A/N:  Reading all your comments on these updates seriously make my day <3 I love that you all are taking this so seriously and are actually putting in real opinions about relationships like this. Lol. I love you all, subbies <3 Enjoy this update! Also, I have another story that's going to come soon after I finish this one. It's called Goodbye Autumn. It features Chenchen <3 But note that I won't be posting until I'm done with this story though, but please still support and read :D. Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent readerThank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah!

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Comments (3129)

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baekyeon_kaistal
#1
Chapter 32: My heart breaks... Soo Jin experience hearrbroken for the first time.
baekyeon_kaistal
#2
Chapter 2: The second hand embarassment I feel after reading... my gosh Soo Jin... haha
LaZyLaZuLI
#3
Sehun would make a hot gangster in rl XD
Chippy_EL
#4
Chapter 46: I like this! Hope to see more great stories from you! :)
Miikorin #5
I quite like the plot and how gentle sehun is but the thing is that you made sojin character seems like self centered egoistic girl and bratty plus how she always end up get into trouble seems unnatural to me. You describe it as if sojin herself want to get into trouble, like i can see it beforehand everytime she will get into trouble. Maybe if you reduce the mind talking sojin 'hell yeah i'm ahn sojin' a little bit it will be better i guess. But since this is you first fanfic, it's great that you can write good first plot like this. Fighting!!
Tbh i always like fanfic, i've read it from this site since 2011 and found a lot of amazing stories but i'm sorry this isn't it.
ruthy7
#6
This story is pure gold..i really love itt
RavenUchiha
#7
Chapter 48: Wow. This was a great story. Though I wonder whatever happened to YooRa.
RavenUchiha
#8
Chapter 45: So, I'm confused. Whatever happened to Yoo Ra? Did Se Hun say something to her? She's not pestering Soo Jin.
RavenUchiha
#9
Chapter 36: Oh man, Yoo Ra is going to get punched when Sehun finds out what she did.
RavenUchiha
#10
Chapter 20: Se Hun is slowly weeding himself into Soo Jin's life. LOL!