As I walked to the bushes in a clear sunny day, the wind approached me wholeheartedly with its soothing breeze. I missed this place. It has been five long years since I last visited the tipsy edge of perfectly yellow sunflower field. The last thing I remembered that time was that this place made so memories in my lifetime. There were so much that I felt the overwhelming sensation within my throat. Tears fell off from my eyes. Suddenly, I remembered someone, whose hair as yellow as a bright sunflower in the fields, whose eyes as brown as the wet mud during rainy days and whose smile as sweet as a flower’s nectar. His dimples would remind me of a happy kid from the skies. I called him Unicorn, as he used to heal people’s lives with his optimism. He was so loved by me.

“Soo Ah!” a familiar voice called me. It was Suho, my husband waiting for me for an hour already.

“I’m coming,” I answered. Suho and I decided to pay a vacation in our hometown. He would not let me be separated by his side, that’s why even though he didn’t like my hometown, he went with me.

I grew up in an orphanage, with my appearance different from a typical Korean girl. My skin was darker and my eyes were bigger. The caretaker of the orphanage, Yoon Kwang, who became my second father told me that I might be a foreigner. They had no idea where I came from or who my parents were.

When I was in grade school, I was teased and bullied. They would say that I didn’t belong. They would call me “Charcoal”. And they would push me that I would lost my crane. I was blind. That moment, I thought that I was abandoned by my parents to suffer and die a painful, meaningless death.

“You will always be my daughter, no matter what,” Yoon Kwang appa would always say. I thought was so useless that I didn’t see any purpose to live. Until one day, he came.

 

(Five years ago...)

My father decided to take me to a check-up for my eyes. It was an hour drive from the orphanage. When we reached there, the clinic was closed so we had no choice but to go home. My father have always had faith that one day, I could see the world. I would hear his sigh of disappointment whenever I felt none of that faith.

“Maybe you should stop schooling for a while,” he told me one day. “The expenses in this orphanage is getting bigger. We had no funds left and I’m afraid I might let you stop.”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to learn. “Don’t worry, Soo Ah. You’ll return next year,” he added.

“But why, appa? I can study without allowance. You know I can. I can work if you want to,” I answered.

“I’m just afraid that... you know, I was just protecting you,” he said.

“You are protecting my blindness, appa,” I told him. “I’m going upstairs.”

I left him and went straight to my room. I went crying for hours and hours, until I realized that I was so weak. I realized that I am not meant to live in a life that I wanted.

I stopped going to school and went helping my father and Hye Young and Hye Ji, twin sisters who stopped working in the city hospital and chose to be with parentless kids here in the province. They said this was their passion, not their profession. They were orphans too. They treated me like their younger sister, they used to carry me when I was a little kid. I would ask them how they look like. “Silly, we look like each other.”

One day, Hye Ji unnie asked me to return the unused chopped woods to the warehouse, like she was asking for a help from a normal person. I still had to walk with my cane to guide me, holding one by one of the woods. For seventeen years, I knew where north was, or the east. And the reverse would come along. It was like I had a map in me.

After helping Hye Ji unnie, I asked her permission to go to the fields, the farthest I think I could go with my blind eyes. When I reached the fields, I just felt that peculiar kind of happiness I seldom find in my own comfort zone. The place was like a comfort zone out of comfort zone. I felt that safe.

Suddenly, I heard a humming voice. It was definitely not from a girl. I felt very nervous. Something bad might happen to me that time. I remained calm. I slowly walked backwards, thinking the person with the humming voice not to hear me. Suddenly, I stepped the slippery mud and stumbled down.

“Ooh! What was that!” he alarmed. I heard him walking towards me.

“Please don’t hurt me,” I screamed.

“No, I won’t hurt you,” he said. I still felt very nervous. “No, thank you. I can handle this,” I told him.

He let me stand by my own. I held my crane tightly. “A blind like you should not be alone, especially in here.” He probably saw my condition.

“I am not blind. I just... I just can’t see you,” I said. I hated when people called me blind. I slowly turned away from him. I could hear him grin ridiculously.

“Wait!” he shouted.

“What?” I answered, without turning to him.

“Next time, bring your eyeglasses, so you can see me,” he said.

I didn’t answer. I continued walking home. I could hear footsteps. He must be following me.

“Excuse me, mister. I would like to ask you why you are following me.” I asked.

“I’m not following you. It’s just a coincidence that we’re heading on the same way,” he answered. “How do you know it was me?”

“I could smell you. You actually smell like a... like a man,” I told him, while walking. “I can hear you too. In fact, you’re five years older than me, 5 foot 9 inches tall, right-handed and you have low blood pressure. You also have a slight breathing difficulty.”

“How do you know my age, my height and everything? Would you mind asking, how old are you?”

“I’m 17,” I answered.

“Whoa! I think your ears and your nose found the functions of your eyes. Impressive... what’s your name again?” he asked.

“I’m blind,” I answered.

“Nice meeting you, Blind. I’m Unicorn,” he proudly said.

“Wait! Unicorn is not a name!”

“And Blind is not a name either. Just tell me your name, that’s all,” he said.

“I’m... I’m Soo Ah.”

“I’m Lay. I just moved here from China,” he said.

“Wow! Your Korean’s good,” I told him.

“I know,” he said. “My stepfather’s a Korean. He owns the fields, actually.

“Really?” I curiously asked. So my favourite place in the world has an owner.

“You like the fields?” he asked. I nodded. “He wanted me to have a vacation here. I thought it would be boring until I saw the fields. So beautiful.”

I stopped walking. That moment, I was so jealous with Lay. I had experience the love of the fields, but I’ve never seen the beauty of it, or I would never see it ever.

“Oppa,” I called him.

I felt him running towards my side. “Is there something wrong?”

I stood there for a few seconds and finally I asked, “Is there any chance for a person who can’t see like me to see the world?”

There was silence. By his breathing, I could say he was thinking of an answer.

“I think you already saw the world. You live by faith and not by sight,” he said. “Cheer up.”

“What if I don’t have any faith anymore?” I asked and started to walk again.

“I think you have faith. You just can’t feel it,” he said. “How can you walk alone to the fields?”

“I listen to the sound of the wind. It calls me every time I feel alone,” I answered.

“Therefore you have faith. How would you know where the fields is and how would you know that you’ve reached the fields already? You did it without your sight because you used something in you. And that’s faith.”

“Soo Ah! Where are you?!” my father was calling for me from afar.

“I better keep going. Nice meeting you, Oppa,” I told him. I bowed down for respect.

“I better too. My dad’s waiting for me, I guess. See you, Soo Ah,” and he went ahead. Minutes later, my father saw me.

“Where have you been, Soo Ah? I’ve been looking for you.”

“Appa, I made a new friend.”

“Really? Who?” he asked.