“yah yoo changhyun are you crazy?! Why would you mess with those scumbags”

Ricky woke from the jonghyun’s rather loud voice, which was demanding his attention and his response. It was the first time he heard the younger’s voice so clear, usually it would rather be slurred or even nothing at all.

Raising his eyebrows the elder was pleased, he noticed something that had made his heart slightly flutter.

“u..uh? you remember my name?”

Smirking, the amusement was bright on changhyun’s lips. Who would have known that jonghyun noticed when the entire time the elder ever thought that his presence was just nothing but a nuisance.  But clearly it was wrong, too wrong as changjo looked away and cleared his throat, hiding the pinkish taints on his pale milky cheeks.

Seeing the flush on jonghyun’s face ricky giggled as he spoke.

“aigoo there goes your cold city boy image jonghyun”

“otoke, your image is practically ruined”

Returning the sarcastic comment with a wide smile, the boy told changhyun while scratching his head.

“haven’t you heard, I’m insane”

Ricky did and he liked it. The rumors were true; the cold unbreakable looking choi jonghyun was really just another boy. All the differences were how he never spoke much and never cared much.  Walking back to class together jonghyun noticed how the elder’s eyes were lock on the sky, closed at times when the breeze hits their face and that slight smile the boy made. It made a small spark within the boy’s heart. He never knew that life could be so simple, so happy.

That subtle curl at the corner of changhyun’s lips made changjo curious, was life so easy? But he sworn that the bruises he saw a few days ago were still bright and definitely painful.

What was it, the secret within ricky’s smile

Noticing the stare changhyun glared back at the taller lad with a puzzled look on his face, jonghyun expression was indescribable, a look that is chilly but laced perfectly thin with concerns.  Deciding to brush it off ricky just looked away, swallowing his growing curiosity.

Weeks passed and not much changed. It was school then part time and home, a relentless cycle for the petite boy. But at least with that tiring cycle, money was one of the things he wouldn’t have to fuss over and indeed even with one less thing in his mind, the boy was thankful. Chunji like always were never seen unless it was for dinner and that too if he wanted to eat.

He is in fact an angel.

But changhyun never forgot to prepare three set of meals, even when it was obvious that the other two set of plates would just chill over and be thrown away. And while waiting he would stare at the empty seats and cold food. Reminiscing how it used to be when ljoe was around, he could see it perfectly clear.

Chunji was smiling bright, stacking the plates together as he stared at the two boys eagerly waiting for their meal. He made their favorite food, mashed potato with black pepper gravy, and steak. A simple and humble meal, still the word of fresh grilled meat never failed to summon changhyun and byunghun to the dinner table. Walking rather relaxed the elder grinned even wider when his eyes met with byung’s beautiful emerald green eyes.

“stop giving me ‘the stare’ byung. Haha food is coming okay, patience….”

Changhyun who was like an innocent child giggled at the sight of the quarreling two as he slyly sneaked some of the mashed potato into his mouth. However the youngest stopped chewing the moment he felt this familiar shiver ran down his spine, the two smiling angels were on him.

Staring with a deathly gaze, two gleaming eyes were on his puffed, potato filled cheeks.

“yoo chang….”

Ljoe smirked pleasingly the moment he saw Ricky’s apologetic dooey eyes and just like a father the elder ran his hand over changhyun’s fluffy brown hair, messing with it until the youngest smacked his hand away.

“aigooooo~ this adorable rascal”

Rubbing his sore hand, ljoe looked back at his partner who was sitting in front of ricky. chanhee just could not help but to smile at the heart warming sight. A dinner with people he loves most is the best thing he could ever ask, he never wanted more.

Now he could not even bear walking past the dining room. Because he knew how empty it was and how heart breaking it is to know that the only person in it was changhyun. Alone and cold waiting for his presence. Still stepping out of his room was like stepping on shards of microscopic glass, somewhat like thousands of splinter, a jagging pain that was never fatal.

Still it resonates into chanhee’s deepest flesh. Memories were painful.

“hyung… don’t you want to eat? i…. made steak”

Outside the chanhee’s door, changhyun held his breath as he waited patiently. Not for the door to open but rather an answer. He needed it that answer so that he could just look past their favorite food and sleep ahead.

“no…. eat changhyun-ah. You’re bone and skin already…”

“so eat y-yah”

A sad melancholic smile on appeared on Ricky’s face, that name he thought gone. Chunji remembered it, just the way it used to be.

Pulling chunji closer, byunghun smiled sweetly at the child infront of him. In his arms chanhee slept well, leaving changhyun to ljoe’s care. Ricky who peeked at the couple smiled as he continued solving the jigsaw puzzle. Thousands pieces of the puzzle scattered on the floor solved rather easily by the smart child.

When suddenly the boy was stuck on one piece, pouting and grunting changhyun was slowly losing his patience.

“it goes at the left end of the frame y-yah. Haha relax will ya, it’s just a puzzle”

“ but it’s so annoying Joe! Puzzles are meant to be solved”

Sobbing the boy crawled up to byunghun’s lap and nuzzled his small head between ljoe’s arm, still pouting as he threw the piece away. Seeing what he did byung pinched the child’s cheeks and spoke.

“puzzles are meant to be solved. But sometimes it can wait. Solve it with patience and attention, and then it will all be unraveled. The time you spent will be the golden treasures in your memory.”

“arasso y-yaaaah~”

“my name is not y! It’s not ricky too, it changhyun!”

“nope. Im gonna call you y forever”

Tears streamed down changhyun’s cheek as he kneeled silently in front of chanhee’s door. He cupped his face but it kept overflowing, sobs occasionally fell out of those lips as he laid his forehead on the wooden door. He was sorry. So so sorry, that both of them could never hear that name coming from byunghun anymore.  

Mianhae hyung…. Those words echoed endlessly inside Ricky’s head. Chunji who was inside the room could smell changhyun’s tears as he struggled to contain his own. Hugging his knees by the corner of the dark room, big platinum wings unleashed, cowering the boy’s lean body stopping the lights from reaching pieces of his own skin. The sound of changhyun’s heavy breath, the silent wails, chanhee could hear it ever so clearly.

Cupping his ears tight, he murmured….

“ss..stop”