Gusts of steam streamed out of chunji’s lips as his insides burned worst each breath he took. His eyes stings from what he saw and his lips bled as the angel tried to calm himself down, again and again even when he knew this flame inside of him will never subside. Envy fueled it into a storm and made his world green, everything was tingling hot.

It was wrong, to have these emotions. But his heart was wild and being with changhyun for so long made his judgments rusty. This undetermined feeling he had for the child he raised was nauseating, his love was decided, and it was always ljoe. Byunghun practically summed up his existence but when that benchmark disappeared and ricky was only thing holding him back, logic faded rapidly into his agony.

“I’ll kill that stupid half-blood the moment I see him again”

“I swear”

♦

Slowly the reds on jonghyun cheeks became visible to the eyes, no matter how hard he tried to cover the throbs behind his blank face, and his sapphire tinted eyes were too obvious especially to changhyun.

“are you alright jonghyun? You’re… sweating”

Ricky’s suspicion swelled bigger each time he ignored the tall lad’s silent grunts. Worries bloated inside his mind however the fear he had inside of him were overwhelmingly blinding. He didn’t have the guts to ask because deep inside his heart he knew exactly that something was wrong.

“nahh… it’s a bit hot don’t ya think. Uhm I know im handsome and all but would you please stop staring, howon is judging us right now”

Casually the boy took his hands up to ricky’s head, ruffling changhyun’s deep fluffly brown hair while blithely smiling. Howon continued his sentence as they sat together chatting along, but even when someone made a joke, ricky’s lips were too tout from smiling. His brooding gaze never left changjo as he watches over the boy sleeping away for hours.

“jonghyun ah… school’s over dude. Wake up.”

“changjo………”

Ricky stared silently at the two as he bit his lips, fighting the anxieties from overtaking his composure.

“jonnghyun!!”

Then, the sting in his eyes became unbearable as his well-kept silence faltered; pushing the class rep aside changhyun stood up and started to shake jonghyun. Like falling rain, his wet cheeks silenced howon for a moment; lee howon had never seen such desperation before.

There was no response.

“Wake up you stupid pole. Aishh…”

“CHOI JONG HYUN!”

The brightly lit class became monochromic in a matter of heartbeats as changhyun pleaded again and again for any response from jonghyun. He knew this would happen and he blamed himself because he was too selfish to push changjo away, too desperate for comfort and finally too naïve to believe that somehow the tall strong boy he knew would hold on.

But chunji proved him wrong.

“Please…. Don’t do this to me. do..don’t leave me okay….”

“changjo-ya..”

His weak knees managed to hold him up despite the paralyzing terror that was blinding him, but when Howon slightly nudge him aside, like a dead bird the boy fell to the ground. Still choking on his sobs, the shaking floor felt like it was engulfing him inside. Sights stolen as tears blurred his view and heart jagged, because that moment was exactly the same.

And even for the same reason, for the same desperation, yoo changhyun was on the verge of losing someone who cared.

≈♦≈

"Hyung.... hy....Byunggie....hyung...."

Platinum feathers filled the bloody floor, tainted with so much red it was barely visible to his eyes. Byung’s motionless chest felt like ice against ricky’s skin as he struggled to regain his fleeing consciousness. Then freeing himself from the elder’s arm, the boy froze and his trembling lips gapped at the sight of byunghun. Lying there lifeless.

His eyes, however managed to trail the bloodstain realizing that something was terribly wrong.

A few feet away from the blood pool, something was glistening even under the dark clouds and pouring rain. A strong, big, platinum wing lay on the dirty, rusted floor, broken and torn from Byunghun’s sturdy back. Terror immediately gushed into the younger’s frail eyes as he could still see it writhing so subtly, so discreetly as it slowly died down. Blood covered the thick layer of feathers and veins were clearly hanging off the fleshy jagged scapular.

The sulphuric air started to clog his throat as changhyun’s mind shakes, the gewy, liquid crimson on his hands made the world turn red as it slowly made him breathless.

“unh..h..hyun..hyung…ugh…no…no….this…couldn’t..bbe..ha..ppening”

A clear puddle of tears between his quivering knees colored the bloody floor with a spine-chilling pattern as changhyun desperately looked around, he needed help. Anyone. But there was nothing except those gory, cold corpse scattered around his only beating heart.

 Then, as he choked on the mere autumn breeze, a dark figure crept between the corners of his silent crying eyes. Wet, clear blood dripping off its long, pale fingers as the raindrops seemed insufficient in washing the crimson’s off- a pair of blazing golden eyes was staring right into ricky’s skin.

That figure was someone he knew and it was blood-bathed perfectly to the core as his white taciturn skin sent waves of Goosebumps down the younger’s spine, jolting it again and again with more fear. It was death itself walking step by step, closer with its wing soared opened, grazing the cold air as its feathers fluttered in this unearthly radiance.

“chunji….”

≈♦≈

 He grunted as the throbbing pain crawled straight out of his skin. The blurry turqoise vision of the bright neon lit room made the ground swirl in motions as jonghyun tried to sit up. Snapping his eyelids shut a few times, the walls finally became static and his sight went back to normal when suddenly he felt this cold skin on his bandaged arm.

"Chang hyun.....Your hands..uhnn. ."

The taller boy gasped in pain as he caressed changhyun fluffy hair with his left hand that was uninjured. Still, his face spelled concerns and his heart slowly paced faster at the sight of how motionless ricky was on his arm.

"Ricky are you alright? Mmmhh... wake up"

But then changhyun’s trembling fingers that faintly held his warm hands immediately sent a wave of relief despite the stinging cuts all over his skin. He breathed out the relief as he laid back; smiling subtly waiting for the boy he liked to lift up his face.

“How’s your back? “

Changhyun spoke as he lifts his head up, eyes hollowed and lips worn, dry from the continuous abuse. He tried to fake a smile, but failed the moment their eyes locked. As his brows slightly furrows and the discrete lump in his throat grows, he bit the red fleshy pout once again, fighting the heart broke from overflowing. But indeed, jonghyun had incinerated all the protective walls he had inside….

“YOU DUMB RASCAL! HOW COULD YOU SMILE?!!”

“Unh… you fractured two bloody ribs and how…. How could you look at me like that”

Ricky was furious, what was Changjo thinking anyway? What type of sentiments was the boy holding onto, that he could look into ricky’s two eyes without an ounce offense. Because deep down within the boiling anger, his mind kept reminding him that this cage, these tortures were something only he could withstand. Ricky grew up that way, mentally enforced and even with minimal strength he was a type of human those angels developed to survive.

“Because I’m glad, you’re okay…. Ugh. Ha…. So I broke my ribs huh”

“Well, I broke them before, so they don’t hurt like the first time, back then, I think I broke three of them… I'm pretty much alright”

Shakily the tall lad exhaled as he leaned back, still amusedly watching changhyun who used to be so in control slowly breaking down. His left hand was glued on the left side of his lower chest; his fractured bones were relentlessly abusing his nerves despite his remarks.

“Ha! Is that something you can be proud off choi jong hyun?!”

The black haired boy busted in giggles, gasping the moment after as his ribs felt like they were falling apart the moment it rose. Immediately, changhyun held his shoulder, subtly trembling as the concern grew deeper with each passing second.

“You’re lucky…. Changjo… so damn lucky that he’d let you walk out of that mansion”

“Most of the times…. No one.. ever does”

“Damnit! Why! Just bloody why?! … Why would you trade this happy, normal human life”

“For me? After you worked so hard… trying to be just another mortal”

“Well, you’re ruining that effort okay…. With me… nothing is ordinary”

Nothing is safe. He whispered as his fingers slid along his wet cheeks, tears were casually coloring his face as he told changjo how lucky the boy really was.

Changjo’s wide eyes dampen at the sight, his heart was throbbing as each word changhyun uttered struck him like a group of lightning. The latter was agonizingly correct, all of his life, all that changjo ever did was to live and appear normal. It was his goal.

Rather, it was his mother’s ultimate goal. The blue eyed lad never knew why normality was such a significane, in fact, he would see his sister, grandmother and even his own mother who thirsted for ordinary life running around in their true form. Doing spells and magic like it was a reading habit.

He was hopelessly clueless; he didn’t know why he was so desperate to achieve such goals. But when changhyun summed all his efforts up, he realized that he wasn’t so human anyway.

Changjo realized, slowly, he was becoming his true nature.