RICKY. Slowly the memories crept dauntingly into his alcohol fogged mind. No, liquors have little effect on such prodigious being but sixteen consecutive bottles of strong alcohol does. Especially when chunji was so emotionally unbalanced, he needed relief.

Flashbacks came crawling into his head as each scene sent a massive wave of agonizing guilt throughout his lean body, hurting him in the most subtle ways.

His eyes glisten by each thing he remembered, practically crawling to byunghun, the tears the pain came back like a tsunami, running him over relentlessly. Choking silently on his own sobs the young man sat beside the coffin-esque bed, curbing his storms of torture.

He remembered now, how he pushed ricky away countless of time unintentionally shoving the child deep into the walls as he stumbled his way to the vault. Resentment, loneliness that covered his judgments was manipulated into thinking that essentially the reason of all his sufferings was byunghun. It was clearly ljoe’s fault. While ricky who knew better had put out his life on this very thin fragile line, to save the person who owned chanhee’s salvation.

“eodiya… y…. Hyung.. is so..so… sorry”

Ricky trembled as he gambled every ounce of his resilience on a fractured grin on each word he uttered, starting from how he came back to a drunk angel and in ending up suicidal by the streets. The last thing he wanted was to show jonghyun how worthless he felt; at least that was the plan.

“but the reason im so beaten up was, actually….”

“when you found me…… I’ve… already crossed the road. I got ran over by a bike and…”

“well, I survived”

It was killing him that there was this one incredibly stubborn teardrop that decided to fall down his cheeks and validated the fact that he was so broken at that moment even when he tried so hard to act normally.

“you’re smiling changhyun…… how? When I just feel all this torture in you, HOW?!”

Jonghyun snapped as his eyes eventually shed some too, just overwhelmed with how the boy was holding on. All these red in ricky’s life made jonghyun falter, the urge to just take him away and just repair all those fractures was too painful for him to endure anymore. He couldn’t control this wave of emotions and concerns anymore, he couldn’t look away anymore. Changhyun practically scarred himself in jonghyun’s sight.

The boy forgot how injured ricky were, all that was running through his head was to hold changhyun inside his arm, to have him way closer so somehow he could at least pretend that he could console him.

“don’t dare smile when you’re hurting inside changhyun. At least not to me”

“because ricky, I won’t ask you to be fine. Its alright if you’re broken…. I’ll fix you…. “

“are you sure changjo… you could die…. You definitely could die..”

“this distance…. Is already so dangerous. Why would you even come closer you fool..”

The boy panted within changjo’s arm, swallowing the obvious pain on his skin and deep inside his chest. The pain rain down and subsided so fast, the tingles on changjo’s skin felt so obvious. Is this love.

The love changhyun knew were only chunji and byunghun together and when ljoe was gone, that love had gone foul, it hurt to be in a wave of emotions trapped inside one’s heart. But when ricky was in jonghyun’s arm the stinging bruises and scratches halted, the headache faded and everything was clear. So flawless, so distinct like the world was in another light, the boy could see better in his arms.

“but if i don’t… changhyun-ya…. You could be dead. I can’t do it anymore”

“I can’t go home when I know you’re hurting, I can’t look away when I see your pain so bright”

“I’ve lost all control now ricky….. i’m not strong enough to keep a distance anymore.”

“so is this a confession?”

Yes…yes…yes…. the words spilled out endlessly as jonghyun held him closer. He never knew that it was this strong, that it could overwhelm him this bad but the moment he saw changhyun in that state….. Like a spark of a firestorm, his heart was burning uncontrollably. This feeling that he tried to brush away flooded him so deep, each little cuts on ricky’s skin felt like a fatal jolt to his heart.

Days passed, they were still in that place- a decent apartment-esque basement far from the center of the city. A place gifted by jonghyun’s late father for him use whenever the whole half-blood bothered him past endurance.

Each dawn, changhyun would wake up to jonghyun’s subtle snore and puffy face that calmed his tingling worries. Their hands entwined and breath colliding as the boy moved closer to the taller lad. It was as if, no matter how close they were, ricky felt like the distance was significantly huge.

They hadn’t done anything yet, not even a kiss however each time ricky laid hands on jonghyun it felt so right that it was as if he was meant to touch him. So the petite boys just couldn’t take his hand off, sometimes it would caress changjo’s hair, other times it would cup the boy’s cute squishy cheeks. There were even times where he made the taller lad flinch, probably surprise at the sudden skinship.

“you should go home now changhyun…..”

Jonghyun sighed as he played with ricky’s small thin fingers, tracing it’s outlines and caressing the edges.

“yeah … I probably should… it’s been a while since I crashed here. Huh… chunji is going to kill me”

The boy grumbled as he gently pulls his hand away, looking outside admiring how effortlessly the rain fell. The rain that felt like a cage, he didn’t want to leave and each step he made felt heavy.

Noticing the hesitation in ricky’s steps jonghyun pulled the smaller boy into a warm backhug, as he rest his chin on changhyun’s shoulder.

“I’ll walk you back okay….”

“no! don’t, I can’t risk you meeting chunji after you kidnapped me for days”

“haha don’t worry…. Im strong right? You said it yourself before”

Their eyes peered into the mansion, holding their breath at each step closer towards the door. Knuckles clamped together, redness colored their hands as the two boys walked inside, bracing their trembling guts and stiffening their nerves.

Chunji was nowhere to be seen and that brought a wave relief for the two boys. Still changhyun’s heart was in sprint mode, he was afraid beyond belief by the fact that jonghyun was in that damned house, that cage he tried to escape. He didn’t mind being trapped, he was used to it but not jonghyun.

This perfectly normal half-blood was more human than ricky ever was, in a sense of freedom and life. He couldn’t risk that.

“please leave now… jebal changjo ya. I’m scared to death right now so please…”

“no. I’m staying, just hurry up and get ready. We’ll leave before he comes back”

“b…but”

Unable to finish his sentence, the warm moist sensation on his lips made ricky’s stomach curl deep and even made his lungs stutter. He was breathing in the scent of changjo’s skin on his own, as his so called intelligent mind crashed. Then feeling those warm lips peel off his own pout, it was as if his throat had frozen, and slowly the ground was twirling.

“go. wear uniform. out”

“before I your lips again”

Like a tamed puppy, the petite boy silently sprinted up the stairs while still trying to comprehend what has happened. The reds on his knuckles moved up to his cheeks in seconds as his ears burned.

his lips rather discreetly, the taller boy ignored his veracious thumping chest as he smiled shyly. He wasn’t that type and honestly attacking people was something far beyond his courage but somehow when he saw that worry-ful frown on ricky’s face, it was as if he became someone else. Because when it comes to changhyun, self-control was nonexistent.

“you dirty little creature. You’re barely human but you dare touch my ricky…..”

“what a gutsy little mortal….”

Standing behind the door, the angel hissed rather clearly. That whisper crawled successfully into jonghyun’s spine shaking him from inside out. Clenching his jaw desperately trying to hide the trembles in his guts, he bit his lips and braced chunji’s deathly scowl with a straight face.

“please… let us just go to school peacefully…. “

“aha! Peaceful? Oh gosh you’re mistaken here young mortal… I might be an angel..”

“but peace is way behind me now. Its… boring”

Before he knew it, jonghyun was already in the air, inches off the floor as chunji held him like a lightweight feather. He tried wrestling his way down but indeed the force on his neck was impeccable. And finally even the air was beyond his retaliation as his mind fogged with pain.

Those blazing golden eyes shoot through his own blue eyes, crystal clear somewhat was reminding him of what death is and threatening him to fall back. The sanguine smirk on chunji’s exquisite face was beyond comprehension as fear immediately clouded his sight.

“n..no…. i…im not…sca…ugh… scared…ugk….of you..”

“a..ahk….and….cha..changhyun….i’ll …ehk…protect…him…”

“from…you”

Hearing those daring words coming from the lips of a dying boy within his own strong hands, it stabbed his angelic chest deep enough for him to realize that killing this boy would only stain his already dirty hands. Hurling the young half-blood into the aged walls, breaking a few wooden planks the angel vanished into thin air. Deeper than the phantom, chunji was gone. Leaving traces of blue and red on changjo’s skin as his message.

“what happened!”

“JONGHYUN YA!”

“im.. fine…. Lets go ricky-ya. We’re late”

A smile was on his face, a trembled one but well maintained, jonghyun managed to convince changhyun that he was alright. He knows now, why ricky had to smile.

It was to hide how injured he was…… and despite the throbbing pain on his torn back, the cracks of jonghyun’s heart was even more painfully distinct.

His heart broke to know how changhyun lived. 

hehe no picture again for this one T^T i need bigger internet quota seriously ~~~~ 

but enjoy. btw im going back to college, will definetly try to update but it may be a lil slow huhu. my last exam flopped so need to focus hahahahahaahhaahhahahahhaahhahahha *cries*