The Middle of December

"Mom! I can't!" Baekhyun gripped the straps of his knapsack tightly, pale fingertips poking through bright blue fingerless gloves.

 

"Why not, honey?" Mrs. Byun asked, distractedly bustling from kitchen to family room and back, in a scatterbrained gathering of her personal effects. The grey light of morn filtered sparsely through the curtains, casting the small kitchen in sleepy gloom. "Mrs. Park already said it's just fine," she continued as she fished her keys out of her purse.

 

"But-- why can't I just stay home? I'm old enough!" Baekhyun protested with growing terror. His mother had her shoes on and was buttoning her coat. "I'm responsible!"

 

The flurry of her movements came to a gentle halt as she cupped his face in her hands and smoothed delicate fingers across his cheeks. "Baek, you know I don't like leaving you alone here." Her voice wavered. As she caught sight of the clock, her hands pulled away. "Oh dear, I'm going to be late." Grabbing her purse and gloves, she ushered Baekhyun to the door. He dragged his feet with every step, as a sick feeling coiled ominously in his stomach.

 

"Mom - I'm sick! I can't go to the Parks'!" He tried in vain as she bundled them both into the car and carefully reversed out of the driveway.

 

"You'll be fine love," she said, turning to her son in the passenger seat as she gave his hair an affectionate ruffle. "It's just for a few hours. I'm sure they'll close the office early because of the weather."

 

"They shouldn't even be open," Baekhyun muttered, hunched inside his oversized parka with downcast eyes. "If school's closed, work should be too."

 

"If I didn't work I wouldn't get paid," Mrs. Byun reminded him patiently as they crawled down the street and to the cul de sac around the bend. "And we can't have that." The tires growled as they compacted thick ice and snow beneath them, and skidded slightly despite Mrs. Byun's steady hand. Taking a slow turn, they drove to the end of the street where a tall, sprawling house stood perched like a beacon of domestic virtue, all white fences and glowing windows. Glittering caps of snow covered the roof and topped the shutters.

 

"Mom. I can't." Baekhyun tried again weakly, feeling queasy.

 

"You can, honey, and besides, you should make some more friends your age. I'm sure you and Chanyeol will find something in common. Come on, now." Pulling him close for a quick hug, she kissed his temple and gave him a slight push. "There, I see Mrs. Park at the door now. It's cold, don't keep her waiting."

 

Baekhyun opened the door with a sinking feeling in his gut and clammy palms. He was quite certain there was nothing in the whole wide world that he and Park Chanyeol had in common, besides a few bits of anatomy, that is, but he was decidedly not thinking about that. As he trudged to the door, he vaguely registered his mother calling after him, wishing him a good day before driving away.

 

"Good morning, Baekhyun! Come in, come in," Mrs. Park ushered him inside. "Shoes off here, and I'll take your coat. Chanyeol's around here somewhere..." she bubbled cheerfully. Baekhyun fished for words and managed a hushed 'thank you ma'am' when when she took his coat. He lingered by the door, under the chandelier in the foyer.

 

"Chanyeol!" She boomed in a loud, bright voice.

 

"What Mom!" A deep voice called back. Baekhyun shifted his weight from one foot to the other, curling his toes inside his socks as he held his knapsack by the loop at the top. A small puddle had formed where one of his snowboots had stood a moment prior, and the icy water dampened the heel of his sock. He took a step to the side.

 

"Come down! Baekhyun's here!" Mrs. Park hollered back, and Baekhyun silently prayed that he would dissolve into a puddle on the floor as well because there was no way he would live this day down.

 

A few moments later, muffled footsteps thundered down the stairs and Chanyeol skidded into the kitchen on socked feet. Baekhyun bit the inside of his cheek.

 

"You sound like a herd of buffalo," Mrs. Park chastised as she wiped her hands on her apron. "Unlike Baekhyun here who's actually capable of being quiet." She raised a brow at her son, who stole an apple from the bowl on the counter and turned towards Baekhyun.

 

"Wash that first, young man," she said.

 

"Hey." Chanyeol finally turned his gaze toward Baekhyun, giving him a perfunctory once-over.

 

"Uh. Hi. Sorry about this." Baekhyun quickly stammered out a soft apology, and tried to look anywhere but at Chanyeol's face.

 

"Hush child. Your mum's a working woman and she's got every right to want you looked after. I wouldn't leave this troublemaker alone at home either!"

 

"Mom." Chanyeol protested through clenched teeth, glowering.

 

"Chanyeol." She shot back in a level tone. "Anyway, run along and enjoy yourselves. Don't forget to bundle up if you go outside." And so they were dismissed.

 

Chanyeol muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'I'm not five, jeez.' Baekhyun pressed his lips tightly closed to keep from laughing. He wasn't sure what would happen if he opened his mouth anyway. He accidentally ended up holding his breath, and coughed lightly when his body reminded him he needed air. Chanyeol looked at him oddly. Baekhyun swallowed.

 

Ever since Baekhyun could recall, Chanyeol had been the most popular kid in school. They had both grown up on these very streets, and went to the same elementary school. However the similarities ended there. Chanyeol was tall, loud, bold, smart, funny, handsome, and popular with girls -- everything that Baekhyun wasn't. Baekhyun spent his afternoons working at a daycare center save for the one day a week when he had a piano lesson after school, while Chanyeol was in sports and debate club. He shouldn't have known that much about Chanyeol, but he maintained that Chanyeol was hard to ignore.

 

Baekhyun hadn't questioned why he had paid so much mind to his curly carrot-topped classmate in years past, but this year had been different. This year, he'd noticed all too well the extra inches Chanyeol seemed to have grown, the particular breadth of his shoulders, the straight, even set of his fingers and the brightness of his smile.

 

And that voice...

 

"Do I have something on my face?" Chanyeol asked, startling Baekhyun out of his reverie. Baekhyun blinked widely and caught his breath. "N-no. Sorry."

 

"You apologize a lot." Chanyeol said with a lift of one brow, and started off down the hall. Baekhyun stood rooted to the spot for a moment, til he remembered how to use his feet and followed uncertainly.

 

"Wanna play Mario Cart?" Chanyeol asked as they entered the rec room. There were a few cushions thrown on the floor, along with controllers wired to the console under a large television.

 

"Um. I've never played..." Baekhyun confessed lamely. His mother, nor his father for that matter, had ever approved of video games, and Baekhyun didn't have the money to buy them for himself. The daycare center was volunteer work, its payment was his mother's peace of mind that he wasn't home alone.

 

"Didn't ask you that," Chanyeol said plainly. He flopped down on his stomach before the television and tossed one of the controllers toward Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun decided it was best that he stop talking, and instead settled cross-legged where the remote had fallen, a bit off to one side. He pointedly avoided looking at Chanyeol's long lanky form stretched out across the floor. His stomach was still doing somersaults, he didn't need to make it worse.

 

Much to his personal relief, Baekhyun caught onto the mechanics of the game quickly and it was just as he was starting to relax and enjoy himself that Chanyeol suddenly announced that he was bored.

 

"Let's go outside." Standing up, he brushed himself off and glanced at Baekhyun.

 

Rattled, Baekhyun nodded dumbly. "Okay." He'd already been outside that morning, shoveling snow out of the driveway so that his mother could back the car out. It was freezing outside and the memory of wind biting at the tip of his nose and cheeks and numbing the tips of his fingers was fresh in his mind.

 

Chanyeol seemed to have no precise goal except to be outdoors, though once they were, he set off through the deep snow as if he had somewhere to be. He paused briefly, as if suddenly remembering that Baekhyun was with him, and turned around to face him.

 

"What's your deal? Don't you talk?"

 

Baekhyun felt the words like an icy snowball to the face, frigid and jarring. "I-- Of course... I do. Sometimes. But you..." he fumbled for the right words, "you don't... seem to want to talk...?" he finished lamely. It was the honest truth, and the moment it was out, he knew he shouldn't have said it.

 

Chanyeol snorted. "Yeah."

 

It was only then that Baekhyun realized he hadn't seen Chanyeol smile once since he'd arrived. In fact, he'd looked positively stormy the entire morning. It was as if he was a completely different person than Baekhyun had seen in school all these years. He logically deduced that his own presence was to blame.

 

"Is something wrong? I really am sorry for intruding... I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Baekhyun reassured, knowing he was running off at the mouth, but unsure how to stop.

 

"No." Chanyeol said abruptly, in a tone that brooked no argument.

 

"...Oh." All the breath left Baekhyun's lungs in a sudden rush, puffing out in a white cloud before him. "Okay."

 

Chanyeol his heel and continued walking in the direction he'd set off on. Baekhyun lifted one foot out of the snow to follow, then set it back down in its footprint. Chanyeol clearly didn't want him around. So he turned around and went back to the house. On the porch there was a wooden swing; he sat down to wait not knowing what else to do.

 

It seemed like hours had passed when Chanyeol finally returned, red cheeked and fiery eyed. His auburn hair stood up around his head like a halo of fire and bits of bramble stuck out of it as though he'd run through the underbrush. His pant legs were dark and wet from the ankles up to his knees.

 

Baekhyun stared at the approaching figure and was glad for the scarf over his face, for he was certain his mouth was hanging open behind it. The spell was broken when Chanyeol suddenly sneezed, followed by a cough.

 

Chanyeol evaded his gaze and pulled open the screen door to the kitchen. "Come on," he said gruffly.

 

Inside, Baekhyun stamped his feet on the doormat and stripped off his coat and boots and gloves, rubbing his hands together to bring feeling back into his fingertips. Chanyeol trailed puddles across the linoleum floor as he kicked his boots into the hall closet. From Baekhyun's vantage, he was upset, and it was his fault. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach.

 

"There you are boys." Mrs. Park bustled into the kitchen. "Look at you all red, it must be below freezing out there. Are you hungry?" The bubbly woman carried on. "Nonsense, you must be. Chanyeol!" She called out, and poked her head around the kitchen doorway into the hall. "Lunch in fifteen minutes."

 

Baekhyun heard Chanyeol grumble a concession. "Baekhyun darling!" Mrs. Park startled him. "There's no need to stand around, make yourself comfortable."

 

"Oh-- yes, Mrs. Park," Baekhyun said with a quick bob of his head. He pulled out the nearest chair and sat down, crossing and uncrossing his fingers for a few moments until he noticed his knapsack leaning against the wall. He rose and rummaged around inside and pulled out a book. Bound in soft black leather, it was a sketchbook given to him by his father on his last birthday. In the warm glow of the dining room, he selected a graphite pencil from his pen case and settled at the table to draw. He pulled the book open to his most recent sketch of a boy, not someone he knew, and decided on a whim to add bits of bramble to his hair. He quickly snapped the notebook shut as he heard loud footsteps approaching the dining table.

 

"Chanyeol, help me with this would you," Mrs. Park motioned to him with oven mitt-clad hands. Silently, Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol obliged, albeit begrudgingly. Cups and plates met placemats with a thunk each.

 

"Baekhyun, I hope you like grilled cheese and tomato soup," Mrs. Park sing-songed.

 

"Oh yes. Of course," Baekhyun reassured quickly.

 

Eating across from Park Chanyeol at his dining table was an undertaking that was as daunting as doing so in the school cafeteria, maybe even more so. In short, the latter would never happen in his lifetime, and the former took more gumption than he really possessed. Eating carefully, he avoided catching Chanyeol's dark, piercing gaze.

 

"Don't talk all at once," Mrs. Park quipped at one point, the heavy silence nearly palpable.

 

Baekhyun dared to glance up, and saw Chanyeol roll his eyes. When he finished eating, he hesitated, then picked up his dishes and walked over to the sink to rinse them off, just as he always did at home. When he returned from the kitchen, Chanyeol was gone, his dishes left on the table, lunch half eaten.

 

Perplexed, Baekhyun curled up in his chair with his sketchbook, holding it close as he worked on a fresh drawing. He was startled at how the time had passed when Mrs. Park came in to inform him that his mother had called and was on her way home.

 

"I told her not to worry about coming round, god knows they never plow our street. Chanyeol will walk you back."

 

Quietly packing his belongings away in his knapsack, Baekhyun looked up, startled. "I can walk back on my own," he said.

 

"Of course you can. But it'll do Chanyeol good to be a bit more of a people person. I do apologize that he's holed himself up and left you down here."

 

"But he is such a people person," Baekhyun blurted out before he could take it back.

 

Mrs. Park's eyebrows rose in evident doubt, as if to say 'Are we talking about the same Park Chanyeol?'

 

"At least at school," Baekhyun finished and promptly shut his mouth.

 

Mrs. Park smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around Baekhyun's shoulders. "You're such a polite, lovely boy. Chanyeol could stand to learn a thing or two from you. All he ever does is stay in his room when he's at home, or bang on his drumset in the basement."

 

"He plays the drums?" Baekhyun asked, suddenly feeling a residual flutter of wings in his stomach.

 

"Bangs, rather than plays. 'Heavy metal' whatever that means." Mrs. Park shrugged. "Though it does sound rather like an avalanche of pots and pans, so I suppose it makes sense."

 

Baekhyun felt his lips pull with a small smile - which then grew bigger - and then exploded into a melodious laugh.

 

Chanyeol walked in just then, fixing dark eyes on Baekhyun, who felt the laughter recede down his throat, taking the smile with it.

 

"You should smile more often, Baekhyun!" Mrs. Park admonished cheerfully. "Frowning takes more effort anyway. I keep telling Chanyeol that he'll have wrinkles by 25, just like his father, if he keeps up the scowling."

 

Chanyeol glared daggers across the room. Baekhyun noticed the tall boy curl his hands into fists at his sides.

 

"Be a dear and walk Baekhyun home will you?" Mrs. Park addressed Chanyeol with a tone that was light but clearly meant to be obeyed.

 

"I'm sure he can walk around the corner on his own."

 

"That's what I said--" Baekhyun piped up.

 

"Chanyeol! You'll do as I say. Baekhyun, give your mum my regards and tell her you're welcome here anytime."

 

Chanyeol shut his mouth and pulled his coat and boots out of the closet.

 

Nervewracked, Baekhyun grabbed his knapsack and murmured heartfelt thanks to Mrs. Park. Stepping into his boots, he zipped up his parka and pulled his hat over his head and gloves onto his hands.

 

The walk was brief but felt like a lifetime. Baekhyun could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he felt the waves of tension rolling off Chanyeol's person, broken only by a cough or two from the taller boy. It was hatred, pure and simple, and Baekhyun felt a prickling in his eyes that wasn't the icy wind's fault.

 

Suddenly, Chanyeol stopped. They hadn't even reached the corner.

 

"You're gay, aren't you." He said in an accusatory tone. Baekhyun's gasp was audible.

 

"No-- I--" Baekhyun swallowed, feeling his heartbeat accelerate and knees go weak. Was he? Was it that obvious? He wasn't even sure what that entailed, so how could Chanyeol be so sure?

 

"You so are. And then you make people around you gay, too." Chanyeol sneered with a sharp stare.

 

"I--" Baekhyun choked on his words and his heart stopped and plummeted to his feet. A single tear pressed from his eyes, burning a hot saline track down his cold cheek, followed by another, then another. He took a step back, then another, and broke into a run towards home.

 

***

 

Chanyeol stood still in the dim grey of dusk, watching as the dark blot of Baekhyun's figure disappeared from view. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he trudged back down the street towards the house. Instead of going inside, he walked around the perimeter into the back yard, and stalked off into the woods to the small clearing he'd visited early. The wind made his throat hurt and he coughed, but made no move to button his coat up the rest of the way.

 

The woods were dark but for the light of the moon, and there Chanyeol cleaned the snow from the stump in the middle of the clearing and sat down upon it, burying his face in his hands.

 

He hated his life. He hated his mother, he hated his father, he hated himself, he hated school, and most of all he hated Baekhyun. True, he'd never really noticed him much before, but he'd noticed others. There were a constant string of girlfriends on his arm because it was what he was supposed to do - and the best way to keep anyone from suspecting what he feared the most about himself. Park Chanyeol, big man on campus, a fairy? The crippling fear that gave him countless sleepless nights, fear of losing face, of losing his reputation, of losing his friends. Hell, even his parents.

 

It had been in the gym locker room after soccer practice one day that he had confirmed the terrible truth about himself. Instead of changing like a normal human being, unaffected by the of the males around him, he'd found his eyes inexplicably drawn to the smooth, supple curves of one of his teammates bodies - a skinny silver haired freshman named Sehun. It wasn't the first time he'd laid eyes on Sehun, nor on others, but it was the first time it had affected him so profoundly that he couldn't ignore it. He'd gathered his things and locked himself in a bathroom stall, faced with an undeniable heat in his body and a raging . Distraught, he thought of anything he could to will it away, but to no avail. Eventually, he wrapped a hand around himself and gave a few slow pulls along his length, feeling his body burn with shame and guilt at how good it felt. But he couldn't stop, instead he quickened his pace til he was biting into the knuckles of his other hand and coming hard, triggered by nothing less than the thought of Sehun's lean body beneath him.

 

Heart racing, breath shuddering, he cleaned up his mess and discarded the tissues, quickly dressing himself and shouldering his bag. He exited the stall and was thankful for the silence and solitude of the locker room as he felt certain anyone watching would be able to see right through him.

 

It was then that he heard the noise. A soft thud, like that of a knee hitting the metal of the lockers, was followed by a gasp. And then a chuckle.

 

Intrigued, Chanyeol edged silently toward the source of the sound. Peering around a corner, he just managed to stifle a sound of surprise from revealing his presence.

 

There, pressed up against a bank of lockers in all their glory, were his teammates Sehun and Luhan, wrapped in an intimate embrace. Sehun was a freshman, but Luhan was a senior - and clearly knew his way around a body. He had Sehun's legs wrapped around his waist and had the freshman's back pressed to the lockers. Conjoined at the lips, soft sounds of suction and hums of pleasure echoed loudly through the locker rooms, or perhaps just in Chanyeol's head.

 

In shock, he looked away. Sehun was gay. Sehun was gay. Suddenly it all made sense. It was all Sehun's fault. The reaction he'd had to him earlier on was due to the fact that Sehun was gay. With no one to consult otherwise, he became resolute in his convictions and carried them forth with a burning torch of self-hatred since.

 

Then came Baekhyun.

 

In the most awkward circumstances ever - embarrassed repeatedly by his mother, and incapable of making head or tail of his visitor - Chanyeol had simply defaulted to being himself, or a rather irascible version of himself. He couldn't help that his mother grated on his nerves, but he could help it if Baekhyun made him feel strange, unwarranted things. He found himself losing to Baekhyun at Mario Cart - a game the shorter boy had never even played before - all because he was so distracted by his slender hands on the controller. As Baekhyun grew more confident in his game, so his body language changed. At ease, he seemed to exude a warm glow in place of his timidity, a thought that struck Chanyeol as so preposterous that he had rashly turned off the game and suggested they go outside - where they wouldn't have to sit so close, and where it was cold.

 

From there, it only got worse. Baekhyun's earnest eyes and soft mouth drove him to distraction so he made a point not to look at him. While he'd wanted to come here - to his thinking post - he hadn't wanted Baekhyun with him. Just because his mother was doing Mrs. Byun a favor didn't mean he owed her anything. He had stalked off into the woods - only to find himself surprised and traitorously disappointed that Baekhyun hadn't followed him.

 

It was just as well. He'd spent some time wandering through the brush, stalking about aimlessly. He'd tripped over a concealed root and ended up knees-first in the snow, and angry at the world. When the cold had seeped into his bones and he knew he'd caught a chill, he wandered back to the house only to find that pitiful creature sitting on the back porch, waiting for him.

 

Perhaps he wasn't waiting though, maybe he was just stupid enough to have not gone inside where it was warm. Chanyeol felt more comfortable with the latter and so that was what he chose to believe.

 

Baekhyun left him alone the rest of the day - which suited Chanyeol well, because it meant he could lie facedown in bed uninterrupted for as long as he pleased. He would not have to suffer the distraction that was Byun Baekhyun, and he didn't have to deal with his obnoxious mother.

 

His mother was mostly to blame for what had happened. he reasoned. Once again, she'd made a complete fool of him in front of someone else. She always thought she knew what was best for everyone - yet somehow it always involved putting him down. His father was no better, but at least he wasn't around enough to matter. When they ate dinner together, if he was home in time, Chanyeol was mute and well behaved enough to escape questioning or punishment. When asked about school, he had all the right answers. He knew keeping them sedate with cookie cutter responses was all he had to do to escape suspicion.

 

Given the day he'd suffered through and the final push from his mother, it was all he could do not to snap at Baekhyun. The tension between them was palpable - and he was afraid. He was afraid of wanting, of what he wanted, of judgment, and of rejection.

 

And then he'd made Baekhyun cry.

 

Chanyeol had always considered himself a relatively heartless person, but in that moment he was disabused of this notion. He had a heart, in fact, one that had cracked down the center at the first tear that spilled from Baekhyun's eyes. He had never known that his words could wield such power - or that someone else's tears could either.

 

With a heavy, conflicted heart, he rose from the tree stump and trudged back towards home. He dismissed his mother's frantic questions about his whereabouts, and took the jaw-unhinging slap from his father for his show of callous disobedience to his mother. He rather felt like he deserved it, though not for the reason it came.

 

***

 

Baekhyun was absent from school for 3 days. Chanyeol had never really put name to face before that snow day, he only knew him by face from watching him from the back of homeroom. Byun Baekhyun sat near the front of the classroom because his name came early in the alphabet. Byun Baekhyun had a slender pale neck that held Chanyeol's gaze in particular when he wore teeshirts with a loose neck, because the back of it sagged and showed off the top few notches of his spine.

 

Byun Baekhyun was also a kid from the neighborhood. The two had never merged into one - til now.

 

"Chanyeol dear," his mother sat him down at the table to talk one day after school. "I'm a little concerned. Did something happen between you and Baekhyun?"

 

Chanyeol set his jaw and stared at the opposite wall. "What's that supposed to mean?" he challenged tersely.

 

"Well... Mrs. Byun called. Baekhyun's been sick ever since the snow day."

 

"What's that got to do with me?" he replied sharply. "He was out in the snow, maybe he caught the flu."

 

"Chanyeol..." He hated the way she said his name, as though she was disappointed by him in every possibly way. "Is there something you want to talk about? Something you need to tell me? You weren't alright that evening, either."

 

"I don't understand what some sissy kid's flu has to do with me!" Chanyeol exploded and stood up suddenly, sending his chair flying. He his heel and stormed up the stairs, and didn't come downstairs until his father dragged him by the ear to dinner.

 

The next day in homeroom, Baekhyun's seat was still empty. Worrying the inside of his lower lip, Chanyeol pushed away the thought that he had anything to do with Baekhyun's absence. When the bell rang, he slammed his notebook atop his textbooks and picked up the stack and headed to class.

 

After school, he headed to Baekhyun's house. He saw his mother's car in the driveway and his heart sank - though he wasn't entirely sure why. Turning on his heel, he dragged his feet back to his own house - only to see Baekhyun's mother drive past him a moment later. Pausing, he glanced back.

 

That meant Baekhyun might be home alone.

 

He wavered in a moment of indecision, before turning and jogging back towards Baekhyun's house. When he got there, he stood before the door for a long moment before pressing the doorbell.

 

There was no answer.

 

Chanyeol waited a few minutes then pressed the doorbell again. Then once more, for good measure.

 

He had given up and was two steps down from the front door when he heard the screen door shift. Looking back, he ran back up the stairs and pounded on the door.

 

"Baekhyun!" he called. "I know you're in there!"

 

***

 

Chanyeol was one hundred percent absolutely positively frightening. Baekhyun had fallen ill, it was true - though it hadn't been due to the cold. When he'd returned home that night, his stomach had rejected all food - his mother couldn't deny that he was sick, though he wasn't running a fever. However, after not eating properly for two days, he caught a fever as well, and came down with a legitimate illness. He felt guilty that it was keeping his mother at home, using up all her precious, hard-earned time off. But he couldn't go to school. The very thought was so debilitating, it had him losing the contents of his stomach all over again. He urged his mother to go to work, that he would be fine at home, but she staunchly refused to leave him at home alone - especially when sick.

 

However, she eventually had to leave to pick up some groceries from the store. Baekhyun had been sitting up in bed sketching when she came in to ask if he would be alright staying by himself for an hour while she went out to get some food. He reassured her with a gentle smile and a roll of his eyes. She cautioned him against opening the door to anyone, as she always did, and left.

 

Then the doorbell rang. And rang again. And again. Heart racing, Baekhyun worried at first that it was his father. That was why his mother was so particular about leaving him at home alone, after all - he wasn't stupid. He had overheard enough arguments before the divorce to know exactly what terms they had parted on. He knew his father wanted to see him, but he also knew his mother was cautioning him against it for a reason.

 

The ringing of the doorbell chilled him to the bone. His mother had just left - then began the insistent ringing. There had to be a connection, and he shivered to think someone was watching the house - and him. Ducking down in bed so that his silhouette wasn't visible from outside, he snuck out of his room and darted down the stairs. Picking up an envelope opener from the table by the door, he peered through the peephole.

 

It was Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun could only think he'd come to rub salt in the wound - or perhaps, a small rational part of his mind thought, he'd been tasked with delivering the schoolwork he'd missed. Still, he did not open the door. However, sitting crouched in the living room, he heard the house settling and creaking and a sudden chill raced down his spine. If someone creepy was watching him, he would be better off with someone around - even if that person was Chanyeol, right? Chanyeol himself was a mean, hateful, horrible person, but he wasn't a serial killer - and he wasn't his father.

 

It was the most backwards logic Baekhyun had ever elected to use, but it roused him from his crouch and moved his feet towards the door, where he turned the doorknob - envelope slitter still clutched in hand.

 

The doorstep was empty. But then it wasn't, and Baekhyun yelped and brought his arms up as Chanyeol bounded back into view and yanked the screen door handle.

 

"Byun Baekhyun." Chanyeol said, looking murderous. Baekhyun looked at him, terrified, wondering if he'd just made the worst mistake of his life.

 

But then Chanyeol closed the screen door behind him and the front door after that. He stood on the doormat in the living room and stared heavily at Baekhyun, making him feel all of two inches tall.

 

"Chanyeol..." Baekhyun nearly whispered, unable to keep the tremor from his voice. "What are you doing here?"

 

"...Why are you holding a knife?" Chanyeol asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"It's... an envelope opener." Baekhyun moved his hands behind his back. "Um. Why are you here?"

 

"You need to go back to school so I stop getting about it."

 

"You're getting about it? I'm sick..."

 

"Yeah, that's what I said too, but no one listens."

 

"Oh. Well I am sick. Actually you should be careful, I'm probably contagious."

 

"It's not like I'm going to kiss you or something," Chanyeol retorted sarcastically. "Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "Here's your homework." He pulled a sheaf of papers out of his bag and dumped it on the table by the entryway.

 

"Why are you getting about me being out..." Baekhyun asked again, tentatively.

 

"Don't act so ing clueless. Your mom called my mom, you know, now she thinks something happened." He sneered. "Well, nothing happened. So stop spreading lies."

 

"I didn't say anything!" Baekhyun defended. "I swear... I didn't." His voice wavered. "Do you really think I want people to know... something that I don't even know?"

 

Chanyeol glared, then rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Why should I trust you?"

 

"You don't have to. But it's the truth." Baekhyun said.

 

"Whatever."

 

***

 

When the fever passed, Baekhyun's first trip out of the house was to venture to the Parks'. In his hands, he clutched a collector's edition album from Dream Theater. Stuck to it was a small envelope that simply read Chanyeol. Gingerly trekking around patches of ice, he made his way to the door. It was late evening, past dinner but not so late that the neighborhood was asleep. It was just dark enough to hide him from sight, and so, he deposited the small package on the doorstep, rang the doorbell, and then ran for cover before anyone came to the door. He heard the creak of the door, and then Mr. Park's voice calling out. Hello? Anyone out there? Eventually, Baekhyun heard him close the door and go inside. He waited a short while before coming out of hiding to check that the CD was gone.

 

The doorstep was bare, so Baekhyun made his way home.

 

***

 

Two words. One CD. Chanyeol stared at the disc in one hand and the small, plain notecard in the other.

 

I'm sorry.

 

As much as Chanyeol had tried to push thoughts of Byun Baekhyun permanently from his mind, they had stuck like glue, and the very first person to come to mind as he held the card and CD was none other than his hapless neighbor.

 

Chanyeol's heart beat a little faster as he put the CD into his sound system and pressed play.

 

How could Baekhyun have possibly known his favorite band? Nobody knew Chanyeol's musical preferences, except his family, but they didn't pay enough attention - besides, that wouldn't explain how Baekhyun knew.

 

But he knew it was Baekhyun. And he suspected that he knew much the same way he knew that Chanyeol hadn't wanted to talk, and knew that he had wanted to be alone. Baekhyun knew too much - and that was why Chanyeol could have nothing to do with him.

 

He lay awake in bed for a long time, listening to each song in turn, til he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

 

The first thing Chanyeol noticed the next day was that Baekhyun was back in school, a little peaky and drawn, but functioning. Chanyeol bored holes into the back of his head in homeroom, willing him to turn around and look at him, but he never did.

 

In fact, it was as if Chanyeol was completely invisible to Baekhyun. While before, they had simply been strangers, now it was as though Chanyeol wasn't there at all. Baekhyun never caught his eye or passed his way, not even accidentally - to the extent that when Chanyeol was speaking in class, Baekhyun was looking out a window or staring at his notebook.

 

His evasion made Chanyeol itch with frustration, and so, at lunch hour, he made his move.

 

Baekhyun usually sat by himself or with a small group, reading or drawing while he ate his lunch. He visited his locker right before heading to the cafeteria, to deposit his books from the first half of the day and collect those he needed for the second half. He then ended up at the back of the lunchline and was one of the last to start eating, but was also able to stay til the end of the lunch hour because he already had his things.

 

Chanyeol had seen him at his locker before lunch on more than one occasion, so he bolted from his last morning class to the lockers, and took his own sweet time swapping his books out. He told his friends to go on ahead, claiming he had something to take care of down at the main office.

 

Baekhyun appeared as expected, just as the crowds had emptied into the cafeteria. Chanyeol watched from the corner of his eye, but then had enough of the intrigue and slammed his locker shut.

 

"Byun." He approached and leaned against the locker next to Baekhyun's. "You're sorry?" he mocked.

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Baekhyun said evenly, though his fingers trembled and he rearranged the books in his arms a few times.

 

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