“So what have you been doing these days?”

Jongin just shrugged and tossed another stone from the beach, smiling as it skipped across the water. Jongdae picked up a stone from by Jongin’s feet and hurled it out into the water, only to cringe as it sank right under with a plop. It was the first time since witnessing the little discussion on the surgery porch that Jongin had seen Jongdae, the elder spending most of his time with Yixing while Jongin hung around outside with the street children. The children had quickly accepted Jongin into their group and he often told them stories of his own childhood, taught them games or had them lead him around areas of the town he hadn’t realised existed. They knew the best spots to lounge in the sun, hide from the rain and dig in the sand.

It really was like coming home.

“Playing with the kids that live around here. They’re cute.” Jongin threw another stone, satisfied that it skipped further than the first one. Another plop as Jongdae’s sank under the waves, sending out splashes of water that glittered in the sunshine.

“Didn’t have you down as a family man – figured you’d be out with Sehun doing what kids your age are supposed to do, working your charms on the pretty men and women.” Jongin could hear Jongdae’s smirk from his voice alone and laughed, accidentally sinking his next stone. Sehun had a surprising amount of admirers and lovers on the Opal Coast alone, not including his stolen kisses and affection from Joonmyun that frankly freaked out the entire rest of the crew. (He’s like our dad!! Luhan would often complain. Let a man enjoy life’s pleasures when they’re offered to him was Joonmyun’s usual response, falling on deaf ears as Luhan would cover his ears and sing la la la la la!!) “Can’t imagine their parents being happy that they’re hanging around a pirate.”

“The ones without parents. Makes me feel twelve again.” Jongdae returned Jongin’s smile, but it was sad. Jongdae had been present for Jongin’s little history sharing session back on the Siren, but if he had any thoughts on Jongin’s past he didn’t voice them. Unlike Luhan, who constantly badgered the younger boy for information about living on the streets and what did you do when it rained and how did you eat and did you ever get bitten by a wild animal (to which the answers were ‘hide’, ‘donations or stealing’ and ‘a fox once’.) “They think I’m a regular sailor. And to be honest, I don’t see myself as a family man, really. I’m just…like one of them, but taller and wearing shoes.”

Jongdae’s smile was more genuine then. “Gives you a way of avoiding the captain, I suppose. With Sehun out on the tiles and most of us in the surgery, Minseok and Luhan have probably been around the shopping streets six times now.” He chuckled, handing Jongin another stone after reconsidering another, likely failed, attempt at skipping it. “He’s kind of on edge.”

“Mm.” Jongin had certainly noticed, with Kyungsoo speaking very little and being his usual distant self after his oddly…open behaviour that first night.

“I guess he’s just nervous about finding new recruits. He’s never had to actively look for anyone before, you know? We all asked to join – aside from you, of course – and it was before he got his reputation…you’re the first new person on board in over two years, and to lose two of the original crew like this…now he’s got to find people able to fill the roles left behind. Replace Chanyeol and Baekhyun.”

And me was left unsaid, but the implication was there. Though it had never been discussed aloud nor had what Kyungsoo and Jongin witnessed that night been, to Jongin’s knowledge, mentioned to either Jongdae or Yixing, it was as though the entire crew knew what was happening anyway. Yixing could often be seen holding on to Jongdae far more publicly than usual, with more obvious displays of affection, gentle touches, signs of possessiveness.

It was clear that something had changed in Yixing, even for someone who never knew him until now. According to what Minseok and Luhan had told Jongin in hushed tones a few nights ago, Yixing and Jongdae had been doing this for years – loving and leaving, with Yixing tending to Jongdae’s (and everyone’s else’s, but Jongdae’s with extra tenderness) wounds and desperately wishing his lover wouldn’t leave him again for the dangers of the unknown ocean. But each time Jongdae would leave and Yixing would let him, waving the Siren off with a sadness in his eyes that broke Jongdae’s heart every time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and Yixing was likely reaching the end of his tether. Jongin couldn’t blame him.

He couldn’t imagine having to watch the love of his life slip away from him again and again, possibly to never return.

“He’s not very…” Jongin couldn’t find the word. Personable? Sociable? “Talkative.” That worked. “How do you think he’s going to find people that want to join us? Come aboard a ship for a really vague mission with a bunch of notorious pirates?”

“You never know. For some guy making his way through life here on the coast, this might be just the thing he needs.” Jongdae was done throwing stones now, and instead knelt on the sand, etching words into the ground with his skinny fingers. Jongin watched his hands move – he knew these words well; they were the words Jongdae often sang in wistful tones from the lookout at night, when he thought nobody was listening. A gentle, rolling love song clearly written for Yixing. He wondered if the doctor had been allowed to hear the song yet. “On the Siren, we’re all escaping from something, I think.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

Jongin hadn’t thought of it that way, and he nudged the older pirate with his foot, encouraging him to go on.

“Well, I joined to escape being stuck in the same place forever – not that I don’t like it here! I want to spend the rest of my life living here. But like…I wouldn’t want to grow old having never seen another place. Baekhyun was similar, you know. Making use of his freedom as the second son to go on an adventure. Sehun wanted to escape a boring life in his family’s business, in the middle of nowhere and miles from the sea, let alone excitement. Luhan escaped his marriage, Chanyeol escaped a drifting life with no direction, Minseok escaped a dull job, you…well, I don’t know about the Siren since you didn’t exactly choose to join us, but you left your old life behind for the ocean, didn’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“Right! And I don’t know about Captain Kyungsoo, but he’s probably running away from something too. Regrets, I think. Things in the past he can’t change, running ahead until he comes back around and catches them from behind.”

The two boys watched as the waves crept over the words of love and longing dug into the sand, pulling them out into the endless sea that claimed so many feelings for its own. Love, loss, fear.

Jongdae swirled his fingers in the shallow waters. “Do you think a man can run while standing still?”

-

It was a week or so after when it happened. Jongin had been sat on the edge of the main pier with grubby-faced little girl, copying her quietly as she taught him how to fish with the rods she made herself. They were having mixed success, hauling up a fair bit of rubbish as well as several actual, edible fish. They weren’t big fish, but the light in the girl’s eyes whenever they pulled one up proved they were more than enough. What Jongin would have given to be able to fish in his own youth, the port town he hailed from being far too busy and industrial to find anywhere to sit with a rod. The Opal Coast was often bustling, but had its quiet patches perfect for a pair of small children – no matter how big one appeared on the outside – to throw out their lines and hope for the best.

The sun continued to shine down on them brightly, warming their skin as quickly as it was cooled by the soft breeze whipping through their hair and wobbling their crude little fishing lines. The girl, probably somewhere around ten years old, squealed with joy as she and Jongin simultaneously reeled in two squirming, shimmering fish. They were quite fat for fish, a beautiful prospect for a meal later. The girl’s laughter warmed Jongin’s heart more than the sunshine on his tanned skin.

“Do you know how to prepare a fish?” She asked him as she put the fish into a small bucket sat between them. She had stolen that bucket early in the morning, from the man selling milk and cheese on a market stall by the theatre. Jongin had seen her steal it, and for that very reason had continued to engage the shopkeeper in conversation about his imported cheeses for far longer than he had actually cared to listen. Apparently she meant to return it later, but Jongin had always told himself the same thing as a child and quickly outgrew trying to justify himself.

“Of course I do! Just because I couldn’t catch them didn’t mean I never ate them.”

A smirk on the child’s face, visibly rosy-cheeked despite the dust and dirt. “You stole them.”

“You stole this bucket!”

“Yeah, but you still stole those fish.” She attached another worm, still wriggling and freshly dug up from the flowerpots outside the butchers’ before dawn, to the hook and threw it back into the water. “Most adults tell me stealing is bad. I shouldn’t do it. You’re different.”

Jongin shrugged. “Those people have never been without a choice.” He frowned over his shoulder at the bucket of fish, which despite the large rocks set in the bottom to prevent it from tipping still threatened to topple over as some of the fresher fish flopped about inside. The little girl leaned into him, twirling the fishing rod she held.

“I like you. I think I wanna marry you.”

Jongin almost dropped his fishing rod in shock, sputtering in an attempt to find words. The girl just giggled and went back to concentrating on her line, squinting as she attempted to make out fishy shapes under the water far below.

“You should aim higher. Marry a man with a house.”

“I just wanna marry a man with shoes.” She looked up at Jongin to speak to him properly, but paused before the words left . Jongin looked over to what had caught his companion’s eye and saw a stranger stood alarmingly close to the Calling Siren. He was tall and blonde.

Out of the crew, only Luhan was blonde. And he wasn’t that tall.

“That man is here a lot. He keeps staring at that ship, every day.” Curiouser and curiouser. Jongin set his line down on the pier beside him and stood up to get a better view of the stranger. “He helped me fix my fishing rod a while ago. Do you think he wants something?”

“I’m…” Jongin felt tense just looking at the stranger so close to his captain’s ship. “I’m going to talk to him. You alright by yourself?”

“Yeah. I can carry the fish back later. I’m strong.” She flashed a gappy smile, flexing a skinny arm. “You’ll come back later, won’t you? I’m gonna set up a fire on the beach when the sun sets and cook all this fish for everyone. You should have some. You caught some.”

“Thank you.” Jongin ruffled her hair before sprinting most of the way towards the docks, where the Siren was waiting on the waters. His pace slowed as he approached the tall stranger, stood so close to the Siren without actually reaching out and touching her. He didn’t want to surprise the man, who was a lot taller than he was. The man had a serious sort of face, but it was softened in wonder as he looked up at the ship.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” He turned to Jongin first, almost sending the boy falling off the harbour in surprise. He hadn’t realised the stranger knew he was there already. “Small, yet perfect. I wonder who she sails with.”

“She’s my captain’s.” Jongin couldn’t help but grin with pride when the stranger’s expression turned to shock. Narrowed eyes widened immediately, arms folded across a broad chest falling to the man’s sides as he opened his posture properly.

Come to think of it, he was built a fair bit like Chanyeol. Tall and strong looking, but with two legs intact.

“What’s her name? The ship, I mean. Not your captain.”

He was about to answer, when the telltale click-click-clicking of heeled boots could be heard behind him. Another smile. “Classified information. Who’s asking?”

The stranger answered Jongin just as Kyungsoo fell into place beside him, looking between Jongin and the man with visible interest. It took one look up and down for him to quickly note the similarity to Chanyeol’s height and build, and Jongin could practically see his eyes light up.

“The name’s Yifan. Came into this port on that gorgeous pile of driftwood over there that happens to belong to my uncle.” He gestured over his shoulder with a thumb, attached to ridiculously large hands. Useful hands for carrying things, with small nicks and cuts that bore striking similarities to those Chanyeol had from his maintenance duties. “You can call me a mixed bag – I do maintenance mostly, woodworking, fixing up holes. Cover the heavy lifting as well, like the old man could do it any better.”

He pushed his hair out of his face with those hands, hands that Kyungsoo clearly had plans to get onto the Siren as quickly as possible. “You look like you’ve seen more than your years. Explorers?”

“Pirates.” Kyungsoo said with such confidence that even Jongin was stunned into silence. There was a smirk plastered across the captain’s face that Jongin wasn’t used to at all, the look of a man carefully formulating a plan that was falling into place with every word out of his mouth.

Yifan quirked a brow. “Pirates? Can’t say I know much about those. What do you do?”

Kyungsoo only drew closer to the taller man, almost laughably small in comparison even in his boots but utterly dwarfing him in terms of sheer confidence, presence. “Tell me, Yifan, have you ever heard the name ‘Kyungsoo’ on your travels?”

Yifan’s eyes only widened, and he nodded.

“Then you know what I do. Walk with me, Yifan. I feel we have much to talk about.”

With a pat to Jongin’s shoulder which the younger almost dared think was gratitude, Kyungsoo led Yifan to a quieter part of the docks to discuss matters with him properly. Jongin could only watch them go, desperately curious as to what Kyungsoo was going to talk to the man about but also unwilling to break the mystery. Instead he sat on the wooden planks and looked up at the sky, or out over the ocean, waving over to the little girl who reeled in a fish with such gusto she ended up hitting herself in the face with it.

The pair returned later, Kyungsoo in strangely high spirits. Yifan, too, seemed smug.

New recruit number one seemed to be a success, from the way he casually answered all of Kyungsoo’s questions as the three of them sat on the pier.

“There may be times of hardship on board.”

“I’ve been without many times. My uncle isn’t the kindest man.”

“You barely know what we’re looking for.”

“Who really knows why we live?”

“There will be violence and danger.”

“What’s life without a little risk?”

“You may have to kill a man.”

“I’ve done it before.” Jongin could only stare at Yifan in shock, not responding when Yifan pushed the small bottle of what he assumed to be ale into his hands. Kyungsoo had quietly refused to partake, but Jongin eventually took a swig in the interests of breaking the ice. Kyungsoo’s eyes seemed to bore holes into their new companion, seeking more information without having to ask for it. It was quite impressive, really, how the small captain carried himself with the confidence of a much bigger man. Like a housecat posing as a lion. Except this housecat was able to singlehandedly fell a deer or lead a pride if it so wanted. “Raiders on one of my uncle’s cargo shipments. I didn’t aim to kill them, specifically, but when all you have is a pistol in close range…” he shrugged. “Accidents happen.”

Jongin passed the bottle back, wondering if he would be the only one aboard the Calling Siren who hadn’t killed somebody already.

Yifan didn’t need to be asked twice to join the Siren.

“But he doesn’t know anything about medicine.” Kyungsoo sighed over dinner that night. “We must keep searching.”

Jongin ate little. The satisfying warmth of fire-baked fish in his belly gave him little appetite for noodles and leaves.

-

Surprisingly enough, fortune struck just a few days later when the group were visiting Chanyeol, with Yifan in tow for the first time.

“I have somebody to introduce to you.” Yixing was grinning from ear to ear, wider than Jongin had ever seen him smile since coming to land. “He’s been studying under me for a while and is one of the best students I have. You still need someone to replace Baekhyun, don’t you?” And Jongdae went unsaid, though the whole room heard it anyway. Yixing dashed out of the room before returning gripping the shoulders of a tall boy in a white tunic. He looked almost as tired as Yixing did, with large bags under his eyes instead of that permanent sleepy, dreamy gaze, but his current expression was that of a deer caught in front of a carriage. “This is Zitao. Zitao, these are the friends I’ve been telling you about.”

“The pirates.” He breathed out quietly. The crew just nodded and waved as though the boy had simply called their names.

“That’s us.” Sehun only smirked.

“Zitao has been working as medic on a cargo ship between here and the Emerald Bay, but the crew aren’t treating him well at all. I thought perhaps, since Kyungsoo is so good to his men, he might prefer joining you instead. After all you are in need of a man with medical training…”

Zitao had protested desperately. He didn’t want to break the law, he didn’t want to go with pirates, he was afraid, he didn’t want to hurt anyone. For all his height and stature, he seemed far gentler than even Jongin. But the boy was quietened by Yixing’s pleading gaze on him, the doctor holding tightly to his lover’s hand.

Zitao murmured something about considering the offer.

“Kyungsoo is very good to his men, really. You can ask Jongin all about that!” Jongin choked, feeling his face heat up. Of course, that wasn’t what Minseok had meant by his words at all, but the captain seemed to share the sentiment as they both pointedly looked in opposite directions. From Joonmyun’s face, he didn’t miss it. “And as medic, you have to stay behind on our ship during engagements with other ships for your own protection. You’d only need to fight to defend yourself.”

“But I don’t-”

“Zitao is a martial artist!” Yixing clapped in excitement.

“But I’ve never fought a person! My art is a matter of self-discipline, not violence.”

“Then Yifan will teach you all you need to know in the art of violence.” Kyungsoo looked to Yifan with a quite serious expression. “You will both be new to the ship and could do with getting to know one another. Yifan, if Zitao accepts our offer, you will teach him, won’t you?”

“Absolutely.” Yifan held out a hand to Zitao in greeting, which the younger boy hesitantly took.

He confirmed, with a flush and what sounded like a squeak, that he would be definitely thinking about it.

 

It was after the pirates had spent a month, perhaps one and a half by now in the Opal Coast when, during a visit to Chanyeol in the surgery after dinner, Zitao appeared to accept their offer.

“Thank you.” Yixing hugged the boy tight, squeezing him like he was trying to pop him on purpose like the most fragile of balloons. Zitao, for all his delicacy, was not a balloon and didn’t pop, but certainly looked close to it when Yifan thumped him on the back in congratulations for being brave.

“We need to leave soon.” Kyungsoo stood beside Chanyeol’s bed, in the centre of the crowd. His hand rested on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Zitao needs a little time to be taught some basic combat by Yifan before we set out, lest he end up in danger during our next engagement, but we can’t afford to lose much more time on land. We may miss our only chance while hanging around here, and we just can’t do that.”

“But Chanyeol…”

Kyungsoo turned to Chanyeol and squeezed his shoulder, expression quickly turning sad. It was a real, genuine sadness that hurt Jongin to even see. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to leave you behind. You’ll be in Yixing and Baekhyun’s capable hands.”

“He’s doing very well. In another month or so, I may try and get the wooden leg on him.” Yixing, contrary to everyone else in the room, was smiling. “So depending on how quickly he takes to it, he might be back on the ocean in a matter of months.”

Since everyone was together in one place, Kyungsoo began a discussion of crew organisation – who was going to be where when they engaged other ships out on the ocean. Jongin just stood silently in the corner as this went on, idly toying with the new clothes he wore; clean cream tunic and soft, sapphire-coloured trousers that moved with him beautifully. Even he, the not-quite pirate, was starting to suffer from not really having his land legs and getting an itch to go out on the ocean. Or was it an itch for that freedom he felt? The freedom he had when fishing on the pier with the children from the street, or when they cooked together over a fire on the sands, or teaching them the dances he used to perform for small change and snacks. An itch to get away.

Zitao, as medic, would be kept on the ship while Luhan would retain his place as hidden navigator. If Luhan took the hold while Minseok, assisting Zitao, guarded the galley, Jongin would remain in the captain’s quarters.

Jongin counted on his fingers.

His heart dropped.

“No.” He said suddenly, interrupting the captain the middle of speaking. Everyone in the room turned to stare at him then.

“Jongin?”

“No. There are seven of us now, and you’re proposing four of us wait behind on board? That’s ridiculous! Are you aiming to get yourselves killed in the first engagement?” Jongin was raising his voice. He could hear it. Even if he hadn’t been able to hear it the wide eyes of the rest of the crew, especially Kyungsoo himself, made it quite clear that he was acting out of character. But he couldn’t stop himself. “Captain, you, Yifan and Sehun alone can’t possibly take over another ship. Not even if it were a ship of drunkards.”

Kyungsoo stood before Jongin, shoulders back and back straight on those low-heeled boots. He was in his captain mode now, his authority mode. Jongin had never once questioned him, let alone raised his voice in opposition.

“Then what do you propose we do? I considered having Minseok remain with us, but Zitao will require experienced company for his first engagements.”

Jongin took a deep breath.

“I want to go with you. In the invading party.”

“No.”

The whole crew was staring at them now, from Chanyeol in his bed to Zitao nervously gripping Yifan’s shoulders. Joonmyun and Yixing watched them too, expressions unreadable in complete alarm.

“And why not?”

“You’ve not done it before.”

“Then how would you propose I learn? I want to go with you, captain.”

“You can’t!”

“This is a pirate vessel, not a china cabinet! You can’t just hole something or someone away and expect that to be the last of it!”

“Jongin, it’s dangerous.” Kyungsoo hissed.

Jongin only scoffed. “Oh, you think I don’t know? When we’re all in a surgery with Chanyeol missing half a leg? You seem pretty willing to drop Yifan right into it, too.”

“He had experience-”

“I want to fight!”

A thick silence blanketed the room, Kyungsoo grabbing Jongin’s shoulders and gripping them tightly. His eyes held something Jongin recognised by now – desperation. Perhaps not fear, but definitely desperation. Desperation for Jongin to see his way, for order to be maintained. He searched the captain’s gaze for anger, but found none.

“I want to keep you safe, Jongin.” He squeezed Jongin’s shoulders tightly. Jongin shook him off, taking a step back and almost bumping into Luhan as he did so.

“Yeah, well. Perhaps I want to do the same for you!”

Kyungsoo’s hands dropped from Jongin’s shoulders, and the captain’s expression was a strange sort of…shock. The fire in his eyes was extinguished as quickly as it had burst into life, his mouth half open as though whatever counter-argument he had for Jongin had been taken straight off his tongue. His shoulders had dropped, the lion inside suddenly a housecat that Jongin had never seen.

There were no words for a long time.

“Well,” Jongdae began, somewhat uncertain as all eyes in the room moved to him, “Jongin did spend a good what, third of his life on the street. I’m sure he can take care of himself just fine.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened further, flicking back and forth between Jongdae and Jongin in confusion, alarm. Around the rest of the crew, there were nods of agreement. It seemed even those who hadn’t been present for dinner that night had eventually heard of Jongin’s own origins.

All but one.

“You…did know about that, didn’t you, Captain?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes went dark, as though crashing down with guilt. While he kept his posture firm as always, he barely met Jongin’s eye. Clearly, he hadn’t known. He had been the only one to not know.

Jongin swallowed hard.

In all his time preoccupied with how little he knew about the captain, he never stopped to realise that the captain knew absolutely nothing about him.

The pirates left the surgery in silence that night. Heavy, crushing almost as they made their way to Joonmyun’s home. They went through the motions of an ordinary evening, with the majority of the crew exchanging desperate looks as though bursting to share gossip with one another as soon as the group disbanded.

When they all left for their separate bedrooms, Jongin was barely given a chance to ponder hunting down a room of his own before Kyungsoo grabbed his wrist, pulling him into their shared room with a force Jongin remembered from the first day they met.

Kyungsoo pushed Jongin onto the bed by his shoulders before taking a seat beside him, pulling him close by a loose part of his shirt. Jongin waited for a firm, closed off touch of the lips before the emptiness of lights-out, but they never came.

“Jongin.” It was the first words Jongin had heard from the captain in a while, and that worried him.

“Captain.”

“Did you mean it? Back there?”

Jongin nodded slowly. “Every word.”

Kyungsoo sighed, silent for a while but never letting go of Jongin’s shirt.

“I…if you’re going to put yourself in danger for me, for my cause, I want you to know why.”

“Ca-”

“I’m going to tell you everything.”