The apartment is an impressive, spacious open planned penthouse. The moment we step inside, we are engulfed by a sea of Hwangs. Hugs and kisses are thrown around. Someone relieves me of the parcel in my arms. Another rogue Hwang pulls me in for a hug. I don’t understand what is happening. What is this?

“Stephanie you look great!”

“Wah little Tippani is married now!”

“Omo! Look at this! They brought beef!”

“Everyone, shall I do the introductions?” Mr Hwang steps forward. The rampant excitement is somewhat tempered with his presence. Although there is still a woman clinging on my arm, breathing quite heavily in my ear.

I have no idea who she is.

Mr Hwang indicates to a portly man with a neatly trimmed moustache who at the moment is curiously examining the beef sets. “This is my younger brother, Patrick, Tiffany’s uncle.”

I bow respectfully…or attempt to. It’s quite difficult with the human anchor attached to me.

“And this is Patrick’s wife, Maggie.” Mr Hwang points to the woman melded to my side. “She has, I gather, become quite the fan of your, Ms Kim.”

“I have clippings.” Maggie breathes into my ear.

“I’m sorry?” I say taken aback.

“I have clippings of you from newspapers, magazines, anywhere.” She says enthusiastically.

For a moment, I’m too poleaxed for words. However, I pull myself together and manage to murmur thanks.

I search for Tiffany and find her behind the crowd, doubled up in silent laughter. I’m glad one of us is enjoying this.

“This is Michelle, Tiffany’s older sister and her husband Jason.”

A pretty woman with long black hair and a pleasant looking man walk up to me and shake my hand.

“So you are the famous Kim Taeyeon! Welcome to the family!” Michelle says with a smile.

“My deepest sympathies.” Jason jokes with a hand to his chest, earning him a hit on the shoulder from his wife.

Mr Hwang tries to pry Maggie off me but she just latches on even tighter. My arm is going numb and my fingers are starting to tingle – not in a good way.

He gives up and instead turns his attention to a younger version of himself who is standing with a glass of wine in his hand.

“And this is Leo, Tiffany’s older brother. The lady next to him is his wife, Judy.”

Leo takes large strides up to me and shakes my hand with vigour.

“Hi Taeyeon! Nice to meet you!”

Judy saunters towards me in an expensive dress with pearls strung across her neck.

“Taeyeon,” She says in a honeyed voice. “Since we are now family, there are people I absolutely must introduce you to. You see, I lunch with the wives of some very important public figures who would lo –”

“Yes, thank you Judy.” Mr Hwang cuts in much to Judy’s annoyance. She gives a little huff and turns away.

There is some rustling, and an old woman, hunched over a cane pokes her way through.

“Henry! Is that Miyoung I hear?” She addresses Mr Hwang. “Don’t stand there like a lumpy prune. I want to see Miyoungie!” She waves the cane, quite precariously about.

“Halmeoni!” Tiffany exclaims happily, pushing through the crowd to swiftly envelop the old lady in a hug.

Mr Hwang gives a tiny defeated sigh. The old woman smiles lovingly at Tiffany and gently pats her cheek. Her expression then hardens as she hobbles up to me. Maggie, who I had begun to accept as my Siamese twin releases my arm in a flash and steps away.

“And this is Tiffany’s grandmother and my mother.” Mr Hwang explains. “Everyone has flown down from America for the reception. They will be staying here with us in the meantime.”

I bow respectfully. “Annyeonghaseyo halmeonim. I hope the journey was okay.”

Thwack!

“Omoni!”

“Halmeoni!!”

“Tae! Are you okay?”

I clutch at my throbbing shin. Ah! Must be genetics…twice in one day.

“Call me Madam Hwang. So you are this Kim Taeyeon who stole our family company!” She bristles. “And you’ve taken my Miyoung too?” She swipes her cane at my shin again but this time I sidestep it.

“Halmeoni, it’s okay. Taeyeon didn’t steal anything.” Tiffany attempts to diffuse the situation.

“Omoni, they are married.” Mr Hwang says exasperatedly. “And I’ve told you countless times, we had to sell the company.”

 “Hmmph!” Madam Hwang sputters. “You know I suffer from selective hearing!”

Judy snorts in disbelief. Everyone else is awkwardly standing in place, unsure of what to do.

I’m watching you, Kim Taeyeon.” She waves a bony finger at me. “My granddaughter better not get hurt!” She warns, treating me like I’m a conniving, sadistic predator preying on her precious...wait…Miyoung?

I smile politely at Tiffany’s grandmother, whom I’m positively sure now has end-stage senile dementia.

I extend the smile to the rest of them and say, “It is really nice to meet all of you. I look forward to building our relationship.” I have definitely short-circuited back to my business mode.

Tiffany grabs my hand and rescues me away from her family.

She calls out from over her shoulder, “I will show her around the apartment.”

 

 

The apartment is beautiful and has a very homely feel. I notice the many picture frames with captured family moments. I pick one up and see a cute little girl eye smiling at the camera.

“Ah no! That’s embarrassing. Put that down.” Tiffany takes me to one of the bedrooms and sits me on the bed.  

She does a little spin, flares her arms out and says “Tadaa! My room. What do you think?”

The room has a lovely cream décor with mahogany. I see various trinkets arranged on her dresser. However, there is one jarring anomaly.

“Nice pillows.” I comment wryly. All the pillows are candy floss pink. All of them.

Tiffany grabs one and presses it fondly to her chest. “Pink is a lovely colour.”

I nod my head diplomatically. “I’m sure you think so.”

“Wait here.” She says as she pops into the attached bathroom. A second later, she appears with a fluorescent blue ice pack.

“Which leg did I kick?”

“My right.”

“Which leg did my grandmother hit?”

“My right.” I reply. My lips are twitching, trying to supress a smile.

Tiffany kneels in front of me and runs her hand lightly up my right leg, starting from my ankle. For a moment, I forget to breathe. I wince slightly when she touches a spot right below my knee.

“Here?” She looks at me questioningly. I nod and she straps on the ice pack.

“Thank you.” I say gratefully. To be truthful, my mistreated shin had begun to ache somewhat.

Tiffany sits herself next to me and says apologetically, “I’m so sorry, Tae. My grandmother is really protective of me since my mother passed away.”

“It’s fine, Tiffany.” I brush it off with a smile. “I think it still works.” And I wiggle my toes just to prove it.

She returns my smile. We sit in silence for a few moments.

“So, I have a question for you.” I finally say. “Where did the name Tiffany come from?”

She reaches for the closest pillow and twirls the corners. “As a child, I didn’t like the name Stephanie so I asked for everyone to call me Tiffany instead” She smiles as she reminisces. “No one did at first – except my mom. But eventually the rest of my family relented. Only people I’m close to like family call me Tiffany.”

It slowly dawns on me. “I guess…we…are family now.” I say awkwardly.

“Yes, silly.” Tiffany laughs.

“Well Tiffany-shi,” I place a hand over my chest and bow my head. “I feel extremely honoured.”

“You should be. It’s a big deal.” She teases. “We the Hwang clan are highly selective of our mates.”  

"Well, we the Kim family will take anyone and everyone who applies." 

"That's not what I heard." Tiffany says with a mischievous smile. I give her a quizzical look.

"Apparently, " She continues. "you were Asia's top bachelorette three years in a row."

"Oh that...that was quite embarassing really." I confess. "How do you know about it?"

Tiffany answers with a laugh, "Aunt Maggie's clippings."

Aish that lady and her clippings. I pick up a DVD case which was lying on the bedside table and inspect it.

“It’s called Love Actually. One of my favourite movies! Have you seen it?” She asks, shuffling closer to me.

“Uh…oh yes, I’ve seen it.” No. I haven’t.

“No, you haven’t!” Tiffany playfully hits the pillow on my arm.

I obstinately retort. “Yes, I have.” 

“Fine.” She says. Her eyes are glimmering. She leans closer and I can smell lavender and a hint of…vanilla? “What’s your favourite part of the movie?” She whips back.

Damn. I sneakily peek at the cover, trying to get a clue. Her hand deftly whisks away the case and hides it behind her back. Double damn.

“No cheating.” She cautions.

Cheating? I mean it can’t be that hard. It’s a bloody rom-com right? Not that I’ve seen that many of those, mind you.

I take an indignant breath say, “Well, it is pretty obvious what my favourite part is really.” I’m buying some time to think.

“I’m waiting.” She taps her foot on the floor in mock impatience.

“It’s when the guy looks at the girl – ” I turn to face her as I say this.

She’s nodding, awaiting my brilliant answer.

I continue, “ – and he stares into her eyes – ” Our gazes lock.

“ – and he says – ” Her body tenses a little.

“ – babe, I love you, actually.” I finish shamelessly. I give her a self-satisfied smile. 

Tiffany suddenly clamps her hands over but bursts out laughing anyway.

“Tae! That was…horrible!” She breathes out. “You have no clue what the movie is about!”

“What?” I say defensively. “I’m sure someone must have said that sometime, somewhere in the movie!”

I reach for the DVD case behind her, determined to check whether there is an ounce of possibility I could be right. She tries to twist away but I push forward, placing my knee on the bed to get leverage. Unfortunately, it was the same knee with the ice pack strapped on. My knee slips and I land right on top of her with our faces merely inches apart.

Her smile melts away and our eyes meet. I feel I should move away but something holds me in place. We need to practice, right? And…and maybe I want to kiss her.

Okay. I want to kiss her.

I feel her warm breath on my lips. If I just lean in a little…

There is an unexpected knock on the door and a man walks in the room.

Mr Hwang.

Tiffany’s father.

At once, I feel like a fifteen year old delinquent caught making out red-handed. I jump off her at once. My cheeks are burning hot.

Then, I remind myself that I’m not a teenager, I’m not a delinquent, and that woman I was on top of so happens to be my wife.

“Hello Mr Hwang.” I say calmly.

“Ah I just wanted to say dinner is read…” He trails off as what he sees finally sinks in. He hastily retraces his steps, backing away. “Oh I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

Tiffany stands up. “No, daddy it’s fine!”

Just as Mr Hwang reaches the door, attempting to close it, I hear a kerfuffle behind him.

“Hey dad move!”

“What is he doing?”

“I don’t know!”

Too late, my heart sinks as Michelle and Leo push their way in.

Great.

“Yo sis. You’ll never guess wha…” Leo is momentarily distracted by Mr Hwang, who is waving his arms about like a conductor.

“What’s up with dad?” Leo asks with a puzzled grin. “So anyway Tiff, I met this guy who…seriously dad are you okay?”

Mr Hwang had increased the intensity of his movements. His arms are flailing wildly around him and he is starting to puff out of breath.

Michelle who is clearly the savvier of the two silently grabs Leo’s arm and pulls him out of the room.

“What’s going on?” He yips before the door closes.

 

 

I have learnt something new about the Hwangs. Although Tiffany is the youngest, she isn’t the immature one of the family.

“So you guys were doing it?” Leo whispers loudly to Tiffany, who is sitting next to him at the dinner table.

Michelle who is seated across from him, admonishes, “Leo! Whatever they were doing is none of your business.”

“Guys, we weren’t doing anything.” Tiffany says exasperatedly. “For the tenth time, Taeyeon slipped and fell on me.”

Leo nods his head thoughtfully whilst chewing a forkful of beef. “You know”, he begins. “The last time dad tripped and fell on mom, we got you.”

“Yaaah!” Tiffany jabs him lightly in his side. Leo sniggers gleefully.

Thankfully, the rest of her family are sitting on the other side of the table. Mr Hwang is in deep conversation with his brother. Judy is checking her reflection off a spoon. Maggie is rattling on about a charity for abandoned ferrets. Jason is politely listening with a glazed look in his eyes. Madame Hwang has dozed off with the occasional snore escaping her.

“So what do you do Michelle?” I ask eager to move on to another topic of conversation.

“I’m a teacher. I teach physics to college students.” She replies.

“Never interested in business?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “Neither Leo and I felt it was our calling.”

“Yup, I wanted to do video gaming design.” Leo adds. “It was just our little Tiffie, daddy’s last hope who took to business like a house on fire.”

“Plus, none of our spouses work in business. Jason is a teacher like me.” Michelle explains.

“And Judy is an aspiring socialite.” Leo jibes.

The rest of dinner goes on without a hitch. I sit back and watch with growing interest at the family banter being thrown around the table. I learn of inside jokes, a few embarrassing memories are unhashed. The whole atmosphere is warm and relaxed. I can’t remember the last time my family had a cup of tea together, let alone an entire meal.

At the end of dinner, I steal a glance at my watch.

“I should go.” I say. “It’s getting late. Thanks for the lovely food.” I rise from the table. There is a scrape of chairs being pushed back as everyone else stands to say their goodbyes.

Mr Hwang gets up as well. “It is our pleasure, Taeyeon. Next tim – “

Suddenly, the sound of a cane hitting the floor reverberates around the apartment.

“No.” Madame Hwang seems to have woken up from her slumber. The beast awakes.

“Er…what do you mean, omoni?” Patrick asks.

She stares at everyone intently and utters a single word. “Paebak.”

The room is dipped in silence. The rest of the Hwangs exchange confused glances. Tiffany looks enquiringly at her grandmother. Why do I get a bad feeling about this?

Mr Hwang clears his throat. “Omoni, paebak should be done at the wedding ceremony not here.”

Madame Hwang fixes her son with a glassy look and says, “No. I don’t know how long I have left on this earth.”

Judy rolls her eyes. Mr Hwang looks to his brother for help but Patrick shrugs with a ‘what do you want me to do?’ expression.

“She’s been saying that since fifteen years ago.” Leo mumbles in my ear.

“And as the elder of this family, it is my wish that we do paebak now.” The old lady shoots a sharp expression across the room, daring anyone to go against her.

Mr Hwang sighs with an air of defeat. Tiffany glances at me helplessly.

Suddenly, it feels like it’s going to be a long night.

 

 

Paebak, I find out in the most inconvenient way, is a traditional bowing ceremony. Everyone has huddled in the living room. The instigator, Madame Hwang has nestled herself nicely in the middle of the sofa. Mr Hwang and his brother Patrick are on either side of her, looking slightly uncomfortable and apologetic. Maggie is sitting next to her husband gawking at the sight before her.

Tiffany and I are kneeling in front of them. In between us is a bottle of specially brewed tea that Madame Hwang brought with her.

“Now serve the tea to each other.” She croons. The old lady has been barking orders at us the moment we started this darn ceremony. I’m certain she’s thoroughly enjoying herself. No one else is familiar with the ins and outs of paebak. And I get a suspicion, that Tiffany’s grandmother is taking liberal creative license in orchestrating the whole affair.

For one thing, I don’t understand why only Tiffany and I are drinking the ‘tea’. And I don’t believe serving each other tea nine times is standard practice. Scratch that, this is our tenth cup. We’ve already had to have two bathroom breaks.

I bring the cup gently to Tiffany’s lips as she does the same to mine. I take a sip of the tangy liquid and supress the urge to gag. Definitely not my favourite drink. There is a bitter after taste and it burns whilst going down. I see Tiffany grimace as she swallows a sip.

“Halmeoni, how much more of this do we have to do?” Tiffany asks. She must be tired because she’s slurring slightly.

“This is the last cup. But there is one final task.” Madam Hwang instructs. “The both of you have to write a list of things you value in your spouse.”

Mr Hwang’s eyebrows meet in a frown. “Omoni, I don’t remem – “

“It’s tradition!” She snaps back at him. “The tea helps bring out the true feelings!” She waves the cane about once more.

Jason helpfully gets us a sheet of paper and a pen each. I stare down at it and scribble a few words. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can leave. Thank goodness it’s the weekend tomorrow.

I glance at what I’ve written so far.

Hardworking, intelligent, excellent interpersonal skills.

Aish…it sounds like a reference letter. I blink a few times. The words appear blurry and why is my handwriting so horrendous?

I squint at the last two words I wrote, trying to make them out. It looks like…lips and kiss?

My eyes dart to Tiffany who is kneeling beside me, focussed on her list. My gaze falls on her lips.

She does have nice lips. Really nice. Pink, plump. Kissing them would be a good idea…what?

I shake my head, attempting to clear my mind but all I do is make myself lightheaded.

Something is out of place. I don’t feel right. My face feels hot and prickly. Perhaps splashing some cool water on my face will help. I try to stand but my legs wobble unsteadily.

“Taeyeon, are you okay?” Michelle asks concerned. She had been sitting with Jason and Leo, talking about a mischievous student she encountered. Judy had retired to bed a long time ago, stating she felt fatigued from all the socializing.

“I…no…fiine” Why am I slurring?

Tiffany tries to get up to help me but she falls on her bottom and giggles. It’s like that scene where Bambi is trying to stand for the first time. I place my hands on my thighs and struggle up. I finally manage to stay upright and break into a victorious smile. I have conquered…standing!

Maggie suddenly leaps to me in fits of hysteria and wails, “It’s the tea! She’s been poisoned!” She clutches at my dress and pulls me into a tearful embrace.

Tiffany stops giggling at once and her forehead crinkles into a cute frown. “Mine.” She pouts.

I look down and see that Maggie has both hands firmly gripping my dress.The dress is hers? My brain is filled in a haze of confusion.

Mr Hwang quickly comes over and picks up one of the tea cups. He pours himself a little bit of the tea and takes a swig.

Apprehension dawns on his face and he turns reproachfully to Madame Hwang, “There is alcohol in this.”

“I never said there wasn’t.” She replies defiantly.

"Omoni, you can't just...why did you..." Mr Hwang seems lost for words.

“I will make some coffee.” Michelle offers and sprints to the kitchen.

“Smile!” Jason points his phone towards me and snaps a picture. “One for the family album!” He laughs.

Two cups of very strong coffee later, Tiffany and I have sobered up slightly. We are both slumped on the sofa. Leo and Jason had to help get us on it in the first place. Tiffany has a hand on her forehead, her eyes are closed. Most of her family have gone to bed. Only Michelle and Mr Hwang are sitting with us. Once everyone realized the tea was spiked by none other than Madame Hwang, she was sent to her room by Tiffany’s father. There was a flurry of apologies and frankly I was too dazed to feel annoyed.

“I should go.” I say to Tiffany. Before anything else happens.

Tiffany moves her hand away and says, “Why don’t you stay?”

Mr Hwang nods in agreement.

“It’s not safe to drive, Taeyeon. You will have to spend the night.” He sounds apologetic.

With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I concede, “You’re probably right. Thank you for the offer.”

Although, I feel much more alert after the caffeine, driving once consuming the amount I have had would be dangerous and irresponsible. Plus, it’s too late to call my driver. I could if I really wanted to, but my conscience wouldn’t allow it.

There are six bedrooms in the apartment. Mr Hwang and Madame Hwang have a room each. Then Patrick and Maggie share a room. Michelle and Jason, and Leo and Judy have a room to themselves as well.  

Which means, I will have to sleep in Tiffany’s bedroom.