-53

Take My Breath Away

Chapter Fifty-Three

“You nearly shouted at your mother, Kai—“

“So it’s fine when you do it?”

“What the  is wrong with you?”

23rd of May 2015

‘Have fun on the trip! When you get back… we got stuff to deal with.’

‘Their rehearsal dinner, I know, unnie.’

‘Heh… sorry, take care!’
 

“Princess, good to go?”

She flinches and snaps her head up to see him by the corridor, bag slung over his shoulder that’s bulky with clothes and she’s glancing down to her bag pack, “Yeah, I guess so…”

“That’s all you’re bringing?” He’s gawking when she shifts away from her dorm door and the two start their journey out of the dormitory. She heaves the bag over her shoulder and feels her sets of clothes in her bag that supposed to last her for seven days and six nights, “I… guess so?”

He sighs and shakes his head, “Do you have a dress in there?”

She an eyebrow, not answering directly, “Why?”

Do you?”

“I asked why,”

“But I asked first,”

She glares and he’s answering, “W-Well, my mom likes it when girls come and they’re dressed prettily—especially when they’re my girlfriend,”

She rolls her eyes and is tempted to say that she’s going to wear whatever the heck she wants but she doesn’t. She bites back her tongue and says, “Well, then I may or may not be a disappointment,”

He fakes an exasperated sigh and slings an arm over his shoulder, shaking his head once more but it’s much more exaggerated than before, “Oh princess, what do I do with you?”

She takes his arm and manages to twist it against his back and he’s pressed to the nearest wall just by the exit of the building. He whines in pain, tries to nudge away but it’s only straining his muscles more and the thought of needing to make use of them the whole day once they reach to his parents’ restaurant has him wincing, “H-Hey! A boy in need to use his muscles here!”

“Wrong answer,” She breathes, pressing harder and he cries, “Fine! You can wear jeans and whatever the you want along with it but just stop my arm hurts—!”

She lets go and chuckles, getting a real kick out of this, “You’re so whiny—it’s funny,”

He narrows his eyes at her when she pushes the door open and she catches on quick that she has to speed it up when his trail is quick behind her, “Now it’s you that should come here!” He hollers as he chases her and she’s much closer to the bus stop and just her luck, the bus is pulling over.

In the end, they sit beside each other, anyway.

 

 


 

 

The door opens and there is a ding that sounds the moment they enter. Kai is grinning and dropping his bag the moment a woman chases after him and wraps her arms around him. She looks just like him, he has her eyes, her lips and she’s beautiful for her age. She looks like she ages gracefully and it’s impossible to spot the wrinkles on her face. She pulls away to pepper Kai’s face with kisses and he’s laughing, chuckling and it’s been a while since she’s seeing how happy Kai is. He tries to stop her just to introduce her to someone and he holds her by her waist to make her lean away, “Mom!” He breathes, directing her to the person standing next to her and thank God there weren’t many people yet.

“This is my girlfriend, Hee Young and Hee Young, Mama Kim,”

She grins and gladly shakes your hand, then pulls you into a welcoming hug, “So this is beautiful girl that stole my little boy’s heart!”

Hee Young tries her best to return the hug with both arms and smiles, “You look really healthy, Mrs. Kim,”

She tuts and leans away, shaking her head, “Call me mum! Or mama, like how Jongin—“

“Mom!”

“Or mom, is it?”

“Where’s dad?” Kai is changing the topic and Hee Young is all smiles the moment she sees through Kai’s intentions. His mother steps away and gives the boy a light tap on the head, “He’s in the farm so you can go ahead and help him instead. Meanwhile…” She gestures to Hee Young and she bows respectively, “I-I’ll help out here,” And here, it’s the restaurant.

“Ah! Kyung-Ki is looking for you as well,”

“He’s here?” Kai is shocked and his mother is waving him away as she dragged the two bags (Hee Young and Kai’s) to place them by the side before they’d move them up to the apartment they live above—owned by their parents as well, of course, “Yes but we’ll all gather for dinner later so just go over to the farm and help your father,”

He waves a hand and swoops Hee Young with an arm, wishing her good luck with the restaurant because it’s hell and it’s hard to keep up with a person like his mom but it’s not impossible. She shoves him away and tells him to be careful instead because it’s not like she doesn’t have experience in being a waitress, anyway. His mother is laughing, Kyung-Ki makes an appearance later and he introduces himself as Kai’s sister’s boyfriend but it all begins seriously in thirty minutes flat after a short introduction to everything and anything.

In the midst of working, Hee Young finds herself staring around at the well-decorated restaurant. It has a suburb type of feel along with a mix of vintage. The walls are painted with a pretty shade of pastel peach and she’s staring at all the photo frames and Polaroid pictures pasted. She has a pause of break and she’s fiddling with the rag as her eyes are glued to the pictures. There was a picture of Kai as a child, grinning and his sister is enveloping him in. Her eyes are shining brighter than the sun and Kai’s eyes were sparkling much more than the stars could—it’s painful at the same time. She understands how hard it must’ve been for Kai and how hard it could—it makes her more conscious of what she’s supposed to tell him as the seconds tick by because she knows she has to do it here, she just has to.

Maybe not today, she has seven days, right? (Funny, just like the horror movie)

Her eyes move on over to the other set of pictures and there’s a ding from the cash register as Kyung-Ki keys in the amount of money received before slamming it shut. He’s flinching when the woman beside him doesn’t move an inch and he follows her gaze to…

“Kai did it—he fished for a chick,” He comments but the latter was frowning, “She… she reminds me of someone…”

Kyung-Ki pursues his lips because he’s clueless and lost but he keeps his gaze on Hee Young, “She’s definitely nice, that’s one—though she’s shy but I feel that she must like Kai a lot to come here. Remember that other girl?”

At the mention, the two shudder. Soon Hae wasn't that helpful here. She broke a few plates, made a few regulars leave and... well...

“I mean she's good but...that’s not what I meant. It's like I’ve seen her before…”

Kyung-Ki is rational and he says, “Well, you’ve seen a lot of people come and go from the restaurant and at the farm so, it’s normal,”

The older presses her lips and the creases on her forehead disappears, “I guess you’re right, then.”

“C’mon, let’s get back to work,” He gives her shoulder a soft bump and she’s grinning, ruffling his hair, “Jung-Ah would be proud of you… you don’t have to come back here but here you are—“

“I’ll come back here all the time,” He assures her with a hug from the side, one arm over her shoulder and smiling at her, “All the time.”

“Order for a chicken steak, medium rare and iced lemon tea,” A voice rings and the order is tapped onto the counter before the figure moves over to the drinks station. Their eyes follow the figure and Kyung-Ki grins at the girl flipping bottles, jugs and filling the cup with ice to finish it off with a straw at the end in preparing a nice, cold glass of a refreshing drink, “You know, if they last long until marriage, we’d have no problem in shortage of staff,”

Kai’s mother is rolling her eyes but she does notice how Hee Young moves swift and she’s considerate at the same time to her surroundings, to the customers and she swears she’s seen that pair of eyes more than just once. She’s nodding and mumbling a soft mhm but paying no mind to it as her eyes did the observation.

This can’t be a coincidence no matter how hard she tries to believe it.

 

 


 

 

During dinner, everyone is cheerful and the atmosphere is dipped with a bright color with all laughs and smiles. There are jokes here and there and with good food, it seals the deal. Kai’s dad is making a joke that Hee Young is way much prettier than Kai’s ex-girlfriend and he expects his son to blow up but all he does is shrug it off, nodding as he says, “Definitely,”

Hee Young is elbowing him underneath the table and he yelps but his parents laugh in return.

The dinner is smooth and dinner is the same, livelier for the next few days up until the final dinner, the sixth day. There are definitely sore muscles, worn-out nerves but overall, Kai would proudly say it’s worth it because there’s no place like home. In return or to celebrate, the boys had gone out to buy back some of the best desserts nearby that should take them about not more than an hour or two to get back.

The remaining ladies in the household resort to peeling the fruits and they have a lovely chat.

Until… of course…

“Say… Hee Young?”

“Hm?”

“C-Can I ask you something?”

Hee Young lifts her chin up from peeling the tangerines, nodding at the lady opposite her, “Sure,”

She sees his mother placing the fruit down, brushes her hands on her apron and then lingers her hand over the counter, “Come with me,”

Hee Young doesn’t hesitate to place her hand in hers and she’s leading her out of the room. The two walk past the hallway and Hee Young is growing concerned at what’s going on because as far as she’s concerned, for the past few days she’s been doing well. She’s helped out in the restaurant, milked a few cows and she’s showing better performance than Kai (as per said by Kyung-Ki since Kai is an old bird) so it’s really making her mind boggle.

The two are in the bedroom, his parents, and she tells her to close the door when they enter and she’s letting go of her hand. Dumbfounded but obedient, the door clicks and Hee Young is watching her fish out a box from the cupboard. She offers to help, she tries to but all she does is sit down on the bed after his mother told her to because it’s nothing to worry about. It’s not heavy but the feeling in it… it’s heavier than anything in the world.

She opens a book, a photobook and she’s seated beside Hee Young on the bed. Even though she’s saying words of comfort, words of reassurance, she feels what’s about to come.

“I don’t want to jump to conclusions but… I’ve seen enough to try to guess and I need to know. I can’t have you leave without me at least trying to get some confirmation so… I’ll ask you just one thing…”

Hee Young’s eyes take a glance and the nerves are getting to her and she thinks her mind is playing tricks but… no.

She sees what she sees and his mother asks what she asks as she points.

“That’s… that’s you… isn’t it?”

Hee Young hesitate and there was no response to it at all. His mother is trying to stop herself from doing this but she can’t—she needs to know, she just needs to. She fights the urge to look at the poor girl beside her but she does and she meets eyes with the same eyes shown in the picture—old and yellow but perfectly clear that it’s two kids, one her son… the other Hee Young.

“Please,” His mother resorts to pleading, “I want to confirm it that… for the longest time, I’ve—“

Hee Young’s eyes fall to a close, the words of that’s me escapes her lips and the photobook nearly slips from her hands.

His mother’s mouth falls agape and she’s unable to process it despite already having a hunch all this while. The air around them is still, an encompassing silence that lingers in the air like a thick mist that cannot be dismissed. Their surroundings are silent and it takes them a moment to process the whole thing together.

Unknowingly, his mother wraps a hand around Hee Young’s and Hee Young allows it—she feels what his mother is about to ask and she feels a kick when his mother asks.

“D-Does Jongin… does he know…?”

“N… No,”

Her eyes widen, and her voice is shaking, “He doesn’t?”

Hee Young’s eyes have not opened yet but her voice doesn’t falter as she answers, “He doesn’t know. I… I’m still finding the right time to tell and—”

“What don’t I know?”

A foreign yet familiar voice speaks out and the door is opened on its own. The doorframe, there’s a person standing there and the expression is a dark one as well. The two jump from the bed and Hee Young is allowing his mother to pull her hand away from Hee Young. Kai is stepping into the room, the look on his face unreadable, it’s like a mask and it’s covering all his emotions from flooding out. It looks almost possible for venom to seep through from his eyes and the heat that’s radiating through his body is enough for her to feel that he’s not liking this one bit.

“What does my mother know that I don’t?” He asks and his mother is interfering, “W-When did you guys get back? Wasn’t there a jam or—“

What are you two hiding from me?” He asks, he’s trying to stay calm but there’s no lie that everyone can feel the anger dripping from his voice, the redness of his ears clearly shows that he’s not pleased and his clenched fists are a sign that that’s the condition of his heart—pulsing with anxiety, racing with betrayal at the numerous amount of conclusions forming in his mind.

His mother tries to help because for one, she’s known Hee Young for a good few years and Hee Young has been nothing but a good soul—someone kind, beautiful inside out and someone that balances well with her own son. Here she tries standing up for her, here she tries her all but it’s not working.

It’s not working.

“S-She was going to—“

“Mom,” He breathes, turning to look at her and he holds a hand out, “Give me the photobook,”

She shakes her head, trying to step back, “Jongin—“

He darts out and reaches for it nonetheless and the book slips from his mother’s hand. He stares at the picture and it’s a picture he hasn’t been seeing for a while but it does trigger out a few things. It’s a lot to take in but he sees bits and parts of his memory flashing up, the familiar person in his mind but he’s not entirely sure until he stares at the photo and then up to the girl before him. Someone he calls his girlfriend, someone he trusts but the words are leaving faster than his mind could filter them.

“Are you…” His breathing is shallow, he’s growing weaker, “Are you the girl in this picture?”

Hee Young doesn’t meet with his gaze and it doesn’t take a lot for her to know that he’s still not liking this at all.

He’s nearly crushing the edge of the book, his knuckles turning white as he asks once more—deepened with desperation, thick with a need of an answer.

“I asked you a question—“

“Yes,” Hee Young answers, firm and clear but Kai looks like he’s having a mental breakdown. He can’t let it all sink in and he feels eyes on his back as he feels his body shaking. He looks over his shoulder, meeting eyes with his father and Kyung-Ki by the dining table. He looks at his father, then back at the book, then at his father once more, “You guys knew about this?”

Even though he didn’t mention about what, the two silently nodded, white painting their face, guilt all over and Kai is almost dropping the book, “Mom...” He avoids her gaze and steps to the side, “Can you give us a moment?”

His mother tries to stand firm, “Kim Jongin—“

"While I'm still asking nicely."

"You're my son-!"

Hee Young reaches out to hold onto his mother’s hand, giving her a squeeze and it’s an unspoken message that it’s alright. It takes his mother a moment but once the door is closed, the two are alone.

“What else?” He demands, his eyes are blazing with red and she dares to meet with his gaze, “What do you mean?

The book from his hands gets thrown, landing to the floor beside her with a loud thud and he can hear the gasps from the door on the opposite end but he couldn’t find a to give.

What else are you hiding from me?”

She tries hard to stay calm but as the minutes ticked by, the anger bubbling from within wasn’t making her sound too pleasant to the ear either because Kai couldn’t take a moment to ing calm down to listen for a second. No. He just goes around thinking he knows everything, throwing a book, demanding for answers… but she understands why. She understands.

She understands.

Nothing,” She answers blankly—and he’s fuming.

“You’re lying,”

“And how would you know?”

He bites back his tongue and he sees the way she glares back at him—the atmosphere around here that was once a loving and filled with nothing but warmth had turned into a pit of wrath and anger.

“You nearly shouted at your mother, Kai—“

“So it’s fine when you do it?”

“What the is wrong with you?”

“You tell me!” He loses it, he’s yelling but he can’t bring himself to stop himself. His mind is telling him to listen, listen, ing listen because he’s going to regret this but he doesn’t. The confusion all this while bottles up. The faded image of the girl in his mind is clearly coming to life but at the same time he doesn’t ing know, he doesn’t remember and it’s not making sense but at the same time it is and he’s confused. His mind is trying to calm himself down but the emotions festering all this while explodes, it spreads out and it’s controlling his mouth to the words leaving without thinking it through.

“You know more than I do, so , why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with me because all you do is hide, you hide everything from me!”

He watches her bite the inside of her cheek, he sees her body trembling and he sees that her eyes are this close to doing that thing that breaks his heart. He’s watching her every move, every breath and his mind is telling him to gather himself to approach her better but it’s not working.

“So what is it? What’s so ing important that you hide it from me that even my parents go against me, go behind my back to stand on your side—“

“I’m your friend, Kai,” She stresses every word, every syllable and from the words, he’s rising with anger again.

“What the —“

“I’m your friend from years back. I’m the friend who’s been with you ever since you could walk, I’m the friend you signed up dancing classes with. I’m the friend who got into that fight with you on that stupid Sunday afternoon over an ice cream cone. I’m the friend who was your competitor in competitions but I’m that friend that told you that forever means everything especially if it’s with you,” She’s not realizing what’s happening but she continues, she doesn’t realize the tears trickling down but he does and it’s cracking his heart to pieces. He tries to stop her because he can’t take it, it’s too sudden and everything is flooding over him but she goes on anyway—it continues to break and seal his heart both at the same time but he doesn’t know how to stop it. His mind is being replenished with all the memories, the bits and broken pieces of his childhood is being restored to him but at the same time it feels like a block because it’s all too ing sudden.

“I’m that friend… that fell in love with you ever since I was a kid… and I’m that only friend that slipped through your memory ever since the car accident,”

He’s clutching onto the sides of his head, this close to ripping off his hair, feeling everything cram down onto his shoulders, pushing him down until he falls to his knees. She closes her eyes when she feels him digesting everything, she can’t bear to look at his face because she didn’t expect things to take a toll on her just like how it was for him. She uses the back of her hands to wipe her face, her cheeks but he’s staring off into space with a tear rolling down his cheek…

Jongin… wake up… the young girl nudged the boy by the shoulder, his back against the tree trunk, legs spread out and his body lifeless looking as if he’s a dead zombie needing to sleep in order to resurrect back to life.

Jongin, wake up!

Five more minutes…

Jongin…

He grumbled and mindlessly darted his arms out because he knows where she would be and tugged her closer until she was lying flat against his chest, arms by his waist to keep herself from crashing into him and he had this contended smile on his face as he rested his cheek on her head, loving the warmth he got on this cold, chilly summer day and being able to sleep for a bit before heading back to practice—definitely a win for him and she remained unmoving in his arms, swallowing hard as she blinked up to see his face, eyes closed and breathing still calm as he inhaled and exhaled—still asleep with his arms rather tight around her.

Maybe five minutes isn’t so long… and he thought of the same thing.


“You can’t catch me!” 

“Just you wait!” 

“Oh, I wonder where she could be hiding at?” 

She squeals, she’s smiling, she’s clutching onto him as he rolls her around and hugging her to keep her close and unharmed at the same time despite the way he pounced on her. The two are laughing once they’re on the other side of the park, reaching another tree and the little boy is not moving away from her just yet. He’s smiling so wide, the girl thought he’s about to crack his jaw open but he can’t hide the happiness he’s feeling from within.

It takes the boy at least two more minutes of staring before she nudges him over and pats his shoulder, “You’re still it!”

“That’s not fair!” 

“Too bad!”

He groans, he’s throwing a fit—but he’s chasing after her again.


“Up next, Kim Jongin and Kwan Hee Young!”

He proudly stands by the side, standby and there’s a person behind them giving them both pep talk and then he realizes that he’s not alone. There’s people surrounding him and he can hear them by the side as well—there had to be many, many people here for the whole auditorium to make echo such noises. However, his attention snapped to the person beside him. She was about his height, slightly shorter, round brown eyes and she had a small frown on her face, tiny creases on her forehead and he’s wondering how someone so young could have such expression plastered on that pretty face.

“Calm down, we’ve done this many times,” 

“You don’t get it, you never get it,”

“All I did was try to help,”

“You know she’s like that,” A voice soothingly makes him calm down, and when he turns to his side, it’s his sister. He huffs and rolls his eyes when his sister is the girl’s head.


"Sometimes, I think you're a princess,"

"Because you're the prince?"

"No, because you're pretty."

And when his eyes openedhe's back to reality and he's seeing the same pair of eyes he sees all this while and it’s making his head hurt. At first his mind was playing tricks on him, calling him all sorts of things but then he's scared but his eyes avoid the floor, locked with her gaze and the pain in her eyes were no different.

“How could you have hidden something like this from me?” He whispered, feeling like he’s lost his voice but then it’s found when he continues, “I knew there was someone missing but I just couldn’t remember who but you,” He stands up, finding the strength in him and he levels their eyes together. He sees his reflection in her eyes and he doesn’t get it yet—you’re breaking her—“You knew all along! How could you have been so ing selfish to keep it all to yourself?!”

“What if you didn’t remember me?!” She’s shouting, she’s yelling back and she’s trying her best to keep calm but she can’t—she couldn’t. “I was thirteen, I was ing thirteen back then and I couldn’t bring myself to remind you that I’m that girl who stopped dancing just because of that stupid mistake on stage! I…” She shook her head, her lips and she tasted the saltiness on her tongue, “I couldn’t,” She cracked, she’s breaking.

“I didn’t want to go through all of it again—I couldn’t bear to try to remind you that I’m that girl who sprained her ankle on the big stage and you laughing at me like it’s nothing and in the next, your memory gets wiped out and I don’t exist anymore in your mind,” She shakes her head, she shows him she’s vulnerable and they meet eyes once more, “I was thirteen and lost, then fourteen came and I lost half of my world—I didn’t want anything to do with my past that I moved on—“

"You think you're the only one who's lost someone? I lost my sister!" His voice cracks, a tear rolls down, "And I had to lose you too!"

"I did what I had to protect myself, I was alone and you didn't-!"

You didn’t even try,” He’s showing her that he’s breaking as well—he’s losing it. “Didn’t I mean something special to you?”

“And what if you were?” She’s retorting, she’s countering back and she wants all of this to end because it’s all in the ing past, it’s all out and there’s nothing she can change from it but it’s not working. Two flames were burning each other and at the end of the day, it’s not going to end well. Only left with burnt marks.

“What if you didn’t remember me? What if even if I called you Jongin, nothing rang a bell? I followed my gut back then, I did what I had to do,”

“You didn’t have to pretend like I meant nothing to you all these years..." His voice cracked and it didn't differ the conditon of his heart as he met with her gaze, faltering slowly and his voice kept increasing, "You didn't need to walk past me through the hall all the time and act like we were never once friends! You didn't need to leave me in the pit of confusion because I lost my memory! You didn’t have to be so ing-!”

Enough!

The door is flung open and there’s another person standing by the door and it’s Jongin’s mother. She’s in tears, she’s crying and she’s breaking at the sight that her voice is strained, “The both of you are childhood friends, childhood lovers!" She's desperate because she can't bear but feel this pain accumulating from within, "Why is this happening to the both of you?!”

Hee Young keeps silent… and so does Jongin.

And they're wondering the same thing but no one answers.

“Both of you, to the bedroom, now,”

Jongin tries to retaliate, “But—“

“I don’t want to hear anything else.”

That night, the two of them sleep separately despite being in the same room with no words being exchanged. What planned to be a warm night, turned so cold and bitter and Jongin doesn’t know who he’s with and Hee Young is afraid to say it but she’s about to say the same when Jongin turns his back on her.

This was not how she inteded things to end up like.

 

 

 


 author's note;   the long awaited chapter and everything poured out from A-Z. To why Hee Young stopped, to why she didn't want to reveal-to their past as childs. I didn't want to drag it out but at the same time, I didn't want to separate the chapters so the 'feel' is there. I know some might think like 'shouldn't kai just accept it?' but he's left in the dark for so long, so I wrote it that way. also, from Kai, it's changing to Jongin since... you know, the cat's out of the bag.

Aha... I'm sorry if it wasn't as intense as it was but I tried my best.

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Comments

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JulyGoddess
#1
Chapter 58: I'm so happy to find another great story
Thank you for this wonderful, amazing story!
atheerjongin #2
Chapter 24: Why didn't I discover this story earlier?
Seulkai99
#3
Chapter 58: This story is so amazing :)
mistymountains 193 streak #4
Nice story!
Lisha_el
#5
I love the trailer!
ashin_333 #6
Chapter 58: Awesome.. daebak and exciting.. thank you for sharing it??
kyunism #7
Chapter 58: It was really good. I really enjoyed reading this story and I LOVE IT! ♡♡♡ thank you for writing it~
ChrizHK
#8
One of the best stories that I ever read... Thank you so much!!! This is so beautiful!!!
eveangel
#9
I'm starting to love this story!!
So beautifullll!!