The thing that always becomes awkward is… the departure.

Hee Min is waving goodbye, leaving arm an arm with the man candy of hers to guide her out. The principal is waiting in the car and Kai is escorting Hee Young out as well. Just as they reached the pavement, a voice speaks and Hee Young knows this is a moment that was bound to arrive no matter what—she could already foresee it.

Hee Young is eye to eye with her mother, not saying anything, not speaking.

Her mother then looks at the boy holding onto her hand, “S-Say… Kai, could I have a moment with my daughter?”

Kai is turning his head to meet with Hee Young’s gaze, searching for an answer and he’s granted with one when she nods, twice. He sees her gulping nervously that he brings her hand up, planting a gentle kiss on the back of it before he lets it go, bidding her mother goodbye, waving at the principal before he wanders somewhere far off to wait as well as creating a big distance so that it could be considered as giving them the privacy the daughter and mother needs.

Hee Young is standing by the side, leaning on the wall with her back when her mother is timidly, growing smaller and smaller and smaller as she stands in front of the one person she’s been hoping to patch things up for years now.

“He seems to like you a lot,” She states carefully, taking note of her daughter not saying anything, looking away quietly. Her mother lets out an exhale, her words shaking, “I…”

Hee Young brings herself to be brave, eliminating all tension that hung in the air like a thick fog, “You don’t have to be sorry,”

Her mother is definitely caught off guard, blinking up to her with wide eyes, glazed with worry, deep with concern, “W-What?”

“You’re not the cause of dad and Joon’s death, your alcoholic days are over and… you’re getting married,” She extends a hand, “And I’m happy for you,” She notices how odd that came out and the look on her mother’s face confirms it. She rephrases her words and still lingers her hand with twitching fingers, “T-That sounds really weird but… I just—“

Hee Young is the one at lost for words when she feels herself being engulfed in a tight embrace. Longing and warm, guilty and frustrated but as the seconds ticked by, all she could feel was the arms of someone she never thought she’d be in, the arms of a mother.

“I’m sorry,” A voice breathes into her ear, despite the height difference, her mother is shaking, trembling and her words are stuttering but the disappointment is highlighted, “I’m so sorry…”

Hee Young is unsure of what to do: does she reach up with an arm? Does she hug her back with both arms? Does she pull her mother in tighter?

Instead, she uses a hand to her mother’s back, slow and gentle, rubbing circles on her quivering figure, “M-Mom…”

She feels her mother stiffening, then she’s pulling away despite the tears that threaten to fall with a hoarse, “Y-You called me…?”

“No matter how ed up things are,” Hee Young starts, astonished by her own words and newly-found courage but she continues on nevertheless, “You will and always be my mother,”

And with that, Hee Young lost count of the seconds, minutes she remains in that position of being tightly held in her mother’s somewhat shorter arms. For a minute it was hard to believe, then a part of her is relieved for finally doing what’s been dragging her down all this while—though things were still in a rough, though she may not be able to feel that loving feeling of home just yet, she foresees the future and it’s… shockingly…

Bright.

“That didn’t go so bad, did it?” He’s asking once she’s approaching him, seeing how he kicked himself away from the brick wall he had been leaning against and his eyes are glowing when he looks at her. She shakes her head, “No… not really…”

After the two had taken at least five steps down the pavement, he boldly reaches for her hand, interlocks their fingers together and then speaks gently, “Things will be fine. Like my sister always told me, it doesn’t seem like it now but when you can look back at it and smile… that’s when you know things are fine,”

She notices the tinge of bittersweet on the tip of his tongue when he mentions his sister, how his eyes are glued to the ground, as if he was analyzing the constant distance between one box and another, with the other then the other one, he seems to be deep in his thought that she mumbles without thinking, “Your sister is a wise person…”

It’s a pause of silence as they walk—between them but around them the streets were busy, lively with moving cars and the small chatters of others as they walk by but it doesn’t affect them. Then he’s speaking once more and she pays attention.

“I like how you say that,”

“Say what?” She quirks an eyebrow, her ears are definitely listening.

“Usually, people say ‘was’ because… well… she’s not here anymore but you…” He takes a glance at her, more like a peek that lasted for two seconds but it was two seconds of heartwarming eye contact, a look of securement, “You’re different,”

She chuckles and shakes her head, idly staring ahead of them, “I say the same thing about my brother and father… well, sometimes…”

He’s smiling, grinning, in fact, “Better than never,”

“Yeah,” She agrees.

“It’s nice to have someone who understands,” He admits and his hand is showing his words means something when he gives her a tight squeeze, “And it’s better when she’s right next to me,”

She rolls her eyes and nearly barfs up her lunch from the cheesiness—at least, that’s what she’s showing, anyway—“I still don’t know where you get your boost of confidence to say such chees—“

She halts her words, as if she’s lost what she plans to say when she felts a peck, like a touching of his full lips against her cheek and she could feel the heat radiating as she turns to look at him, eyes wide, dilated with shock, “Y-You—!“

“It’s cute when you blush,” He chuckles, and hurriedly let go of her hand when she’s trying to snatch for him, “Come here!”

He sprints, he runs but he slows down to make sure it’s not that much of a chase as she’s right behind him, “Come get me!”

“You’re so dead when I get you! You can’t just do that in public!”

“I’m afraid I can, princess!”

They ran back all the way to the dorm that day, out of breath and their clothes a mess but all in all, it was worth it.

She settles down on the bed, a bunch of thoughts cleared in her mind for now but she knows that she’ll have to deal with them—but just not today. She’s been through quite a lot for this day and she’s not going to break herself by overthinking. Speaking of overthinking, her phone lights up when there’s a -message and a familiar ding. She reaches for her phone and then a smile suddenly appears.

'Nervous for tomorrow?’

She shifts in bed, but her reply is being typed at the same time.

‘No, not really… you?’

He replies quicker than she thinks, leaving her no time to put her phone aside.

‘To be honest, yeah. I’m nervous as hell to what our results are… aren’t you??? O.o’

He inserts an emoticon and she can already imagine the way he’d up an eyebrow due to the curiosity.

‘Well… we’ve already done our best so… the results is all out of our hands.’

He sighs upon reading her message, part of him ignoring the random words Kyungsoo was mumbling about him being that too-deep-fallen-in-love high school girl that he’s unable to focus properly. But he brings himself to do so as he quirks up a reply.

‘I wish I had that type of mentality. So confident.’

She frowns at her screen and shakes her head, the words that leave her lips will never be typed out, if only you truly knew…

Then she’s trying to tell him, her fingers typing out halfway,

‘I… I have something to tell you, Jongin-ah—‘

Unfortunately, a message interrupts and she doesn’t know if this is a sign from God to wait for the right time or not but when she taps on the message and the words ‘I think I’m going to head bed early. See you tomorrow morning, princess’ fills the screen, she’s sighing and erasing the previously typed words, replaced with ‘See you and good night, Kai’.

She puts her phone aside and flops down onto the pillow, flicking the lights off with more than just one thought running through her mind.

She’s overthinking again.

Morning comes and the results are posted out. Everyone is gathered around in the room, Mr. Kang holding up the papers and grading in his hands and there’s nothing they can do but wait. It’s dead silent, it’s torturous but they’re doing all they can do to hold themselves down and ing wait.

“First up…”

She doesn’t hear anything, it’s mute and it’s just a faint beep in her mind. She’s shaking, she’s nervous but even so, she’s trying to hold herself together.

He’s clutching onto her hand, calming her nerves down and it’s the first time he’s seeing her to be so nervous. Her face is pale, he sees cold sweat trickling down her temple and he’s wondering if she’s feeling okay just yet.

Then their name gets called—both together—and he’s paling. He gets up in courtesy of her and tells her that he’s going to get it for them. She sits, she waits and she looks around to see some of the people in the room jump out of joy, some almost at the brink of breaking, some just not saying anything because the anxiety and nervousness is biting their insides.

She nearly flips when he’s back and he’s not daring enough to look at it just yet.

But when they do, the both fell silent.

“So how was it?”

“That doesn’t look like a good look…”

“Dude, I passed so you must’ve, too!”

“Shut up, they don’t have a good look…”

They keep their hands held together behind their backs when they approach the bunch of lads by the lockers. Lay had his results in his hand and he’s saying words that go between the lines of him being able to pass even with a goon like Soon Hae being his partner so they should be able to pass with flying colors hands down. But what makes him confused is their dark look on their face, on nothing but solemnity and he feels a kick in his gut. Kyungsoo is analyzing the look on his roommate’s face and Junmyeon is nearby as well so he joined the crowd.

All Kai does is reach out with his free hand, showing them the paper and the three goes insane.

“! Guys!”

“It says here distinction, you mother fuc—“

“Come here, !” Kai is being smuggled away from Hee Young, against the lockers and Kyungsoo is joining Lay in giving him an -whooping he won’t forget. Junmyeon is dodging the fight and managed to get the paper of the important result away and he had a knowing grin as he saw the words on the paper. He looks at Hee Young then hands her back the respective piece, “Congratulations, Kwan Hee Young,”

There’s a smile on Hee Young’s face and he notices the brightness in them—the warmth; that’s the smile he knows Minseok would be missing.

“You’re happier,” He comments, he takes notes and she rolls her eyes.

“Yeah… I am, actually,”

Junmyeon puts his hands in his pockets and uses his eyes to point at someone, “Have you…?”

She shakes her head and steps away, Kai still in the world with his mates and talking about a celebration party that they dismiss everything and anything that Junmyeon and Hee Young is discussing on—even if they talk about the cure to cancer or the place to the most prized treasure, these bunch of fools won’t stand a chance in listening.

“I haven’t… actually…”

Junmyeon frowns, “You shouldn’t let it fester for too long—few more months and it’s graduation,”

“I know,” She cuts him off, huffing, “I… I plan to tell him during semester break,”

“That’s…” Junmyeon gulps, “That’s next week,”

Hee Young nods and sighs, “Yeah…”

“I only hope he takes it the right way—he may feel betrayal, anger and ignorance if he doesn’t remember but… you’re not going to give up, are you?”

Hee Young shakes her head, loosely at first but then firmer once she sneaks a peek at Kai and he flashes a grin. She faces Junmyeon in front of her and Junmyeon is smiling at the way she declares, I gave up the first time, I’m not giving up the second time.