Chapter Forty-Two

“I was waiting for an invitation,”

3rd of April 2015

“Still up for tomorrow?” Lay asked, tapping Kai by the arm and the latter gave a nod, muttering softly I’ve got nothing else to do as the two walked down the halls, back to their dorm after a somewhat pleasant dinner with another two. However, halfway down the corridor, Lay tapped Kai on the shoulder, “Aite, see you man.” Lay grinned, giving Kai’s shoulder a squeeze before turning to the right, towards the brown door before a key was all it took to unlock it and already Kai could hear the shrieking of his roommate and then a girl’s voice. Kai shook his head with a smirk, they shouldn’t have went back to a dorm when there’s a hotel right across the college.

As Kai’s steps grew slower, approaching his own room, a hand lingering on the doorknob, he had second thoughts as he looked out of the window. First it urged him to go to where his mind told him to go but then his heart questioned something like are you sure you want to go? Where would he go to, anyway? And out of all the places he could pick from, how was he truly sure he’d see who he wanted to see out of the many?

With a sigh, he decided to forget it and clicked his door open with a key before closing it behind him. Kyungsoo’s ears perked up at the sound of the boy coming back so early especially after what he had just seen with his own eyes. Didn’t think he’d be back so soon, though…. Kai stepped into the room, casually tossing his jacket aside and then emptying his pockets on the table followed by the clinking of the keys as well before nudging his shoes off. Kyungsoo peeked at the boy from his book, noticing how Kai hadn’t said anything ever since he came back from the whole MT—Kyungsoo doesn’t like being surrounded by too many people, so he easily passed up the MT and gave his spot to Kai, which is why he was so curious to why Kai’s acting as if he got possessed since he returned.

But, Kyungsoo being Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo wouldn’t be Kyungsoo if he didn’t bit back his tongue, holding his thoughts in place as his eyes scanned through the line that he had read earlier and he could already see Kai’s eyes gazing at him from his bed.

Hyung, the start was gentle, questioning as he stared at the ceiling.

What, the reply was nonchalant. He saw it coming, anyway.

Can I ask you something? the feeling was curious.

Have I ever said no?

A sigh came and then the following question: what is it when… when I… a small pause and then, damn it… a groan followed after, unsatisfied, confused, lost—in total confusion as he wasn’t exactly ready in asking something especially when he’s not certain about what he’s going to ask just yet. Kyungsoo sighed and closed his book, putting his book aside calmly before sitting up, eyeing the boy lying down on his back, eyes staring up, heart nervous, his mind in a complete mess; he could only imagine how many natural disasters were happening in his mind. Tornadoes, tsunamis, earthquakes—ah, all of them combined, you get Kai’s brain, for now at least.

It’s that girl again, isn’t it?

Kai sat up on his bed, taking a glance at Kyungsoo, h-how do you know?

The older shook his head with a small smile, pointing out the obvious, your relationship with your parents are fine, your grades are above average, you’re great with some people—what else is there to bother you if not a girl?

Kai could only grumble in return, turning his body to face Kyungsoo as he planted his feet on the floor, you freak me out sometimes…

You know, maybe you’ll get your answer if you go to the dance practice room, you can analyze what’s going on in that brain of yours.

Kai almost took that in seriously but he flipped is head to Kyungsoo, raising an eyebrow, wait, what?

Kyungsoo pointed with his eyes towards the door, leaning back, book in his hands, I saw her going into that room before I came back—

Why didn’t you say anything?! He shouted, flipping up from his spot before dashing towards the door and in the next, a slam could be heard and Kyungsoo simply smirked. He got up, trailing towards the door where he glanced back, seeing Kai’s phone left vacant along with the other necessities, Kyungsoo thought that maybe this was time to have some fun. With a click from the door, the latter went back to reading his book, smirking for himself as he read this book once more.

Seems like Kai needs to do a sleepover, tonight.

Kai acted too rash into running down the halls, probably waking a few people up along the way but he couldn’t care less—they either were cussing at him, screaming, shouting or some were just too stressed because the tests were coming soon and Kai being Kai, he didn’t give a . Or rather, he had other things to care for before he’d even think about this.

So when he’s acting rash, doing what his heart tells him to before his mind even thinks of it, you get Kai sprinting over to the other side of the campus, making sharp turns on the left then right then left again before he ran straight down to take another left turn. Then he tiptoed across the office and coincidentally saw someone there. Instead of walking and ignoring it like he didn’t see it, he stopped walking, breathing heavy yet mind totally focused as he leaned back, retracing his steps backwards to peek from the side of the door. He narrowed his eyes, focusing his vision on the person standing by the desk, nodding, saying yeah, everything’s prepared and then the two conversed much softer, as if they knew someone was listening and Kai could only furrow his eyebrows.

Yet his heart stopped when he heard my flight is this weekend…

He stood there with crossed arms, leaning back against the wall by the side where he remained hidden but his thoughts were not as he whispered Minseok… he said…

“I need you to promise me first,” Minseok’s voice was calm, eyes nearly pleading Kai that the boy had to sit back down, exhaling out the heat in his body, his hands reaching up to rub his face because this was too much for him to handle in a timespan of a day—it was driving him nuts.

But, nevertheless, I promise.

I need you to promise me that you’ll take care of her while I’m gone because I don’t know if I’m ever coming back—and I don’t want you to tell me that you don’t want to when I know that you do. So do you and me a favor and… just… do what’s right.

Minseok’s eyes glazed with worry, with concern, but his voice was different as he spoke—he sounded like he was going to break.

Just please don’t hurt her.

Kai sighed, muttering something else, when are you leaving?

There was this moment of silence before he mumbled quietly, not so soon, but… not that late either.

Not so soon, huh?

“N-No… I don’t want the announcement to be made,” Minseok breathed, clutching onto the papers in his hands, gazing down to the side where the rest were gathered in a nice stack and he didn’t want to meet eyes with the person talking to him as of now—he couldn’t.

“Did you tell… Hee Young?”

A nod.

“What about your other friends?”

I don’t have other friends.

“Those people in class?”

They don’t count.

The woman by the desk exhaled deeply before shaking her head, Minseok, can you seriously tell me what’s the reason with your sudden urge to study there? Out of all the times I’ve tried to persuade you and initially, I thought that it was because you needed more encouragement but why…why now?

The latter felt like he had no words to say because really, his mind was more messed up in the past and he was unable to see, unable to see what was ahead of him, his future because he was so into thinking that his future was here, he thought his future was with Hee Young, building up hopes around nothing, grasping onto everything when in reality there was nothing to hold onto, she never belonged to him and no matter how long he’s been there for her… he knows that someone else has been there for him way before him, someone else had a stronger connection than he did, someone else had her heart in the first place even when she didn’t realize it.

This was a new start for Minseok and he needed this more than he’ll ever know.

I need this, Mrs. Lim…. I just need to do this for myself.

Noticing the tone, the way he spoke, his voice, the way he looked away and hung his head lower after that, there was nothing else Mrs. Lim could do apart from wishing him the very best because Minseok deserves that. She gave him a handshake, something that crossed between a grip of strength and a soft assurance that no matter where Minseok was, if he needed help, he could go to her as well because she actually cares and as a teacher, that’s hard to find nowadays. Minseok gave a nod, a friendly hug and his bidding of goodbye a bit too soon but it’s only because he wouldn’t have a chance to do so if not now.

He took a step back, giving a bow to Mrs. Lim who bit her lower lip, holding herself together as she watched one of her best students walk out of the room, pursuing and making his dreams brighter than before.

You go, Kim Minseok.

“Minseok,” A voice called, making Minseok almost flinch as he took a few steps out of the closing door that silently sealed the gap of the interior with a click and his head glanced over his shoulder to find out where the source of calling was coming from. His eyes nearly popped out and he almost let go of all the important papers in his hands and now, he tugged them behind his back, turning around to face the person standing in front of him and there wasn’t much he could do apart from muttering a very nervous yet surprised, h-hey, Kai!

There was no beating around the bush, there was no giving him a rough hint or any sort. It was very direct.

When are you leaving?

Minseok his lips nervously, still hiding the documents behind his back, feeling his heartbeat quicken, “W-What do you mean?”

Kai shook his head, eyes staring Minseok down, don’t play dumb with me.

Minseok let out a sigh, shaking his head as well as he straightened his back and decided that, what the heck is there for him to hide? What more does he need to cover and seal up from Kai? Everything has been exposed and what’s just a little bit more?

T-This weekend… meekly.

Why didn’t you tell us? Me, Lay…? angrily.

I…I didn’t want it to be a big deal… silently.

It is a big deal, Minseok. You’re leaving the country… softer.

Silence.

And then more words.

Can we see you off, then…?

Although it took him some thinking, about a few minutes, just standing there in the hallway with many jammed up thoughts, it seems like it was working when the thoughts flow through and only one sentence came up and then it was out of Minseok’s lips.

I’d like that.

An unsatisfied cry could be heard as he stood by the door, noticing how the music grew louder, louder and louder before it dropped silent all of a silent. He took a peek through the gap from the somewhat familiar door to see that indeed, there she was. Breathless as if she’s been at it for hours, sighing as she raked a hand past her hair, groaning as she fell to the floor, lying on her back, eyes locked on the ceiling, heart in so much discomfort as her hands remained tangled in her hair before she used an arm to block her vision. It was such a contrast in just five seconds flat from the bass blasting through the speakers, sending crazy vibrations through the wooden floors but in the next, it’s like a ghost town, here.

What shocked him even more was that her voice suddenly filled his ears to make up for the silence.

Are you going to stand there all day?

He lets out a breath he never knew he was holding just to nudge the door open wider, stepping through with two silent steps and then closing it securely behind him because hey, no one should be lurking around here at this time, anyway. Well, the two of them were an exception, hopefully.

“I was waiting for an invitation,” He smirked, taking a few more steps and then he settled down on the floor as he bum slid on the smooth wooden surface as he faced her and she still had her eyes closed.

“So what’s filling up your mind now?” He prompted for an explanation but then now all he got was silence. One, three, five, ten seconds later, a soft mumbling of I don’t know what to say left her lips and he found himself feeling baffled at her lame excuse. One day you’re full of thoughts and in the next, you don’t know what to say—you amaze me, Kwan Hee Young.

He swore he heard a snarl before he swiftly dodged her knee attempting to give him a smack at his face that was so close to her, ”You can ing leave for all I—“

“No no no,” He breathed, grinning a bit because this was fun, “No need for that, your highness,”

He saw her relaxing on the floor once more, arms laying lifelessly by her sides and he shoved his hands in his pockets without a thought, his words coming out softly, plus, I’m not the kind to walk away from problems.

She raised an eyebrow and she shoved him a minor glare, did you just call me a problem?

He snorted, well, you’re not filled with rainbows and sunshine, are you?

He saw how she fell silent once more after mumbling softly true… and then her eyes were closed slowly as if she wanted to escape this world—then again, when does she never? Her chest rose up and down in a torturous pace and he didn’t know if this would be a right time to speak or not. A few minutes ticked by like nothing, more seconds of pure, dead, annoying silence took over and no one said a thing. It was just sitting in a room doing nothing, sitting ducks, really. He rested his elbows on his lap and curved his body forward, eyes still settled on her closed ones.

Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in that mind? It’s better than keeping it in.

Her eyes peeled open after much effort but she still couldn’t look at him in the eye just yet.

It’s about Minseok, isn’t it?

There was nothing left to hide, actually. She was left to nodding briefly, letting out a heavy exhale after that, he’s leaving and he’s not even going to look back.

Kai’s tone changed, brighter, he’s going to pursue his dreams… shouldn’t you be happy?

She let out another breath before sitting up, groaning a bit but she shrugged it off, I am…

But…? He guessed.

I just… She sighed.

He waited.

Then she explained.

It’s not every day your only close friend leaves and then you’re all alone again to go through a bunch of alone. It’s sickening, it’s tiring… and I’ve only got Minseok to go through this bull of a ride all this while… She blinked at him, disposing some slack off her shoulders for a while but hey, it was better than nothing—at least she got it out to someone without needing to worry Minseok about anything. She took another intake of air before she continued, it’s going to be just me when he’s gone.

He gave her a moment to just breathe, allowing the emotions to ride through before he extended and arm out and his fingers curled out to leaving with just one finger up, I can be here for you, you know, if you want me to.

Her eyes hesitantly looked at his pinky before looking away and her voice grew weaker, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

She could only process something of a smile forming on his lips and then his pinky was locked with hers as he snatched for her hand to just do that. Words of I pretty much know what I was getting myself into from the moment I asked you to be my dance partner—take it as I’m going all the way, then he got up, giving her head a rough ruffle before shifting back slowly I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t wear yourself out too much, and with his addictive laughter that sounded so cheerful, he had taken his leave with the door closing behind him on his own and she guessed that he had somewhere to be as of now since he looked like he had to rush to somewhere from the moment he got up.

She stared at her own hand, her pinky that had just laced with his before she groaned and fell back onto the floor once more.

There are too many things going on… she doesn’t know which one to sort out first.

Well, at least, for the next few days she does.