-41

Chapter Forty-One

“…it’s always too late,”

“Then don’t let it be too late,”

27th of March 2015

“Wow, I didn’t know you had so many to pack up,” She breathed out, standing by the door when he legitimately pulled out more than four boxes, revealing they were empty and he they would need to do a lot of filling that box up. He snorted and sat down on his bed once he turned around, noticing how she still stood there like a statue and he patted beside here, “Well, we could rest a bit first after all that walking before we get into business.”

Hee Young clicked her tongue, placing the stack of newspaper on the floor by the side before she made her way towards where Minseok was, rubbing her hands together while she was at it before she sat down, using her head to point at the bed on the other side of the room, “Where’s the future psychologist?”

Minseok was about to reply but when the bathroom door opened, a clearing of a throat that followed soon after that wasn’t from him, Hee Young craned her neck to see Junmyeon there with a grin, “Right here, sarcastic pup.”

Hee Young scrunched her face, eyebrows furrowed, ceases on her forehead as she turned to look at Minseok, “Did he just call me a ‘pup’?”

Minseok chuckled, easing his fingers on her forehead to prevent the wrinkles on before he breathed out, “He calls anyone anything.”

Junmyeon nodded and pointed at the boy, “This is why you’re my roomie,”

Minseok grinned and settled his hands on his lap, leaning back against the wall behind the bed as he slumped his body in a lazy manner, as if he had no spine and then his voice came out in a soft breathing of, “Not for long…”

Junmyeon’s eyes moved from Minseok’s blank look to Hee Young’s gloomy one and then around the room before he took the hint and stepped back towards the main door, “I-I’m just gonna…” He used his thumb to point of his shoulder before he almost too quickly stumbled over the stack of paper, mumbling a soft oh and sorry before actually leaving the room with a silent click.

“It’s as if he was afraid of you,” Minseok laughed, definitely remembering how Junmyeon said that he’d be in deep if Hee Young found out that he’s the one who suggested this in the first place because he knows how much Minseok means to her and not being able to graduate with Minseok by her side, someone who had graduated kindergarten, pre-school, high school… it felt like something was terribly missing—it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

“Well, if you were in my position, you’d understand that it’s not that easy to be around someone who suggested to move far away,” Hee Young mumbled under her breath, moving to lean against the wall like Minseok, slacking lazily and breathing out softly before she fiddled with her fingers on her lap nonchalantly. Minseok exhaled, closing his eyes to feel the silence taking over before his eyes opened, taking a peek at Hee Young, “We’ve talked about this… It’s m—“

“Your choice,” Hee Young cut him off too easily, turning to look at him right beside her, “I know.” She muttered under her breath, moving away to lean away, sitting up straight before she looked down to the carpet floors, her feet planted into the softness before Minseok did the same, brushing his arm with hers delicately, curiosity in his voice, “You said you’d support me in my decision…”

Hee Young carefully picked her words out in her mind, making sure she’d sound exactly the way she wanted to, saying whatever she had to, keeping Minseok in the right mood, the right mind because she can’t afford to break Minseok any more than she already has. The guilt has been changing her since, the feeling just seeping into the cracks of her heart and making her feel this uncertainty whenever she’s around him—she’s grown more conscious in her actions, paying more attention than before; it’s not that she didn’t focus around Minseok but sometimes, she oblivious to her surroundings and she’s only human.

What she couldn’t believe is that she’s been this oblivious for this long, she should’ve been shot a long time ago, if you asked her.

“I support you in this, Minseok-ah,” She mumbled softly, noticing how he was listening attentively, as if every word that left her lips would make a difference, “It’s just… it’ll take a while for me to get used to it because I’m used to seeing you every day,” She tilted her head to meet eyes with the boy, shrugging a bit, “And soon I won’t anymore,” Minseok didn’t smile because he didn’t want to but because he couldn’t. Even though he can’t have Hee Young loving him like he does for her, he had yet to realize that she loves him as a friend, a best friend, someone who will always be there for him regardless of anything in the world—he may not have her as a lover, but he has her as something more special than that, someone true to his heart…

A soulmate…

“It’ll take me some time and I know I shouldn’t be bringing up that incident in the auditorium but just because we can’t be lovers, doesn’t mean that you don’t mean the world to me,” Her thumbs flicked against one another before she admitted softly, “I know I don’t show it but you know how horrible I am in expressing my feelings because I’m so used to not showing them. I got so used to hiding them that I forget to tell someone how much they mean to me that when I do…” She found herself keeping silent for a while, her eyes looking at him with the corners and his lips were sealed in a thin line, eyes glazed with worry, something mixed with concern and there seemed to be a conflict in his heart as he battled this feeling within him—it was harder than he thought to leave.

“…it’s always too late,” She looked away, sighing as she her lips, wanting to say more but he reached over and placed a hand on her clasped hands, “Then don’t let it be too late,” Minseok muttered delicately, giving her hands a squeeze, “I know I’m not the one for you but… the one for you is right in front of you, Hee Young-ah…”

“If you’re talking about Jumyeon, I swear I’ll—“

“It’s not Junmyeon,” Minseok bit back a laugh, moving his hand away when she turned to look at him properly, eyes screaming out confusion, her face literally said I have no idea who you’re talking about. “I’m talking about Kai,”

Hee Young let out another sigh, a deeper one as she unclasped her hands, not knowing what to do with them before she clasped them once more, “Minseok, don’t even go there—“

“But you and I both know what you’re feeling for him—you just don’t want to admit that,” Minseok’s tone dipped with something that crossed against being confident in his words because what he said was true and he’s hit the bullseye. “If you keep waiting again… and running away like you have been for all this while… you’re going to end up like me.”

She turned her head to look at him, eyes boring to his soul, “Moving to another country and start afresh or seek help from a future psychologist who call whoever anything he wants?”

“Funny,” He rolled his eyes, standing up, shaking his head, “But no,”

“Alright, enough sappy talk—time to help me pack!” He chimed instead, turning the mood up to 180 degrees as he picked up a box and toss it to her, causing her to stand up hastily, catching the box in her hands before she scowled a rude and he gave her a smirk a y one, thank you very much.

“I still can’t believe you have this,” Hee Young held up the piece of polaroid, a picture of the two under a dim light, vintage-like background because of the café they were in during that time, his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her, looming over her shoulder with a cheeky grin and she had both of her eyes closed, a natural smile on her lips as her hands were holding onto a tray and a rag since she was still on her shift but Minseok was too stubborn. His eyes brightened as he snatched it away from her, lips forming a small ‘o’ shape, “It’s still here!”

She chuckled and went back to digging out other stuff from the metallic box, “Well, it’s all in here,” She shook the box, clinking all the other items in the box before allowing him to snatch it away so he could settle down on the bed, walking down to the memory lane with sealed lips, happy eyes, silent movement of his fingers as he picked up one photo after another—a smile crept onto his face before she knew it, growing wider and wider as he dug in deeper to fish out almost all the contents in the box to left smiling like an idiot as he recalled back all the fond memories that strummed his heartstrings in a warm manner as he stared at one particular photo.

She was rather reeled in, an eyebrow rose up as she looked at him from the floor, “What picture is that?”

At first he didn’t want to show her but after much thought, he flicked the picture around and show her just what he planned to hide from her seconds ago.

There she could see a young girl in the photo, about fourteen years of age with a party hat slung on her head, hands pushing her hair back along with closed eyes as she was bending down to blow off the candles of her cake, lit up to perfection with the balloons at the back as a reminder to where they were at that age. It’s like it flashed up in her mind once more, reminding her that it was during her fourteenth birthday when Minseok had thrown a party for her at a nearby restaurant without her knowing. It was just the two of them, the owner of the place and a few staff coming out to sing the song for her but it didn’t bug her that much because the important people were already there.

It was the first birthday she had spent without her father and her brother, something that Minseok remembers well as he saw that look on her face, feeling her dwell into the past memories that shouldn’t have been brought up but he couldn’t help it—he remembered how hard she cried on that day even when she shouldn’t be even frowning, he remembered how she didn’t want to accept this at first but with much persuading, he had gotten her down to not let his reservations go to a waste. Then came in Minseok’s parents to join in as well, not wanting her to feel alone because that’s the least they’d want for her to feel; as parents, they couldn’t imagine the pain she was feeling and to leave her alone on her birthday, it felt wrong; it’s like a sin. So she was thankful for this, she appreciated Minseok more than he’ll imagine and even if she doesn’t put it out to words, Minseok can feel it. He felt it.

“I remember this…” She mumbled softly, blinking up to Minseok with a small smile, “I didn’t realize how much this meant to me until now,” She gazed at the photo in her hands before looking up to him again, “Thank you, Min…”

He shook his head as he moved from the bed, down to the floor beside her, “It’s nothing…”

She knew it may be too much to ask but she did it anyway, “Can…-?”

“You can keep it,” He snorted, already knowing what the words would come out from her lips before they even did. She was left to smiling at him in gratitude, nodding once, “Thanks…”

“You’re welcome…”

She slipped the photo into her pocket as the silence fell upon them after about an hour or two of going through his things, packing them up nicely into the boxes after wrapping them with newspaper and item after item, they were nicely organized into the respective boxes with certain labels she wrote because Minseok said that it’ll make him feel more of her when he reaches there, unpacking and he’ll think of her so he wouldn’t be so homesick. The two looked at each other, noticing the mutual feeling one of the other was feeling before he placed his hand on her lap, facing up, eyes signaling something before she actually lifted her own hand to place it in his.

We have enough memories for us to look back upon whenever we miss each other—and it’ll never be too much because we’ll always be creating more no matter where we are, his voice tender, his tone mature, his heart brave.

Promise…? her voice gentle, her tone questioning, her heart wondering.

He had a smile, his pinky reaching out for hers with his other hand, locking tightly, heart determined, mindset straight, tone delicate and promising, promise.

“Wow, we really did take up half the day,” She breathed out, lying down on the floor and Minseok nodded with a huff of air that left his lungs before he said, “Yeah… it was tiring…”

Before she could say anything, she was interrupted by a creaking of the door and she already knew who it was. It seems like before she could continue again, he had spoken first, “Damn, I thought I could help,” Junmyeon breathed out, walking past all the stacked up boxes before he moved to sit down on his bed, walking around the two lying on the floor like rugs.

Hee Young rolled her eyes, “You should’ve came back two hours ago, psycho-”

Junmyeon frowned, “Hey—“

“-logist,” She finished, blinking up to him, craning her neck to meet with his unsatisfied gaze turn into an understanding one, “Saw what you did there,”

“You better or you’re one heck of a messed up—“

“Oh, messed up? How am I messed up when you’re—“

“You don’t know , Jun. It’s like you think you’re—“

“Alright,” Minseok placed a hand over Hee Young’s mouth and then used his other hand to grip onto Junmyeon’s ankle, “Both of you shut up or I’ll hurt one of you,”

The two ended up ganging up on Minseok as the two gave glares to the latter because everyone knows that Minseok can’t possibly hurt Hee Young and only Junmyeon would be the one getting the smacking.

“A-Alright… maybe not… but I’m serious! Stop trying to outdo one another,” Minseok moved his hands to his sides, relaxing when the silence took over and Minseok had added in softly, “The two of you are actually friends…”

Sure enough, Junmyeon huffed, resting his back on his mattress, “So much for coming home to hospitality.”

“If you wanted hospitality you should’ve gone back to—“ Hee Young cut herself off when she was greeted with Minseok’s attempted glare, “—your loving home where your parents would care for you with loving arms.”

“Oh please,” Junmyeon sighed, sitting up with an elbow supporting him because he just sensed the sarcasm and overly done sweet tone dripping from her words, “Don’t try to f—“ Junmyeon altered his words when Minseok tilted his chin up, nearly throwing Junmyeon off the bed with just his eyes, “—flatter me to show too much concern, dear, I’ll get home soon.”

Minseok smiled in content, sighing, “See, that wasn’t so hard…”

Hee Young rolled her eyes and shook her head, staring up the ceiling as she mumbled quietly, “Gonna smack you with love later Junmyeon,”

“The feeling is mutual,”

“Shut up, both of you,” Minseok grumbled, not believing that they’re going at it again even after what he had just said. He can only wonder how it’ll be if these two were thrown together with Jongdae as well—it couldn’t possibly end well when the last time that happened, Jongdae nearly got his tie cut into pieces, fingers about to get crushed and Junmyeon was this close to getting smack against the face to the wall or a chair or anything heavy and Hee Young… well, she was fast enough to run.

Junmyeon was engrossed into a new book he got but listened to Minseok’s words of can we go and get those things, now?

Hee Young sat up with ease, nodding as she helped him up with a hand, “Sure, we can go now.”

Junmyeon lowered his book down, eyebrow raised, “I can help—“

“It’s in my dorm,” She cooed loud enough for him to hear as she made way towards the door, causing Junmyeon to lean back in his bed once more, “Not going, then.”

Minseok snorted and waved a hand, “I’ll be back.”

“Yeah, I’ll start putting up missing posters if you’re not back in a week,”

“Bye psycho-dork,” Her voice lingered for a while and he made sure she heard his comeback of bye two left feet before Minseok closed the door behind him with an exhale, “What’s going to happen when I’m gone?”

Hee Young smirked and suggestively wiggled her eyebrows, “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him,” She walked a few steps and once Minseok let out a breath of relief, he nearly tripped over his own foot when she finished her sentence, “Not in the face, anyway,”

“Hee Young!”

“He’s not that good looking—“

“Hee Young…”

Silence and one eyebrow rose.

A sigh and rolled eyes.

“…fine.”

“This is just the same since the last time I came here,” Minseok breathed out, feeling nostalgic as he casted a glance around the whole room, stepping through the door, tapping both feet on the rug before kicking his shoes off before sitting down on the floor that was always comfortable no matter what. She closed the door and shook her head, “What do you expect? A brand new decorated room?”

He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, “It’s possible,”

“I’d rather not,” She snorted, reaching over to toss her keys on the table, removing her jacket and then throwing her bag onto the bed that clattered with a sound before the bed stopped bouncing with a creak. Minseok frowned at her back when she was digging in deep within her closet, finding for something that he wanted and he said, “You know, you should treat your stuff better—it’s going to break by the time you even get used to it.”

She looked over her shoulder for a second before diving back into pulling up the box underneath all her clothes with a soft, understandable yeah, like I actually give a .

Minseok did something with his lips, coming across a pout and a frown at the same time before shaking his head, leaning back against the bookshelf, “You’re always not listening to me,”

“Hey, I’m listening to you now,” She muttered under her breath once she turned around, a bead of sweat rolling down her temple and her hands holding onto the small box of little memories that of course consisted of fond moments in their lives when they were the same age, sharing the same moment of that ridiculous thoughts as a child but it brought back so much joy just reminiscing it through, one after another, smile after smile, recollection after the other—it gave a warm feeling just sinking into the walk down memory lane. Why is everything more meaningful when you know someone’s about to leave?

“May I?” Minseok breathed out, blinking up to her when she sat down on the bed, steps away and all she did was motion him to do so with a hand, “If I didn’t want you to open it, I wouldn’t have given it to you.”

He grinned and flicked the lid open carefully, as if it was one of the most prized possessions in the world and in fact, it is. He put the cover aside, eyes sending the delightful thoughts to his mind at the sight of almost everything that reminded him of his childhood. From the broken wishbones to the rusty coins to the worn out buttons that still held much emotions within; no one understood this apart from Minseok and Hee Young and that’s what makes it more special to Minseok.

Can I…? It was Minseok’s turn.

You can keep it.

“If you’re hungry, we should go grab something now,” Hee Young said, stretching as she had probably dozed off on her bed and Minseok shrugged, also now just waking up as he met with her gaze—he’s still on the floor, “Nah, didn’t we say we’d eat with Lay and Kai?”

She shrugged, “Don’t remember.”

He shot her a look, “It was this morning.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Maybe if I bring up the part where Lay said something about you having such lady-like manners—“

Minseok hurriedly dodged the pillow by rolling over on the floor, grinning when she glared at him when she stood up, huffing before she stormed off to the bathroom. He let out an exhale as he shook his head, standing up as well and he cringed at the pain that stung him—yep, should never sleep on the floor all the time because the aftermath’s a . He cocked his head left and right, feeling his muscles crack before he narrowed his eyes at the small box on the table and as he approached it, the box wasn’t as small as he thought it was and curiosity got the best of him.

Before he could do anything stupid, Hee Young’s voice echoed from within the bathroom, don’t even think about it, Kim Minseok.

He furrowed his eyebrows and exclaimed, you can’t even see me!

I don’t need to see you.

Ouch, Hee Young. Ouch.

Oh shut up, we’re going to get dinner now.

Minseok grinned, nodding his head, now you’re speaking my language.

But once Hee Young was out of the door, coming out from the bathroom and then out of the dorm with Minseok trailing behind her with the door falling shut, Minseok rubbed the back of his neck and said, “A-Ah! I left my jacket and I want to use the bathroom,”

She groaned and pulled her key, shoving it into his hands, I’ll be out here.

Minseok nodded and smiled apologetically, I won’t take long, promise!

And once Minseok disappeared into her room, it took him about five solid minutes before he came out, jacket on, bladder relived and something extra in his pocket that didn’t particularly belong to him.

But hey, he didn’t plan on keeping it either.