Chapter Twenty

"I hate it when he's right..."

7th of January 2015

Hee Young stretched a hand out, placing it on Minseok’s chest to prevent him from coming any further, “Don’t push it.”

Minseok pouted with his arms still left hanging, “C’mon! I’ll leave once you allow me to hug you!”

Hee Young groaned, looking over Minseok’s shoulder to see Hee Min stifling her laugh as she sat down on the bench. Minseok’s arms wiggled a bit, indicating that he’s not getting tired any minute soon and Hee Young did realize she has to meet someone out by the balcony later on. Hee Young let her hand fall to her side and as if her hand was an automatic switch, Minseok was granted the chance to lunge forward, squishing her in his arms.

Hee Young closed her eyes upon feeling how tight his grip was and Hee Min couldn’t stop smiling. Minseok was a really good person and he truly doesn’t mean any harm. If anything, he would protect Hee Young for the rest of his life, if possible. His arms managed to tighten and Hee Young wondered how the hell she was still breathing. She used a hand, lifting it up to lightly hit his arm, “Y-Yah! You’re suffocating me!”

He loosened his grip, but he remained hugging her, “You’re not hugging me back.”

She managed to nudge him off by the shoulders, huffing at him as she took heavy intakes of air. Once her lungs could function properly again, she put her hands in her hoodie pockets, “You didn’t say I must hug you back, anyway. All you said was ‘I’ll leave once you allow me to hug you!’” She even put in effort in mimicking his tone and voice properly. She used her head to point over her shoulder, “Now head back to dorm.”

He looked over his shoulder and waved at Hee Min the slightest, “Bye bye, noona!”

He faced forward, scrunching his nose at Hee Young, “You’re no fun.”

She shrugged lifelessly, “I didn’t say I was.”

He reached over, lingering a hand on the top of her head, “See you tomorrow?”

She exhaled deeply, thinking about it for a moment before she said, “Lunch?”

She noticed how he was grinning widely as if earlier on she didn’t bail on them. She noticed how he wasn’t even mad, disappointed or any sort – he was rather… good in hiding his feelings. She gave a rather curt nod, but he was used to that. “Sure.”

He ruffled her hair messily before sprinting away, “I’ll call you!”

Hee Young closed her eyes out of slight frustration, reaching up to fix her hair and Hee Min laughed quietly. “You know… that boy likes you, right?”

Hee Young opened her eyes, planting her hands into her hoodie pockets again before taking a seat on the bench, “We’re not here to talk about that.”

“Hee Young-“

“You probably want to know why… I hate mom so much.” Hee Young confessed, staring down on the green grass that looked much darker due to the lack of lights around here. Hee Min played with her fingers nervously, shifting closer to say, “Y-Young-ah… Hate is such a strong word.”

Hee Young scoffed sardonically, “Yeah, I know.” Her head turned to look at her sister, “I wish I had a stronger word.”

The both of them shared this moment of laughter, of happiness for just a few minutes. When that time was up, Hee Min instantly felt guilty. Really, she did. Hee Min reached over, placing a hand on her sister’s shoulder before saying, “I… I’m sorry. I-I should’ve asked you of how you felt first before giving a response like that and-“

“Remember that time… when you left to stay aboard in your dorm?”

Hee Min raised an eyebrow, thinking for a second as her arm went around her sister. Hee Young wasn’t a fond person of touching but with the right people, she accepted that nicely. She snuggled against her sister closer, resting her head on her shoulder and Hee Min nodded, “When I got accepted for the scholarship… I was fifteen, I think?”

Hee Young nodded slowly, noting that her sister was right and already, Hee Min felt a deep kick in her gut. Something must’ve happened during the time she was away. Hee Min was a very bright student back in her school years. She got offered a few scholarships from various schools and needless to say, she chose the best one for her to attend to. Top scholars attended that school, rich kids everywhere – they didn’t really care about the education; they wanted face – they wanted a good name from a good school. Hee Min was different; she actually studied and she relied on the scholarship there. She went through troubles of her own and… Hee Young went through troubles of her own… at her own home.

“I lied to you,” Hee Young breathed out, reaching up to play with the hand that was over her shoulder. Hee Min allowed that but at the same time, she was processing Hee Young’s words. Lie? Hee Young was definitely no liar. Whatever she likes, whatever she doesn’t like – she was honest about that.

“Whenever you asked through letters of how mom was doing…” Hee Young shook her head, “She never really got better of handling her alcohol problems.” Hee Young exhaled heavily, glancing up to look at Hee Min, “Even dad couldn’t control her sometimes.”

“H-Hee Young, Hee Joon, get to your room.”

“B-But dad-“

The older man crouched down to the ground, a hand on each of their heads, “Go to your room and lock the door. Please. Get to bed now. You have school tomorrow.”

Shards of glass were on the floor and they were followed by screaming of a woman. If Hee Young was smart enough to make up the words she was screaming, it was somewhere between… “This family is done for…!”

Of course, it was followed by an obvious slur after that – the effects of too much alcohol.

“Hee Young. Go. Take your brother.”

The younger boy looked up to his sister, with sparkling eyes. Seeing those pair of dark orbs that looked so precious, she couldn’t risk getting him hurt. Whenever their mother gets back drunk… she doesn’t remember of anything the next day. And she lets her soul, her mind, the dark side of her take over – it was possible for her to physically hurt their children without even remembering it the next day.

 Hee Young almost immediately gripped onto her brother’s hand. His hand was smaller but it gripped onto hers back instantly the moment she tugged him upstairs. As they hurried, they could hear their father’s voice shaking as he whispered, “P-Please, darling. Stop! You’re scaring our children!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“I’m your husband! Please!”

Before they could hear any more of that, Hee Young slammed the door shut, locking it before she reached over to cocoon her brother sitting in the corner. She crouched down, covering his ears – he was just too precious to let anything scar him; not at this age. Hee Young shook her head, “D-Don’t cry. T-They’ll stop sooner or later.”

The younger boy’s eyes were watery despite the darkness around them but that wasn’t what bothered them. The fact that there were screaming and glass breaking down there… it was painful to hear.

“C-Can you sleep with me, tonight?” Hee Joon whispered, his tiny hands shaking as he lapped them over his sister’s hands covering his ears. She nodded with a smile, at least, there was something to be happy about at home, “Any time you need me to, Joon.”

“But…” Hee Min could finally process it altogether, shaking her head as she blinked at her sister, “You said she was doing better at her alcohol proble-“

“I lied, alright?” Hee Young breathed out, reaching to move her sister’s arm away from her shoulder. "You think I could tell you when you already have so much to worry for?" She then placed her sister’s hand on her lap, both of Hee Young’s hands holding onto it as she stared it – she couldn’t bear to look at Hee Min as she confessed what she had done. Hee Min saw how hard her sister had a hard time in speaking that, “It’s in the past, Hee Young. You can tell me…”

Hee Young took a few deep breaths first, calming her racing heart before she said, “She got worse over the years and… even after Joon and dad’s death… she couldn’t bring herself together to take care of me properly.” Hee Min noticed how there was a tremble in Hee Young’s voice – surely… the latter could recall everything as if it all happened yesterday despite it being years ago. Hee Min reached over, gripping onto both of her younger sister’s hands, still not being able to see her eyes.

“I didn’t run away because ‘I wanted freedom’… I really did want her to change but… I couldn’t take it.”

Hee Min pulled her hands away, reaching over to tug her sister into a tight, warm embrace – the one that Hee Young needed for a very long time. Hee Min didn’t know any of this. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Hee Min ushered, noticing how her sister’s body was shaking as she held onto her closely. Hee Young’s arms couldn’t even go around her sister but it didn’t matter – Hee Min was here.

Hee Young felt as if the heavy burden on her shoulders were lifted – at least by a bit. Hee Min moved away a bit, reaching over to cup Hee Young’s cheeks gently, “We’re going through this together. No more of you going through this alone. Alright?”

And with a tear Hee Young managed to let roll down her cheeks, she nodded with her eyes closed, “Alright.”

Kai sat there, by the balcony as he pressed his back against the brick wall. His eyes peeked through the railings to see the dark night along with the beautiful city lights that acted like stars on earth. As he looked up, he could see glitter sprinkling across the sky like fairy lights – or stars, some would call them. He was just taking the time to think through everything in his mind that he didn’t even know what to think, really. He was spacing out but… at the same time he wasn’t.

He was early, here – much earlier than she is, really. He said ‘tonight’ but he didn’t specify when. Even at 11.59p.m., it would be classified as ‘tonight’ and if his senses were right he’d guess she would come around that time. He tilted his phone up, pressing on the lock button where his screen would flash up to display the time. He shook his head, putting his phone down.

8.09p.m. – he was way too early.

But there was nothing else he’d rather do than wait.

He had things to do. Like studying for his theory test, for his other minor test coming up but none of that came up to mind. All he wanted to do was sit out here in the silent night and just clear his mind entirely. The emotions he was feeling his heart, it felt like a bunch of strings tied up together and he had no way to untangle them.

He sighed, tilting his head back as he stared at the lights of the building opposite the balcony being one by one – people just got back from work, as so it seemed. As another light , he swore he had just went back through his mind of projected memories that definitely flashed up out of nowhere.

Freezing momentarily on the hallway, he furrowed his eyebrows, shoving his headphones back into his pocket before clutching onto his bag strap. He walked towards the sound until he stopped in front of a door, supposedly a dance practice room that he’s never exactly been in for a long time but it was already nearing midnight, so who would be in here at this hour? He didn’t need to unlock the door since there was a slight gap. He peeked through the space only to see a girl moving in sync with the music.

Her hair just going with the flow of the way her head moves along with the beat. Each step she made with her arms and legs complied well with the music playing. Her flexibility was enough to amaze him a little when she did a body wave with her hand trailing down from her chest up to her waistline. He gulped and was rather pulled into her dance piece as she continued to move along with the music, as if all her worries would be gone with each step she created.

As she danced, he felt as if his soul was taken away from him and was placed right beside her as she moved. His eyes followed her every move, every twist, every turn and every roll she made. He could instantly tell she was a dancer based on how well she controlled her breathing pace to make sure she didn’t run out of breath. But how come he’s never seen her before? His eyes widened when the music picked up the pace and her speed of dancing increased. She started popping and his eyes bulged - it was as if she was trying to dance her anger out, something he knows very well based on how he would do it most of the time, alone, that is.

He’s never seen a girl pop that well before but the next move made his eyes pop like saucers. She ended her popping with a smooth, well done back flip, causing him to grip on tighter onto his bag strap, anticipating more and more from this girl. When the music stopped suddenly, he was pulled back to reality to stare at her pose. Her chest rising and falling with a bead of sweat running down from her temples to her neck... her hair, sweaty from the immense dancing as she pushed it to one side to show the crook of her neck. Her lips parted as she took in deep breaths were something so interesting to watch. Kai gulped but froze when she turned around to meet with his gaze.

He blinked once, realizing that the specific incident that flashed up happened merely weeks ago. He furrowed his eyebrows as he played with his fingers, his knees propped up. He could already memorize those pair of eyes that would sometimes pop up in the middle of the day and he didn’t even know what was happening to him.

“I remember that… I swear I do…” He mumbled softly, using one of his hands to reach up to place it under his chin. His eyes closed for a moment, where another memory came up – this one was far more recent.

“All I’m saying is… I have a feeling you already like this girl but you’re trying to deny it.” Kyungsoo spoke up, eyes locked down on his iPod as he was searching for the right song to listen to. He was also trying to find a song that Kai could possibly use for his dance project as well. Kai scoffed, taking off the earphone he had on his right ear whereas Kyungsoo had the other one on his left.

“What the hell do I have to deny?”

Kyungsoo sighed, taking off his earphone as he turned to look at Kai, “I just have a feeling, alright? Whether you want to admit that or not, that’s up to you.”

Kai pointed ahead of him with a hand, just a form of gesture to follow his words, “I don’t even ing know her!”

Kyungsoo gently took the earphone from Kai’s hands before Kyungsoo shut off his iPod to roll his earphones, “Then, how much do you know her?”

He didn’t even need to look at Kai’s face as he analyzed the latter’s tone.

“Just enough.”

Kyungsoo let out a small smile, looking up to Kai, “What are her majors?”

“Why do you need to know?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, standing up from the bench as he turned around. He gave Kai a pat on the shoulder, “You see how you answer things about her? Usually, you’d give me a full explanation about everything but with her, you’re trying to hide something – as if you know everything. You’re confused, Kai. And only you can fix that.”

Kai rubbed his face with two hands, bringing himself back to reality as he groaned, “I hate it when he’s right…”