Chapter one

Nodus Tollens

Nodus Tollens: 

n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

 

Cue Rainy mood (Keep it at a low drizzle) 

 

 

Chapter one – Midnight fevers

 

 

   They lived in a world of literal constant rain. They grew up with      rain, slept with rain, lived in the rain, and loved in the rain.

   Tiffany never saw the sun.

 

   “Breakfast, shower, work, back home. Breakfast, shower, work, back home. Oh. I can’t forget school.” Tiffany clicked her tongue, letting the pen roll between her fingers as she thought. Her hands were cold and her nose was runny. She sighed. Looking outside her window she noticed the rain today was a light drizzle. Biting her lip she tried to focus on her professor talking, but all she could think about was—“Breakfast, shower, work, back home.” Whispering she felt a kick on the back of her seat.

    “Shut up will you?” Tiffany buried her head in the palms of her hands—“Freak.”

Her shaggy uncombed hair fell right over her eyes as she let a few breaths in and a few breaths out. Turning around she gave that person a smile, “Sorry.” Even though they had insulted her. The words stung, but like a thin paper cut—it wasn’t anything significant. “Always be nice to others.” Tiffany mumbled under her tongue, thinking of her mothers’ reprimanding words when she pushed her baby brother for taking the space on their bed.

How she missed them so, especially on days like this.

 

   Tiffany looked outside again. The window next to her seat gave off the coldest of chills. Schools in her district of the city were to poor and too stingy to pay for proper heating in educational buildings. She was an unlucky one. “Breakfast, shower, work, back home…” she continued to whisper, the pen rolling and rolling between her fingers. “Breakfast, shower, work, back—” the classroom door swung open and Tiffany’s pen rolled off to the side.

    “Sorry I’m late.” A young looking girl bent her back with an apologetic grumble. Her brown locks falling over her shoulders, bag sliding up her back. About to lunge forward and tumble over her head.

    “Yes Kim Taeyeon go take your seat.” Everyone had their eyes on her. Letting out soft giggles and trashy comments.

 

    “She has to sit beside that freak…”

   “Oh god pray for Kim Taeyeon…”

   “I pity her…”

 

   The time that had paused for Tiffany resumed as the pen that was gone found it’s way between her fingers once again. “Breakfast, shower, work, back home.”

Kim Taeyeon bit the inside of her cheek.

Be nice to others. Her mind nagged at her, remembering what her father used to tell her. She took heavy steps towards the only empty seat in the classroom. Overcrowded schools, with the children jammed packed in like sardines inside a square can. Suffocating and invading a person’s space even if that wasn’t their intention. 

    “Um, you mind…?” Taeyeon pointed to seat next to Tiffany.

    “Breakfast, shower, work, back home…” Tiffany scooted closer to the cold window, not having any other words to say. Taeyeon just arched her eyebrow in curiosity, slumping her bag next to the desk and settling in the creaky old seat. Class was something very hard to focus on for the two of them. Tiffany always had other things on her mind and Taeyeon fought the nerve to ask Tiffany to shut it.

    “Breakfast, shower, work, back home.” Tiffany kept on whispering that same sentence for twenty minutes straight. Taeyeon had to bite her tongue. Over and over again.  

    “Why do you keep saying that?” Finally, Taeyeon questioned. The coldness from the window never reached her.

    “Keep saying what?” Taeyeon watched in amazement as the pen rolling between Tiffany’s fingers kept up, never missing a beat.

    “Breakfast, shower, work, back home.” Taeyeon recited perfectly, her brain almost making a random song out of it. To replay and repeat when she got back home.

    “It’s a list.” Tiffany said, looking outside as the rain poured. The thought of it stopping never crossed her mind.

    “A list for what?” Taeyeon just wished Tiffany would at least look at her when conversing. It bothered her so.

    “It’s a list I keep in my head of my everyday routine. I feel that if I keep repeating it and repeating it, maybe something will change. Maybe something in that list will change.”

Taeyeon knew Tiffany was weird. But she didn’t think she was that weird. Although it seemed every word Tiffany uttered was able to somehow ebb at her equilibrium. And that bothered her even more.

    “Well has it?” Taeyeon paused, “Has it ever changed?” Tiffany turned to look at Taeyeon, her hair in her face. Everything about her was a mess.

   “No.” The pen stopped moving.

    “Nothing ever has.”

 

------

 

 

   Although the window by her seat allowed the coldness to seep through her thin sweaters. Tiffany found herself attracted to it. So every day she sat there. Rolling her pen between her fingers and reciting her list in a whisper.

But today was different.

    “Can I sit by you again?” class had yet to start, but Kim Taeyeon already knew what she wanted to do the moment she entered.

    “Can you?” Tiffany spoke softly, admiring the pen swirling and swirling. She couldn’t remember when she acquired that habit. But it stuck with her hard. Like the skin on her bones. Taeyeon shuffled in her spot, looking down at her mitten covered fists. Her worn out bag slumped beside the desk, as she lowered herself into the seat. Oddly it was warm.

    “So how was your weekend?” Taeyeon asked with a gentle smile, watching Tiffany ruffle her own hair before laying her head on the desk. Taeyeon fought hard not to cringe.

Don’t be rude when someone is different, they can’t help the way they are. Again her fathers’ words echoed in her heart.

    “My dog died.”

    “Oh… I’m really sorry about that!” Taeyeon quipped, her hand hovering over Tiffany’s back. Debating how and whether to comfort her.

Taeyeon was never good with physical contact.

Tiffany turned her head so that now she was facing Taeyeon. And Taeyeon watched as the hairs swopped downwards away from her eyes.

They were sort of soft in a way.

    “Kidding.” Tiffany whispered out as Taeyeon bit her lip in annoyance.

    “Why in the world would you joke about something like that?” Taeyeon’s voice was so sharp it could cut through hearts. Specially Tiffany’s heart. If it wasn’t made of titanium.

    “I wanted to see if you cared.” Tiffany broke out into a small smile, one that mocked Taeyeon. Her heart raced inside the bone walls of her chest as she huffed out. The fog disappearing into the air right in front of Tiffany.

    “Why wouldn’t I?” Taeyeon questioned, Tiffany turned her head back the other way, facing the window once again. The rain was pelting downward like daggers made of water. Piercing into old concrete floors and soft soaked grass.

    “Some people can be really cold. Don’t cha know?”

 

------

 

 

   Taeyeon watched the swarm of kids scatter around like busy bees, before she knew it they were gone. Rushing to go home. To hide from the fierce rain that never stopped pouring.

Taeyeon noticed Tiffany’s presence.

She stood there tall and Taeyeon could see all her youth be washed away by the heavy rain.

    “She’s freaking crazy.” Taeyeon whispered to herself, glad she was under the protection of the schools roof that stretched out over the moist pavements. Tiffany titled her head upward, with her eyes shut. Feeling the rain softly hit her face. Breathing out heavily. Maybe that’s what it looks like to be alive, Taeyeon thought. “You’re gonna get sick!” Taeyeon clutched onto her sweater, mentally wincing at the cold Tiffany must be inhabiting. Under her skin she figured she always felt the cold. That all the kids there always felt the cold. Layers and layers of jackets and sweaters protecting them like second skins. It never worked.

    “And so what if I do?” Tiffany opened her eyes, lips blue and shuddering. She stared at Taeyeon giving her an audacious look.

    “Well you could die!” Taeyeon retorted, the air was scented like war. For whatever reason she wasn’t sure of. A battle between her and this weird girl in front of her.

    “And so what if I do?” Tiffany repeated, her wet hair sticking to her face. She was paler than usual and that scared Taeyeon. Why would someone run out in the rain during the winter?

    “Stop saying that…” Tiffany couldn’t hear Taeyeon’s whispered words over the thunderous rain. All she could see was the fog evaporate quickly. She was never curious as to what had Taeyeon said.

    “Would you miss me?” As she yelled Tiffany started to walk towards her and Taeyeon’s heart peeked at the question. Finally Tiffany was in front of her, under the protection of the protruding roof. “No.” Tiffany shook her head and Taeyeon felt ten times colder. “You wouldn’t.”

    “Who’s to say I wouldn’t? I could be your secret admirer for all you know.” Taeyeon had her defenses ready, challenging Tiffany. Ready to win this battle.

    “You don’t even know me.” Tiffany smiled at her before she gathered her hair up in her balled fist giving it a good squeeze, ridding of the remaining water.

    “What if I do?” Taeyeon paused, “What if I want too.” Her eyes were failing her. Tiffany’s image was becoming hazier and hazier. She couldn’t understand why.

    “Would that make you miss me?” Tiffany questioned, peeking out from beneath her wild fringe.

    “Maybe.” Taeyeon’s soft word elicited a laugh from Tiffany.

Taeyeon never heard anything like it.

    “C’mon Kim Taeyeon.” Tiffany began to walk away back under the rain. Becoming wet once again. Taeyeon’s heart skipped a beat or two. Pulling out her umbrella she ran beside Tiffany shielding the girl of the rain.

   “You’re seriously going to get sick.” She huffed, letting Tiffany the stranger lead her away.

    “And so what if I do?” 

 

------

 

 

   The walk there was quiet, except for the humming that left Tiffany’s slightly parted lips, and of course the rain. Taeyeon’s grip tightened on the umbrella handle, she kept stealing glances as if she shouldn’t have, as if it were a crime. Look at her then look away, look at her then look away. A loop she found herself for the first time caught in.

Where is she taking me…?

They walked through empty alley ways and zig-zaged roads before Tiffany started slowing in her steps, and Taeyeon couldn’t recognize her own world anymore. The rain finally came down to an absolute drizzle, the pathway before them becoming more visible. As Taeyeon noticed they were covered in overgrown grass. Everything here was so green compared to what she’s seen and where she’s been. She was lost in a fantasy world. To which Tiffany lead her.

 

   They walked side by side up a narrow set of concrete steps. With a unique pattern of roses engraved on them. The brick walls from each side were painted a faded blue and yellow. It was definitely like Taeyeon was thrown into another world for sure. At least she felt so. The houses that were small were painted a different array of colors. But the entire placed seemed deserted. A ghost town. Where maybe once the sun touched down on the lawns, gracing the people there.

Or maybe everyone was just inside, hiding from the cold rain. Then, Tiffany halted her movements. Taeyeon had to force her legs abruptly to not continue.  There they were, standing in front of the smallest house on the narrow street. It was sandwiched between two purple colored houses but Taeyeon noticed right away that it was different from every other house there. Because unlike the other houses there, it was painted a deep dark grey. Taeyeon and Tiffany entered the shabby looking house. The door let a loud creak. It was more like a cardboard box ready to collapse at any given moment.

    “This is where you live?” Taeyeon questioned although Tiffany just quietly took off her shoes. Taeyeon followed. The wallpaper was peeling off, water stains came from the ceiling and the roof was abnormally low. Taeyeon knew right away, that Tiffany had lived alone. Somehow Taeyeon felt comfortable there. There was rolled up paper balls thrown on the floor, missing the trashcan, Empty take-out boxes scattered on a small table that was placed right in the middle. But what caught Taeyeon’s attention the most was the dead plants that rest next to a window. All in a line. There must have been twelve of them, all dead. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t come up with a reason as to why they were kept there.

 

Taeyeon sneezed.

    “.”

    “Please don’t curse.” Taeyeon looked up at Tiffany who was changed in new clothes, holding a cup of tea. Her purple knitted sweater, black sweats and her hair pulled up in a sloppy bun.

    “Why not?” Taeyeon asked as Tiffany reached out to her, touching her forehead. Taeyeon awkwardly cringed away. Her hand was cold, but the tea placed in her own was warm.

    “Because it isn’t polite to curse in a strangers’ home.” Tiffany replied with a soft mutter.

    “Oh,” Taeyeon took a sip of the tea, holding her tongue from the bitterness that swallowed her. “Sorry.” Tiffany nodded, “What’s that for?” Taeyeon pointed to a patch Tiffany held in her hands. It smelt of coconut. And oddly it made Taeyeon’s mouth water.

    “For you.” Tiffany pointed to her, sitting down in front of Taeyeon on the wood floors.

    “For me?” Taeyeon pointed to herself.

    “For your fever.”

    “What fev—” Taeyeon sneezed again. Oh the irony she thought. “I don’t have a fever.” Wiping her nose with her sleeve Taeyeon, arched her brows in stubbornness. “It’s just allergies.”

    “No it’s not.” Tiffany’s fringe fell over her eyes once again. Clutching the sides of her purple sweater Taeyeon couldn’t figure out what was going through her simplistic mind. Although it probably wasn’t simplistic at all.

    “How do you—” for the third time, Taeyeon sneezed. “Seriously.” She huffed out, feeling the thumping headache and body aches take over. “How did you know?”

    Tiffany shrugged, “Look who has the fever now. And you said I’d get one.” Taeyeon bit her lip, “But I won’t let you die. There’s no way my secret admirer is dying on my watch.” Taeyeon was utterly confused. “Although,” Tiffany held up her wristwatch, it was exactly midnight. “My watch is broken.” She paused… 

Taeyeon knew the battle she was wagging on earlier had been lost.

 

    “It’s not actually midnight, but. You’ve got a fever.”

 

------

 

 

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icarushideko
#1
Chapter 6: Wowwww amazing story
sherrymeo193 #2
I really love it. Thank you for writing a truly amazing story
13luvsfriday
#3
Chapter 6: I miss reading this
taeyeongg309 #4
Chapter 6: hello im from 2017 and i just found this and i fell in love with this and i asked myself why did this story get abandoned because its too beautiful to be abandoned
just want to say, i love it very much eventhough its too weird-just enough weird or anything weird,but im ok with it
kakuzu #5
Chapter 6: This story is strange and so weird. Not weird-weird, a good kind of weird. I like it. I do hope you didn't abandoned this fic Author-nim, it's very nice & interesting to read. Anyways, I'll always be thankful I get to read this story.
SuperMx02
#6
Chapter 6: I'm a new reader. I find this awesome. The plot, characters and their personalities. Okay, another freaking great fanfic and an author who doesn't update. Ugh, damn it, I'm so freaking curious :/
KimTY_99 #7
Chapter 6: This fic is awesome. It gives me one of those weird, odd atmosphere in a story.
But I REALLY think there's a completely different story behind this actual story. Like.. a deep meaning or something. Weird, right xDD
So, are you ever gonna update this fic? cuz if you won't, it'd be such a waste :/
HelloTFK
#8
I don't know where to begin. There are so many questions that I want to ask to you.
But I don't know if you will ever reply, or come back here.

I'm writing this comment to show you an appreciation. I really like your story, and that's saying a lot because I hate rain. I hate it with passion. To know that Tiffany & Taeyeon have to live in a world where it constantly rain.. well.. it's not..something that I would like for them.
So I guess life is just a routine before they meet each other. Now when they're together, Taeyeon doesn't feel like she mind about the rain anymore because Tiffany is her sun. Warm and making her feel alive. And that's the thing about Nodus Tollens right - bleak meaningless life - and suddenly the both of them realise that they don't have to feel that way, they can choose to be happier. It's beautiful. I don't know how many people are searching for that, the feeling of being alive, the meaning of being alive. TaeNy are lucky that they found each other.

The characters, Tiffany is one quirky girl. It made me wonder if you were also like that.
She knows what Taeyeon feels without having to have a confirmation from Taeyeon herself. Like the fever, or Taeyeon's feelings for Tiffany. It feels like Tiffany knows what Taeyeon needs and she provides for Taeyeon - emotionally. Making Taeyeon feels alive.

As for Taeyeon, I don't really know where she stands. She seems aware of her own feelings, but it doesn't look like she's aware of how much she invests into Tiffany. I absolutely adore how Taeyeon is fascinated by Tiffany's quirk, accepting her weirdness and developing a sense of adoration and eventually romantic feelings for Tiffany, treating the other woman with care.. Taeyeon is the best.

Oh how I wish you will come back and write more about this.
Thank you for sharing the story with us readers. It's very good. I enjoyed it .
salutdee
#9
Chapter 6: Hello author, i am new reader of this ff..
Your ff is really interesting and have a unique line story if i may add... makes me keep wondering what happen next ? Hmm..
And i feel strange for Tiff's family situation, her parent was just gone ?
I hope tae tiff and soo can get along...
And i hope too that you will still continue this ff so please make an update author :))
Well, have a nice day to you^^
ThinkOfMe
#10
Chapter 6: This is the best fic I have ever read.