C h a p t e r  3

The next morning started way more cheerful and relaxed than the previous one.     
Tenseness and anxiety had left Eunhyuk's body and on top of that he had been able to finally sleep the whole night. To see Donghae sleeping that peacefully beside him had calmed him down and he had spent hours with just lying next to him and enjoying his presence before he had returned to the other members. Since that moment, a small and soft smile stuck to his lips that even Yesung's gabbling about stag beetles couldn’t make disappear.

They sat in the kitchen and were having breakfast; Kyuhyun was playing one of his games again and barely managed to eat in the meantime, Siwon and Kangin were laughing their asses off about some TV show they had watched the night before, Heechul checked for the nth time if his hair was good and Ryeowook now and then made a disgusted face when he heard some of Yesung's talking while bringing food to the table. Leeteuk was just sitting in between all of them, shaking his head slightly and most likely asking himself whether these people surrounding him were actually grown men or not.          
Eunhyuk grinned. It was this moment that made him realize how much he had missed them.

Soft noises could be heard from the second floor and Eunhyuk turned his head to look to the side as he heard someone coming down the stairs. His smile broadened for a moment when he saw Donghae, but it disappeared immediately as he realized the condition the other was in.  
Donghae's eyes were big and nervously darted over the floor, clearly searching for something. He frequently ran his hand over his nape in a tensed manner, glanced around and seemed rather lost. For a moment it even seemed like he didn’t know where he was before Donghae headed for the kitchen table with insecure steps and was greeted with cheerful words from the members.

"H-hyung", he started while impatiently playing with his fingers, not caring about greeting them at all. "Do you- Do you know where my bag is?"

Leeteuk looked up to him and seemed to notice Donghae's condition just as fast as Eunhyuk did. "No, but if it isn’t here, I guess it's still in the car. Why, do you need it that badly?" he asked warily.

A tiny smile flashed over Donghae's face before he quickly shook his head. "No, I… I just wanted to know where it is."

"Good. Since you know that now, you can come and sit with us to eat something. I haven't seen you eating since you're back", Leeteuk said and patted the empty chair beside him. Donghae hesitantly looked up to the chair, but as he saw that Eunhyuk would be the one sitting on his other side, his eyes widened in shock.

"I-I'm… not hungry, hyung", he stuttered and took a step back. "I'll go and get ready-"

"Nothing doing. Come here and sit down. Ryeowook cooked breakfast for us and don't even try to tell me that you haven't missed his cooking. Siwon visits us every morning just to get it", Leeteuk said and already pulled back the chair while Siwon nodded his approval.

But Donghae kept standing there like he was rooted to the ground, his eyes staring from Leeteuk to the chair and back. He tightly clutched his hands that were shaking conspicuously and shook his head. "Hyung-"

"Sit down", Leeteuk commanded and after sending the younger a stern glance, Donghae finally moved towards the table. As he put his hand on the chair back, he darted a glance at Eunhyuk and that short glance was enough to bring all of the latter's worries back.

There it was; the fear Heechul and Leeteuk had been talking about.

Donghae's eyes were open wide, the trembling of his hands got stronger and his whole body literally screamed that he wanted to run away. As he sat down beside him, Donghae shifted around on his chair until he was sitting as far away from Eunhyuk as he could and his eyes were staring at the table so he didn’t have to look at him for a second. The talking of the others got more silent and they darted wary glances at Donghae who was acting more than strange.

Eunhyuk bit his lip and tried to stop his heart from pounding painfully against his ribcage.     
So Donghae was afraid of him after all. But why, why now? The day before he hadn’t been avoiding him, he had even wanted him to come to him and cuddle. It all had come from Donghae so why was he acting like this now?

He noticed Donghae's trembling hands that he was still clutching tightly. And as Eunhyuk looked at Donghae's face, it expressed so much tension that it reminded him of that one night back in Lee Soo Man's office. The other's legs were fidgeting nervously and his body was all tense; with his short black hair and the pale face he even looked like he was sick.             
Without thinking Eunhyuk reached out his hand and placed it on top of the other's shaking ones. He only felt how unusually warm they were before Donghae flinched and jerked them away, causing all talking come to an end.

"Don’t touch me", the younger hissed with notably quivering in his voice and tried to hide half of his face behind his shaking hands. His body was jerking occasionally and his breathing heavy without him doing much.

"Donghae?" Leeteuk asked with concern and carefully tried to place a hand on the younger's shoulder. Donghae flinched again but not as badly as before. "What's wrong?"

Donghae's eyes darted over the table without looking at one of them for a second. He didn’t see how their gazes were filled with worry and he also didn’t see the hurt gaze Eunhyuk was sending him. His mouth stayed sealed, though. Not a single word was leaving it.

"Don't you feel well?" Siwon was the one asking now, sitting opposite from Donghae. All of them could see how the latter brought his hand to his arm and how he clawed his fingers into the crook of it suddenly. Yet he didn’t give an answer.

"Do you want to eat something, hyung?"

"No!" Donghae screamed suddenly and knocked a bowl of rice out of a dumbfounded Ryeowook's hand. He glared at him, all of them, only for a moment. "Stop asking me, just leave me alone!"

He had jumped to his feet and stormed out of the kitchen before one of them even had the chance to understand what was happening. They all looked after him in silence until they heard the loud bang of Donghae's door; no one dared to say a word. Ryeowook started to collect the shards from the floor after a while and as Yesung stood up to help him, Eunhyuk could feel the gazes of the other members landing on him.

"I'll go and pack my bag for practice", he said without looking up and left the kitchen with fast steps. 'Please don't ask questions', he thought while trying to suppress the tears welling up in his eyes. Don't ask questions I can't answer.

***

The door of the practice room burst open and two of their managers stepped in. The members stopped their warm-up exercises to greet them with a quick bow, but didn’t get any reply.

"Where's Donghae?" one of them only asked after looking through the room with swift gazes.

"He went to the restroom", Leeteuk answered calmly and this seemed to soothe the managers as well. In contrast to that Eunhyuk was still tensed up.

Right after they had arrived, Donghae had headed for the restroom with the bag he had been looking for earlier. This had been about ten minutes ago and even though that wasn’t much time, it made Eunhyuk kind of nervous.        
He didn’t want Donghae to act like he had during breakfast. This sudden outburst of anger was something he didn’t recognize; Donghae usually was a peaceable person and he hated fighting with the other members. Eunhyuk couldn’t even remember seeing Donghae that furious, let alone about something like this. On the one hand he was glad that this anger had disappeared by the time Donghae had left his room some time later, but instead of the anger there had been this fear in his eyes again. He had avoided Eunhyuk as much as he could, hadn’t dared to look him in the eyes and left as much space between them as possible. Eunhyuk knew that this was exactly what S.M. wanted them to do, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle it if it would continue like that.