3 months later. (December 15th)
I remembered the day being cold, my nose was getting red, and i couldn't possibly breathe, also not being able to feel my hands. I turned on the heater and sat on the floor, tired from the day. I glanced at the clock, it was already 8 p.m. Taeyeon wouldn't talk to me after what happened. I remembered exactly how it went that night. After seeing Nichkkhun at Sungmin's engagement party, i threw up on his brand new shoes and ran away. I always run away. I feel idiotic for doing so but i couldn't help it.
Nichkhun kept on calling me and texting me and e-mailing me but it was already too late. I wasn't going to go back to him just because he came back for me. He stopped calling me after 3 weeks. It made me realize how easy it was for him to move on and let me go. It made me hate him even more to know that he stopped trying to chase after me just because i ignored him a little. He gave up on me just like that. I'm sure he's happy now with Victoria anyway.
And Taecyeon kept me company for 3 months when no one was. Not even Taeyeon. Sunny tried to be, but she was too busy with her wedding plans. I insisted that i was okay and she shouldn't worry, so she didn't.
Unlike Nichkhun, Kyuhyun still called Taeyeon even after 3 months. He'd still call, everyday. Eventhough Taeyeon ignored him, i know she looked forward to the phone ringing everyday because she knew it would be him. She looks forward to it and wanted to answer it, but her ego told her not to.
Speak of the devil.
"Hello? Tiffany's speaking, who is this?" I asked, even if i knew it was Kyuhyun.
"Taeyeon still won't talk to me?"
"She won't talk to me either." I sighed. "it's all YOUR FAULT!" i yelled.
"Don't scream at me... I know it's my fault... Anyway... it's 4 years anniversary of Wooyoung's death tomorrow.... i still miss him." He said, voice softened and suddenly shaky. He sobbed a little. "He's like my brother. You should know whatever i did, was because of how much he means to me. I didn't mean for Taeyeon to get heartbroken. I don't expect you to believe me or forgive me, but i do love Taeyeon..."
"I do forgive you. I'm hoping Taeyeon would, too." I said, sincerely
"Before i hang up, tell Taeyeon to look outside the window."
We hung up the phone a minute after, and Taeyeon came into the room, fresh after shower, with her bathrobe on, drying her hair with a towel and faked a yawn. "Who was it?" she asked lazily, knowing exactly who it was but pretended not to.
"Why did it call?"
"It called to apologize, and told me that it's 4 years anniversary of Wooyoung's death tomorrow."
Taeyeon stopped whatever she was doing and stared at me. Her eyes glaring at a partof my face, and then broke into a fake smile. "Like i care. We were over, right?"
"Yeah, of course it didn't matter... I mean, even if he killed himself for you." I said sarcastically. "Anyway, Kyuhyun asked you to look outside the window."
Taeyeon was silenced, and she walked away.
I went to my laptop to finish of my work, when suddenly;
To : Tiffany , Hwang ([email protected])
From : Taecyeon , Ok ([email protected])
Subject : Wedding
Hello, Tiffany. I wanted to text you but apparently i couldn't. So anyway, the reason for this e-mail is to tell you i have already got the tickets back to Florida. It's Victoria's and David's wedding next week. Yes, they're back together again. They wanted to send you an invitation but they didn't have your Korean address, so they asked me to pass on the message because Nichkhun wouldn't do it. So will you come? And I need to see you. Tomorrow, maybe? Please reply as soon as you can.
I stared at the screen for 10 minutes, tryingto absorb everything. Every single letter. I bit my lips and tried to draft a reply message in my head before writing it on the keypad. What was i going to say? Was there anything i am supposed to say?
So i just wrote "Will do. Tomorrow, the same place same time."
Kyuhyun called again tonight and i wonder if he will ever stop calling. What if he does? What do i live for anymore? I tried to remember what Tiffany had told me. She told me to look outside, so i did. After changing my clothes to my PJs, which was a blank white t-shirt and teddy bear shorts (Even if it was cold, i rather enjoy it), i took a few steps towards the window next to my bed. I knew why he asked me to look outside. It was snowing. It wasn't a lot, just drops of snowflakes. It was beautiful. Kyuhyun always called me his little snowflake because i was different, and my fair skin reminded him of snow. He also told me i have cold hands. Wait, i don't remember if it was Kyuhyun that called me that, or Wooyoung... damn, i'm getting confused with Wooyoung and Kyuhyun.
I knew Tiffany was already in her room, because i could hear her tapping loudly on the keypad, so i took the car keys and slowly went outside to the car, hoping she won't find out... i was going to the grave, of Wooyoung.
It was already 11:30, it was dark and i was scared, but i know Wooyoung would be there, so i stopped being scared, and i became sad instead. What am i going to say? I didn't even bring flowers or wear any formal black clothes. I just wore a huge jacket over my shorts and shirts. It was damn cold, hell yes, but it was worth it.
After parking the car next to graveyard, i searched for his tombstone. It was hard since it was dark at first, but then there came a man with a huge woolly hat and a big jacket. "Yaaa~ Darling, what are you doing here alone!?" The man said, which shocked me at first.
"Wh-who are you? Leave me alone!" I said, trying to sound as tough as i could, but my voice cracked half way. The man sniggered and came closer to me.
"Don't worry lady, it's only you and me now! It's only you and me~~" The man smiled broadly.
"I don't think so." Another man came from behind him. It was a tall figure, i couldn't see who it was at first, but from his soft manly voice, i know it was Kyuhyun. I didn't know what to do, so i didn't say anything.
"Who are you?" The man asked Kyuhyun.
"I'm with her, and I'm also a black belt taekwondo fighter, so you better back off."
The man followed Kyuhyun's "request" and went away. Half of me wanted the man to stay because i didn't want to be alone with Kyuhyun. It was scarier being alone with Kyuhyun than with the scary man.
"I-i didn't need your help. I was going to punch that guy in the face anyway." I said, sounding tough and strong. But, Kyuhyun instead of being convinced, came towards me and gave me a tight hug.
"You could have died... or been raped or something!" Kyuhyun said protectively.
"I told you, i GOT HIM. And let me go, will you?" I stubbornly said, trying to get his arms off of me.
"Why would you care anyway?"
"I do care. Because i love you."
"Yeah, right" I rolled my eyes.
"Remember? i told the whole world that i love you."
I didn't know what to believe anymore. His voice was so soothing and calming and so convincing. His eyes are bright. "You lied to me." I said very slowly, barely audible.
"I did. Okay? I admit, that i did. But everything's changed now. You have to believe me." He said, taking my hand. And this time, i didn't try to let go.
"How can i believe you after you lied to me?"
"I'll prove it to you. Give me a second chance."
"Your hands are cold."
"It's snowing, so of course."
"Why aren't you wearing gloves or scarf? What are you doing here alone in the graveyard?"
"I didn't have time. I sneaked out here without Tiffany knowing. I wasn't expecting to meet you here."
"Funny how Wooyoung always brings us together, huh?"
Kyuhyun led me to Wooyoung's tombstone, and i kneeled down, already teary. "Kyuhyun... can you let me be with Wooyoung alone for one second? I need to talk to him."
"Sure." Kyuhyun took a few steps back, even if he could still hear me, i didn't mind as long as he wasn't beside me, seeing me cry.
"Wooyoung ah." I began saying. "YOU BABO. Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to yourself? I'm not worth it. I never was.... that was the reason why i even broke up with you. I thought that I could never love you the way you loved me. I thought I would never make you happy. I was a bad person. Wooyoung, why won't you tell me? Why didn't you come to me and say everything that's in your mind? In your heart? I would have changed my mind.... Why did you have to suffer all by yourself? You stupid fool." I cried so hard that i could barely breathe. "Are you well up there? Are you eating well? You liked to eat a lot. Wooyoung, your friend... kyuhyun had been nice to me, but he lied to me because of you. he's as stupid as you."
Kyuhyun faked a cough.
I continued, "I'll always love you. You never left me, wooyoung. Through years and years, you never left me. You're here with me, through Kyuhyun, I don't know.... Maybe not even through Kyuhyun. Maybe you're here because you are. Wooyoung, live on... live on forever."
Kyuhyun came to me, took out a handkerchief and wiped my tears. Took his scarf, wrap it around my neck and placed his gloves on my hand. He then gave me another hug and let me cry without stopping. "Let it all out. You've kept it inside you for so long. You've been strong for so long... I told you i'll always be there when you want to cry, and i am. Don't stop crying until you're done. I have all night."
(The next day , meeting Taecyeon)
"Why did you want to meet me?"
"Here's your ticket and your invitation card."
"I know what happened between Nichkhun and you."
"So? Nothing's going on."
"Do you like him?"
"Are you sure?"
"Does he like you?"
"I don't know, ask him. Probably not."
"What about us?"
"What about it?"
"Do... do you like me?"
"I used to. I don't know about now."
"What changed your mind?"
"I don't know."
"Is it Nichkhun?"
"I-i don't know."
"You don't like me anymore, right?"
"I don't know."
"Wanna find out?"
He pulled me in for a kiss.
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