For the past eight years, or so, they’ve been waiting and waiting for an opportunity to fly by. Many times have they gotten a chance to make it happen, but many of those times they were too busy to pick up the call. And when the time actually comes, they thought everything would go by perfectly, as planned.

Well, at least, Oh Sehun did.

He’d always said he wanted a winter wedding--Lee Donghae, his boyfriend, did. Since after their fifth year anniversary, and Donghae’s 25th birthday, he’d been constantly talking about a beautiful winter wedding. For one, everyone of their friends were on their ways to get married. Kyuhyun and Baekhyun, Hyukjae and Luhan, so and so on; they’ve all started their own family. The newest one, which was very recent, was Kris and Sungmin. They had a summer wedding on a beach; they also have two kids. Yes, that --Sungmin--was pregnant before marriage. Not much of a surprise though; we all kind of expected that to happen.

Point is, Donghae’s jealous, and Sehun just had no way to resist that puppy eyes of his. It took him long enough though. Three years was long enough for him to finally settle down and propose to the love of his life. At the same time, three years was long enough to turn a specific notch in Donghae’s heart.

Outside of the church, the wedding bells were ringing, and the snow fell from the cloudy sky. He remembered something as he stood there, at the end of the aisle, watching as Donghae held onto his father’s arm in a white tuxedo. “Clouds are special, because they cry when someone dies. When someone so dear, someone who was loved. An angel.”, Sungmin used to tell everyone that, back in elementary school when all of them had sleepovers together. Donghae had always been scared of the thunder since he was young; he’d always despised the pits and pats of the rain. Scientifically, however, snows are practically frozen rains. Then, what’s the difference when it comes down to a winter wedding, when the bride himself didn’t like the rain? Frozen rain, that is.

“Snows and rains are different,” Sungmin then whispered again. Most of them were asleep, and the only ones awake were Kyuhyun, himself, Sungmin, Donghae, and Chen (who ended up marrying a close friend of his, Xiumin). “They fall to show that the person will be okay. They fall, to let the world know that a new angel was born.”

It snowed on the day Sandeul, Sungmin’s first child, was born.

The organs started to play a song, that in his opinion, sounded much more like death march than the melodies of two people coming together in the name of love. Due to the wind, the church door opened slightly, letting the cold air slip in, and Donghae’s brown hair flew with it. Sehun smiled, reaching over to grab his soon-to-be wife’s hands. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and Donghae only lifted a faint smile.

“We are here today, in the presence of family and friends, to share with Oh Sehun and Lee Donghae, the most important moment in their lives. The step which you are about to take is the most important into which human beings can come. It is a union of two people founded upon mutual respect and affection.Your lives will change, your responsibilities will increase, but your joy will be multiple if you are sincere and earnest with your pledge to one another.”

Sehun saw Donghae take a deep breath as soon as the priest paused. He gripped on the older’s hand slightly, and flashed him a reassuring smile. At the corner of his eyes, the snow had already completely turned the ground white, and Sungmin was holding in his squeals from the front seats. Kyuhyun sat next to him, deadpanning at his childish reactions. Sometimes he wondered why it wasn’t Kyuhyun and Sungmin who ended up together.

“Mr. Oh Sehun,” The priest said, smiling as he turned to Sehun, a ring handed over carefully. Sehun took it, and chuckled beneath his breath. “Do you accept Lee Donghae, to be your wedded wife; to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, for as long as you both shall live?”

Without hesitation, he said, “I do”, and slipped the ring onto Donghae’s ring finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.” Sungmin finally squealed and clapped, earning quiet laughters from here and there, including their parents--and Heechul--when did he get here?.

“Mr. Lee Donghae,” His hands tensed. Sehun was a bit worried, and somewhere at the back of his heart, his fingers were crossed. For what reasons, he didn’t know. “Do you accept Oh Sehun, to be your wedded husband, to have and hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward?”

There was a long pause.

“I…” Donghae stuttered. The crowd stayed silent; even Sungmin didn’t speak a word.

“I can’t. I’m...I’m sorry.”

As if his world had stopped spinning, his breath hitched, and the ring on Donghae’s hand fell onto the floor with a couple clink. Those clinks echoed in his mind, and with every echo, his heart was smashed to pieces. Donghae’s eyes were swollen red, and tears were falling out from them. Without another word, he back away and ran back down the aisle, out the door, and disappeared into the snow. Everyone stayed silent. No one moved a muscle, and soon, Sehun knees gave out onto the floor. He stared at the endless white outside of the large double doors that rose higher than twenty-feet. His eyes counted one by one, the drops of snow that fell onto the marbled steps. If only had he been more caring. If only he didn’t take so long. If only he picked up the phone on the first time that love called.

If only he had loved Donghae as much as he did to him, before giving up.

And now that he’s gone...he’d just realized that he’d lost the most precious gem in his life.
He was lost.

Winter of 1990

“Are you lost?” A boy, around the age of 3-4 asked the brunette boy who stood in the snow, crying. He’d never seen this boy before, but judging by the same school uniform, they went to the same school. Maybe he’s new? The boy turned to him, and slowly shook his head. The floor was white, and every single step he took towards the stranger, he left small footprints on the road. Gently, he stepped next to the shorter and raised his umbrella on the both of them. “Then why are you crying?” He asked.

“I don’t know where my mother went…”

“That means you’re lost.”

“What does lost mean?”

“It means when you can’t find a way. You don’t know where you are, and you don’t know where to go; you’re lost.”

“...Then I’m lost.”

“What’s your name?”

“Lee Donghae.”

“Well, Donghae, I’m Oh Sehun. We’ll find you a way home, alright? Everything’s gonna be alright.”

“Are you lost, too, Sehun?”

“No...but you are.”