Baekhyun found that he was unable to get himself out of bed the next morning, following the night when he'd broke. Tonight was another night, and Baekhyun was nowhere near getting over the previous' night's deed. He wondered how he was going to survive tonight's. His alarm finally rang after what seemed like hours filled with thoughts on nothing but his degraded self, and the urge to stay in the comforts of his sea of blankets was strong, but not as compelling as the need to see his son to school. Eventually Baekhyun does get up when he hears the shower running in the other bathroom, indicating that his son was getting ready himself.

Cereal and orange juice was ready for Jongin when he made his way down to the kitchen, hair still damp from his shower. He stopped short at the archway, however, when he saw his father leaning over the counter with his face buried in his hands. If he didn't know better, he would say his father was troubled. Instead of making his presence known through a greeting, though, Jongin decided to tiptoe over to where Baekhyun was and promptly wounded his shorter arms around the frame of his father's waist, startling Baekhyun slightly.

"Good morning, Jonginnie," Baekhyun greeted with a smile in his voice, instantly cheering up at his son's sweet gesture. Baekhyun felt a nod in his back as Jongin burrowed deeper into Baekhyun's back. He allowed them to stay as they were for a moment before tugging on Jongin's arm and turning around to face his son.

"I love you, daddy," Jongin murmured when Baekhyun looked down into his eyes.

"What's with the sudden declaration of love?" Baekhyun asked, amused. 

"I just wanted to let you know." Jongin flashed a bright smile that reminded Baekhyun of how much of a sunshine Jongin used to be in his life. Though his smiles became a rare occurence as he grew older, these days, Baekhyun finds that Jongin has been putting in considerable effort in cheering him up and it is all the motivation Baekhyun needs to push forward with his plans.

"If you're trying to talk me into getting you that new guitar--"

"--Daddy!" Jongin wailed sheepishly, "I'm not~"

"I know, I know," Baekhyun chuckled as he swooped in for a quick kiss on his son's cheek. When he pulled back, he instantly froze at the realization of his actions, and immediately used a hand to rub at Jongin's face. Fortunately Jongin thought nothing of it. They settled at the table for breakfast, with Jongin going through a verbal once over of his schedule to Baekhyun. During one of the pauses in between their conversations, Jongin finally found the courage to ask a question that's been bothering him.

"Daddy, why are you so sad lately? Is it because Sehunnie doesn't want to come home? Is it because of appa?" Jongin asked. For a 12-year-old, Jongin was being pretty tactful despite the bluntness of his questions. Baekhyun took a moment to ponder over the right answer, feigning his contemplation with a long sip of his coffee. He finally lifted his gaze to meet his son's curious one when he set his mug down.

"I'm not sad, Jongin. I'm just... I've just got a lot on my mind. The process of a divorce usually require a lot of things to be settled, so that's what I'm thinking about," Baekhyun explained through a white lie, effectively dodging the real reason behind his despondent mood in the past few weeks.

"Then you and appa shouldn't even get a divorce in the first place, if it causes so much trouble," Jongin mumbled quietly, scooping the last of his soggy concoction into his spoon but not really eating it.

Baekhyun sighed. Here they were again, always on the topic of his divorce with Chanyeol. This time, though, before Baekhyun could even let his brain form an acceptable response, the words slip from his mouth, "Your appa doesn't love me anymore. It won't be right to keep someone with you if they don't love you anymore, right?"

"How do you know appa doesn't love you anymore? Did he tell that to you?" Jongin asked in an argumentative tone.

Baekhyun took a deep breath as he said, "Because I can see it in his eyes. That's just how it is, Jongin."

+++

 "How was work?" Yixing asked as he took a bite of his pasta. He'd called Baekhyun down for lunch to discuss matters concerning the divorce, but really, it was just an excuse for Yixing to try and talk his friend out of his plans yet again.

"It's fine," Baekhyun said through the mild gritting of his teeth. He should have known the lawyer's true intentions of getting him to agree to this lunch meeting.

"Has Chanyeol signed the papers?" Baekhyun tried to direct the subject back to the intial reason for their consultation. 

"Not yet."

"Well, why not?" Baekhyun demanded. He had signed his own weeks ago and was just waiting for Chanyeol to fulfil his end so they could arrange a date for the proceedings but Chanyeol was probably just prolonging it so he could better prepare himself, Baekhyun thought.

"He needs to discuss things with you before anything else," Yixing explained, careful not to give anything away. He was their --Baekhyun's, technically -- lawyer and friend but in such personal affairs, he knew he had no right or say in anything. He figured it was best Chanyeol came clean about a certain someone himself. "So, do you have another shift today?"

"Yeah." Baekhyun gave a curt reply. He shoved a mushroom into his mouth, trying to avoid the topic once more.

"Jongin told me you looked troubled today," Yixing said conversationally after a long pause.

Baekhyun finally looked up at the Chinese male and grumbled, "Jongin is such a tattletale."

"Well, he's your son," Yixing laughed. He turned serious once again almost immediately. Baekhyun thinks maybe it's a lawyer thing.

"He hasn't had a decent conversation with his father for weeks. I think he just needs someone to tell things to, you know. An adult who knows of the situation at home. Besides, he's just concerned for you," Yixing reasoned as he took a sip of his iced tea. "As I am."

For the longest moment, Yixing stared hard into the other's eyes.

+++

"Sehunnie, your favourite person is here," Chanyeol called out to his son who was watching tv. The boy broke out into a grin at the mention of favourite person as he jumped off the couch and ran to the front door where Jongdae was toeing his shoes off, a plastic in one of his hands. Sehun wasted no time in jumping onto the man's leg and clung to him like a koala, giggling when Jongdae pretended to be a raging monster so the kid would get off him. 

When they're finally done playing, Chanyeol peeled his son off his boyfriend and propped him on the side of his hip, eyeing the plastic.

"I brought dinner. Fried chicken for Sehunnie," Jongdae replied the unasked question, waving the container in front of them. Sehun shrieked in glee as he clapped his hands in excitement. Chanyeol, on the other hand, wasn't too pleased.

"I've told you, Sehun can't have chicken. He gets a sore throat too easily," Chanyeol chided with a frown as they gathered around the dining table. 

Jongdae tutted. "It's fine, it's only for today. Besides, look at Sehun. He looks so happy at the mention of chicken."

"Baekhyun will kill me if he finds out," Chanyeol muttered under his breath. He thought it went unnoticed by his boyfriend but apparently he thought wrong. A frown had creased into his forehead as he glared at Chanyeol.

"Yah, why must we talk about him while we're having our family time?" Jongdae snapped, annoyed. 

"It's true. Baekhyun will flip. He never lets Sehun have anything fried," Chanyeol countered, suddenly defensive. "The last time Sehun indulged in fried food, we spent hours at the hospital worrying over a bad cough. Baekhyun gets sensitive whenever any of the kids are sick. It's not pleasant to see him fretting over them."

"Why do you sound like you're concerned for him?" Jongdae raised his voice, his anger now bubbling inside. Sehun dropped his chicken onto the plate and stared at the two arguing adults in front of him, eyes wide with fear.

"Because I am, okay? Can't I be concerned for my ex-husband, Dae?" Chanyeol didn't know where that came from but the words had slipped before he even had the chance to stop them, and then Jongdae's eyes glazed over in hurt as they started to water.

"Well if you're still so concern for him then maybe you should go the back to him, Chanyeol." Jongdae jumped to his feet. Chanyeol caught the tear that left his eyes but he was out the door even before Chanyeol could apologize for making the other cry. Chanyeol let out a frustrated cry and dropped his head in his hands, letting everything that had happened so quickly sink in. The only thing that brought him back to reality was a sudden scream that made him snap up to look at his son who had burst into tears.

"S-Sehunnie, what's wrong?" 

But the child continued to wail, his hands flying everywhere as he kicked at the table in front of him. It took Chanyeol a while to know that his son was throwing a fit because he had just witnessed an argument. Sehun hates arguments. He hates it when adults scream and get angry at each other in front of him. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had never really argued much in front of him because they knew just how difficult it was to get him to stop if he erupted into one of those fits. And the only thing that would ever work was Baekhyun's singing and humming as he rocked the child to sleep. Chanyeol tried his best to soothe the screaming child but all his reprimanding, singing and cooing just fell on deaf ears. In fact, Sehun got progressively louder and wilder, to the point that drove Chanyeol over the wall, feeling as helpless as how Baekhyun had probably felt back at the hospital a few weeks ago.

That's when Chanyeol realized he needed Baekhyun.

+++

Baekhyun stared at himself in the full-length mirror. He had dreaded it all day, busying himself with all sorts of errands just so he could forget what he would have to do that night, but now that it's almost time again, ugly voices in his head make their grand appearance. He leaned in and adjusted his eyeliner with a finger just as Jongin walked into the room.  

"Daddy, why do you have make up on?" Jongin innocently questioned as he flopped onto his father's bed.

"It's for my job, Jonginnie," Baekhyun said after awhile, telling the truth instead of a lie he couldn't come up with. Jongin frowned.

"Why do you have to look so good?"

"Because it's my job, Jongin."

"Why?"

"People like pretty men. Don't you think I look good?" Baekhyun turned around with a small smile. He was decked in the tightest leather pants that showed off the shape of his legs and his assets -- according to Kris -- and the plunging neckline of his shirt allowed him to flaunt the collarbones he so desperately wanted to hide.

"Daddy, nobody is as handsome as you. Even appa loses to you." Jongin beamed as he said so, causing Baekhyun to feel a little better about himself and what he was going to do.

"Come here and give me a kiss before I have to go." Baekhyun held his arms out, and Jongin wasted no time in running into them before giving his father one of the biggest kiss on the cheek.

"I hope you have a good time, daddy." Jongin wished. That was all Baekhyun needed to let his feet take him to the awful place.

+++

"Sehun, it's okay. We're here now. See? We're back at daddy's place. Daddy's going to calm you down, okay?" Chanyeol cried in exasperation despite the calmness in his choice of words, struggling to keep himself composed as he battled with the boy's cries. He rang the doorbell incessantly, getting impatient at Baekhyun's tardiness at opening the door. Sehun thrashed violently in his hold, scratching repeatedly at his arms that were already littered with countless of red marks all courtesy of a hysterical Sehun. 

"Baekhyun will you please open the ing door!" Chanyeol bellowed when Sehun slipped from his arms, falling to the ground with a horrifying dull thud. He got on his knees to check for any damage, which happened to be a rapidly forming bruise on his wrist and a cut along his forearm where he'd broke his fall. By then, Sehun's screaming was off the scale and Chanyeol had a fleeting thought about how he had practically awoken the whole neighbourhood. He just prayed nobody was going to think it was child abuse and report it to the police. With a huge effort, Chanyeol lifted his youngest up by under the arms and kicked at the door with his foot, making quite a ruckus in hopes that Baekhyun would quit taking his own ing sweet time and--

"Open the damn door, Baekhyun! Your son is hysterical!"

"...Appa?" A small voice called with the opening of the huge oak door. Chanyeol looked up to see his other son peering at him through the crack of the door. Questions came later because now he needed to bring Sehun inside. Jongin was quick to move aside to let his father carry his brother in, shutting the door behind him and hurrying over to the sofa where Sehun was now sitting, rocking himself back and forth on his heel.

"Where's daddy?" Chanyeol urgently asked as he looked to his son.

"He's working," Jongin said. "Why's Sehunnie crying? Did you make him cry?"

"Do you have daddy's work address?" Chanyeol ignored his question. Jongin nodded hastily and ran to the fridge where Baekhyun had stuck a sticky note with his work's telephone and address in case of an emergency. Chanyeol grabbed the sticky note and hauled Sehun over his shoulder, glad that Sehun was in that brief stage where he went quiet to take a break from his outburst. 

"I need to bring Sehunnie to daddy. Call me if you need anything, alright?" Chanyeol gave Jongin a quick kiss to his head before he left.

Chanyeol hadn't noticed anything amiss as he was driving to Baekhyun's workplace. Despite the short bliss of quiet in the car, Sehun having fallen asleep in the passenger's seat, Chanyeol's thoughts were a hurricane, to say the least. He knew it was only a matter of time till Sehun awoke and the tiring process of screaming and thrashing would begin all over again. Sehun needed Baekhyun right now, and it was weird thinking it, but Chanyeol knew he needed Baekhyun as well. As he entered a familiar neighbourhood, Chanyeol couldn't help but start to feel a sense of uneasiness settling inside him.

It was only when he'd turned the last corner and a neon sign came into view that he finally pieced the puzzle together. He went through a whirlwind of emotions right then; shock, disbelief, anger. He didn't know where it all stemmed from but before he could contemplate on it, Sehun was stirring awake. It took one hard rub at his eyes before Sehun was bursting into tears again, his mouth falling open as a loud, shrill scream escaped from it.

"Just hold on for a while longer, Sehunnie. Daddy's going to be here." Chanyeol pulled Sehun into his arms and marched towards the pub where he had first met his first love.

+++

As Baekhyun stepped into the pub, he was awashed with a new sense of fear but he pushed it all to the back of his mind and forced out a smile as he began work. Thankfully, most of his clients were rather prude in their requests that night. By ten, he was already done for the night, for business had been rather slow considering it was still early in the week. Kris ceased all back room activities and tasked Baekhyun with the job of tending to customers out front instead. 

It was eleven when Baekhyun went to the staff lounge to take a breather. There weren't many patrons left out at the front, so he figured Kris wouldn't mind it if he took five. He poured himself a drink of water and downed it all in one, setting the cup back on the counter. The night hadn't been too bad, he thought. But he knew things weren't always going to be this way.

Baekhyun didn't know how long he was standing there, consumed by his own thoughts, but soon, he found himself being tugged out of his reverie by an ear-splitting scream coming from outside. It sounded very much like a child's, which made Baekhyun flare in anger because which idiot would bring an innocent child into a place like this? Intending to give the moron a piece of his mind, Baekhyun stormed outside, only to be greeted by a startling scene. 

There, standing in a dishevelled state, was his estranged husband with his hysterical son in his arms. Before Baekhyun could even process what was going on, Chanyeol was walking towards him in fury. Sehun was kicking in his arms, causing a few chairs that were in the way to topple over, creating quite a scene.

"Why is a child in here!?" Kris bellowed as the other patrons turned to watch the commotion. "Get out, kids aren't allowed in here!"

Chanyeol remained unfazed by the angry owner, staring straight at Baekhyun who stood rooted to the ground, mouth agape. Baekhyun was certain of the lecture and yelling to come from Chanyeol, but what he wasn't expecting was for Chanyeol's expression to dissolve into that of exhaustion and desperation.

"Baekhyun, please, help Sehun. He won't stop crying."

Baekhyun wasted no time in reaching out for his son. Instantly, Sehun's cries turned down a notch as he wrapped his stubby arms around his father's neck, buring his face into Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun hurried outside with a quick "I'll explain tomorrow" to Kris, Chanyeol trailing close behind to make sure Sehun doesn't fall off.

Chanyeol found that his anger was put off, even if temporarily, as he watched Baekhyun tend to their son, singing and cooing and whispering hushed words into Sehun's ear as he paced about the parking lot. For a moment, Chanyeol sees a young Baekhyun, a time when they weren't riddled with problems, way before they had found out of their son's condition. Chanyeol glanced away with the memory that comes. 

Eventually, Sehun does fall asleep. For real, this time, judging by the little breathy snores. Chanyeol looked to Baekhyun who quietly muttered, "Take us home."

The ride back is insuffereably slow and silent. Occasionally, Sehun would stir in his sleep where he's leaning into Baekhyun's arms but Baekhyun is quick to shush him and lull him back to sleep. Chanyeol drives slow, the burning question on the tip of his tongue as he glanced sideways at Baekhyun in the passenger's seat every now and then, only half glad that Baekhyun's eyes are kept on the road ahead or Sehun's sleeping face and not on him. 

Chanyeol finally finds the courage to speak his mind when they're parked at the driveway of Baekhyun's house. The engine had been killed, making for an even quieter and tensed atmosphere, but neither of them made a move to get out of the car.

"You promised, Baekhyun," Chanyeol's voice sounded awfully loud when he spoke. It pierced the silence, but nothing was as sharp to Baekhyun's heart as the words he'd uttered. "November 10th, 1996. You swore you'd never do this again. not in this lifetime. not in another."

Baekhyun breath caught. He steadied his heart, letting himself be engulfed by the anger fulled by the hypocrisy of Chanyeol's words.

"Oh, don't preach about broken promises, Chanyeol," Baekhyun snapped wearily. "What about your vows, huh? Don't they mean anything? Whatever happened to 'for better or for worse'?"

Right at that moment, Chanyeol's phone rang in his pocket. The sound startled Sehun who started whimpering in his sleep. As Baekhyun tended to his youngest, Chanyeol glanced at the screen to see that it was an incoming call from Jongdae. Baekhyun sneaked a peek right before Chanyeol rejected the call and turned off his phone. It didn't take a genius to know that there was something more to a relationship when someone calls in the wee hours of the morning.

"Why?" Chanyeol finally said to carry on where they'd left the conversation, turning to Baekhyun who cast his eyes down. Baekhyun wanted to ask the same question, but for totally different reasons.

Instead, he answered, "You left me no choice."

"There's always a choice Baekhyun." Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun's eyes closed.

Baekhyun let the silence that followed drag on a little longer this time, the name Jongdae burned on the back of his eyelids, and for a moment, Chanyeol thought he had won the argument. Instead, Baekhyun surprised Chanyeol when he finally opened his eyes and lifted his gaze, meeting Chanyeol's eyes. Chanyeol doesn't acknowledge how glassy Baekhyun's eyes have become but the tremble in Baekhyun's voice is a dead giveaway at how much it pained for the smaller male to say the words that proceeded to slip from his thin lips.

"You gave me none when you chose to give up on us, Chanyeol. I was ready to fight for whatever we had but I guess it all meant nothing to you."

Baekhyun got out of the car and left with Sehun in his arms, letting the door shut with a quiet click. Chanyeol trailed his gaze after Baekhyun, watching as he disappeared into the house they had once shared.

Somehow it feels like Baekhyun has finally given up, and to be ing honest, Chanyeol had no clue how to feel about that.

+++

A/N: I must have been angry when I wrote this... YES I WAS. My laptop was being such a hhh it kept hanging and all I wanted was to keep typing but it kept killing the page. I was on a roll, too.

Anyways, I'm really starting to wing it with this one. But don't worry, I'll actually sit myself down and go through my initial plot to see where I should go with this story. Hope this chapter wasn't a total disappointment. It gets pretty vague at parts but I hope you guys get it.

It's slightly unbeta-ed plus the format is a little off because i posted this from my phone. I'll get back and edit it again when i get the chance.

Thanks to those who subscribed, comment, and upvoted! (: