Seunghyun opened his eyes. His siblings were all asleep. Your head was resting on his shoulder. He looked around *Where are we?* Seunghyun noticed the familiar setting.
“Get up, guys.” He shook his brothers, “We’re here. We have to get off at the next stop.” Seunghyun gently shook you, “~~~~~~~~~~~ wake up. We have to go.”
Rubbing your eyes, you sat up.
“Ah, Jeez.” Jiyong stretched.
You took Seunghyun’s hand. He squeezed your hand.
The train stopped and the 6 of you got out.
“Ah, the sun.” Daesung whined. Seungri was already dead to the world.
The station was thick with people.
“Stay close so that you won’t get lost. Daesung, take ~~~~~~~’s other hand.” Seunghyun ordered. Daesung did as told.
Seunghyun glanced back. Seungri was lagging.
“Jiyong.” Seunghyun said. He rolled his eyes and dragged Seungri over by the back of shirt, “Come on, you slug. Keep up!”
The 6 of you made it out of the train station.
“Do you remember where mom was buried?” Taeyang asked.
“Yeah, but we have to walk. I don’t have any money.” Seunghyun said.
It was a long way to the cemetery. You grew tired but tried your best to keep up.
Jiyong had to keep cursing so that Seungri would keep up.
Finally, you grew tired and sat on the floor, “My feet hurt.” “Mine, too.” Seungri sat next to you.
“It’s just a little more.” Seunghyun said. Still, you didn’t get up. He bent down, “Come on. Get on my back.” You stood up. Daesung helped you onto Seunghyun’s back. Seunghyun lifted you up.
“Carry me, too, hyung.” Seungri begged.
“Not a chance. Get up!” Jiyong yanked him up.
Seungri sighed and trudged up the hill.
Seunghyun glanced back at you, “Better?”
“Mmhmm.” You hugged his neck. But you pouted, “Oppa, you must be tired, though. Mianhae.” He shook his head, “No~ Oppa isn’t tired at all.”
You beamed and squeezed his neck, “Of course not cause you’re my big, strong brother, right?” Seunghyun smiled and nodded. The two of you laughed.
Another 20 minutes had passed.
“I’ll carry her now, hyung.” Taeyang lifted you off of Seunghyun. He stared to carry you bridal style. You snuggled against his skinny chest as you hugged his neck.
“We’re finally here.” Seunghyun said.
You opened your eyes and looked up. You remembered the pearly white gates that looked just like the gates of Heaven. Your eyes lit up at the memory. You squirmed and Taeyang let you down. “MOMMY!” You ran in. Even Seungri perked up a bit. You stopped and looked around in confusion, “Eh? Where is it again?”
“This way.” Seunghyun motioned you over. You ran over. The 6 of you stopped in front of the gravestone.
KIM MI RA.
“Mommy!” You hugged the stone, “We came! Aren’t you happy?!”
Seunghyun and Taeyang softened. It touched them to see such a cute, little girl hugging the stone as if it really was their mom. Seungri blankly blinked. Tears were already falling down Daesung’s face.
“Let’s all say hello to mom.” Seunghyun put his hand on Daesung’s and your shoulder. He bent you down in 90 degrees and bowed along with you, “Annyeonghasayo, umma.” Everyone paid their respects except for Jiyong. He was standing far away with a sad, bitter face.
“Jiyong. Come and greet mom.” Seunghyun called. Everyone stared at him.
“What mom? She’s dead.” He muttered. You gasped with wide eyes.
“Kim Jiyong.” Seunghyun growled.
“What? It’s true. You all are acting like she’s still alive but you need to face the facts. SHE’S DEAD. She’s no ing help to any of us in this situation at all.” He snapped.
Before Seunghyun could scold him, you stormed over. You shoved him with your small, weak hands, “How can you say that about mommy, oppa?! You’re bad! Mommy will be disappointed in you!”
“Dead people don’t have feelings.” Jiyong muttered.
You started to cry, “Why are you being so mean to mommy?”
“Because she left us first.” Angry tears welled up in his eyes, “She left us all alone to fend for ourselves. We’re just kids and yet she just died like that. She left us with a deranged, drunken man who spent all the money on gambling and left us to starve. And now we’re running for our lives but what can mom do about it now, huh? You tell me. You know what she can do? Absolutely nothing.” Jiyong spat, “Mom is a ing coward. She left before us so that she didn’t have to be included in this catastrophe. If she loved us at all, she wouldn’t have gone first.”
“She had no choice, you meanie!” You bawled. “I hate you, Jiyong oppa! You’re such a bad person!” You kept hitting him but he just stood there with hot tears spilling down his face.
“That’s enough.” Seunghyun came over.
Taeyang pulled you back and cuddled you in his arms.
Seunghyun gazed at Jiyong and softly spoke, “Still, it’s not right, Jiyong. Mom loved you a lot. I remember. Come and say hello.”
Jiyong pulled away, “Whatever.” He walked away and sat in the grass.
You wouldn’t stop crying. Daesung wiped your tears away, “Shh, stop crying.”
Seungri was silently crying, too.
Soon, the 6 of you were lying down in the grass. You had fallen asleep crying.
Seunghyun wiped the rest of your tears away and lightly patted your tummy. You lulled into a deep slumber and dreamt about your mom: the kind and loving woman who endlessly spilled love for her beautiful children.
Seunghyun sighed and looked at the gravestone. *Mom, please give me courage. I need to be strong to lead all my brothers and sister to a good life. I don’t know if I can do that. Please watch over us in heaven, mom. Keep us safe. As long as we’re together, I know everything will be okay.*