~Selina/Yuki~

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As I saw Jaejoong disappearing I wiped away the tears as I looked at his shadow fading away.

I could hear the car driving further and further and soon, All I could hear was my own sobbing and the wind blowing freely

I looked down on the graveyard and I saw my name on the stone

It's sad isn't it..

On the stone.. on papers.. and my body.. was actually buried down there.. and in this world.. I'm actually gone..

I touched the grass carefully as I took a deep breath

"I'm not dead.. I'm alive.." I breathed

I looked up and soon my eyes saw a big heart shaped plant. Inside the plant there was two flowers entwined.. reminding me of the plant I had brought over to the guys dorm a couple of months earlier

I walked over to it and bended down to touch it

"Yunho.." I whispered

An ocean of sadness, guilt and pain took over inside of me as I covered my mouth while crying..

It's a terrible feeling to know that .. I was still alive.. but to Yunho and the others.. I was dead..

Which means.. I can't hug him.. I can't comfort him.. I can't approach him..

"I love you..." I whispered

"Who are you?"

The fierce and cold voice made me stand up out of fear and I stared at the creature who was holding a bouquet of white flowers.

His eyes were filled with tears and pain as the facial expression were giving me cold vibes

Even though it was cold vibes, an cold facial expression, fierce words.. and his eyes weren't looking at me with love and warmth.. I still couldn't deny that even this side.. You couldn't.. stop yourself from loving him too

It's Yunho

I stayed silent as he took another step forward and looked at me

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

His voice tried to be cold but it was hoarse and cracking up.. He could barely finish his sentence

I was trying to hold my feelings back, my arms and legs so that I wouldn't run towards him, throw myself at him and kiss him.. hug him.. and tell him that it was me.. Selina

No.. I couldn't expose myself like that..

There was 3 rules and I couldn't spoil it. He had to realize himself

He gave up of waiting for my answer and walked towards 'My' grave and bended down and put the flowers next to the plant

I was holding back the tears as I heard him sob and saw him touch the stone slightly

He started to cry harder as he kept looking at the stone

For every tear that was falling from his eyes, it made my heart break into pieces

I took out a piece of napkin and bended down onto his height as I cried silently

"Uljima.." I whispered

He didn't look at me and was staring straight at the stone as I was wiping away his tears

"I'm sure.. she .. wouldn't want to see you cry so much.."

Suddenly I felt his body freeze and he looked at me

"What do you know.." He snapped

He grabbed the napkin and ripped it apart as he stood up

I stared at him, astonished by his reaction. I had never seen him react like this

"Who are you to me? Who gave you the right to tell me what you THINK Selina would've wanted..?"

Yunho's eyes were filled with anger and pain this time, I couldn't say anything at all

"I..I.."

"You're not .. Selina right?" He snapped

I stared at him

"That's right.. You're not Selina.. So you don't know.. what she's thinking or feeling.. I'm grieving cause she's not here.. So let me do that.." He said coldly

My heart froze and didn't beat as I felt his words inside of me.. Tearing me up and down

"Hyung.."

I recognized Changmin's voice behind him and Yunho kept glaring at me as I saw Changmin and Junsu walking over

"Hyung.. Don't.. be so harsh on her.. She just.." Changmin started but cut Yunho off

"Shut Up Changmin. That girl over there doesn't even know Selina.. I've never seen her with Selina and .. I've met all of her friends.. I'm sure she's just an outsider.. stalking her or something" Yunho snapped

I cried silently, hiding half of my face inside the scarf

"Hyung.. Don't.." Junsu started

Yunho sighed

"Kah Ja" He said angrily and spun around

I watched his back as he was walking..

Junsu followed Yunho as Changmin ran over to me and looked at me

"Uhm.. Mianhe.. Yunho Hyung is just.. a bit.. sensitive.. and devastated.. because of.."

Changmin quieten and looked at the graveyard

"Of .. Selina's.. Death.. He's been like this for a week now.. and I apologize on his behalf.."

"It's ok Oppa.. I understand" I stuttered

Suddenly I felt Changmin staring at me a bit awkwardly and I faced him

"Oppa?" He asked a bit weirdly

I suddenly realized that I had said something that I wouldn't have. Out of all the 4 members except Yunho, I only called Changmin Oppa since he was the one that was the most protective of me

"Do I .. Know you?" He stuttered

I stared at him and then looked away

"Mianhe~~ It just came out.. I'm sorry Changmin~~ssi"

He chuckled

"It's ok... I thought I knew you"

You do.. just.. that you don't recognize this face...

"Uhm.. I guess you don't.." I said

He suddenly took out a handkerchief and wiped away my tears and then he put the handkerchief in my hand

I looked at him a bit confused

"I'm sure you'll need this.."

"But don't you.."

He shook his head

"Right now.. I have to take care of my Hyung.. and I can't do that.. if I'm going to cry .. I have to be strong.. My hyung needs me" He said gently

Changmin.. always so caring.. How I was I could just shout and tell him that it was me

"I'm sure you'll need it more than I do.. So.. don't cry anymore.. I'm sure Selina would like to see us smile and think of the happy memories we spent with her.."

I do .. I really do..

"So.. I think you should go home.. It's really late.." He said and looked at his clock

I nodded

"Nae~~"

"Do.. you want me to take you?" He asked gently

I looked at him and shook my head

"I'll.. walk"

He smiled

Suddenly he took off his jacket and his hat and put his jacket around me and the hat on my head

"It's cold.. Don't catch a cold or a fever okay? I'll let you borrow this"

"But.."

He nodded and started to walk away

"How do you know that I'll give it back to you?" I shouted behind him

"If my instincts are right.. I'm sure you'll return it to me" He waved

I stared at him as he walked away and I looked down on handkerchief and then the hat and jacket

I don't know why he did that.. but my thoughts of first meeting Changmin has never changed. He was still the caring and protective guy as he has always been..

I smiled to myself.. as I started to walk

I'm sure I'll be able to get along well with Changmin.. and maybe the other ones since I know all about them..

I had advantages and I was one step before them..

But I started to get depressed as I thought about Yunho

He didn't knew me and instantly he had started to shout at me and yell at me

I looked back on the graveyard and then at the moon

I guess.. this was going to be harder than I thought..