Not Human
Right Next To You~Selina~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR YUNHO!!"
I was standing outside their dorm, banging on their door. He refused to open and I hadn't give up on seeing him.
After the incident at the hospital, he never came back and when I was discharged 2 days ago, I had been like camping outside their dorm. He never left the dorm and he never opened it, didn't answer me when I called and I was wondering if he was still alive..
But he was. I could hear him through the door sometimes. I had been banging on their dorm for the past 2 days but still he refused to see me, open the door or even talk to me
A few days ago I did feel like giving up but in the end, I couldn't. It was getting more and more frustrated and I started to feel more stressed since the time was running and it was only 7 days left.
I always called him, walked over to the dorm, to stand outside for like 3 - 4 hours but he still refused to open the door..
I couldn't get one word from him and it was even harder to see him. I texted him, called him, was standing outside the dorm every morning, afternoon and evening but still, he never opened and he never looked outside to see me, tell me to go home or anything.
In fact, he just vanished, pretended that he didn't hear me, see me or anything. Seems like he had cut off all bands, contacts.. anything that had to do with me
More and more frustrated I started to think about how to tell him, day and night . I couldn't sleep at night since all I could hear was the ticking sound of the clocks and it just made me feel more stressed..
As for the other guys, they hadn't come back from their schooltrip and I was starting to fear the worse. If I couldn't make it on time, i'd die again and Yunho would commit suicide..
I couldn't let that happen.
I didn't cry outside their dorm but I was always at the verge of doing it. But I couldn't show him my weak side.. I had to stay strong. I had to work and fight .. Cause this is about Yunho's life..
I don't care what will happen to me.. as long as he's okay
"PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR! WE NEED TO TALK YUNHO!!" I shouted and started to bang the door once more
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Yunho~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was turning up the volume on my Ipod, trying to prevent the noise that Yuki were making, trying to talk to me and to see me
She was scaring me.. I was scaring myself.
I must have gone insane
To even think that I saw Selina? There must be something stupid.. crazy about me. Seriously, Not a single human being would even see any stuff like that ..
That's something that's beyond the stuff that we can even do, possess in this world..
For the past 2 days, I had been thinking of seeing a therapist, a doctor.. a psychologist.. anything.. Cause I needed someone to say that I wasn't crazy and that I was complete normal
Although, the images of the mirror, me seeing Selina in the mirror kept popping up inside my head, making me feel more and more frustrated. I can't have possibly gone crazy, that I've started to hallucinate, to even think about stuff like this.. to even
SEE SELINA in front of me..
"I'm insane.. Insane.." I whispered to myself
I'm just hallucinating, thinking that I see Selina in front of me.. But it's just a dream.. I'm just dreaming.. I'm not really seeing her.. I can't..
I knew that deep inside of me, I loved Selina more than anything, but that I was in fact starting to see her even though I knew she was dead was crazy.. madness..
I've been mourning.. grieving and blaming myself..
Is this the result because I hadn't treated her well?
Because I hadn't.. been fair to her? Have I ever done her anything ?
Hurt her perhaps?
All those thoughts had been circulating inside my head the past few days but seriously no answer would pop out and the more I was thinking, the more questions came out..
And I hated it. I hate how I have questions but simply no answers. It was making me feel frustrated, and I was at the verge of bringing down the entire dorm because I wanted to get out my frustration and anger, but I was controlling it
Maybe.. maybe..
Maybe .. What if.. I have.. done something.. maybe I've been to selfish like the guys had been telling me about.. And now.. maybe..
"NO!!!!!!!!"
I flew up from the bed and the Ipod fell down onto the floor as I got out of the room. I had to get out of there since there were too many stuff that had to do with Selina..
It was.. bringing me down.. I couldn't breathe
"Please open the door Yunho.."
I covered my ears and sat down on the couch as I tried to shut her voice outside from my head.
I couldn't see Yuki.. I wasn't myself around her. She.. looks like Selina..
It feels like someone's haunting me.. trying to force me to pay for the mistakes I've done..
Maybe someone.. is.. haunting me..
Maybe.. that person took over Yuki's body?
"No.!!" I shouted
I can't think like that!!
I started to run around in the dorm, in search for the pills that I knew JaeJoong had somewhere..
Somewhere..
I had to sleep.. I had to get away from the reality. From everything. Cause only then I could be at ease.. These stuff are too much.. It was bringing me down, step by step and I was uncontrollably.. turning into an insane person.. thinking that someone has taken over Yuki's body
A soul might have replaced Yuki's soul and.. that person were haunting me..
Maybe.. I had been selfish for the past few months that I had completely forgotten the people around me and now.. someone's was seeking for revenge..
I pulled out all kinds of drawers in the bathroom, the kitchen but the can was nowhere to be found. I had to find it.. only then I could escape from this insane world that was trying to take me with it..
Yuki's not Yuki anymore..
It's the ghost of Selina..
I didn't know what she wanted from me but it felt like she wanted to hurt me..
I ran inside JaeJoong's room and soon I found the can in his bathroom, in the locker
I grabbed the can and hurried inside my bedroom and grabbed the bottle of water as I swallowed three pills and lied down on the bed
I must be crazy thinking that someone's haunting me..
But seriously, wouldn't you think that You've gone insane if you saw... another person resemble somebody you've lost?
And of course.. now when that person is standing outside your dorm, trying to see you.. wouldn't you be scared??
I was scared to death
Scared because I think I've gone insane, Selina's death had taken over my brain
Scared.. because I couldn't think about something else than the scary pictures.. the scene of me seeing Yuki resembling Selina in the mirror..
If I'm not crazy? If I'm not 'Sick'.. then what am I? Not Human .. that's for sure..
Maybe I should let someone examine my brain, to see if I was in my right mind
Maybe I should see a doctor..
The last thing that I was thinking about was Psychiatric Hospital before the pills slowly started to take over and soon I fell asleep..
Comments