~Yunho~

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The next day I went back to the hospital and of course, this time I was also by myself since the others were in school. Just like the other day, JaeJoong had made food for us ..

I entered the room and I saw that Yuki was awake

"You're here"

She sounded a bit better in her voice which made me smile

"Hi.. you're awake" I smiled and walked over

She nodded slowly

"So.. what did JaeJoong cook?" She smiled

I chuckled

"mOl la yo. probably something that will help you heal faster"

"Chincha?"

I nodded

"Did you bring any movies or something today?"

"Yeah.. I actually.. did.. Yoochun gave me this movie... He said you would like it.."

I took out the movie, which turned out to be A moment to remember

"I love that one" She smiled widely

I chuckled

"Chincha? I like this movie to.."

I decided to turn it on and afterwards I walked back to the chair and just sat down comfortably and watched it. Throughout the movie I could hear her sob from time to time and when the movie finished, I turned it off and looked at her

"Don't cry.." I smiled

She chuckled

"I can't help it.. it's really a beautiful movie.."

I nodded

"Indeed.."

I took out some napkins and wiped away her tears as she was letting me..
The feeling of wiping away her tears was really a weird one. Comfortable.. and scary..

I realized that my pulse had got up so I instantly pulled away from her and just looked away

"Do you think.. it's.. horrible to forget?"

Her sudden question forced me to look at her. She was closing her eyes but she was awake

"Horrible? To forget?"

"Nae~~ .. To forget someone.. "

I quieten. I didn't know the answer for that question.. but it's.. different from person to person.. Right?

"I don't know.."

"But if it were you?"

"If it was me?"

"If it's you.. Would you be able.. to forget someone you love?"

It was like a stab in the heart. The question.. made me think of Selina.. and .. memories came back , flashing and reminding me of our times.. the times when it was so .. amazingly beautiful.. and the times.. I had caused her to cry..

I started to feel guilty.. The conscience of mine wasn't at top right now.. and just the thoughts of that I had made Selina.. sad several times, made me angry..
I could've been better..

"Why are you crying?"

I looked up as she was looking back at me gently

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Tears.. are running.." She said and pointed at my face

I lifted my finger and to my surprise, just like she said there were tears running

"Oh.. Uhm.. I got something in my eye"

"Koh jid mal" She mumbled

I sighed. I looked back at her as her eyes were silently watching me carefully, with concern. Not really.. the harsh and hateful eyes that she should have because of the accident..

"Why do you care.. so much Yuki?" I sighed

"I want to"

"Why? Look at you. I was the one who injured you.. I've been yelling at you.. Been cold to you.. but still.. I mean.. you're always by my side.. caring for me.. helping me.. talking to me.. Is there something wrong with you?" I said frustrated, blaming myself for being so .. evil.. so.. unfair to her

It just reminded me of all the times I've been unfair to Selina.. and when I think about it.. I caused Yuki to end up here on the hospital..
But Selina.. I caused her.. to die.. I lost her

"It was an accident.. Accidents happen Yunho" She said

"NO IT DOESN'T! I'm a walking.... living disaster! First .. I caused the death of my girlfriend and now you're injured lying here on this bed! You can't tell me it's an accident or a coincidence cause it's not!!!!" I said frustrated

"Even if you don't want to hear it.. I will still say it. It's all accidents.."

"No.. It's me.. I should've died instead of her.. I should be lying in bed instead of you.." I sobbed

Suddenly I felt her warm hand grab mine.

I looked at her and suddenly, she started to move

"What are you doing?" I asked surprised

Seems like she was trying to sit up

"You can't! You should lie down"

She was on her way up but then something happened. Her balance weren't steady and she almost fell over from the bed since her strength wasn't fully recovered

"TAKE IT EASY!!" I said as I caught her on time

I helped her sit up and I sat down on her bed as I was holding her

I was on my way to put her back and to help her lie down on the bed when she suddenly hugged me

"What are .. you doing?" I stuttered

"I'm happy that you're where with me"

As she was hugging me, holding onto me tightly, you can't really say that I was hugging her back. Mostly because I was so surprised by her sudden move

"I'm happy that you're here with me. And just to be able to sit here and talk with you.. I can't ask for more. Listening to your true feelings.. what you're feeling deep down inside.. and your thoughts.. I know that you're not that open unless you feel comfortable.. around someone"

"H oo w.. do you.. kk know? I stammered

she pulled away from me as Iw as holding her so that she wouldn't fall again.

Although when she pulled away, her eyes were looking at me , concentrated and seems like she refused to look somewhere else

"I know you.. more than you think. I care alot about you.. "

I didn't say anything

I started to feel uneasy, for having her so close to me. It didn't feel right. Or well, the heart was feeling okay with having her so close to me, racing with the blood inside of me but my mind kept telling me that this was wrong. She's not Selina

"Uhm.. lie down.. So that you don't need to.. stress yourself out" I said avoidingly and forced her back down the bed. I tucked her in and walked over to the books of mine

I heard her sigh but she didn't say anything..

"I think.. you should sleep.. and rest" I stammered nervously as I started to look for my books.

I had my back facing her just becausee I didn't want to look at her. I didn't like the feelings she was giving to me. I didn't like how I was thinking about her instead of Selina. I didn't like.. how much she cared for me. I didn't like.. how she.. resembled.. selina.. in her ways of talking and caring..

i can't like her..

I can't ..

I sat down on the chair and hid myself behind the book. For some reason I knew she wasn't sleeping yet..

"Can I ask you a favor?"

I looked up from the book as she was lying there

"You have to .. promise me that you will.. think of it.. very carefully"

"I.. don't know.. if I can.. do that" I said slowly

"Please?"

She affected me in a way that no one has never been able to do.. except.. Selina.. so in the end I agreed

She took a deep breath before closing her eyes. I waited for her to tell me what she wanted me to think about

"When you look at me.. Use.. your eyes in a laterally reversed way.."

I soon heard her.. deep breathings. She had fallen asleep..

To use my eyes laterally reversed when I look at her?
What in the world.. does that mean?