~Yunho~

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"Where.. did you.. get this?" She asked

I looked at the bear that she was holding, almost like..she was holding it too hard since it kind of.. looked like she.. recognized it

I walked towards her and sat down on the couch

I grabbed the bear as I squeezed the stomach and heard Selina's voice say happily

"I love you Jung Yunho"

My stomach started to feel weird as I felt my heart cry even though I was smiling on the outside

"Selina gave me this.. for the previous christmas last year.. I forgot it at her place when.. we were late for the party that her parents were holding.. and.. today"

She waited as I tried to hold back the tears..

"Uhm.. I.."

I choked and couldn't even finish the sentence as I felt the tears wanting to come up

"Selina.. gave..this to me"

I quieten and looked at the bear as I remembered when she had given me it. I was waiting outside her bedroom, not seeing the mistletoe that she had put there

I had been waiting outside her door and suddenly she opened, gave me the gift and kissed me out of nowhere..

"How.. did you get it?" She whispered

I looked at Yuki as her eyes were staring at the bear in my hands

"I.. went to her apartment.. and.. took it" I swallowed hardly

She looked up at me and suddenly she leaned forward and gave me a hug
I soon felt myself responding as I wrapped my arms around her..

*Ding Dong

The doorbell, interrupted us as we pulled away from each other. I looked at Yuki who instantly got up from her seat and hurried to open the door

I soon recognized Changmin's voice and I guess it was time for us to leave. I went to the hallway, feeling a bit awkward after I had been talking about the bear with Yuki and also hugging her..

An ocean of guilt started to fill me up inside as I avoided to look at her

"You're better now?" Changmin smiled

Yuki nodded

"You better leave.. I think Yunho needs to rest" Yuki said

I put on my jacket and Changmin hugged YUki gently before going outside. I spun around and looked at her as she was looking at me carefully..

I started to feel even more guilty since I had hugged.. Selina's best friend..

I had to leave.. I couldn't stay here.. at all..

"Bye"

I went outside and walked hurriedly out of there.. I couldn't be in the same apartment..
What was I thinking?

I was hugging Selina's friend..

What kind of guy am I?!

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~JaeJoong~

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I don't know for how long I was sitting there in the cold. My lips were probably blue by now and my hands ice cold

I sighed heavily..

I felt the bracelet that she had given me on my previous birthday, hanging freely on my wrist. I pulled it out slowly and looked at it

There was a small jewel, a small small one, in the shape of two hands holding each other and in the middle there was a stone.

I'm sure this bracelet must have cost her a fortune but she refused to tell me and didn't let me to bring it back to the store. But I was happy.. overwhelmed that I could receive such a beautiful bracelet from her..

The jewel symbolized our first meeting and the only secret that I had with her. Even though it was a small one, it felt like it was the world to me

I never thought.. that I would end up like this. Everyday struggling through the day, painfully looking at Yunho and Selina but yet happy for them since they were in love

"I wonder how it.. would've been.. if it.. was me.. If I were your boyfriend.." I mumbled

There was never a day... never a single day where I thought about it. I couldn't forget it.. and I guess, I had hid my feelings for her well since she had never asked me or noticed it.. neither did Yunho

As his hyung I did feel guilty for.. even having this feelings but.. your heart.. you cannot tell what it has to feel and what it cannot feel..

Silently I started to sob again as I started to think about our memories. Those times where I had comforted her.. where I had.. spent time with her..

Just being able to be near her.. was all that I asked for

I could.. love her from afar.. but never.. close..

"You shouldn't cry.."

I looked up as I heard the voice

"You shouldn't cry.. her heart will ache if you do" Yuki said

I stared at her as I saw her approaching me..

She didn't look at me but was stubbornly looking at Selina's graveyard. I was about to open my mouth to say something when I suddenly heard her sob

It had never affected me before since I had seen her cry in Yunho's bedroom.. but this time.. the atmosphere and aura felt different..since.. we were at the cemetery.. and we were standing in front of Selina's stone

"You shouldn't cry even if you miss her.. you should.. smile.. even though it's hard"

"How do you know what Selina feels.." I said quietly, sounding a bit harsh

She sighed

"You should also.. stop JaeJoong"

"Mwoh?"

I looked up as she soon spun around and looked at me

"You should stop being so cold and harsh towards everyone.." she mumbled quietly

She then put down a single rose in front of Selina's stone and started to walk out of there. I looked at Selina's stone and soon I was after Yuki.

I followed her outside of the cemetery and then down the pavement

"Why are you following me?" She asked

I grabbed her arm and forced her to spin around to face me

"You shouldn't tell me what to do and what I should do!" I said angrily

She looked at me

"You're not Selina. You will never ever be able to take her place. Didn't I tell you to stay away from us?" I shouted

Yuki looked at me calmly

"You told me to stay away from you guys but not from the stone. besides, I've never said that I want to take Selina's place. I know she's very precious to you"

"Then what are you here for?" I said and glared at her

She inhaled a deep breath and spun around, her back facing me

"I have something.. I have to accomplish" She mumbled as she walked away

Yuki walked out on my, leaving me standing there all by myself, speechless.. looking at her back

"Accomplish what?"