A/n: Violence warning. Really minor ual content that will definitely not be your ship. My friend yelled at me for this chapter for reasons you'll soon understand.

 “Who do you think it is?”

Kyungsoo had decided to tell Sehun about his mystery Romeo – which was not what Kyungsoo was calling him but Sehun wouldn’t stop saying that (loudly, in the cafeteria where others could no doubt hear him) – but neither of them really knew anything about him. There was no one at their school named “Kai” – that definitely wasn’t a Korean name and Sehun didn’t think it was Chinese either though he promised to ask Luhan – and there was no one they even knew who had any interest in Kyungsoo. Why would they? He was an anti-social dork. Maybe it was a joke.

“I don’t care anyway,” Kyungsoo claimed indifferently.

“If you don’t care, why did you keep the note?” Sehun teased. Kyungsoo said nothing, shoving the note back in his pocket. He tried not to think of the other notes he’d kept. Sehun wouldn’t need to know about them or he’d never let it go.

They didn’t talk about it after that because just then Luhan came in, limping slightly. Sehun saw him and ran to him, meeting him five steps from the doorway. He threw Luhan’s arm over his shoulder, helping him walk to their table.

“I’m okay, really,” Kyungsoo heard Luhan saying as they reached the table. Sehun helped him sit down and then sat beside him, lifting Luhan’s leg onto his knees and gently rubbing the older’s calf. “I just twisted my ankle. Coach didn’t want me to risk anything though so he sent me off early.”

Sehun’s other hand was behind his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him in to kiss him lovingly. “You need to be more careful hyung.”

“I know,” Luhan smiled. “But I’ve got you to look after me.”

There was just a lot of mindless chatter for the next half an hour – Sehun of course telling Luhan all about Kyungsoo’s note and the mysterious “Kai” – until Minseok came in at the end of practice. Kyungsoo saw Luhan look his way for just a second and then quickly went to ignoring him. But Minseok made his way over to their table, not even acknowledging Jongdae, and stopped at the end of the table, staring pointedly at Luhan.

“Are you alright?” he asked, sounding very formal.

Luhan glanced up at him, seeming surprised but then quickly brushed it off, looking away. “I’m fine.”

Minseok nodded curtly and was gone.

“So, what are you gonna do if this Kai guy reveals himself, Soo?” Luhan asked, bouncing the subject off him. Kyungsoo just shrugged. “He might really like you – you might really like him. You should go on a date with him, if he asks.”

Kyungsoo was wondering why on earth he would want to do something like that. Dating. The more he thought about it, the less he wanted to think about it. Sehun and his mother always brought it up (“Do you have a girlfriend yet?” – his mom asked every couple months) and he knew that inevitably one day he would have to meet someone and then date them and get married. Marriage seemed bearable but dating – dating seemed horrifying. Kyungsoo just imagined it as being terribly awkward or annoyingly cheesy. Both choices seemed grossly deterring to him. He’d always wished for an arranged marriage when he was younger; at least that way he wouldn’t have to go out and look for someone himself.

“I don’t want to date anyone.”

Luhan gave him a sympathetic look, then returned his attention to Sehun. “I’m gonna go change out of my uniform,” he said, getting to his feet.

Sehun jumped up. “You can’t just go alone, you’re injured!”

“Really, Hunnie, I’m okay!” Luhan insisted but Sehun’s arm was around his waist, helping him walk. Luhan sighed. “See you guys later,” he said as they went. Kyungsoo frowned.

“I hope no one goes in the change room any time soon,” he muttered. Joonmyun raised an eyebrow questioningly and then his eyes widened in realization.

“You don’t think…” Kyungsoo didn’t answer and Joonmyun grew quiet. “That’s… huh. When did our maknae become such a ?”

Kyungsoo genuinely laughed at that. And people looked at him weirdly because he didn’t laugh at things. But it was funny, because it was true – Sehun had changed very quickly now that he was with Luhan and it was stupid of him, to give everything to his first boyfriend like that, but that was Sehun. He was innocent and he was head-over-heels in love with the boy he would do anything for, and it was just digging a hole of inevitable suffering but he was happy and Kyungsoo couldn’t burst his bubble. Sure he’d regret it in a year or so, but he wasn’t thinking about that.

That afternoon of course Jongin came to his house to work on their project, and he seemed more awkward than usual. He stayed until they finished the whole thing, around 8 or 9 at night – Kyungsoo’s mom bringing them dinner again. They ate together, feeling uncomfortable, neither knowing what to say to the other. Well, Kyungsoo was okay not talking but Jongin seemed to want to say something. There was nothing to say though. Oh hey, I hate you, or at least pretend to, but here I am eating dinner with you at your house. Kyungsoo just wanted this week to be over so he wouldn’t have to have Jongin around anymore. Then they could go back to their relationship where Jongin just made fun of him and Kyungsoo just thought of him as pathetic.

When Jongin left that night he said goodnight to Kyungsoo’s mother as usual but he also said goodnight to Kyungsoo, who scowled in response. Then with Jongin gone he returned to their plane, looking over its completed body proudly. Then, catching sight of the cans of paint lined up on the garage wall, he decided he wanted to paint it to make it look just like the plane in the book. So he took out his brushes and went through the paint. He didn’t have the exact colours he needed but he had ones he could mix to make a close match.

And that was the reason he was up until very early hours in the morning, making sure everything was absolutely exact, painting layer after layer, adding intricate details. This was what kept him up four hours later than usual and only allowed him about five hours of sleep.

So by three in the afternoon he was falling asleep on the bus. Sehun was there today, and he chatted away but Kyungsoo still just nodded off. He felt himself leaning on his friend’s shoulder but he knew Sehun wouldn’t mind. Sehun just rubbed his back and whispered to him until he had to leave, and then he gently leaned Kyungsoo against the window. Kyungsoo had dozed off again before the bus started moving. Ten minutes later, he felt someone shaking his shoulder and he opened his eyes to see Jongin kneeling on the seat in front of him, arm stretched towards him.

“Kyungsoo, it’s your stop,” he said quietly. Kyungsoo shook his hand off, standing up and rubbing his eyes as he pushed past the taller boy and hurried off the bus.

“You’re tired today,” Jongin noted. Kyungsoo yawned but didn’t otherwise respond. They walked into the side door of the garage and Jongin’s jaw dropped. “Woah!”

Kyungsoo was happy to see that the plane hadn’t been moved or destroyed while he’d been away. Jongin dropped his backpack and went over to it, looking it over. Kyungsoo held back, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Jongin was critical of his work, he knew it, and now Kyungsoo was worrying about any flaws. Worse, the book with the original picture was sitting open beside their plane, making it easy for Jongin to compare.

“You did this?” Jongin finally asked in awe. “That’s why you didn’t sleep last night.” Jongin looked to Kyungsoo, hovering near the doorway. Kyungsoo kept his face indifferent. “This is amazing.”

Kyungsoo grew quiet. Maybe he was too tired, maybe he was subconsciously picking up Jongin’s friendliness; maybe he was just surprised by it. But the word slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. “Thanks.”

Jongin gave a tiny smile. “So, what are we doing today?”

Kyungsoo pulled his book out in response, flipping through his pages. His eyes didn’t want to focus but he forced himself to pay attention. They had to do calculations on flying the plane but he couldn’t even process any of it. Maybe he would just write down the numbers and figure it all out tomorrow…

Jongin was picking up the plane to take outside and Kyungsoo clenched his jaw watching him. But he handled it very carefully, and as he passed he said, “Coming?” Kyungsoo grabbed the remote and his notebook and hurried after him. He flicked on the switch and Jongin placed the airplane on the ground, letting Kyungsoo test it in flight. He let the plane fly a foot off the ground, making sure it could keep itself in the air. Jongin was vocally impressed and Kyungsoo was secretly very proud. But after the initial testing, tiredness started taking over Kyungsoo and he couldn’t keep his mind clearly on the plane. After a couple minutes he felt a hand brush against his and take the controller out of his hand.

“Maybe I should fly it,” Jongin offered. “I don’t want it ruined again. You write things down.” Kyungsoo didn’t like being told what to do but he couldn’t argue Jongin’s point. So he sat and began writing numbers down. He had stuck down a piece of tape that was measured at five-hundred feet and with that they could time the speed and height the plane could reach. However, he kept his head down a lot to look at his page and try and figure out the numbers he was writing and in that position he felt himself submitting to sleep much easier until soon his head was resting on his book and he was passed out.

Waking up was very disorienting as he found the world to be sideways. He was laying down with a sweater tucked under his head, a glass of juice beside him and Kim Jongin sitting ten feet away writing in his notebook, the plane beside him.

“What the hell – why didn’t you wake me up?!” Kyungsoo jolted up and glared at Jongin, who wore one layer less – and Kyungsoo realized the sweater that had been his pillow was Jongin’s.

“I thought you could use the sleep,” Jongin said casually. “I didn’t mind doing some of the work on my own – you’ve done that a lot already.”

“Well – don’t,” Kyungsoo said. “What time is it anyways?” He took his phone out of his pocket. Four-thirty. He’d slept for an hour. He felt less tired but that didn’t make him any happier about the situation. He picked up the glass of juice beside him. “Did you tell my mom not to wake me up?”

“I don’t think she knows you fell asleep,” Jongin responded. What did he think his mom was, stupid?

“If she came outside and brought us drinks I’m sure she would’ve noticed-”

“She didn’t come out,” he was corrected. “I went in. I told her we were outside now, so she wouldn’t get worried.”

Jongin being considerate? It hardly made sense. (But maybe Kyungsoo just wasn’t awake enough for it.) “Why are you like that?” Kyungsoo muttered. “Why are you nice when you’re so horrible at school? Why do you pretend to be a , to not be smart, when that’s not actually true?”

Jongin stared at him for a moment, and then gave a crooked half-smile. “Survival I guess. Why don’t you tell everyone?”

“It’s not my secret to tell.” He couldn’t be bothered to stir things up just for drama’s sake. That wasn’t in his nature. “And besides – who would believe me anyway?”

Jongin’s smile grew sad, and he didn’t say much after that.

“

“I wish I could be your friend.”

Seven words that floated around in Kyungsoo’s head, trying to be anchored to sense. This was Kai’s latest message but Kyungsoo didn’t understand it. Sehun found it sweet of course, but Kyungsoo just … couldn’t make it make sense.

“If they wanted to be my friend, why wouldn’t they talk to me instead of just sending me these stupid notes?” And besides that, it seemed more like… something was holding him back, like there was a reason he couldn’t be Kyungsoo’s friend. But that didn’t make sense either. Was it because they were a senior or a younger student? Or… because this year Kyungsoo felt more like the laughing stock than ever. Maybe they were afraid to be associated with him because they didn’t want the hate. Whatever the reason, Kyungsoo figured they weren’t worth being friends with if they felt held back. Friendship didn’t make excuses. (That wasn’t strictly true because Kyungsoo excused Sehun constantly for basically everything he did, but he tried not to think about that.)

“You should go to the party this weekend,” Sehun suggested. “Maybe he’ll be there and talk to you!”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Kyungsoo muttered. But that night he decided to ask Jongin about the party since he would surely be there and maybe know who was going.

“The party on Friday? Yeah I’m hosting it.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo shouldn’t have really been surprised. “Do you know who’ll be there then?”

“It’s open invitation,” Jongin answered. “Anyone can just show up. You can come if you want – did you want to?”

“No,” Kyungsoo said shortly.

“Why not? It’s fun.”

“It’s not my kind of fun. Actually, nothing about being a teenager is fun.”

“What? Being a teenager is one of the only times you can have fun in your life!” Jongin looked at him with wide eyes, seeming amazed by Kyungsoo’s view. “When you’re an adult you have so many responsibilities – a job, a house, kids, bills – and you can’t have fun. When you’re a teenager you’re free; you can live without regrets. And parties, they’re like the epitome of teenage freedom. You can just, let loose, have fun. Live a little.”

“I don’t go to parties,” Kyungsoo snapped irritably. “And if I did I wouldn’t go to yours anyway.” And if Jongin was hurt by that he hid it pretty well, but for the rest of the week while they completed their project the conversing between them became non-existent.

By Friday though Sehun had yapped enough that Kyungsoo considered it. Maybe he could just go for half an hour or something… but no, that was stupid. The guy wasn’t going to confront him when they were surrounded by people at a popular guy’s house.

The note on his locker at the beginning of their lunch period made his decision final.

“Go to the party tonight. I’ll be there.”

Kyungsoo really wasn’t one for mysteries. And he didn’t like being pulled along like this. On one hand, if he went he might find this mystery guy and give him a piece of his mind. But then he’d be playing into Kai’s hand, doing what he wanted him to. If he didn’t go, what would he really lose?

But the thought of being kept up all night thinking about how he’d missed his opportunity pushed him to just get it over with.

Half an hour, he promised himself. Then he made arrangements with Joonmyun to go to the party with him and then sleep over at his house after. His mom would never approve of him going to a party, so he needed to spend the night somewhere. Likely Joonmyun would want to stay longer than him so he would just walk from Jongin’s house to Joonmyun’s. He wasn’t sure the distance but he wasn’t too bothered by walking a lot.

“You’ll love it hyung!” Sehun was telling him animatedly. “There’s great music and alcohol and lots of people – there’s girls too! And Luhan said Jongin has a pool and five bedrooms at his house!”

“Why does it matter how many bedroo-“ Kyungsoo cut himself off as it hit him, and Sehun grinned.

“I hope me and Luhan get one of them,” Sehun said, a bit distantly.

“I hope you guys make it to one of them,” Joonmyun corrected, looking a bit disgusted. “You’re way too into PDA.”

“We’re proud of our love,” Sehun frowned. “So what if we want people to see?”

“No one else wants to see!”

They continued bickering, but Kyungsoo was thinking about this party. Would he actually find his Kai tonight? Who would it even be? He didn’t even know what to expect. The idea that it might all just be some practical joke still nagged at the back of his mind. At least if that was the case, it would be over tonight.

Joonmyun went home with Kyungsoo that afternoon so Kyungsoo could get things for their “sleepover”. When Kyungsoo started packing pjs in his bag, Joonmyun asked what he was planning on wearing.

“What, to the party? I’m just wearing this,” Kyungsoo gestured as his current outfit.

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow. “Do you want Sehun to kill you?”

“I don’t really care what Sehun wants.”

“Well, I don’t want him to yell at me for letting you show up like this. Come on, let’s find something else.” Kyungsoo grumbled as Joonmyun went through his closet, pulling out a pair of fitted gray jeans, a loose black t-shirt and a navy jean-jacket for Kyungsoo to wear. He threw it all on and Joonmyun pushed the jacket sleeves up to Kyungsoo’s elbows, ing the cuffs. He threw Kyungsoo a pair of white sneakers and then mussed up his hair before smiling.

“Alright, you’re acceptable.”

“Great, can we go now?” Kyungsoo’s mom drove them to Joonmyun’s, where they spent the next four hours waiting, eating, doing final touch-ups and constantly messaging Sehun to tell him off for being over-excited and annoying as usual. He was too happy to have finally convinced Kyungsoo to go to a party. It was going to be worse when they actually got there. And then Sehun would probably try and make Kyungsoo stay for a while. Great. Another thing, of course Kris and his group would be there and who knows what they would be up to, how they would react when they saw Kyungsoo. And Jongin wouldn’t come to his defense or anything. He was only nice when no one else was around. Hopefully Kyungsoo would just be able to avoid them for whatever amount of time he was there for.

But his hopes were in vain.

Arriving at the party at just after eight-thirty, things were already in full swing. Music was pumping, alcohol and hormones flowing. They found Sehun and Luhan – and wished they hadn’t – on the couch, drinking and very tangled in each other. Joonmyun muttered something about needing to get a drink to wash that sight from his memory and Kyungsoo was left on his own. He wandered around awkwardly, not acknowledging anyone and eventually going outside and sitting in the backyard away from everyone else. He didn’t expect anyone to follow him out there so he was surprised at the figure that headed in his direction just a moment after he’d sat down. He didn’t think it was Joonmyun. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could make out the features of Kim Jongin, who sat down beside him.

“You came,” Jongin said, and it was the Jongin he knew at home, not school, who he was facing. Kyungsoo didn’t speak, and Jongin offered him a bottle of soju.

“I’m under-aged,” Kyungsoo told him. Jongin laughed and handed the drink to him anyway.

“Have fun tonight Kyungsoo.” Jongin stood up. “And tell your friends not to have on my couch.” And then he left him with the bottle of soju. Kyungsoo thought about getting up and just leaving it for someone else to find but then he figured why not? Maybe Jongin was right. Maybe he should try to enjoy himself just for a night. So he uncapped the bottle and took a gulp. It burned and his eyes watered, and he wanted to choke. But he knew how alcohol worked. The body could only process so much at a time. The more you drank in a short amount of time the more drunk you would get. With that in mind he downed the bottle, knowing he wouldn’t suffer long. Then he chucked the empty bottle into the bushes and made for the kitchen to find another drink while he was still coherent enough to walk.

Ten minutes later he could feel it. Working on his third bottle, he could feel himself getting lighter. Not physically, but like his spirit was floating. It was stupid and cheesy and exactly how the textbooks put it, but that was just how it was. He kicked Sehun and his boyfriend off the couch, telling them to get a room – they were long past the point of needing to leave the public; Sehun was trying to take off Luhan’s shirt and Luhan had his hand down the younger’s pants, both of them giving out loud vocal pleasure – and sitting in their place when they left. He’d slowed down his drinking rate on the third bottle of soju but it was far too late to undo the effects that would come or feel regret for it so he just kept sipping away. He was starting to feel… sociable, which was a very, very dangerous sign. And he knew it, but he liked it. This might be the only time he would strike up a conversation with someone just for the hell of it. And if Kai came up to him now…

Kai still hadn’t showed himself but soon Kyungsoo forgot about him when a pretty girl sat down beside him, blatantly flirting.

“You’re very cute,” she said, words slightly slurred in drunkenness. “You aren’t here with someone else are you?”

He could’ve said Joonmyun, but he knew that wasn’t what she meant so he just shook his head, earning a grin. Her hand was knotted into the front of his shirt in seconds, yanking him forward to steal his lips. Not sure of what he was doing, he let her lead. If he wasn’t intoxicated he would have felt awkward or – more likely – disgusted, but now he was just curious. And he let her take control, straddling his hips and pushing his jacket down off his shoulders, one hand twisting into his hair and jerking his head back roughly before biting his lower lip. He closed his eyes, not wanting anything to obscure that pure physical pleasure, and he felt her hand sliding up his shirt, fingertips brushing over his chest. But then her weight was gone and he opened his eyes to see her standing in front of him, smirking, someone else with their arms around her. Kris.

“Did you actually think a girl would be interested in you?” he sneered. He was with Tao, Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who were staring at Kyungsoo in amusement. “I just had Mikye pretend to be interested in you. You’re pathetic. Can he even kiss?” The girl shook her head, laughing. “Come on, I’ll show you real pleasure.” Chanyeol guffawed while Tao’s eyes looked sad. As he went Kyungsoo heard Kris saying, “Hey Jongin, we’re gonna steal a room, cool? We’ll leave yours for you. Get it in man.” Then Kyungsoo felt someone hitting him roughly on the shoulder and he heard someone say in his ear, “Come with me.”

Kyungsoo looked up to see Jongin walking off down an empty hallway and followed after him, confused.

“I told you to get your friends off my couch, that didn’t mean find someone else to screw you on it,” Jongin hissed when he turned to face the older.

“What? I didn’t even…”

“I saw you!”

“What, is it a sacred couch or something? Why do you care so much?” Kyungsoo tried to walk away but he was pulled back by the arm.

“Don’t be screwing around with people you don’t know, okay?”

“Why are you so concerned about what I do?” Kyungsoo snapped at him. “You’re the one who told me to go out and have fun tonight. Now you’re putting restrictions on me?”

“No, it’s just – common sense!”

“Yeah, and what about what Kris said to you?” Kyungsoo shot. “’Get it in’? Last I heard, you don’t have a girlfriend. So you’re just gonna pick up some chick right? You do that a lot.” He had to have because the way Kris said it, it seemed like he was saying to get a move on, like he was surprised that Jongin wasn’t already off with someone. And Jongin didn’t answer which was an answer in itself. “Exactly. So let me have my fun and you go have yours.”

“Kyungsoo!”

He shook out of the boy’s grip and Jongin called after him as he started off again but Kyungsoo didn’t stop. “Kyungsoo please, you’ve been drinking, don’t do something you’re gonna regret!”

“Isn’t that what parties are for?” Kyungsoo sneered over his shoulder. “Isn’t that what the whole ‘being a teenager’ thing is? Do things you regret before it catches up to you!” Jongin was still following him and Kyungsoo quickly tapped a random girl’s shoulder. “See that guy there? He totally digs you. Go for him and don’t let him tell you no.” With that distraction waltzing drunkenly in Jongin’s direction Kyungsoo picked up his pace, heading for the door. Still drunk, but the high had worn off after Kris and Jongin. He’d had enough of this night.

“Going somewhere?” He’d finally made it to the door when naturally, Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Tao caught up to him.

“That’s the idea, yeah.”

“Don’t try and pull your on us,” Chanyeol said icily. He nodded to Tao and together they both grabbed one of Kyungsoo’s arms. Kyungsoo shouted, struggling, but they just dragged him outside and around the house, laughing. Baekhyun followed along and, spotting Jongdae, called him over to help. Jongdae was with Minseok who didn’t see Kyungsoo and wasn’t sure what the trio was up to, on top of the fact that he’d already been drinking as well, so he was happy to follow his boyfriend along.

“Where are we going Baekhyun?” Jongdae asked. They reached the backyard, with the huge pool that had some people jumping and floating and splashing in it.

“I think we’re going swimming,” Baekhyun laughed, and Jongdae chortled. Chanyeol and Tao spun Kyungsoo around so his back was to the pool, his feet just inches from the edge. Minseok saw his face and shrieked and Jongdae hushed him while still laughing. But Minseok wouldn’t just be casually calmed down.

“What are you doing to him?” he cried.

“Hyung, if you don’t quiet down I’m gonna have to take you inside and punish you.”

Kyungsoo didn’t get to hear the rest. Tao was grabbing him by the shoulders and kneeing him – very, extremely hard – in the stomach and Kyungsoo temporarily lost all of his senses. He couldn’t hear, see, or feel anything and then just as quickly there was nothing but pain. He didn’t get time to recover either as Chanyeol followed up by punching him in the exact same spot. And then Jongdae was there, Tao and Chanyeol holding Kyungsoo up so he could speak to the weakened boy.

“You know, I really hate your friends – Luhan and Sehun,” Jongdae was whispering in Kyungsoo’s ear, a million miles away. “But Minseok won’t let me touch either one of them. Luhan, I understand, but Sehun… It’s because Luhan cares about him, and Minseok won’t let me hurt someone Luhan loves either. But I don’t think he cares so much about you, so this-” His blow hit Kyungsoo in the stomach for the third time. “Is for Luhan, and this-” His next hit was aimed at Kyungsoo’s face, upper-cutting into the doubled over boy. “Is for Sehun. Let him go boys. And this – well, this is just because I really don’t like you.” Kyungsoo was released and Jongdae held him up by his shirt, staring him in the eye although Kyungsoo couldn’t focus on him. And then he was falling backwards, shoved away by Jongdae, right into the pool behind him.

Any air left in his lungs was forced out by the impact of his body hitting the water. Idiotically, he gasped. He was in so much pain and now he had just worsened it by causing himself to choke on water – every cough racking torture through him. He seemed to take an age to hit the bottom and when he did, it forced his eyes closed. Numbness started to take over and he let himself sink into the blackness of it.

“

They couldn’t let him drown of course. Tao jumped in after a minute to pull him out and throw him on the ground. Minseok was there immediately, checking to see if he was breathing or not. He fortunately knew CPR and began performing it immediately, Kyungsoo choking up water and being revived but not gaining consciousness. Not knowing – or caring – what to do with him since he was alive, Chanyeol ordered Tao to pick him up and take him inside, shove him in a closet or something. Tao obeyed. Minseok sat there sobbing, and Jongdae tried to comfort him but the older boy wouldn’t have it. He had shoved him violently earlier and then gotten Baekhyun to hold him back so that Jongdae could knock Kyungsoo unconscious and throw him in the pool. Jongdae apologized over and over, trying to take Minseok’s hand, hug him, hold him, something, and eventually Minseok broke down, crying into Jongdae’s shoulder.

As for Kyungsoo, he was stuffed in the closet near the back door, not to be discovered until the next day when a certain boy was trying to clean up and clear out his house of garbage and people for when his family returned that afternoon.